Burn

by xLion'sRoarx

When BB, a dangerous criminal, escapes from jail and sets his eyes on Light, the entire investigation is thrown into chaos. The Kira case flies off the metaphorical tracks, and as Light's world comes apart at the seams, his own emotions bar him at every turn, turning calculations into reckless actions and throwing into danger everything that he has fought to protect. LxLight

13. Sunset

Welcome to chapter thirteen! I don't actually have a whole lot to say about this one, other than the fact that this is the last chapter that focuses heavily on the silver world. After this, not many scenes will be taking place there. And to offer warning in advance, the story will pick up again after this chapter.

Thanks if you left a review on the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one!

Chapter 13: Sunset

Kira lay back on the forest floor, arms crossed beneath his head as a makeshift pillow. The world around him was gloriously red, a shade of scarlet so violent that one would believe that it was actually bathed in thick, beautifully grotesque blood. Everything here was perfect. The grass, the trees, the flowers, the sky itself… all perfect, all flawless. How could anyone think it was anything less than pure? How could Light, that fool, think that the red sea was corrupt? How could he not understand that this red, this perfection, was his natural state of being? How could he resist it?

A the soft sound of water rising and falling met Kira's ears, and he grinned as he turned his head towards the gentle noise. The edge of the water was barely ten feet away, lapping at the silver of Light's mind. With every gentle swish, the water advanced further and further. Over just the past few days, Kira had made considerable progress in turning that silvery world into a scarlet wasteland. He wasn't sure just how large Light's mind really was, even though he'd inhabited it for so long, but he had a feeling that he'd already covered a good portion of it in that beautiful red color. And the process was only increasing in speed with every hour that ticked by. In just a few minutes, Kira knew that the edge of the water would have covered countless yards. And soon, the place in which he lay would be completely submerged. As it was, the ground was already completely waterlogged, soaking through his clothing and slowly creeping up his sides. In a few minutes, he'd be completely covered in the stuff. Kira let out a soft sigh, stretching his arms above his head before slowly pushing himself into a sitting position. He leaned on one arm and raised the other skyward, observing the way his scarlet fingers so beautifully matched the sky. He kept his legs splayed out in front of him, moving his feet back and forth carelessly. Ripples ran out through the water with every move he made, moving hypnotically, entrancingly. The ripples, Kira reflected, were what had captivated Light long enough for him to reach out and touch him, thus starting the ever-shortening process of corrupting him.

The water was becoming uncomfortably high now. Sighing, Kira lazily pushed himself to his feet and began splashing through the stuff, heading for the silver land not far beyond. It was a shame… as long as Light was awake, he had no physical form in this world for Kira to consume. But that was no matter—he could still continue consuming pieces of his host's mind, bit by bit, so he had to run further and further every night to escape him. Kira had reached the edge of the water. For a long moment he just stared out into the silver that rested just beyond, allowing a vague sense of disgust to wash over him. The purity of that silver was disgusting. Oh, how Kira wanted to defile it, to destroy all those damned morals Light had built up in his absence. Smirking, he took a step over that red, watery line, stepping onto the silvery grass. He walked forward slowly, reveling in the way his shoes left behind large splotches of crimson with every step he took. He reached out one hand, flicking scarlet water from his fingers and laughing as he saw the way it splattered against the silver. His other hand shot out and placed a handprint of red across one of the oak trees nearest to him, eyes following with amusement as the red began to spread out over the tree like a progressing disease. The rotting wood creaked unsteadily under the weight of the still-silver branches, and a heartbeat later the thing was splintering at the trunk and falling with a massive splash into the red sea, which had already crept up to its base. Kira splashed on, repeating the action with the next tree, then the next. It was so satisfying, watching Light's mind fall apart.

One of the larger oak trees came crashing to the ground, and Kira felt Light's whole mind tremble in pain. Ah, yes… the headaches. Those were caused by him, admittedly. With every tree, every flower, every blade of grass that was painted red, that headache grew worse and worse. Before long, Kira knew, it would be unbearable.

"You're moving fast, I see."

Kira turned slowly, casually, and spotted the owner of that voice sitting atop one of the lower branches of a silver tree. "Shinigami," he greeted coolly. "Are you so lacking in other things to do that you remain here constantly?"

"As I told Light, I have taken a particular interest in the development of this matter."

Kira sighed, "Yes, yes, I heard. I also heard that you erased my fake rules from the notebook. Now, why would you do something like that? What did you have to gain?"

The child raised a brow. "You pride yourself on your intelligence, do you not? If you can't even figure something so simple as that out for yourself, then I am entirely disinclined to tell you."

The scarlet being let out a low snarl. "If you're not here to do anything useful, then leave." He continued his slow advance, felling trees as he moved. Above him, the sky was rumbling, the clouds darkening as if a storm was spreading across it. "You're not on Light's side, so why are you even here?"

"You don't think I'm on his side?" the child asked, clearly surprised.

"If you were, you wouldn't have let me touch him. You would have steered him in the opposite direction as fast as you could. So no, I feel safe in saying that you are not on his side, no matter how much you want him to believe that you are. But you are also not allied with me. So whose side are you on, anyways?"

The child dropped from his tree branch, feet striking the silver ground that was swiftly becoming not so silver. He brushed off his barely dirty clothing, finally responding, "It's none of your business whose side I'm on."

"That's good," Kira said sarcastically. "At least, I'm glad you're not on Light's side. Because let's be honest here…" He swept a hand out, motioning to the red sea. "He's losing. You told him that he could fight me using his will, but it didn't work. Did you really think that it would? Or were you lying, as shinigami are so inclined to do?"

The child turned his face skywards. "You don't need to know such things."

Kira shouldered his way past the child, the sea at his heels. "Your feet are getting wet," he warned mockingly. "Do you want to be corrupted along with Light?"

"I am in no danger from you." As if in emphasis, the child raised one foot from the scarlet water, displaying its orangey hue.

A strong tremor passed through the landscape, and Kira couldn't help but grin as he felt the amount of pain Light was in. His poor head was growing worse and worse. "Poor, poor Light," he sighed. He kept moving, not looking back at the child shinigami, who hadn't moved an inch. The water was climbing steadily up his form—he was already up to his knees in the stuff. "It won't be long," he shot over his shoulder. "I'd advise you to get out of here now, before everything comes apart at the seams." He waited for a response, but none came. Frowning, he turned to face the shinigami. But… he wasn't there. The child was gone, as if he'd dissolved into the water. The bastard… Kira thought bitterly. I wonder where he went.

No matter. Kira continued forward, splashing and kicking water up further onto the silvery grass. He ground his heels into the watery ground, grinning as he felt Light's pained response. "Enjoy it while you can," he shot up at the sky, though he didn't allow Light to hear him. "You have no idea what's going to happen to you, my Light." Everything was planned out perfectly. Once Light succumbed, there would be no other obstacles in his way. The only possible hitch in the plan, Kira knew, lay with L. Clever, insightful L. Kira admired him, truly. But he was too smart for his own good. So smart, in fact, that he was the only person that he was even remotely concerned about. If his plan was going to fail, it was going to be because of L.

Maybe not, he thought. If I'm lucky, he'll be too shaken up when he realizes that his precious Light is gone, and won't be able to act. Maybe, just maybe, the time he spends in mourning will give me the time I need to make sure he doesn't become a problem. It's a shame that Light send Rem away… I could have used her to speed things up. Perhaps I could have had her bring me my Death Note.

A sudden rumble paired with the rushing of water around his feet cut off Kira's train of thought. He frowned, peering out through Light's eyes to see what was going on. The teen was wide awake despite the late hour, turned on his side to face L as his eyes raked his sleeping form. One hand was resting over the detective's waist, his thumb lightly rubbing over the flesh exposed by his slightly raised shirt. The other was raised to L's cheek, his fingers tracing over pale flesh. You really love him, don't you, Light? Kira thought, still refusing to let the teen hear him. It's going to hurt you so terribly when I kill him. Kira felt remorse, remorse so strong that it was almost painful, radiating from Light's mind with a vengeance. You poor thing… Kira chuckled darkly. The pure agony Light was in… it almost made him feel bad. Almost.

With a small smile, Kira continued to move forward, waiting for the moment when Light's mind became completely engulfed in red.

He had a feeling it wouldn't be long.

†††

When I opened my eyes, the world was silver. Oh no… I thought. I fell asleep! I didn't want to fall asleep; Kira will be after me any minute! I lurched to my feet unsteadily, knowing that I wouldn't have long before that water found me. It had been three nights since L had rescued me—at least, three nights that I was conscious for—and each time I fell asleep, without fail, I was forced to run from the water. I knew I couldn't run forever—every night it grew harder and harder to force my legs to move, harder and harder to draw breath. I felt as if a great weight were settling in my lungs, as if they were filling with sand, or some sort of ghastly fluid. I assumed it was yet another sign of Kira's impending takeover, like the piercing headache I had during waking hours. And that headache…

It grew worse and worse with every passing minute, and it left me feeling as if someone had taken a sledge hammer to the back of my skull. All attempts to ease the pain with medicine failed. The only comfort I found was in this silver world, and even that was ruined so long as Kira kept attempting to consume what remained of my mind.

"You fell asleep," a voice whispered in my ear, a voice I was all too familiar with.

I whirled around immediately, backing up the instant my eyes fell upon the scarlet form of Kira. He hadn't shown himself to me since that first night in this silvery world—rather, he had chosen to sit back and force me to endure his ranting without allowing me to locate his physical form. "Kira!" I spat out, still retreating a step at a time. I didn't dare turn my back to him, but I had to get away quickly before he had a chance to touch me again.

"You've let the water get too close," Kira went on, matching me step for step. "That's dangerous, you know. You could slip and fall in if you're not careful."

My eyes found the space behind him, and I saw with horror that the sea was directly behind him. I hadn't been this close since he'd touched me the first time. It was still rippling and churning, drawing me in despite myself. For just a moment my legs froze, and I found myself unable to move. A heartbeat later I shook myself out of it, nearly stumbling in my haste to get away.

"It's hypnotic, isn't it?" Kira whispered. "Enthralling. Don't you just want to let it take you away? You wouldn't have to deal with the headaches any more, Light. You wouldn't have to watch your friends suffer over your suffering."

"You lie," I snarled. "You intend to kill them as I watch."

The monster shrugged. "So what if I do? They're criminals, and they deserve the death I will bring them." He raised a hand, flicking his fingers outward, and red splattered the ground inches from my feet. "Careful," he warned mockingly. "You're about three seconds from falling in, you know."

I sped up my pace, glancing over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't going to hit anything. If I tripped over something so simple as a fallen branch, it would be over. I would be consumed.

Kira seemed to realize my growing fear. He grinned toothily, purring, "Afraid to die, Light? No, that's not it—you'd embrace death gladly if I offered it to you, for you believe it is the only way to rid yourself of me. So it is not your own death you fear, but those of the people around you." He lurched forward a few more steps, and I realized he was uncomfortably close. "It will hurt you so terribly when I kill L," he sighed. "I think I'll forgo the Death Note and slaughter him with my bare hands, just to watch you squirm."

The idea was repulsive. "Then what separates you from a common murderer using a knife on their victim?" I questioned.

He raised a brow. "What sets us apart? What sets us apart is that I am right, and they are wrong."

"Wouldn't a criminal think the same thing?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps."

I yelped suddenly as my back struck, the trunk of one of the oak trees. I was so stunned that for just a moment, I didn't move, stricken by the sight of the red sea moving so close to my feet.

One moment was all Kira needed.

He was suddenly terrifyingly close, a nasty leer on his face. "Oh, Light," he sighed. "You shouldn't have done that." His hand shot out. And in a moment that was both too swift and too slow, he sealed his palm to my chest.

In a single heartbeat I had smashed the heel of my shoe into his stomach, forcing him back into the red water with a splash. But the damage was already done. Without stopping to assess said damage, I turned and ran as fast as I could, crashing through undergrowth and dodging low hanging tree branches. It wasn't until what felt like forever that I finally slowed, throwing a glance behind me. The red water was still visible, but I had a few minutes before it would reach me, I noted with relief. Which was good, because my chest was heaving terribly, and my legs felt like jelly. I was exhausted.

It was then that I raked my eyes down my own form and saw what Kira had done. A soft gasp was torn from my lips as I saw the horrible patch of red staining my chest, slowly creeping further and further across my form. Is it going to stop? I thought desperately. Or is it just going to keep going until I'm completely covered? Clearly the answer was the latter, for just moments later the red stopped expanding. It now covered most of my chest, a bit of the stuff streaking down my stomach. My eyes flickered to my wrist, looking for the hundredth time at the damage Kira had inflicted the first time I saw him. The red covered my entire wrist and most of my hand. I realized with horror that if Kira had been able to do so much from just a small splotch of red, I had no idea what he would be capable of now that he'd covered most of my chest in the scarlet substance.

It… it's over… I thought desperately. I couldn't fight him in the first place, but now it's hopeless…

"Maybe not," A voice murmured.

I whirled around, expecting to find Kira right behind me, ready to finish the job—but I saw nobody. "Shinigami?" I called out, certain that it was his voice I'd heard.

"There is always a way out, for those clever enough to find it," that voice murmured again. "You are no exception."

I looked all around me, but I couldn't find the shinigami, and that voice didn't sound again. Shame… I'd wanted to ask him about the erasing of the rules in the Death Note. If he really had done such a thing, I wanted desperately to know his motives. No… I reminded myself. Rem warned me not to talk to him at all, so I shouldn't ask him. But I want to know so badly! Is he really so evil?

I forced my wobbly legs to carry me forward. I was crossing a grassy field now, and as I looked up, I saw with horror that the only way to go was up. Across the field, a massive wall of rock shot vertically into the sky, circling around the world in a half dome. The edges of it touched the forest, which was swiftly turning red, and I realized that there would be no going around it. If I wanted to continue to evade Kira, then the only thing I could do was run as far as I could, then climb up the craggy rocks. I took a few more jarring steps towards the rocks, then faltered. Did… did I have the strength to make such a climb? I could barely see the top of the cliff over the silvery clouds—just how far up did it really go?

Looking back, I saw that the red sea was expanding even swifter than before, creeping towards me disturbingly fast. It looks like it's not a matter of whether its possible to climb it or not, I thought. If I want to live, then I'm going to have to find a way to make it work.

With that in mind, I took off for the cliff at a dead sprint.

I have to make it… I have to.

†††

L awoke the next morning to a sharp kick in the side. Then a fist to the face. Believing he was being attacked, L immediately propped himself up, head snapping from side to side in a search for his attacker. But the sight he was met with was something far worse than an attacker in his room.

Matt was leaning over Light, clearly attempting to pin him to the bed as the teen thrashed against him. "Light, please!" Matt attempted, pressing his forearms into his chest, wincing as one of Light's fists smashed into his cheek. "Calm down!" Light responded by jerking his knee up and accidentally striking L in the stomach. The detective immediately rose to his knees, throwing himself over the thrashing teen and helping Matt pin him down.

"What the hell is happening?" L burst out, too stunned to care about the fact that he'd used improper language.

"I don't know! He just started kicking, and punching, and—!"

He broke off as Light writhed weakly beneath his arms. "Hurts!" he gasped out, forcing Matt's arms off him as he rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. It was a very uncharacteristic thing to do, and it worried L immeasurably. "So much red… there's so much red! L, help m—!" He was clearly still half dreaming, still caught up in that hazy limbo between sleep and consciousness.

It took the detective a moment to snap out of it. "It's okay, I'm here," he comforted the near-incoherent teen. He wrapped his arms firmly around Light, at least partially easing his squirming. "Just calm down, everything is going to be fine."

Light didn't seem to agree with that. Though he was no longer able to lash out, he did everything in his power to break away from L's hold, emitting soft whimpers and half-formed sentences.

"Light," L snapped. "Wake up, Light!" He tightened his grip on the teen, shaking him harshly. He'd been having an abnormal amount of nightmares recently, L noted.

Light's eyes snapped open, and he let out a horrible screech. "Kira—!" His eyes focused on L a heartbeat later, and his fear appeared to die down just a few moments after that, his chest heaving painfully. The bandages wrapped around his bare chest were soaked in sweat and patches of blood—he must have torn open some of his wounds.

"Your wounds…" L trailed off. "Come on, Light, let me see your back."

He shook his head weakly, refusing to move until L reached out and gently rolled him onto his front. L winced as he saw the bright red patches covering Light's back. He'd torn his injuries wide open, it seemed.

Matt let out a hiss through clenched teeth. "That doesn't look good… Light, what hurts? Is it just your back?"

The teen didn't even appear to notice that his wounds had reopened. "My head…" he groaned. "Hurts…"

"Medicine?" Matt offered feebly.

The agonized teen just shook his head, then winced at the small movement. "Won't work… the pain isn't normal…"

Isn't normal? L shuddered at the thought that this was the pain Kira was causing him, the pain that could be healed through no form of medicine. "Then lay still, and Matt will get you something to drink and some fresh bandages. Are you hungry, by any chance?"

He moved as if to shake his head, then stopped himself, clearly weary of causing himself more pain. "No."

L looked up at Matt. "Water, please. And bring some bandages and antiseptic," he said. "Fetch Near and Mello as well." He looked back down at his companion. "Light, is it Kira? Are you going to lose control?" The teen didn't answer this time, only pressed himself closer to L. His hands were clutching at his shirt in a way that L had become accustomed to, only now it was far too weak. "Just hold on," L murmured in his ear.

A few minutes later Matt returned with Near and Mello. A glass of water was clutched in one hand, a roll of bandages and a bottle of antiseptic in the other. He handed the glass wordlessly to L. "Light," L urged. "I need you to uncurl. I have water for you."

Light folded in on himself slightly further before beginning to uncurl. When he lay somewhat flat L rolled him onto his back and got behind him, propping him up. He raised the glass to Light's lips and aided him in drinking the offered liquid. He tried not to notice the shocked expressions on the faces of his successors out of the corner of his eye. The moment the glass was taken away Light curled back up in L's lap.

"No," L murmured, gently pushing Light onto his front, forcing him to display his bleeding wounds. His hands went to the bandages covering his injuries, gently unwrapping them. He winced when he got a good look at them. They were swollen and irritated, and slightly hot to the touch. L was immediately worried about infection. "Matt, hold him still," L requested. "This is going to hurt."

The successor nodded, eyes wide and afraid as he gripped Light's shoulders. A heartbeat later L drizzled the antiseptic over the deep wounds crisscrossing the teen's back, briefly considering the fact that he'd have to have Watari change the bed sheets later. L waited for the scream that would no doubt accompany the sudden introduction of antiseptic. But to his horror, Light didn't even respond to the stuff being applied to his inflamed wounds. The most he did was sniff as if he were holding back tears.

"Light?" L asked slowly. "Are you okay?"

The teen shook his head faintly. L looped an arm beneath him, drawing his limp form just slightly up so he could begin to wrap the bandage around his chest and back. When his work was complete, he gently turned Light onto his back. His hands immediately shot to the teen's pale face, soothing over his hair, stroking at his jaw. The whole time, Light did little more than wince. His expression was completely devoid of life, his eyes glazed over. L felt as if a heavy stone were resting in his stomach. What had just happened to Light? Why was he so… blank?

"How did this get so bad so quickly?" Mello demanded, his voice unusually soft. "He seemed fine when I was keeping watch last night."

"And he was acting almost cheerful when I was keeping watch," Matt put in.

"I was convinced that he was getting a handle on it…" Near seated himself beside Light, reaching out and stroking a few fingers across his forehead. The teen didn't even acknowledge the contact. "He's warm again."

Matt sat down next to Near and took Light's hand in his own. "This is bad," he hissed through clenched teeth.

Mello was the only one to remain standing, not moving to sit on the bed with the other successors. "I don't want to be the realistic one here, but we may want to restrain him."

"Mello!" Near snapped, his voice soft even in anger.

"No," L murmured. "He's right. Look at the condition he's in. If this goes on, it's only reasonable to believe that Kira will overwhelm him."

"But still, we can't just restrain him!" Matt protested. "I mean, that just seems cruel! The guy is in pain, he needs comfort, not chains!"

L tightened his grip on Light, eyes squeezing shut. "I will act as his chain, so to speak."

"What?"

"How?"

"I'll stay with him," L said softly. "Constantly. Our plan was to rotate through cycles as we did yesterday, but after this I don't feel comfortable leaving him. As is such, I will act as his chain of sorts, making sure he doesn't leave this room."

"We can still take turns staying in here just to make sure he doesn't turn and overpower you," Mello said. "Besides, if he needs anything you won't be able to leave to get it. And you have to sleep, after all."

L paused to consider. "Fine, it's settled. Two of us will be in here at all times, myself always being one of them. Explaining my disappearance to the task force won't be hard, especially if I still work on the case when Light is sleeping."

Light jolted suddenly, amber eyes locking on L's form. "No!" he rasped, chest heaving, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat. "You… you can't s-stay here! You have to w-work on the case with the task force!"

The detective stared down at him pityingly. "I will not work if there is something I could be doing to comfort you."

"You want to… c-comfort me?" His words were spoken in shallow pants of breath. "Then… w-work!" Having delivered his message, his head dropped back limply into L's lap. The detective's hands were in his hair in a heartbeat, smoothing the strands back delicately. This must have brought relief to Light, for he relaxed with a groan, pushing into L's hands.

"I will work. Just not when you're conscious." L looked up at his successors. "The task force will already be expecting you. Near, I want you to spend time here first today. Mello can go after you, then Matt. Understood?"

"Soichiro will want to see Light again if he thinks his condition has worsened," Matt warned. "And I don't think he'll be happy to see him asleep again."

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," L responded shortly. "Until then, I want you to act as if nothing has changed. On the record Light's condition has not worsened enough to be severely concerned, but I have decided to stay with him during the day just to be safe, and one of you will accompany me for security reasons. Off the record, things have obviously become much worse, and I am staying here for comfort. No one else can be allowed to know of this."

"Sounds good." Mello extended a hand to Matt, pulling him to his feet. "It's getting late. I'll head down with Matt and tell the task force what's going on."

†††

Matt rubbed at the bridge of his nose, pushing his goggles down around his neck. He'd been noticing himself taking them off quite often lately.

"This isn't looking very good for either of them."

Matt's attention was drawn to the older male leaning against the wall of the elevator, turning a wrapped chocolate bar over in his hands but not eating it. He didn't blame Mello; he didn't have an appetite either.

He went on. "I mean, you saw him. Does anyone actually think he's going to last against Kira? He said it himself, Kira is still gaining power. He plans to increase the pain until it becomes unbearable."

"We may have already reached that point," Matt murmured. His heart ached for the unfortunate pair. He couldn't imagine being in L's position, forced to watch his lover suffer knowing that the only relief from the pain would be death or submission to Kira. And that, he knew, was worse than death. The teen reached for a cigarette and popped the end in his mouth, lighting it for a change. "He can barely speak as it is."

Mello tucked the bar of chocolate in his pocket. He focused on his boots, a look in his eyes that displayed his clear attempt to mask the pain he felt. "I'd give him a few days at most."

Matt stepped forward, reaching out a hand to the blonde. "Mello…" He attempted to find words for the situation. "You don't have to act so cold towards them. I know how you feel right now."

The second ranked successor hesitated only a moment before taking Matt's hand and pulling him into an embrace. "I want to hate him," he hissed bitterly. "But seeing L happy like that, I just can't. I can't hate someone who makes him smile. I've never seen him smile before this."

"I know," Matt comforted. "I'd never seen him smile before this either. And now… the source of that rare happiness is going to be taken away from him."

The elevator came to a halt. Matt swiftly released Mello and stepped away before the doors opened. Soichiro and the rest of the task force were upon them almost immediately. Matt sighed, enduring the onslaught of questions thrown his way. He had a feeling that this was going to be a painful conversation.

†††

As predicted, Light's father wanted to see him the moment Matt announced that his condition had worsened even a tiny bit. L had been tempted to drug the suffering teen so he wouldn't have to be awake for the duration of the visit, but he knew it would appear more than suspicious if Soichiro found Light unconscious yet again. He may even demand to call the hospital again, thinking his son had gone catatonic. So L left Light conscious for the second meeting of father and son. It wasn't like Light was in any condition to reveal his identity as Kira's host body to his father in any case. The poor boy wasn't speaking much, claiming that the sound of his own voice was grating. As a result, neither of them exchanged more than a few words at a time. Instead L pulled Light into his lap, not bothering to attempt uncurling his agonized form. And that was how Soichiro found them, Light using L as a pillow and the older man using the younger as a lap warmer. He'd appeared flustered to say the least. After all, it wasn't exactly common knowledge that the two geniuses were in any sort of relationship other than their alias as begrudging allies. It had been apparent that Soichiro was swallowing a fit of anger and confusion as he approached the bed and stood stiffly beside it, one hand flitting out to brush across his son's hair. Light's eyes flickered up to his father briefly, and he very nearly said something—but then he winced, clearly responding to some twinge of pain deep within his mind, and thought better of it.

"He's doing worse, then?" Soichiro snapped gruffly.

L had given him a nod, and that was it. Soichiro Yagami turned and left without saying so much as a goodbye to his son. No doubt the task force was going to hear about this. L shuddered at the thought.

It was many, many minutes before Near—who had remained sitting silently in the corner for the duration of Soichiro's visit—spoke for the first time since Matt and Mello's departure. "I hate to bring this up, L, but don't you think this is cruel?"

The world's top three greatest detectives played idly with a lock of Light's hair. "It's beyond cruel." Near was obviously waiting for more on the matter, but he got nothing else.

"Well then… why don't you do something to end it?"

L looked up sharply. "What are you implying?" He found himself immensely relieved that shortly after Soichiro's departure, Light had fallen into a light doze, so he couldn't hear what Near was saying.

Near shifted uncomfortably. "I thought that would be obvious. I know that you are not yet willing to kill him, but we should at least move him to a remote location. You can work with the task force via computer, and Light will be completely restrained until…until we find a solution."

L heard the true meaning behind those words. We'll keep him there until you realize that we have no choice but to kill him.

"No," the detective insisted. "We won't move him away from this place."

The white-haired teen narrowed his eyes, the normal crystalline gray color suddenly seeming much sharper. "Then what's the alternative? This? Do you want Light to live in constant pain and fear that he'll hurt somebody? If you are so determined to keep him alive, then your only choice is to move him from this location for safety's sake. If he gets loose, then it's entirely possible that he will kill us all."

"It's not the only choice!" L spat. "He can beat this!" Almost as if on cue, Light suddenly groaned in his sleep and curled tighter around L. His beautiful face was contorted into an expression of agony. L rubbed his back comfortingly, and his twisted features eased slightly.

Near just shook his head sadly. "No one will blame you if you decided to kill him," he said simply. "Light won't hold it against you."

"You need to leave now."

He did.

†††

It was cold.

In actuality, it was a lot of things, but the thing I felt most was the cold. It was a sort of chill that reached through your clothing and grasped at whatever skin it could, turning your fingers blue and spreading a dull blush across your cheeks. Not at all gentle. Not at all pleasant. This was the sort of cold that aimed to kill. It was a gun, cocked and aimed at the center of my forehead. The higher I went, the higher I climbed up this infernal rock face I was scaling, the colder it got. Silvery snow whirled around me, making the rocks icy and slick. Every step was a battle to hold on, to keep my grip so I didn't plummet to the rocks below. I looked down at my feet. The snow was building higher on the rocks, making it harder and harder to cling to them. My shoe slipped off my next foothold, and for a terrifying moment I thought I would fall. The red water wasn't beneath me, not yet—but I didn't want to find out the hard way if I could die in this world like a normal human, especially not from smashing my head open on the rocks below. I regained my footing after a moment's struggle, and pushed myself up another inch. My hand reached up, shoving into the snow and finding a place to grip.

"Ow!" I yelped suddenly, yanking my hand away. I held it up before my eyes, shaking snow from my silvery flesh, and realized that the skin had been split open by a particularly sharp rock that I hadn't been able to feel due to the numbness caused by the cold. My blood, I saw, was just as silver as the rest of me. Ignoring the pain, I found a different handhold and hauled myself further up. Just a little longer, just a few more feet, and I would reach the top of the cliff.

"I could make this all stop…"

His voice was in my head again.

"All you have to do is give in to me, and it will be all over."

I shook my head back and forth desperately, clawing for my next handhold.

"This is inevitable. Why do you continue to suffer for the sake of those who only pretend to love you? You do realize that L is just going to dump you once he realizes you're a lost cause, right?"

"You're wrong!" My own voice was so weak… My eyes flickered down to my chest. The red splotch was covered in a thin dusting of snow, but I could still see the severity of the corruption. What was worse, everywhere Kira had touched was beginning to throb painfully, as if I'd been harshly struck. Contradictory to the pain, there was a paralyzing numbness starting in my fingers and toes, slowly creeping along my limbs. I feared that if it continued, I would soon be unable to feel anything.

A harsh breeze whistled past, and I flattened myself against the rock face in an attempt to escape it. I kept up my miserable climb, shoving my shoes into cracks in the rock as I hauled myself upwards. The world was beginning to fade, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before I awoke. The top of the cliff was just two feet away… with great effort, I shoved myself up a few more inches, just enough to hook my fingers over the edge. With strength beyond my battered, crimson-stained form, I managed to climb up and over the edge. The instant I knew I wasn't going to fall, I collapsed to the ground with a huff. I lay on my back, staring up at the silvery sky, chest heaving. That numbness was spreading like a disease, but so was the dull pain. It seemed that all the different parts of my body were either numb or emitting a dull ache, and it wasn't a pleasant combination. I thought that I should get up, that I should keep moving to get away from the red sea—but I found myself entirely unable to move.

A heartbeat later, my world was too blurred, too faded for me to comprehend the fact that I could be in danger. I hadn't bothered to check the water level, or how far the sea had expanded. I didn't even know if I was really safe. But I couldn't quite bring myself to rise.

I heard a low chuckle in my ear. "Go back to your master, little slave," Kira whispered. "You'll be back."

I had not the strength to speak. The cold was biting at my core, and it was only a few heartbeats before I felt darkness close in around me.

†††

Three days later, Light had deteriorated even further. L could see it in the way his flesh paled, the way his eyes grew duller and duller. That beautiful amber he'd grown so accustomed to was fading to a shade that was barely tan. But what really worried the detective wasn't the lack of brown in Light's eyes—no, that wasn't it. What really worried the detective was the subtle addition of red. Every time L looked into his lover's eyes, he saw it. A flicker of red, so light that it was barely visible—but it was undeniably there, and it seemed to grow stronger and stronger with every passing hour. Luckily, both him and the successors had the sense to shut up about it, as not to discourage Light further.

The teen hadn't eaten. Everything that went down came straight back up. He was hooked up to an IV again. It wasn't a rare occurrence that L pressed his forearm to Light's flesh only to find it burning with what could only be fire running through his veins. He was awake less and less, but he still appeared to have gotten no sleep at all. Even when he was awake, he was in a daze. He was plagued by nightmares. It seemed that every day began the same way—Light would start whimpering and thrashing in his sleep, and most of the time L would receive at least a few kicks and punches from the incoherent teen. Then, whoever was in the room, (Matt, most of the time, since he had the last shift) would be forced to help L hold Light down, lest he reopen his wounds yet again. Of course, most of the time the attempt was a failure, and L ended up disinfecting and bandaging Light's bleeding slashes all over again.

And as if that weren't enough, Light was becoming more and more unstable in waking hours as well. The trauma he'd come away with from his time with Beyond had been pushed to the back of L's mind due to how severely it paled in comparison to the threat of Kira's impending takeover. But now that things had settled down—or at least, now that the shock of Light being possessed by Kira had worn off somewhat—L was beginning to realize just how torn up Light really was. He saw it in the little things—the way the teen flinched away whenever someone touched him without warning, the way his eyes flitted back and forth endlessly, the way his fists clenched whenever someone spoke in more than a soft tone. He was clearly trying to hide his uneasiness, but for someone as watchful as L, it was useless. The only exception seemed to be when he was unconscious or near a state of incoherency due to the headaches. And even if L hadn't been as attentive to detail, there were other, more obvious ways to figure out just how damaged Light had become. One of those ways, and probably the most disheartening, was the fact that L hadn't been able to kiss his own lover properly in days. Every time he got within an inch of making contact, Light drew away as if he'd been stung. This was something that L had expected to fade within a few days, or even a few weeks. But it had already been just over a week since Light had awoken after his rescue, and things only seemed to be getting worse. He was barely allowing L to hold him during the night anymore. But seemingly contradictory to the increasing distance between the two physically, Light absolutely rejected the idea of L leaving the room for any length of time. He didn't seem to want to be away from the detective for even a moment, and he seemed eager to be close to him whenever his headache became unbearable. But at any other time, the teen seemed quite resistant to touch. Of course, L hadn't begun this relationship with his suspect because merely for want of physical contact—but still, there was only so much he could take. Light's fear was beginning to both worry and irritate him. But for now, there seemed to be nothing that he could do.

And so L stayed with Light and waited for everything to end—be it in Light's favor or Kira's.

†††

Several days later, Light awoke from the haze he had fallen into. His eyes locked onto L's blearily, and for a terrifying moment there wasn't even a shred of recognition in that haunted, pained gaze. But it didn't last long, and Light managed a small smile a few moments later.

"L," he rasped. His lips parted to say something more, but he was swiftly cut off as he hacked painfully. The detective immediately raised a glass of water to his lips, forcing the tortured teen to take a sip. It was not unlike when he'd fallen ill with that terrible fever, with him thrashing away from any substance weakly, refusing everything offered to him. Light attempted to spit out the water, only to be met with L's hand clasping over his mouth and nose. He swallowed the liquid immediately, coughing violently the moment L removed his hand. He inched away from the detective tentatively, still spluttering.

"Sorry," L said softly. "I know that the IV is helping you in regards to hydration, but you should still ingest water orally whenever you can. Please, drink more."

Light turned his head away weakly. "Please…" he rasped. "Don't make me…"

L's gaze softened as he saw the panic in his lover's eyes. "Okay, okay. Calm down. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

The words seemed to soothe Light. "Thank you." He sat up, leaning against the headboard, and L saw with relief that his eyes were the clearest they'd been in days. "I've been unconscious for many days now, haven't I?"

"Not for days at a time," L responded slowly. "Just… just large portions of those days."

"I see." He turned to face the detective, bringing his knees up to his chest a way quite unusual for him. "L…"

…Will you kill me? That was the question L was expecting, and he feared it. Feared it because the request was becoming more and more favorable, feared it because there was a gun tucked away in the bottom drawer of his desk, and L found himself more and more inclined to use it.

"…Have you gotten anything new on the case?"

L exhaled sharply in what could have been relief, but what could also have been disappointment. "Nothing new, no. Beyond doesn't want to be caught, and other than that, you're our only lead. But the team doesn't know that."

"Shame. They'd probably kill me."

L's hand was dangerously close to reaching for that gun.

"I can hear him, you know. He talks to me. Every day, all the time. In my dreams."

"Does he keep you there? Is that why you don't wake up?"

"Partly, yes. He can be very persuasive when he wants to be." He rubbed at his neck absently. "Hey, L?"

"Yes, Light?"

"Can I go see the task force?"

L's mind went blank. Why did he want to go when he couldn't even walk without help? "Out of the question. You are too weak."

"L, please. I need them to see I'm still alive. I need to see that I'm still alive. Just allow me this one thing."

L studied him carefully. He looked terrible, of course, but this was the most he'd spoken in what felt like weeks. A quick glance at the calendar hanging over by the desk confirmed that it had actually been one week of staying with Light 24 hours a day. One week of watching him suffer. One week of watching red bleed into his eyes. "You are too weak," he insisted stubbornly. "I don't want the task force to see how severe your condition has become. If I wheel you to them in a wheelchair it will make your father blow a gasket. He's already suggesting we take you to a hospital again."

"Then don't use a wheelchair. Let me walk."

"You haven't the strength, and you know it. Let us talk about something else."

The auburn-haired teen pursed his lips in a way that would have been adorable had his face not been pale and gaunt. "I want to go see them."

"Too bad."

"That's not fair!" he whined.

"Life isn't fair. If it was, you wouldn't be dying right now."

An awkward silence descended upon them. "I'm not dying," Light said at last. "I'm not. Really."

L immediately attempted to perform damage control. "Of course not. It was a slip of the tongue. I apologize if I upset you." There was a long period of silence as the two of them watched each other without really seeing, each lost in their own thoughts of the future. Then Light spoke again.

"L, you know how this is going to end."

"No."

"But you—"

"I said no, Light!"

Light's eyes glowed sadly. "Just listen to me for a moment. Kira is gaining ground. It won't be long before… before—" he broke off. "Look… all I want is to work beside the task force. Let me help you."

"You help me?" L spluttered. He looked down on Light with astonishment, eyes flickering over his near-translucent skin and protruding ribs. How could he hope to help? L wasn't sure if he could walk, let alone function alongside the task force. But then again… it was beginning to occur to L that Light's remaining days were quite possibly dwindling into single digits.

"One day."

Light looked up, surprised. "Pardon?"

"You get one day with the task force. Then you have to promise to come back and stay here."

The brunette's expression was so completely stunned that it almost made L laugh. It was as if he couldn't believe he had gotten his way. "Deal."

L gave him a gentle smile, running his hand through Light' hair. He frowned as the teen flinched away, a flicker of fear contorting his face into a disturbed expression. Immediately L felt a jolt of annoyance—why was Light so fearful of being touched? He stubbornly pressed his fingertips to Light's knee, and the teen had the same reaction—a slight flinch and a fearful glance shot in L's direction. That's it… L thought irritably. This has to stop.

"Get up."

Light looked up, surprised. "What?"

"Get up. We're going somewhere."

"W-what happened to me being too weak to move?" Light stuttered out.

L got to his feet, moving to Light's side of the bed and tugging him up. The instant the teen staggered, he looped an arm around his chest, mindful of the bandages. "I'll support you."

"But where are we going? You have to call one of the successors to watch me in case Kira takes over! It's bad enough that we're alone right now!"

L suppressed a groan. He'd sent Mello, who was supposed to be on watch, to wait outside so he could have a few minutes alone with Light. That way, if he heard a scuffle break out between a newly in control Kira and L, it would take no time at all for him to enter the room and help restrain the teen. "There are surveillance cameras where we're going, and I'll bring a loaded gun just in case. How does that sound?" Secretly, L thought that even if Kira took control, he wouldn't need to use the gun. The teen was already so weak, it wouldn't take much for L to subdue him. I won't use the gun yet, L thought. It won't come to that.

"W-what if Kira takes over? He could kill you, L."

"Thus the gun."

Light fell silent. He seemed to understand. "Oh."

L rolled his eyes, reaching into his back pocket and retrieving his cell phone. He dialed Watari's number and murmured, "That thing I requested? Deliver it to the appointed place." He waited for Watari's word of affirmation, then hung up without another word. "Come on," he urged Light. "We should go."

†††

L pushed open the door to the rooftop, helping Light up the final step and under the small overhang that gave way to a wide open area.

Light frowned, eyes cast towards the sky. "It's raining," he noted.

Indeed it was. Rain fell from the sky at a steady rate, not quite enough to be considered a downpour. The entire rooftop was already soaked in the stuff, save for the small patch of dryness beneath the overhang the two geniuses stood under. L frowned, eyes raking the saturated stone that made up the roof. It wasn't quite what he was expecting, but it would serve his purpose. "Do you care about getting wet?"

Light shook his head wordlessly, though his expression was one of bewilderment.

L propped his lover against the wall, then moved to the other end of the overhang. There was a large blue and white ice chest there, no doubt left by Watari per L's instruction. The detective grabbed the handle of the thing and toted it out into the rain, not even noticing as water slowly soaked into his clothing and hair. It was cool outside, he noted. Not quite cold, not quite warm—the temperature lingered in the median, lukewarm at best. The smell of wet pavement filled the air, and the dull fizz of rain striking the rooftop engulfed L's ears pleasantly. He'd always loved the rain.

Light was yelling something over the rain. L frowned, turning to face him. He couldn't quite hear the teen. He raised a hand to his ear, shaking his head slightly.

The teen looked exasperated. He called out again, but still L could hear nothing. He cupped his ear once again, smiling slightly as he saw the irritated look on his lover's face. Light pushed himself away from the wall with some difficulty, beginning to make his way over to L. The detective watched closely for any sign that he would fall, ready to dart forward and support him at any moment—but to his relief, Light seemed at least mostly steady on his feet as he walked out into the downpour.

"Why are we out here?" he demanded, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the rain. "What's the big idea?"

L sank into his usual crouch, motioning for Light to sit across from him. He pulled the ice chest so it sat beside them. "Sit with me."

Frowning, Light sat atop the soaked roof. His pajamas—which just so happened to be a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt—were almost instantly soaked through. His hair was plastered to his head in seconds.

L wordlessly opened the ice chest. He dug around inside for a moment, then withdrew two cans, handing one to Light. The teen hadn't been able to keep much of anything down recently, but L had a feeling that this night would be different. The feeling wasn't backed up by any evidence or scientific data. It was just that—a feeling.

The teen raised a brow curiously. "L?"

The detective popped the tab on his can, drinking deeply before speaking. "What? What's wrong?"

"I don't think it's the best idea for someone possessed by Kira to drink anything of this nature. Lowering my inhibitions isn't exactly the best thing to do in this situation, don't you agree?"

"No, it's probably not."

Light eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer. Then, slowly, he opened his can and took a small sip. "I didn't think you were one to consume alcohol, L, especially not this of all things."

L shrugged, drinking once again. "What, did you think that I got through life on nothing but sugar and coffee? Even the best of us are prone to the desire to drink once and while, Light. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with beer. What did you think I'd drink?"

Light shrugged. "Oh, I don't know… a wine cooler, maybe? It'd have to be something sweet… a girl drink."

"Normally you'd be right—I find myself drawn to girl drinks, as you call them. But for once, I am not in the mood for something sweet." Water was dripping down his face, creating streaks that were not so different from the residue left from tears.

Light took another small sip. He was still tense. "Why did you drag me out here? It's not a good idea to take me somewhere without one of the successors, you know. What if Kira—?"

L cut him off sharply. "Let's not talk about Kira."

"What? Why n—?"

"Light…just drop it. We're going to sit here and drink, and when you've consumed enough then you're going to tell me what's wrong."

He blinked, setting his can on the rooftop beside him. "What do you mean?"

L drew in another mouthful of alcohol. He hadn't consumed anything like this for years, at least, and he was sure it wasn't going to take much to incapacitate him. But he knew that the same could be said of Light—that's what he was counting on. "What do you think, Light? You've been distant at best since we got you back."

Light's eyes flashed dangerously. "Just what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you know…you haven't been speaking much, and every time I try to touch you, you flinch away."

"And you thought the best way to ask me what was wrong would be to drag me up to the roof, in the rain, and force alcohol down my throat?"

L stared at his lover blankly. "It…it sounded good in my head."

Light's lip curled up in a snarl. "You moron. Just what the hell were you thinking?"

The detective flinched, taken aback by Light's sudden anger. Had he really offended him so greatly? "I apologize, but you've seemed distant lately, and I didn't know how to bring it up."

The teen's eyes narrowed, and L knew he'd said the wrong thing. "Distant?" Light echoed furiously. "I'll tell you what, Ryuzaki. Why don't you spend a grand total of twelve days with Beyond, being constantly tortured with no way of knowing if you'll ever see the ones you love again?"

L recoiled at the use of his pseudonym.

"And then, after that, why don't you try learning that you are the mass murderer that you've been trying to catch for upwards of a year? Why don't you gain another personality and try running from him endlessly, night after night, in a nightmare that never ends? Perhaps you should try lying helplessly in bed, a headache splitting your skull open, and being forced to watch the only people you really care about try to help you with absolutely no way of doing so. After you've been through that, after you've seen hell… then you can talk to me about being distant."

…This wasn't going at all how he'd planned. L raised the can to his lips, and this time he didn't pull it away until it was over half empty. Light, on the other hand, had yet to take more than two sips. "Light," he sighed. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn't find the words. Instead, all he felt was a pit of irritation deep in his stomach. No, he thought. I can't take it out on him. But all of his frustration was building within him, spurred on by Light's outburst. All of his anger, all of that buildup from the past two weeks of watching Light waste away, was bubbling in his throat, begging to spew forth venomous words. Saying what he felt wasn't going to do him any good; taking it out on Light would gain him nothing—but despite knowing that, he still opened his mouth and hissed, "How do you think it feels when you beg me to kill you?"

Light blinked, anger momentarily forgotten. "W-what?"

"Perhaps when you've been forced to endure the sound of your own lover begging you for death, then you can understand." No, stop! L thought desperately. You're just making things worse—you can't compare your experiences to his! Just ignore your anger, like you've always done! Swallow that vile emotion and don't let it come back up! "How do you think it feels to know that you're utterly useless to help the only person you love? How do you think it feels to sit here and watch you die? The least you could do is act like you value your own life, you… you bastard! But all you've done is lie in bed and beg me to kill you. You haven't even attempted to come up with a solution to all of this. You've already thrown in the towel. You've already decided you've lost, and it's infuriating! What happened to the Light Yagami that wouldn't stop trying until he reached a solution? What happened to the Light that wouldn't accept defeat, no matter what was thrown his way? What happened to the Light that wanted to live?" The instant the words left his mouth, L wanted to take them back. Oh god, now I've done it…he'll hate me for this!

The teen looked outraged for a heartbeat, and L was half convinced that he was going to start throwing punches. But then he seemed to deflate, just as swiftly as he'd become enraged, and he picked up his can once again to sip from it. His cheeks were slightly red from the cool air. "You want to know what happened?" he muttered. "I lost my memories. That Light you knew, that version of myself… it was Kira. The one you're asking about is Kira."

L winced, but didn't allow regret to show on his face. "Even if that's the case, you could at least act like you care about staying alive," he growled.

Light didn't respond for a long moment. He was drinking more now, and L was struck by the somewhat amusing realization that he would most likely finish his first can before L himself, despite his initial reluctance. "I guess we're both terrible human beings," Light said at last. "We've been pretty shitty to each other recently, at least where the sharing of emotions is involved."

"Emotions," L muttered, anger beginning to die down. "So troublesome, don't you think? We wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for those terrible emotions. What would it have been like, I wonder? What would have happened without them? Would we still have ended up on this rooftop on this rainy day?" L heard a can crunch, and a heartbeat later Light was throwing away the empty container. L wordlessly handed him another, and before the teen paused to speak he'd already downed half the can.

"As troublesome as emotions are, they're necessary, don't you think?" Light let out a deep sigh, leaning slightly forward. All his anger had vanished, to L's surprise. He'd expected a few more harsh words, at least. The teen's legs were crossed in front of him now, one elbow leaning on his knee. "How was it you described me? Distant?"

"Ah, yes… perhaps I was a bit harsh. What I meant to say was that ever since you were rescued, you've been growing more and more weary of touch. What's more, with this whole Kira thing going on, you're not awake too much, so we don't have the opportunity to exchange words about such matters. And the longer it goes on, the more problems go unstated, and the worse it gets."

The teen nodded shortly. "It sucks." Light hiccuped, and L realized that the alcohol was already working on him. He wasn't surprised—the teen had probably never consumed alcohol before, being the law abiding citizen that he was. "So what are we supposed to do about it?" He winced, and a heartbeat later he was rubbing at his temples. His headache must be returning.

"I was hoping that you would talk to me if I got you drunk."

Light laughed bitterly, downing the rest of his second can. "So I've heard, L. You could have just asked me. It's insulting that you'd try something like this."

"I'm sorry, and…I'm asking you now." L finished off the rest of his drink and reached for another.

"What is it that you want to know?"

"Why… why are you so resistant to me? Why aren't you getting better? I thought that after a while you'd begin to recover from your trauma… but it's just getting worse."

He laughed again. "Look, L…I've already told you. What Beyond did to me…it's something no human being should have to experience."

"I know…" L murmured. "And I want to help you. So please, tell me."

Light shook his head. "There's really nothing I haven't told you, I swear. You already know everything there is to know—and besides that, you saw the warehouse. You saw that huge tank, the knives, the blowtorch, the loose wires. And you saw what he did to my back."

L shuddered as he pictured those inflamed wounds.

"That's all there is. I promise. I'm hiding nothing."

L knew he was lying. There was something else, he knew. Something Light wasn't telling him. "There must be something more. If there isn't, then why are you getting worse?"

"I'm not getting worse," Light defended himself.

"Light… you haven't let me kiss you in days. You barely allow me to hold you anymore."

The teen raised his chin. "Then kiss me."

For a moment, L was almost tempted. But then he shook his head slowly, leaning away. "No, Light. I don't want to do that when you don't really want me to. Don't think I can't see how afraid you are."

The teen winced. He threw his second can to the side, and a heartbeat later he was sipping on a third. He shook his head harshly, and droplets of water sprayed everywhere. His cheeks were flushed, and L didn't think it was just from the rain.

"Sorry," Light muttered, noticing L's stare. "I don't have much of a tolerance for these things."

"There's no need to apologize. I wanted you to be intoxicated, remember?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, you told me." He took another sip. For several minutes longer there was a deep silence, in which Light got through the entirety of his third can and most of the way through the forth before setting it aside with a sigh. He slowly untangled himself and reclined onto his back, crossing his arms beneath his head. His front was turned skyward, taking the full heat of the pouring rain, but he didn't seem to care. His eyes slipped closed for a moment as he basked in the coolness of the rain. "L?" he murmured, his voice barely audible over the din.

"Yes, Light?"

"Do you want to know the truth?"

L blinked, surprised. He was just going to tell him, after all this fighting to get it out of him? "Yes, I would very much like that."

A small, bitter smile spread across Light's face. "Kira is in my head."

"Ah… yes, I know that."

"No, you don't understand. He's in my head, L. He's always waiting, just when I go to sleep… waiting in a silver world."

This was the second time Light had mentioned a silver world. What was it supposed to mean?

"There's this place, L… I'm not quite sure what it's supposed to be. The shinigami said it was a dream, but it no doubt holds much more significance than that. But that doesn't really matter anymore, does it? He brings me there, every time I fall asleep. He pulls me into that silvery world, and tries to take over. He's completely red, as if he's been bathed in the blood of those he's slaughtered. And that red just keeps spreading, and spreading, washing over everything it comes into contact with. And once there's no silver left, once there's nothing but red… it'll be over. I will be Kira once again."

L's eyes widened. "That… that's why you've been having so many nightmares? That's what you meant when you said, there's so much red?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Kira… he managed to touch me. He managed to stain me with that horrific crimson hue. Which means… I'm already partially under his control. There are things, L. Things that I haven't told you because he won't let me."

"What kind of things?"

"Things like—" Light cut himself off suddenly as a pained whimper was drawn from his throat. His expression twisted painfully. "Sorry…I told you, he won't let me tell you."

L finished off his third can and tossed it aside carelessly. Secretly, it terrified him that Kira already had enough control to prevent Light from telling him something.

"It's important," Light murmured. He yawned, stretching out further. "It's… it's really important. But I can't…can't say anything about it. Every time I try, he just hurts me."

"Your headache?" L questioned. "Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah, something like that…" Light yawned again. "I told you, L, he's gaining ground. There's not much time left. He's backing me into a corner, I can feel it. And every moment I'm asleep, it just gets worse and worse. Can't you understand that?"

"No, I can't. Not if it means that you'll expect me to kill you."

The teen shook his head with a sigh. "Yeah, I know. But I can't stop saying it, no matter how much I know it hurts you. I'm sorry, L. I really am. But with all due respect, you have no idea what this is like. You're not the one with a god in your head."

L edged over to his lover's side, reaching down and pressing his fingertips lightly to his chest. He nearly sighed in relief as he saw how Light didn't flinch away from his touch. "Thank you for telling me the truth, Light. At least, as much of it as you can manage."

He nodded slightly. "I think I can manage one more truth, if you want to hear it. There's one last thing I haven't told you."

Nodding, L murmured, "Tell me."

Light hesitated for a long moment. He crossed his ankles, uncrossed and re-crossed his arms beneath his head. His eyes flickered from L's face to the sky just beyond. "I thought you should know… I mean, I had some good advice from that shinigami, and…"

L remembered suddenly that Light had mentioned a shinigami earlier in their conversation. "What shinigami?" he asked. "Did a god of death appear to you?"

"Oh," Light murmured. "Yeah, I forgot to tell you."

That's quite a big detail to forget to tell me, Light, L thought.

"I have Rem's notebook. She showed up, we had a talk, I sent her away. But that's not the shinigami I was referring to. There's another one, a young boy. He looks human. He's been showing up in my head for a while now, and… and I think he saved my life when I was ill. But Rem told me that the child was evil, and so now I'm just not sure what's going on. I don't know who to trust."

L's eyes narrowed. "What does your instinct tell you?"

The teen shrugged. "I don't know. I would be willing to trust Rem if not for the fact that I really don't think the child is evil. Something's just… wrong. Something's wrong with this whole situation. And on top of everything, there were these two rules in the Death Note that I had one of the shinigami write in. They weren't real; they were meant to throw you off the investigation. But they aren't there anymore. That child shinigami erased them, and I don't know why. It's stuff like that… the little things, you might say, that make me doubt the child's intentions."

L didn't have a response for that. "Well…" he trailed off, at a loss for words.

Light's slightly glazed eyes locked onto him, and a small smile played across his features. He laughed.

"What's so funny?" L asked softly.

"Oh…" the teen chuckled. "It's just that… well, you said you didn't want to talk about Kira, and look what we've been discussing this whole time."

L found a flicker of amusement in that little fact. "Yes, it seems that we have veered a little off topic."

"We were never on topic to begin with," Light muttered. "We just ended up fighting. It's kind of a depressing way to spend what could be one of our last nights together."

"Agreed," L responded. "I… I am sorry for what I said. I'm quite frustrated, you understand. I find myself unable to accept the possibility that I'll be forced to kill you."

"And I'm sorry as well," Light whispered. The rain was so loud that it was almost impossible to hear him. "I would stop asking you to kill me if I could, but you understand why I cannot. And though it may not seem like it, I do value my own life. I don't really… I don't really want to die." He seemed to be forcing himself to speak the words. "I want to live, I want to stay with you. But it's just not possible." He looked away. "I told Matt all about it, but I wasn't going to tell you. I thought it would be easier if… if you thought I really wanted to die."

"Don't worry about it—I was never convinced that you wanted to die, anyways."

Light shrugged. "I guess I'm a terrible liar when Kira's not helping." The teen's eyes locked on L through a curtain of soaked hair, and a heartbeat later he was raising one hand to caress the detective's jaw. "It will be soon, L."

L knew immediately what he was talking about. "No, Light."

A strange look filled the teen's eyes. He pulled L down, hooking an arm around the back of his neck to hold him close, speaking in a hushed tone into his saturated locks. "It…it'll be lonely, won't it?"

L tried to pull away, to look Light in the eyes—but his grip was unusually strong, or perhaps he was unusually weak. "What do you mean?" he whispered. "What is it?"

"It's just…" he broke off, and L realized with horror that some of the liquid dampening his flesh was warm—Light was crying. "You and I…we'll be parting ways soon."

L drew breath sharply. "No, don't say that…don't remind me of such things."

The teen shook his head, brushing his hair across L's throat. "I'm sorry."

L succeeded in drawing away. But when he did, there was no sign of the tears he was certain had been present moments before. Perhaps the rain had washed them away, or perhaps he'd just imagined the brief warmth. In fact, Light showed no sign of having spoken the words that had just left his lips. He yawned, expression completely composed once more, eyes slipping closed for just a moment. L was reminded that it was quite late, and that the consumption of alcohol probably wasn't helping Light stay awake. L himself was feeling a bit tired; his head was buzzing pleasantly, but not quite enough to impair his reasoning. But despite Light's obvious exhaustion and his own, slightly intoxicated state, he didn't want to leave just yet. He pulled Light close, grateful when the teen didn't pull away. Then he lowered himself down slowly, lying on his back and staring up into the night sky. The stars weren't out—they were covered by rainclouds—but the sky was still beautiful. He kept his eyes locked on those clouds for what felt like hours. He watched how they moved, how they flitted around each other, and marveled at their impermanence. Nothing ever stayed the same for long, L thought. Everything was in a constant state of change, spinning and contorting with every passing minute. Sometimes those contortions didn't quite fall into place. Sometimes they made the entire sky seem dark and lifeless, and completely without hope. But sometimes, those contortions, those fluctuating movements, fell into just the right alignment, and for a moment L was permitted to gaze upon the moon. That beautiful crescent moon. Just like Light's name, L thought in amusement. If one hadn't heard it pronounced first, one might have called him Moon Yagami… L's eyes found Light for a moment, and he thought that perhaps the teen was very similar to the moon. His flesh was just as pale, his entire being just as captivating. But just like the moon, Light was fading, waning. How many days did he have until the new moon? How many days until Light's beauty was eclipsed by Kira's evil?

Light shifted beside him, and L realized that he was shaking slightly, presumably from the cold. "We should go in," the detective whispered. "We're soaked, and you look like you're about to fall asleep." When he received no answer from his lover, L scooped his arms beneath him and lifted him up.

Light shifted suddenly. "L, wait…"

"Yes? What is it?"

"I…" He broke off to yawn. "I never told you that last secret."

"Then tell me," L murmured. He was crossing the roof slowly, almost at the overhang. "We don't have long before we're back under the watchful eye of the successors."

Light buried his face in L's shirt, his breath hot against the detective's skin. "Do you really want to know?"

L paused, having reached the overhang. "Are you so determined to tease me, my Light?" He rested his hand on the doorknob, not moving to open it quite yet. He pressed his chin into the teen's soaked hair affectionately. "Yes, I want to know."

Light tilted his head upwards, pressing his lips lightly to L's neck. "L," he murmured, lips brushing the detective's flesh as he spoke. "I…I am at least ninety percent sure that I am in love with you."

A rush of warmth filled L's chest. He could hardly describe the swell of emotion building within him, could hardly comprehend its strength. "Light…" he whispered, barely able to speak through the grin stretched across his face. "I think you mean to say that you are one hundred percent sure that you are in love with me."

L could practically feel the blush spreading across Light's face as he murmured, "Yes."

Unable to conceal a smirk, L dipped his head and captured Light's lips with his own. For just a heartbeat he felt Light tense beneath him. But then he relaxed, and though L felt his obvious acceptance, he didn't push the kiss any further than a gentle press of lips. No matter how accepting Light seemed, L knew that he was not ready. He was not yet prepared to cast off the shadows of Beyond's actions, not prepared to go any further than this.

"I love you," Light repeated softly, as if now that he'd said it, he didn't quite know how to stop. "I love you, L…I don't want to leave you."

"I know," L responded in a hushed whisper. "And I promise you, as I've promised a hundred times before, that I am going to do anything in my power to stop Kira from winning, to stop you from leaving me. No matter what."

"No matter what…" Light echoed drowsily. "…That sounds good."

L cradled the teen closer to his chest as his eyes slipped closed and stayed that way. With one last press of lips to Light's forehead, he pushed open the door and headed inside.

†††

My whole body jolted as I lurched into a sitting position, drawing breath in a ragged gasp. My eyes raked the world around me, and it took me a long moment to realize just where I was—in the silver world. I remembered most of my conversation with L up on the roof, though much of it was slightly fuzzy. I….I'd told L that I loved him. I'd finally said it, after all this time of waiting, of making sure that was really how I felt. I wasn't like L. I couldn't just say something like that like he had back when he'd rescued me. I had to be sure. I had to take a step back and think about my situation seriously, think about whether or not I should tell L something that would make it all the more painful when I was gone.

I pushed myself to my feet unsteadily, looking around. I'd been running across this rocky cliff for the past four nights with no sign of its end. But for some reason, I hadn't seen the red sea in those four nights even once. It was as if it had simply…vanished. The only sign I had of Kira's advancement into my mind was the series of ever growing headaches that plagued me during the day. Also in those four nights, Kira's voice had gone silent. I heard only light murmurs from some unidentifiable source. Though secretly, I thought that perhaps that voice was that of the child shinigami. Ever since Rem's warning, the child hadn't appeared to me. I hadn't had the chance to ask him why he'd erased those rules.

I began trudging across the silver rocks, shooting a glance behind me. Sill, there was no red in sight save for the splatters of the stuff on my own body.

Keep going, a voice whispered, a voice that I thought could have been the child shinigami. You're almost there.

I looked to the horizon. My eyes widened as I realized that after so long running endlessly across this rocky place, I could see the end. There was what appeared to be a rather large cliff fast approaching. At last, I thought. Perhaps I'll be able to get off these rocks… my feet are starting to hurt, and there's not much to look at. But at least there's not any of that red water up here. Maybe this is the safest place I can be.

Don't be deceived, that voice whispered again. Don't let him trick you…

"What does that mean?" I asked aloud. But of course, I received no answer. I continued to move towards that cliff, towards that rocky crest. I drew closer and closer to it with every step, and before I knew it, I was almost at the edge. But…something was wrong. I frowned, noticing a dull red gleam emanating from the area on the other side of the cliff. No, that couldn't be…I had to be imagining it, right? There couldn't possibly be any red on that side of the cliff; the sea was supposed to be behind me! But as I got closer and closer, it became more and more obvious that I was wrong. There was a definite red glow coming from beneath that cliff. I felt my heart drop further and further into my stomach as I approached.

I was on the edge of the cliff now, standing barely a foot from the edge. I cast my gaze out over the cliff, and…

It…it wasn't possible.

The red…it was everywhere! That crimson water had completely filled up the other side of the cliff. It was a vast ocean, completely unbroken by anything other than that scarlet substance. There were no ripples, no movement at all. It looked not so much like water, but like glass. I glanced down and saw that the water was about twenty feet from the top of the cliff. Thankfully, it didn't seem to be moving.

I felt a light breeze flow past me. It wasn't much, but it chilled me to the bone—up here, so high above where I'd started, it was freezing. In fact, those tiny flakes of snow were still falling, though there was hardly enough of the stuff to form a light crusting of ice. Then that breeze was taking form, howling violently at my back, and I knew immediately what was happening. I turned, slowly, and was met with the sight of Kira. There were no footprints leading across the rocks. He'd simply…appeared. He was just as I'd seen him time and time again… exactly like me in every way, but made of candy red instead of silvery blue.

"Oh, Light," he sighed. "You're not looking too good. Are you okay?"

I snarled, taking a step back. But I realized with horror that I was at the edge of the cliff. A few more steps, and I would fall into the red water. Kira inched forward teasingly. How, I wondered, is he taller than me when we're using the same body?

His eyes enveloped mine, entrancing me. "So foolish," he whispered. His lips barely moved, but his voice was terribly loud nonetheless. "You've run all this way, and suddenly I have you cornered. How unfortunate."

I inched backwards as he inched forwards. I was painfully aware of how easily he could reach out and touch me.

His fingers reached out in slow motion. A moment later his fingertips barely brushed the discolored section of my chest. I found myself frozen for a mere heartbeat, frozen in some sort of twisted fear of what he could do to me. But a moment later I heard that voice again.

Fight! What are you doing? You'll be consumed if you just sit there!

The words shook me from my stupor. Kira had yet to touch any part of me that wasn't already corrupted, and I had to keep it that way. My eyes flitted from side to side, and I saw that I had very little room to run to either side—if I moved in any direction but directly forward, there was a strong possibility I'd lose my footing and plunge to the scarlet water below. What am I supposed to do? I thought desperately.

You already know what you must do.

For just a heartbeat, I hesitated. But I knew the voice was right—if I wanted to escape, the only way to go was forward. And so I let all thought flee my mind as not to realize how crazy I was for even thinking of attempting what I was about to do, and I forced my legs to move. In one swift movement I launched myself at Kira. It might have been suicide. It might have assured my death. But I had to do it, I knew. If I didn't, then he would push me into the water, and then it really would be over. I would be lost to the evil of Kira.

Kira screeched as I bowled him over, obviously not having expected the bold move. I knew that time was precious. With every moment I was making contact with Kira, the red was spreading further and further across my form. I immediately struggled to draw away and begin running—but Kira had long since regained his composure, and in a single moment he flipped the both of so I was beneath him and curled his fingers around my throat. I felt the scarlet hue creeping across my form like a disease. Everywhere he touched was turning crimson, and to make things worth, his harsh fingers were cutting off my supply of oxygen. I barely had the strength to fight him in the first place, but this…

Is this the end?

Kira snarled, drawing me just slightly up so he could slam me back against the ground. It reminded me of how Beyond had crushed me against the wall, time and time again, before I suddenly lost consciousness. I can't let that happen this time! I thought, barely able to retain awareness. This…this is too important!

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Kira spat. "Having your form corrupted, your mind stolen from you? I would know. It's exactly what you did to me when you gave up the notebook!"

I couldn't breathe. My lungs were aching, body going into throes.

"Poor Light Yagami, always fighting, never gaining any ground. You'll die like this. Here."

I believed him. That horrid color was swimming across my form at a blinding speed, and as it did, I felt the landscape around me redden. Not because of the water, no—but because that color had bled into my eyes, and I could see nothing but crimson. I really, truly believed that I was going to die. But then I felt a small point of warmth appear on my shoulder. I frowned. The warmth was growing steadily, beginning to return the feeling to one shoulder. What was it…?

Then I heard it.

"You're going to get through this, Light…"

"L!" I gasped out, barely hearing his voice through the storm of snow that was steadily beginning to pick up. The ground was blanketed in silvery red, and I had no idea when it'd happened. "L!"

The hold on my throat suddenly went lax, and I collapsed into the icy flakes. Kira's weight was gone a moment later. My cheek pressed against the snow-packed ground, and I felt my whole body shaking as I fought to locate the monster, who had left my field of vision. God, I was cold…when had the temperature dropped so low? I tried to pull myself to my feet and begin running, but a sharp blow to my stomach kept me dazed so that I didn't have the ability to move. Kira…he'd kicked me. A moment later I felt that kick again, and again…I barely registered the fact that I was being beat into ruthlessly. I was already hurting so badly already—that dull, throbbing pain from before had spread out to cover most of my body, leaving but a few parts of me untouched. I was in so much pain that another dose of the stuff didn't make any difference to my shattered body.

That voice was talking again. "Did you hear that? You're going to live. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Light…"

It…it was L! I had to reach him—! I reached out a weak hand to my shoulder. That was L, I was sure, grabbing hold of me in the real world. If only I could move! A harsh kick to my chest stopped all attempts at moving. Kira knelt beside me in the snow. Flakes were dusting his colorful hair, a few stray flecks of ice grasping gently at his eyelashes. He looked beautiful like that, leaning over me, even though I knew he was quite possibly about to put an end to me. I wondered if it was vain to think someone modeled after myself looked beautiful.

"He's calling you," Kira whispered. "I can hear it just as well as you, my Light. So what are you waiting for? Aren't you going to go to him? You love him, after all. You confessed after all this time, only to go down like this." He kicked me again.

I gagged, choking as Kira knocked the air out of me yet again. I forced my limbs to move, to push me up. I had to run, I had to get to L! I didn't bother to assess the damage I'd sustained as I began staggering away from Kira at what I hoped was a swift pace. Snow whirled around me, chilling me to the bone.

"Light, come back!" Kira called mockingly. "Don't you love me anymore?"

I didn't respond. I focused on moving away from Kira, away from the red sea. But a heartbeat later I heard Kira laugh, and my entire body gave out.

"Oh no!" Kira yelled over the wind. "What could have happened, Light? Why did you collapse?"

My lips curled in a snarl. I tried to get up, tried to move—but it was useless. My eyes traveled down my battered form, and I realized that Kira had almost entirely covered my front in red. The stuff was everywhere, splattered from head to toe. My decision to attack him…it may have been suicide.

"Light," Kira growled, tone low and dangerous. "Come here."

I shook my head, still attempting to move. And then I felt my body shifting—but it wasn't obeying me. To my horror, I felt my form rise to face Kira. One step at a time, my own body was betraying me to my worst enemy.

"That's it," Kira crooned. "Just a little closer, Light…"

"No!" A voice called from the other direction. "Light, please! Come back to me!"

L! L, no! I fought with all my strength to head in the opposite direction. But Kira's words were pulling me closer and closer, and I had no way to fight him. It didn't take more than a few steps before I was standing directly before the scarlet monster. He leered down nastily.

"Oh dear," he sighed. "It looks like you've lost so much control that your own body isn't listening to you any more. Oh, how I'd like to try this out in the real world…"

"Don't you dare!" I spat, raising my chin defiantly.

He raised a brow. "Are you challenging me, Light? I don't think you're in much of a position to do that…after all, you're already so close to being consumed. All it would take would be a few more touches, one here, one there, and…" His fingertips were inches from me.

"Bastard!" I snarled. "Let me go!" L's voice was still echoing in the back of my mind, calling me to him desperately. I wondered if that voice was real, and whether or not something was happening to me in the real world to signal my distress.

"I don't think so," Kira purred. He reached out and took me by the collar, spinning us around so our positions were reversed. He began backing me up, step by step, and no matter how hard I tried to look over my shoulder, my body wouldn't obey me. "How does it feel?" he whispered. "Knowing that you're going to kill L?"

"I will not kill him," I responded in a choked tone. "If he dies, it will be because of you."

Kira shrugged. "Maybe you're right. But either way, you'll have to watch it happen. Are you prepared for that, my Light? Are you prepared to see him die beneath your knife?"

"Your knife," I corrected viciously.

Kira's eyes glinted dangerously. His grip tightened on my collar, and he shook me harshly. "You've ruined everything," he spat. "Today, in the rain…you were supposed to kill him. He's supposed to be dead!" He backed me up two more steps. The cliff had to be close. "But no matter…I will right your wrongs. It will only take a little more red." A nasty snarl spread across his features. "But I've always been a perfectionist. I just couldn't take it if I missed some of that pesky silver. So…"

He backed me up one more step. His fingers uncurled from my collar, and I was standing freely once again. "Kira?" I gasped out, stunned. "What—?"

"Don't worry," he whispered. "I'll give your regards to your darling L."

He placed the palm of his hand against my chest, and for a moment time stood still. Then he was grinning, his teeth bared nastily. I felt my world tilt, and I realized that he'd pushed me backwards.

"Kira, don't—!" I screeched, fighting to move my numbed limbs.

He didn't listen. Instead, he stepped back. A heartbeat later I felt the ground leave my feet, and I was falling. Air whistled around me loudly, adding to the roar of the story swirling atop the rocks. I looked up and saw Kira, standing on the edge of that cliff and staring down, eyes glimmering. He was grinning. I suddenly regained control of my limbs—not that it did me any good. I thrashed and struggled, but nothing could stop the inevitable.

I felt water. Water was flowing all around me, splashing into the sky with a note of finality as I sank. The stuff was in my eyes, in my nose, in my throat…and a heartbeat later I was forced to swallow to avoid drowning, and it was in my stomach. My eyes were forced wide open, and as I sank further and further from the surface, I saw red bubbles floating up around me.

Voices filled my head.

Well, that's a shame, Light, because I happen to like you.

Call an ambulance for Light Yagami.

Beyond has always left clues in his crime scenes, and they always lead to his next target.

Can I take that to mean that if I were to stay, you would be able to care for me in the same way I care for you? You wouldn't feel disgusted; you wouldn't hate me?

When I was five years old, my parents were killed in a fire.

You can keep that notebook. Light's going to need it when he comes to his senses and joins me!

You're asking me to kill you? You're asking me to choose between my duty as a detective and the affection I feel for you?

I love you. And I'm not going to let a little thing like Kira take you away from me.

Are you prepared for that, Light? Are you prepared to watch him die beneath your knife?

I love you, L…I don't want to leave you.

Those voices…all echoes of the past. I'd heard them all before. Some brought back positive images, others negative… some meant nothing. I felt my eyes closing as I sank further. I wanted to fight, I really did…but I had not the strength. The water was urging me to rest. It wanted me to forget everything, to close my eyes and never open them again. It wanted me to fade away.

It'll be lonely, won't it?

I shook my head to clear it of that lingering voice. I…I needed stop this. I needed to start swimming or I would never see L again. He…he would die, and I wouldn't be able to do anything. But I was just so tired…the water was gentle, lulling me to sleep. It was so tempting to just let it carry me away. I closed my eyes as darkness edged my vision. The water was like a caress, holding me close. A yawn escaped me, and red water surged into my mouth. It wasn't so bad here…it was calm, and peaceful. My back struck something firm, and I realized dully that I was resting on the ocean floor.

I was fading. My world was going dark, despite my feeble attempts to stay awake.

But before I slipped away, before I let that water sweep me into oblivion, I thought I heard one last echo of a painfully familiar voice. L? I thought sleepily. Is that you? It didn't matter anymore, I knew. It was too late. But despite all that, I still heard that voice. I still registered those words, grasped at their importance even in my last moments of consciousness.

The voice whispered in my ear.

We will be parting ways soon.

I really enjoyed writing that rooftop scene. But of course, as we all know, nothing good ever comes after that scene, be it depicted in a fanfiction or in the show itself. Be sure to leave a review if you enjoyed, and I'll be back on Thursday with the next chapter! A chapter, I might add, that I am quite excited about.