Hello my beautiful readers,
It feels like forever! I have to thank every single one of you for sticking by my side! Especially mazeygrace18, Beetle126, Love. Fiction. 2017, and CrazyFreakingParselmouth for their reviews on the previous chapter! I feel bad mentioning this but i did feel slightly disheartened as the previous chapter did get less reviews then my average, Please dont forget to leave feedback down below, it makes my day to hear what you think about the story!
I hope you enjoy the chapter!
"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."- E.E Cummings
"Sirius I don't understand why you're dragging me into this?" Lily groaned as Sirius pulled her along by the hand. Sirius turned to her as he halted abruptly, causing her to stumble forward.
"Sirius!" She whispered harshly, he turned to her and gasped.
"Why?" he whispered, "Why do you think?"
"Marlene dared you to?" Sirius let out a bark of laughter as they stood below the sign that, in a cursive font, had printed, Agent provocateur. Lily felt dread and nervousness in the pit of the stomach. She was in a lingerie shop with her fiances best friend and her best friends boyfriend. This was a recipe for disaster.
"No!" he snorted, running a hand through his silky hair, "I'm deciding to spice up your sex life."
Lily felt her cheeks flush, was James unhappy? she thought they had a great sex life, but maybe that was one sided. She felt her stomach churn and tears well in her eyes at what Sirius had said, her cheeks flushed crimson and she felt as though she could just sit in a corner and cry her heart out.
Sirius looked down at Lily and seeing her reaction thought back to what he said. He winced as he realised what it seemed like and cringed slightly, she must be feeling like a wreck, he didn't think he could feel any more guilty than he did.
"No Lils." He winced at the slight voice crack, "I didn't mean that."
"Sounded like it." She huffed out, her cheeks flushing red. He grabbed her by the arms and looked into her emerald eyes, shaking her slightly, but being careful that his grip wasn't too rough.
"Trust me, James barely tells me anything about your private life, he respects you too much to tell me that." She smiled slightly, causing him to smile in turn, "I mean this as a massive gesture and late birthday present."
Lily bit her lip as a smile spread across her face.
"Plus you can help me find something for Liz." Lily snorted in amusement and her eyebrows rose as they began their foray into the shop.
"You are actually such a pig." Sirius let out a bark of laughter as he eyed the shop keeper who approached them.
"Actually I'm a dog." Lily stifled a laugh and put on her best straight face as the lady approached. She struggled to stop her jaw from dropping as the girl came closer, obviously sensing her nervous vibes, she was beautiful! Lily couldn't help but feel a little jealous as she looked upon her. The lady had the most perfect hourglass figure, with was showcased with a white shirt which was tucked into a black pencil skirt. She had bright blue eyes, dark brown hair which was put into a low bun and she had sparse bangs, bright red lips and unblemished, pale skin. Lily shifted on the spot as she felt wholly inadequate next to the woman. This woman was the very image of a model, she looked like she could be on the front cover of Playboy.
"Hello, welcome to Agent Provocateur, How may I help you two" She looked slightly suspicious of Sirius but still beamed at the two, Lily swore that the shops blinding lights were reflecting off the girls white, straight teeth.
Lily with flaming cheeks replied to her question, "We're just exploring." Sirius rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching.
"She's being modest, we're here to buy some sexy lingerie."
The woman let out a musical laugh, her hand going to her hip as she cocked it out, "I like you two! You make a good match."
The two young adults froze in their spots. Horror overcoming their features at the ladies implications.
"Oh no, shes not-"
"No, no his not-"
The woman grimaced at their reaction and looked at them apologetically, her immaculate eyebrows furrowing together. "You're not siblings are you?"
Lily looked at Sirius and quirked a brow at him with humour, "No!His my fiancés best friend and my best friends boyfriend." The woman nodded slowly, understanding clear on her face,
"But we're friends too."
The lady laughed looking at them, "May I enquire as to what you two are after?"
"Well, I thought that as a belated birthday present I could buy dear Lily a gift that would benefit my best friend."
The woman nodded and winked at him, causing him to reciprocate with a roguish smirk. The shop assistant, Charlotte, smiled in a way that was meant to be friendly but came off patronising and made Lily feel like a naïve fourteen-year-old shopping for her first bra. She bit her lip and Lily couldn't help but wonder how her lipstick didn't stain her teeth by doing that action.
"Well, I recommend you stick to this side of the shop. I don't think that side is really what you're after honey." Lily quickly flickered her gaze to the left side and felt her eyes widen and jaw drop, there was an array of whips, chokers, clamps, along with lots of leather, and black. She felt her cheeks flush, no, that's definitely not her thing.
"Do you have any idea as to what you're after?" The woman asked Lily as Sirius admired the pieces hanging on the walls, "Are you after sets, or singles, or slips…"
Lily's mouth opened but no words came out, she had no bloody clue what this woman was talking about. Her cheeks flushed and She shared a side glance with Sirius who looked like her was going to choke on his laughter at her reactions.
"Erm, no not really." She sighed, wanting to crawl into a hole and die, "I don't really know what there is to choose from."
It was the truth, the most experience she had with buying lingerie was buying bras with her mum and buying a few things with Liz after James and herself got serious; She couldn't help but wish Liz was there, she knew a thing or two about lingerie and knowing her, the other side of the shop.
"That's all right honey If you guys need any help with sizing or an opinion just give a shout." She walked off with a beaming smile, back to fixing up racks.
Lily felt overwhelmed as she looked towards the array of lace that was scattered over every rack and table. She couldn't help but internally hit herself at thinking that perhaps the lace would be somewhat modest, she didn't think any of the scrap pieces of fabric would let her keep her dignity. She bit her lip as she looked around, there was everything you could imagine.
"Hey, Lily!" Sirius shouted across the store causing eyes to go towards them. Lily's face flushed as she turned to Sirius, her jaw dropped as she saw he was standing next to a wall full of vibrators of all different sizes, shapes, types and colours. He was holding an emerald green once which caused her to narrow her eyes, of all the people to come lingerie shopping with, it had to be the biggest, dirty minded mutt she knew.
"What about-"
"NO!" she huffed out, trying to convey her annoyance without embarrassing the both of them. He let out a bark of laughter and put the green vibrator on the rack.
"Can you get one for Liz's birthday?" Lily looked up at him with an eyebrow raised,
"Why, you not able to satisfy her well enough?"
Lily would look back on this memory and laugh because Sirius actually blushed at this, "No of course not, I'm more than capable." She rolled her eyes, "I reckon it'd make things interesting for the both of us."
Lily nodded in understanding, deciding not to delve into the details, and continued to look through the various designs. Sirius with interest flicked through, admiring the different types of lingerie, she really didn't want to think about what was going through his mind.
"Yes!" Lily turned as she heard Sirius exclaim, "Lils this is perfect, you have to try it."
Lily took the lacy garment from Sirius's hands as she felt suspicious about his taste and felt her cheeks flush red, in her opinion, there wasn't much to look at, infact all it seemed to be was a scrap of fabric. She felt the fabric and her eyes widened as she saw her hands so clearly it was as if she was looking at them without anything infront of them.
"Its see through!" she gaped, causing Sirius to raise his eyebrows and smirk at her.
"That's the point." Sirius laughed as he continued to browse,
"Why pay…" Lily looked at the price tag and gaped, "90 pounds if I can get the same effect naked?"
Sirius rolled his eyes and took it from her hand and held it up, "Its all about the tease young one, you wear this in front of James and you tell me the next day how the sex was."
Lily grudgingly put the garment in the bag the lady had given them and begrudgingly continued browsing. After they filled up a bag of garments for Lily, Sirius turned to her and bit his lip.
"I know the point of today was to buy stuff for you and for me to splurge on you, but can we please buy Liz something?" Elizabeth had really wanted to come with them, but due to working on an experimental charm she'd barely had time to come home let alone go shopping.
"I thought that that's what we were going to do first but you started finding me lingerie." Lily laughed, leaning against a wall as Sirius scanned around.
Sirius rolled his eyes and began to walk to the other side of the store, "Now I know Liz well, but I don't know her exact measurements."
"You're such a bad boyfriend Sirius, how do you not know that?" She gaped, mocking him, Sirius rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow, "I would've thought you'd have measured her in her sleep!"
He rolled his eyes and let out a bark of laughter, "I'm sure James knows all your sizes." Lily let out a laugh and shook her head,
"He really doesn't!" She laughed, "Liz is shorter than me, her boobs are a cup bigger and her bum is slightly bigger."
"Bigger is better." He stated causing her to elbow him,
"I'm going to hope you weren't just insulting me." Sirius let out a laugh,
"I would never insult her highnesses." He laughed as he moved towards the racks.
For Liz they picked up a beautiful white bodysuit (which Sirius had chosen for Lily in black), which was high neck and embroidered with sheer lace around the bust until the belly button in a crossed over fashion with a large slit in the middle of the chest area until just above the belly button, the bottom was sheer aswell with the lace on her hip area and the bottom was resting at just below her hip bone and was a thong style.
The second piece was a black thong suspender set, which was all connected with gold clips, the top was a black push up which had three straps crossing over her chest and connecting to a choker.
The final piece was chosen by Lily, it was a dark red, bra and pantie set. It was sheer with a large red embroidered flower to protect her modesty, and the red embroidery went slightly down to her ribs. The bottom was a thong, with frills on the sides to create the illusion of larger curves. It was all tied together with red ribbon.
After they purchased Elizabeth's items, at a price so expensive Lily nearly choked on her own saliva, She walked with Sirius in tow towards the change rooms which were, in her own opinion, even classier than the sleek design of the store. With gold bars and dark red velvet curtains, it looked like it was from a movie. Sirius sat down on the outside and waited with the shop assistant who joined them as the store had quietened down.
An hour of trying on lingerie later, and two black bags later they left the shop. Lily had bought a gold, tight satin slip which ended just at her buttocks, just wearing the tight item had felt so daring and promiscuous, but not in a bad way. She bought a lacy, sheer light pink, lilac bodysuit, which had an open back, sat at the top of her hipbone and was a v neckline with thick straps. Along with a set which had her entire body burning red as she put on, it hid nothing, all her freckles, and blemishes and scars were out for the world to see. It was a very light pink, almost pearly nude bra, which had a very sheer net cup which was delicately embroidered with pale pink, it ended just after her nipple and it had two straps on either end going from the middle of the bra to the straps, with bows at the end and a matching thong for the bottoms. The final piece and Lily's favourite was an emerald green two pieces, It was high halterneck with a large slit through the middle, scalloped lace covering her décolletage and accentuating her cleavage. The back was covered in green lace in scalloped design and the bottoms were also a matching thong, tied together with a ribbon.
Lily had felt extremely self-conscious at the idea of wearing such daring and well…naked pieces in front of James. She was not a shy person but wearing something so revealing had made her feel like throwing up. There really was no reason for her to feel self-conscious around him, he loved her, he showered her with affection all the time and they were engaged, they lived together for Merlin's sake. Despite her nerves, she couldn't deny the desire that coursed through her at the thought of wearing something so provocative in front of James and imagining his reaction. She could almost imagine his reaction and she felt her anxiety melt away, She felt her heart begin to race. She felt her posture become straighter and if she had been in that changing room she would've given her hair a shake and winked because she felt as though something foreign had awakened within her, she felt as though a vixen had awoken within her.
She knew that tomorrow she would be calling Sirius up and thanking him.
And not just because he leant his wallet for the lingerie.
The order sat around the table with grave expressions on their faces, which stained with horror at the news they had just received and the images that had come through. The tragedy's that were plaguing their society was truly the most disturbing thing that had happened to them.
53 muggles dead.
The werewolves had attacked.
Elizabeth shook her head in disgust, all signs of pleasure and happiness from the events of the night before had disappeared from her being as she stared straight ahead at the wall in disbelief. She couldn't begin to convey how somebody could commit such atrocities. To kill so many in such a brutal, bloody way, it disgusted her to her core.
She couldn't believe the world they lived in, she couldn't believe how far humanity had fallen and how people could stoop so low. She couldn't believe that she could possibly be bringing a child into this life, how selfish would she be seen as. How cruel, would it be, to curse a child to the horrors of this world.
"What do we do now? How do we come back from this?" Dorcas asked, leaning back in her chair, her eyes red rimmed and swollen. "So many have died, so many have-"
"We fight," Marlene replied, shaking her head and interlocking her hand with Dorcas's, looking into her beloved eyes with an intensity that surprised everyone. "We fight so hard that we avenge every single person's death, none of them will die in vain."
Benji leant back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We kill em." He proclaimed causing everyone's gaze to flicker towards him and for murmurs to echo around the room. "Nearly a quarter of Order members are Aurors and let's face it, the act allowing Aurors to use unforgivable's gives us the upper hand."
Sirius snorted, "You forget the law never stopped the Death Eaters before."
Mad eye chortled, "Didn't stop you either."
Sirius opened his mouth to snap back in anger before Dumbledore threw sparks in the air, his usually calm demeanour contorted with what can be described as a combination of anger and chastisement.
"ENOUGH!" He roared, "Despite the ministry's latest act, there is no need for you to be using unforgivable's."
Sirius's face contorted into a scowl at the man's words. "Oh yeah so if Lucius Malfoy is about to AK me I shouldn't attempt to AK him back?"
"You shouldn't wait for him to AK you, you should just do it," Marlene muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear, resulting in sounds of disappointment from the elder generation.
Sirius winked at her, "I would love to, but that would land me in Azkaban because it's not on the grounds of self-defence."
Marlene rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted by Dumbledore who had slotted his hands together in front of him.
"No matter what your status is, your job position or opinion on this war. No order members are permitted to use unforgivable's."
"The Aurors are." Marlene retorted, rather rudely for somebody who was talking to their former headmaster.
"Despite being an Auror, I do not want any of you using unforgivable's."
"With all your respect sir, If my life is being threatened I'm going to protect myself using any method possible," Gideon spoke up, feeling bold, his ears flushing red.
"That type of thinking will lead you down a dark path." The old man shook his head morosely, feeling pain in his chest at the thoughts the young members of the order were having.
Sirius felt his anger spike and he couldn't hold it in any longer, his eyes flashing.
"You've gone soft in your old age Dumbledore!"
Dumbledore grinned, his eyes regaining their infuriating twinkle, giving Sirius the urge to rip his hair out, "With age comes wisdom."
"And senility!" Sirius snorted causing the rest of the group to gasp or snort, "I distinctly recall you once telling me age is no measure of wisdom!"
"WE ARE OFF TOPIC!" Mad eye yelled, wanted to end the fight between the two powerful wizards that was ensuing. "We are gathered her to MOURN those who died, not find more ways to kill people! We are here to come up with strategies to combat the werewolves that have joined Voldemort."
"Mad eye." Alice spoke up, having stayed silent during the argument, "I don't think any of us are in the right mind to think of strategies."
"Well lad, I think that all of you are going to have to deal with it because we don't have time on our hands, and even fewer opportunities for all of us to gather."
Elizabeth shook her head listening to the arguments that were being thrown around, she gave Remus a sidewards glance and couldn't help but feel immense sympathy for him as everyone around them sat and plotted the death of those afflicted with the same condition as him. She couldn't imagine that sitting there whilst people did that, she would've probably run out in tears by now at the graphic descriptions. She admired Remus, for his strength, for his kindness, for his capacity to love. From her peripheral vision, she saw Mary's face flushed with anger, at the cold actions of those who they considered friends. Elizabeth could relate to the sheer anger that would be coursing through Mary's veins, the poison that would be making its way through her.
She put an arm on Remus's and squeezed his forearm in a comforting manner. He looked down at his arm and then looked up. He gave her a kind smile as his eyes caught hers. He was the strongest man she knew. He was so strong in his morals, so kind, so loving. She felt morose at the sadness in his eyes.
"Whats the point in this?" Cardaroc interrupted the group who was discussing their methods and the strategies they would use to slaughter the werewolves. The group silenced immediately at what he said, wondering where he was going. "We were literally just discussing how we shouldn't use unforgivable's because it will lead us down a dark path, yet, we are sitting here discussing how to murder werewolves, who were obviously given a much better deal by Voldemort than they were by us."
The group all sat there in their pity, wallowing in silence and in Cardarocs deep words.
"Would we have not done the same, would we have not made the werewolves kill for us too? They are normal people who have an unfortunate alignment that progresses with the phases of the moon, who are trying to find their place in the world; and if you've been rejected enough times and you're barely surviving what are you to do?"
He left the question hanging, "We are losing this war." He stated, hitting his fist on the table, causing everyone to jump, "We are losing this war because we do not have anything in this war that sets us apart, except for a set of morals and principals. We fight this war with more rules than Hogwarts had."
Peter stood up abruptly, "Why are we all acting like this?" he questioned, feeling his knees shaking as he stood up before the entire order giving his opinion, he had never done this before, his stomach churning and round face flushing, "Why do we fight if none of us has any hope? Why waste resources, why place targets on our heads, if it's all for no reason?"
"Peter-" Lily started, but Peter put his hand up in an uncharacteristically confident way,
"No Lily. We will be fine." He stated, "We will all be fine." He reiterated, causing many to shrink away, and for most, tears to well in their eyes at the thought of a world where there was no war, at the thought of not risking their lives everytime they left the house. "The bad guys always lose, isn't that how it is, isn't that the unwritten rule of war? That in the end, we will all be fine."
Elizabeth felt a tear run down her cheek, as she saw the darkness outside of the window, and she shadows caused by the moon be drawn. She felt her heart thud erratically at the thought of a war free world, of the idea of a free life. She wanted nothing more. She would happily carry a hypothetical child that would cause her and Sirius to drift if that child were to be raised in a safe world.
She wanted nothing more.
She too stood up, feeling a slight flutter of nerves in her stomach from standing up in front of everyone. She gave peter a nod, he was right, he was so right.
"Peters right, We must persevere through the oppression of the darkness in order to see the light. I cant say when that'll be." He voices dropped to a mere whisper, but that didn't stop anyone from hearing her. " I cant say whether it'll be in a few hours, today, tomorrow, in two weeks, three months, or four years. But I can say, that it will happen."
Around the room, they watched her with a vivid gaze, taking in every word.
"You think so?" Dorcas whispered Elizabeth's blue eyes were filled with unshed tears as she gazed at the girl.
"I know so, so long as we are alive and breathing we'll make it. So long as our heart beats, there is always hope."
She gave Sirius a small smile, remembering Pandora's box.
Elizabeth dropped her bag on the table by the door as she dragged herself through the front. Sirius locked the door behind them as they walked in, exhausted after the meeting. She fell onto the orange couch, Sirius leant back next to her and wrapped his arm around her back. She wanted nothing more than to spend the night in his arms, her hair loose and wearing the loosest, most comfortable lounge wear she could find.
"That meeting was hell." She whispered, leaning into him and inhaling his scent. She felt at home.
"I couldn't agree more." He whispered back, he shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What are we having for dinner?"
She looked up at him and frowned, she had no bloody clue. With a groan she stood up, giving him her hand to pull himself up with. The pair, exhausted, lumbered over to the kitchen. Sirius opened the fridge, to take out any left overs and found that there were none.
"Anything?" she asked, he shook his head, pulling out a whole chicken. She groaned at the thought of cooking, "Can we just, I dunno, have a nap and then go and buy something, I mean we can probably live off of a big mac or three for another day."
Sirius nodded, but still continued to look through the cupboards for any snacks.
As Elizabeth leant over the table, she couldn't help but admire his perky bum, and his muscular figure which was showcased through her favourite t-shirt of his, the grey t-shirt he was wearing. She couldn't help but admire him and imagine the life he could live. A life of fun, adventures, fighting, travel, love… he had the whole world in front of him, and had all the opportunities life could provide him. But she was holding him down, and the suspicion she carried, it would hold him back forever.
She felt guilt gnaw at her insides, how could she tell him? How could she destroy him and his entire future like that? He didn't want it, he didn't want that life, the one constant throughout their relationship, was the agreement that they wouldn't have kids. Yet here she was sitting her, contemplating how to tell him her suspicions. She had to do it, she couldn't not tell him.
"Sirius." She whispered, he turned around, and she felt her heart begin racing, this was it, she wasn't going to blow it off, she had to tell him, she couldn't lie…
"Yeah Angel?" he asked, giving her a questioning look.
"Can you…" she took a deep breath, feeling her heart beating erratically in her chest and as though she was flushing all colours of the rainbow, "Can we sit on the couch?"
Sirius furrowed his brows, but nodded, he did not deny her. But he felt his stomach flip slightly. What had happened? Was she going to tell him to stop arguing during Order meetings?
She took his hand in hers as they sat on the couch, her entire body trembling as the nerves overwhelmed her. Could she do it, could she tell him? How would he react? The hair on her bare arms stood static and she felt as though she was sitting in a freezer.
"You're shaking." He whispered, pulling her into his arms, she buried her head in the crevice of his chest inhaling his scent. "Is everything-"
"It depends." She whispered, Would she ease him into it, or would she just tell him… She felt tears welling in her eyes and as though she was going to vomit.
"I think I'm pregnant." She whispered, she knew he heard it because he let go of her immediately, as though she was infected with some contagious disease and looked at her, his face disgusted and contorted into a scowl.
"You-" he took a deep breath, she could see his cheeks paling rapidly and his eyes alight with disbelief and anger, "You think you're pregnant?"
She looked down, feeling the penetrating glare of Sirius, which was burning with rage. She nodded, shame coursing through her, feeling as though this entire situation had been her fault.
"How could you?" he whispered, his voice low causing her to feel a spike of fear, this was the Sirius Black that interrogated people in the Auror corps, this was the Sirius Black that was well known in the ministry, this was the side of Sirius Black that she barely saw... "How could you- despite knowing- I- I don't want-"
Elizabeth interjected, her anger spiking
"You think I wanted this?" she questioned, pointing at him, " Do you think that I purposely got myself pregnant? Do you have that low of an opinion of me?"
"Well how else could you be!" he shouted, standing up and throwing his arms in the air, his anger coursing off him in waves.
"In case you've forgotten, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!" she exclaimed, tears springing to her eyes, this was it, he was going to leave, she could feel it, her heart was thudding.
"How?" He ran a hand over his face, "I was always careful!" he spat,
"You're overreacting!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air, "I don't even know if I'm pregnant!"
"What will you do if you are huh?" he asked, his voice sharp, "What the hell do we do?" she opened her mouth to speak but he interjected, "We're fighting a war! We've both got targets on our heads! How will we take care of a child, for fuck's sake we're still children!"
"If its positive, we will work it out together," she whispered, leaning on her tiptoes to be more on a level with him, feeling wholly small, and pain tearing her insides apart, " We'll find a way like we always do."
He shook his head vigorously, anger coursing through his veins, he paced back and forward trembling, Elizabeth hated to admit that she felt fearful, his anger was stewing and radiating off him. He turned and punched a hole in the wall causing her to jump in her spot, startled. She placed her hand on her chest, her heart skipped a beat from the shock and fear coursing through her veins.
"I-I can't do this." He whispered, shaking his head, "I'm sorry."
He didn't even give her the dignity of looking into her eyes as he apparated, nothing. He just left, just as she knew he would.
I feel like crying for Liz? Anyone else? Also how cute are Sirius and Lils? I love their friendship so much and there is definitely more of them coming up! Down below is an exciting spoiler for the upcoming chapter!
"She would leave the country to protect them."
WHAT! The next few chapters are extremely juicy! I can't wait to upload them for you guys! Just remember that not all is as it seems!
Actually, I have an important question, Please answer in a review or send me a PM, Where do you want this story to go? What do you want to happen or not to happen? Please let me know!
Goodnight my lovelies and don't forget to leave a review!
Ruby xx