A/N: Okay guys, I am back once again and I apologize for the delay! I had a lot of stuff going on outside of writing and haven't really had a chance to just sit and write until very recently! I know this chapter isn't super long but it is needed to kind of move things along and I didn't want to get into anything else before the next chapter! There's probably only like 2 or so chapters left in the story, so ENJOY!
DISCLAIMER: Nope, no matter how many times I wish upon a star these wonderful characters still don't belong to me!
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"I'm starting compressions! Where's that AED?!" Mark was already over Natasha, his hands pressed firmly against her chest as he began to force her heart to pump. The pop of her ribs breaking sounded impossibly loud in Clint's ears.
Medics swarmed around Natasha and it took all of Clint's restraint not to try and get in there, to help his partner. He knew there was nothing he could do for her right now, the medics were doing everything they could and he would only be in the way. So instead he was forced to watch as air was forcefully pushed through her lungs and pads were attached to her chest while another medic began pumping her chest. The worst part though, was when her body jumped from the shock of the AED; watching her limbs flail for that split second and knowing she was quickly slipping from the world of the living.
Finally, after two shocks and more rounds of compressions than he could count Mark called the medics off. Natasha was still pale but Clint could just make out the faint rise and fall of her chest. She was alive. He raked a hand through his hair, letting out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Unable to simply sit any longer he found himself pacing back and forth as he tried to forget what her body looked like as she nearly died right in front of him. That was one image he would never be able to get out of his head for the rest of his life. Tony was still sitting but his foot was tapping quickly and he was chewing at his bottom lip. While he may not be displaying his stress and worry the same as Clint it was still there. Steve was brooding as he leaned against the jet's wall, his eyes fixed on Natasha. They were all worried about her.
The flight to the Hellicarrier felt like hours when Clint knew it was a mere five minutes. Four minutes and twenty-seven seconds to be exact and he was exact because he counted every single second. However, when the quinjet did finally dock on the Hellicarrier everything seemed to start moving too fast again. Natasha was hauled away before he had a chance to say anything about it and the moment he moved to follow her a booming voice stopped him in his tracks, "Agent Barton you need to debrief immediately in the conference room."
Clint didn't turn around, his fists clenched at his side, "No, I need to be with my partner until I know she isn't going to die. Then I will debrief with you, Director."
Director Fury, never one to take no for an answer, paused for a moment before his voice carried across the hall once again, "Agent Barton if you do not come with me right now I will have you isolated for the next three days without any news about Agent Romanoff's condition. If you choose to come with me then I will be sure to have a medic inform us of any changes in her condition right away."
Clint watched as Natasha disappeared from view, double doors swinging shut behind her. He clenched his jaw but turned and followed Fury away from his partner. Tony was slower to follow, his eyes still glued to the doors Natasha was taken through. Steve, being the good soldier he was, followed Fury after one last glance toward the infirmary. None of them were overly happy about leaving one of their team members behind but they also understood that the faster they got this over with the sooner they could be back beside Natasha.
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Inside the conference room Clint found it extremely difficult to just sit and listen to Steve and Tony give a rundown of everything they had done with Natasha since the moment they left the Hellicarrier. He didn't really know why he had to sit in here and listen to things he really could care less about. He wanted to leave this damn room and make sure his partner didn't die when he wasn't looking.
Clint's head perked up as the door opened and a medic hurried toward the Director. Tony stopped speaking mid-sentence and watched as the medic whispered something frantically to Fury. The look on the medic's face made Clint's stomach drop. That wasn't the face of hope or how someone looked when delivering good news. That was the kind of face that meant something had gone wrong, very wrong. Part of Clint wished he could just rewind everything back to when Natasha first arrived in Beijing. He would pull them out of there before anything bad could happen to either of them. Before she was dying on a quinjet and he was powerless to help her.
Director Fury waved the medic away and turned his face to the three men sitting around him. Again, that look that made Clint want to redo the whole mission, "Agent Romanoff is out of surgery now. She crashed twice during the operation and is in a coma. They don't know when or if she will wake up. We can continue the rest of this discussion later. You are dismissed."
Clint was up and moving to the door before Fury even finished speaking. He could care less if Fury wasn't actually giving him permission to leave. He was done waiting around to see his partner. Tony and Steve were close behind him, neither one willing to hang around when they could go check in on Natasha. She was part of the Avengers and being an Avenger meant they were a team. One of their people was in a bad spot and even though there was nothing they could do for her they could at least be there if…when she woke up. She wasn't going to be alone.
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Natasha's hospital room was sterile and held a cold feeling. Natasha was on the bed, her skin almost as white as the sheets while her hair looked like blood spread over the pillow. She had a tube in her throat and more tubes and machines hooked up to her than he thought possible for one human being. Her chest rose steadily but he knew that wasn't all her. Most of that breathing was from the tube shoved down her throat. Along with the tubes there were bandages over her arms and a few on her face. She looked so broken and small in that bed, barely holding on to life.
Clint nearly fell to his knees, all strength leaving his body upon seeing her like this. Natasha was strong and she was supposed to be indestructible. Nothing could touch her. Nothing was supposed to touch her because he was supposed to have her back. He was supposed to watch her back and keep people from hurting her. He failed her. He cursed inwardly and fell into the chair beside her bed, unable to control his emotions. He had to blink back hot tears, refusing to let himself cry in front of Tony and Steve. Natasha was the only person who had seen him cry since his was a kid. He was not adding two more people to that list. So he swallowed it all down and simply watched Natasha's chest rise and fall. He listened to the beeping of her heart monitor, knowing both were the only way he knew she was still alive and with them.
"Tasha…" his voice broke slightly as he let her name slip past his lips in a soft whisper.
A hand rested on his shoulder and he glanced up to see Tony standing over him. While Tony could be an ass and the most annoying person on the planet in that moment Clint could tell they were on the same wavelength for the first time in…well probably forever. Steve was in the corner, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He was still in his gear from the rescue. Clint was as well and while he could feel all the grime and dirt he didn't care. He placed one of his hands over Natasha's still one, being careful not to move any of the tubes or needles there. Her fingers felt cold under his and she didn't even react to his touch.
Tony gave his shoulder a short squeeze before releasing it and moving to the foot of Natasha's bed. He grabbed the folder containing Natasha's medical charts and began to skim through them. They knew that if Natasha was awake right now she would murder him for even considering looking at her charts but no one stopped him. He made a small noise and Clint watched his brow furrow as he flipped through the last of the pages, "Looks like the blade sliced into her small intestine. They managed to repair it in surgery. She had another wound to her right side that somehow managed to miss anything vital but was still wreaking havoc on her system. She should have been in surgery the moment she came back from Beijing. What the hell was she thinking?"
Clint sighed and once again the guilt threatened to overwhelm him because he knew exactly why Natasha didn't let anyone look her over close enough to recommend surgery, "She was thinking about me. Just like I would have been thinking about her in that situation. I know I would never let a medic close enough to see the real injuries if she was still out there, going through god knows what. It's how we work, how we've always worked. No rest until we're both home."
"It's not your fault, you know. There was no stopping her when she found out you were in danger," Steve said from the corner, looking Clint in the eye, "She's loyal to a fault and you're her partner, there was no keeping her here."
"Still, someone should have tried to keep her here at least. Sedated her or something," Clint said, the anger in his voice directed at no one in particular. He knew Natasha and he knew there was nothing that could have kept her here, sedated or not. But he couldn't help trying to find excuses, ways she could have remained safe.
"Fury threatened to sedate her but she was gone before he could do anything about it. She's stubborn and when he told her she wasn't going on the rescue mission she took off. I'm surprised he didn't see it coming," Tony said, falling into a chair on the opposite side of Natasha's bed from Clint.
Clint frowned, "There's no way he didn't assume Natasha would ignore his orders. He probably knew she had a better chance locating me than anyone else here so he let her do what she wanted. Dammit! She could have been killed."
"So could you if she didn't come looking for you. There weren't any good choices."
"He could have just let me die."
"That was not an option, Agent Barton," Fury's voice at the door made Clint jump.
He turned a dark glare on the Director, "What does that mean?! You'd rather us be in this situation, with Natasha on the brink of death? This," he pointed at Natasha's still form, "could have been avoided!"
"If I sedated Agent Romanoff and she woke to learn you were dead the situation would not have been much different. You two are the same Agent Barton. If she was killed by Nutian and his men, what would you have done?"
"Hunted them all down and killed them."
"Exactly. Agent Romanoff would have done the exact same thing if you were killed by Vargas. She would still be lost to us and I would be down not just one but two Avengers. That was not something I could willingly risk happening."
"So you let her go after me injured and now you could still lose both us. Because do not believe for one second I will stay here if she dies. Her blood is on your hands now. You chose to let her take an unnecessary risk, anything that happens to her now is on you."
Fury's gaze turned dark, "I know that, Agent Barton. But sometimes tough choices must be made and unfortunately I am the one who must make them. I believe I did what was needed to have the better chance of a positive outcome. Any other scenario guaranteed I lost both of you. This was the only option that had even the tiniest possibility of complete success."
Clint said nothing, simply turned back to Natasha and watched her breathing once more.
It was Steve, to Clint's surprise, who spoke up next, "You shouldn't have taken such risks. Stark and I could have handled the rescue mission on our own. Natasha was not needed."
Fury didn't say anything for a moment and Clint thought he left. When he did finally answer, his voice was calm, "If she wasn't needed then why did you bring her along with you? You could have easily left her behind and handled this."
Now it was Tony's turn to pipe up, "You know just leaving her at the Tower wouldn't stop her from following us. She would have ended up in worse danger without anyone there to back her up. At least with us we knew she wasn't going it alone."
"Which is exactly why I allowed you to take a quinjet without permission and go to her. I knew she called you to help her retrieve Agent Barton. I also knew if I stopped you she still would have found a way to track Agent Barton down and then she would go after him alone, without a quinjet I could track."
No one said anything to that and after another moment Fury sighed, "I didn't come here to argue with you any of you. I came to inform you that all of Nutian and Vargas' men who survived have been taken into custody, including the one who tortured Agent Romanoff. They will all be transferred into Government hands within the next two hours and from there to maximum security prisons in their respective countries. None of them are going to see the light of day again."
With that, Fury turned on his heel and left them all in silence.
And there you have it! As always, reviews are loved and I can't wait to hear from ya'll!
Until next time,
Luna