I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday... again. I don't even have an excuse. Sorry.

Chapter 13. –Atelophobia

Atelophobia; the fear of imperfection, of not being good enough.

~From the Urban Dictionary

Because of the turbulence, which really scared the pee out of Freddie -which was hilarious- the flight took about 18 and a half hours. And I think both me and Freddie actually slept part of that time. Spencer on the other hand, slept nearly the entire time. In fact, he only woke up once to do exactly two things.

One; eat airplane food –which is seriously gross, by the way, even I thought so! And two; set fire to it –which really wasn't that much of a problem to me since it was disgusting anyway, but, apparently, setting fire inside an airplane is a big deal.

Thankfully, Freddie made sure Spencer wouldn't get arrested, but he did have to pay a huge penalty, and the security guy sat next to him the entire rest of the flight.

The moment the airplane landed, Freddie raced out before everybody else. "Relax, nub!" I called after him. "We're already on the ground, we can't crash anymore!" Spencer, and even the security guard, started laughing, but none of it slowed Freddie even the tiniest bit down.

"Okay, wazzbags." I said. "Let's follow scaredy-cat over there, before we lose him in Milan." I chuckled. "Yeah..." Spencer said. "I seriously doubt Marissa will ever forgive me that..." I laughed. "Well, hurry up then!"

We hurried ourselves out of the plane, the security guard still closely at our heels. Freddie met us at the baggage line, he already got a hold of our bags. Spencer and I took a few from him, before all walking over to the main entrance. We had agreed to meet Carly and her boyfriend Antonio over there.

"Yo, Carly!" I yelled as soon as I saw her. She immediately came running up to us. I pulled her in a hug. "Sam! I missed you so much!" She cried. "I missed you too, cupcake." I said. Suddenly she loosened herself from my embrace.

"O my God. What's the security guard doing here? Sam! What did you do?" She yelled. "Nothing, I swear!" I said. Carly turned around, facing Spencer. "Spencer! Did you set the plane on fire?" She asked with a death glare.

"Just the cookies!" he whined. "Spencer!" She yelled. "I'm sorry!" he cried. "Err, in his defense, the cookies were disgusting." I said. Carly glared at me. "Sorry." I mumbled. "Well, anyway, Ms." The guard said. "He'll have to come with me. Nothing serious, just a few formalities."

Carly sighed. "Fine. Do you need anyone with you?" She asked. "Naah." Spencer said. "No need, I'll take a cab. I'll be home in no time." He assured us. "Okay then." Carly said. "But give me a hug before you go, I missed you!" Carly and Spencer hugged each other tightly before Spencer and the guard walked away.

"So, what do you say we go home and I make you all a good meal, yes?" Antonio asked with a huge Italian accent. "Yes!" I growled enthusiastically. "I haven't had decent food in almost twenty-four hours! And airplane food –that's just gross." I said. "Well, then let me take care of that!" Antonio said.

Antonio was, like, the best boyfriend ever. He was tall, handsome –he had real Italian looks- and a charmer. And on top of all that, he was studying on a cooking school. So that made even I liked him. Antonio was a welcome addition to our crazy little family.

A few hours later, after having eaten a well prepared meal, Carly and I found ourselves in her room, unpacking my bags. Well, it was really just Carly doing the unpacking. I was eating a fat cake. After having been silent for a little while, Carly suddenly spoke up. "You like Freddie, don't you?"

I nearly choked on my fat cake and Carly had to slap me on the back multiple times to bring me back. "Sam? You okay?" Carly asked. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I suppose so." I said. "Carly, could you please not make these idiot jokes around me anymore? I don't think it's funny."

"It's not a joke." Carly said. "I've seen you around him, it's almost like you're back to the way you were when you guys were dating." "No it's not!" I claimed. "That'll never happen again."

"Why not?" Carly asked. "You two like each other!" she said. "No. We. Don't." I spoke like I was explaining something to a toddler. "Yes. You. Do." Ha. Carly knew the trick. "Sam… Please. I've known you two forever, and I know how you guys act when you're in love –especially with each other." Carly said.

Just then it hit me. Carly spoke about you guys. And each other. As in plurality. She was claiming Freddie was in love with me, too. I didn't care about that. It didn't make my stomach twitch. It didn't make me want to scream like an idiot. I didn't care. Because it wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

Freddie couldn't like me. And I couldn't like Freddie. It couldn't be true. And therefore it wasn't.

"It's not true, Carly." I said. "Just… let it be, okay?" I should have known better. "Sam…" she said. "Hey. It's just me, remember? Now, I know you like him –we've been friends long enough for me to just know. So why won't you just say so? You know you can tell me anything."

I closed my eyes shut tight to push the upcoming tears away. "You like him, don't you?" Carly tried once more. "And so what if I did?" I suddenly snapped. "What does it matter? What difference does it make for me to tell you, except for that it breaks my heart to say it?" Hot, angry tears were flooding down my cheeks.

"So, yes, I like him. I'm in love with him." I cried. "It's true. Are you happy now?" I whispered. "Sam…" Carly carefully laid her hands on my shoulders. "Sam, where is all this coming from?" she asked softly. "Why are you so upset?"

I buried my face in my hands. "I don't know." I cried. "I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you. I'm not. I'm just…" I tried to swallow my tears, but they kept coming. "Hey… hey now… come, sit down." Carly gently pushed me down on the bed before wrapping her arms around my frame. I softly sobbed into her shoulders.

"This is so stupid." I sobbed. "It's not stupid Sam." Carly said with certainty in her voice. "Anything that makes you this upset can't be stupid." I unwrapped myself from her arms and wiped my cheeks. "Are you okay now?" Carly asked. I nodded. "Good. Now. Why are you so upset about this?" Carly asked softly.

I shrugged. "Now, come on." Carly said in warningly kind of voice. "There's got to be a reason. You said that it didn't matter –that it makes no difference. Why would you think that?" Tears filled my eyes again.

"Are you afraid that he doesn't like you back?" Carly whispered. Tears fell down my face and my breathing got heavier. Carly gently patted my back. "Cause, you don't have to be, you know. You don't. I know he loves you back. I just know."

I shook my head. "No he doesn't." I cried. "He couldn't." "Why not?" Carly asked bewildered. I shrugged again and looked away. "Because." I whispered. "Because what?" "Because we tried before. It didn't work out then either." My voice got softer and softer. "I just ain't good enough, I guess." I whispered, so soft you could barely hear it.

But Carly heard. "Sam, what are you talking about? What do you mean not good enough? You're the best damn person I've ever known!" Carly yelled. Carly never swore. This was serious business. "Underneath that thick skin of yours lays a heart of pure gold! And I love you, dammit!" Carly's eyes had filled themselves with tears, too.

"So don't you ever dare saying you ain't good enough, you hear me!" she cried. She pulled me in her arms and we both cried. "You're my best friend, and I love you. You're amazing, Sam. Please believe that." She whispered. "Please?" I slowly nodded into her shoulder.

But I wasn't quite sure yet if I could mean it.

Okay... that wasn't my best work. What did you think?

Next chapter will be in Carly's POV. I hope it'll be up tomorrow, but I'm not promising.