Before.

Julia sat on the kitchen counter, legs spread, head nuzzled against Negan's arched shoulder blade as he stood up against her, boxers and jeans down around his ankles, as he held onto her hips and thrusted away. It was late, and both had met up a little after midnight when Negan couldn't sleep. He came downstairs for a nice cold beer, glancing into the living room where Lucille was fast asleep in her hospital bed. She was hooked up to her machines, an IV pole filling her with that dope that she was strung out on nearly all the time now. The options had run out, and Negan now had to face facts. His wife was dying. This was the end. Now he watched day after day as she shrunk into a skeleton corpse, no longer looking like the woman he had fallen in love with and carried into the honeymoon suite in his arms laughing years ago. The harsh reality was settling in, and he found himself caring less and less at work. In fact just yesterday he had screamed so badly at a group of boys who missed a touch football game by just two points. He screamed himself horse, until finally he walked away, head aching, and hands curled into fists.

He had spent a good remainder of the that evening at the local bar, not wanting to go home, not wanting to face reality, not wanting to see his wife in pain any longer. He regretted how things had started with Julia. She was a woman, and he was a man. She had comforted him when he needed it the most, and understood how horrible this had been for him. Still, there was no excuse. None whatsoever. His wife was dying, but he was cheating on her with her nurse. Night after night they would wait until she was drugged up, and fast asleep and screw for hours. Negan never got any pleasure from any of this, only the sweet release, and little break from reality that he needed.

As always once they finished he would sneak back upstairs, shower, and stand beneath the pouring shower head, eyes closed, fighting the urge to cry. Tonight they had begun having sex, and at the moment, Negan pushed inside of her, eyes closed, feeling himself close, thinking that instead of Julia, it was Lucille. His sweet, sweet Lucille. She was healthy, and wrapping her legs around him, moaning as he gritted his teeth, and kept moving inside of her. That's when he heard Julia gasp. This wasn't a gasp of pleasure, of herself finishing. Instead, this was a surprised, a terrible gasp that caused him to instantly lose his erection, and freeze. Opening his eyes, he lifted his head, and turned, looking over his shoulder. Standing in the doorway, looking like a ghost was Lucille. She had somehow gotten out of bed despite how weak she had been. She stood in her nightgown, clutching onto her IV pole which had wheels beneath it, and stared at them both screwing in the middle of the kitchen. She had circles beneath her eyes, and she stared at them, right now caught right in the middle of the act. Negan stared over his shoulder, before instantly he pulled himself out of Julia, and nearly fell pulling up his pants.

"Lucille!"

Before he completely turned, Lucille swayed, before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell with a heavy thud.

"Christ!"

Negan ran over, dropping to his knees as Julia slid off the counter and hurried over. Negan went to Lucille, gathering up her hand and feeling her wrist. Instantly he looked up at Julia. "She isn't breathing." Julia worked fast, she knelt beside Lucille, lacing her hands together over his wife's thin chest and began CPR.

"Negan, go call 911 now."

Negan stared at his wife's pale face, wanting more than anything to take back what she saw. She didn't deserve anymore pain. Not like this. He wanted to tell her how it truly meant nothing. That it was just sex. That he loved her, and couldn't do this without her. Instead, he watched as Julia counted, pressing down and counting softly before tilting her chin up, pinching her nose shut, and breathing into her mouth.

"Negan? Go!"

Julia snapped, causing Negan to break out of his trance. Getting up, he hurried to the phone, knowing very well it was too late.

Present

"Negan took the group I was traveling with. He murdered everyone, including a good man named Chris who had cared for me when my parents were killed when everything first happened. I was just a kid, a teenager...he beat Chris to death, then took me...and raped me. He raped me for months, I was held prisoner inside an old trailer. He beat me, he tied me up, and raped me over and over again. He called me his wife...he did terrible things to me, things that didn't make me want to be a woman anymore. I had...I...had never been with a man before..."

"You don't have to do this..."

Lucy shook her head, knowing if she didn't get this out she never would. There wasn't much time. Both were sitting inside Rick's house. He had plans on leaving, returning back to The Hilltop. Lucy knew the discovery of her disappearance would be known within the next few hours, and she needed to leave or hide. She had a plan, but wanted to let Rick know she wasn't a spy. She wasn't Negan's wife. In fact, she was the opposite, and intended to hurt him in the worst way possible. Rick had finished explaining everything that had been happening, starting originally just a few months ago when they had wandered into one of Negan's camps, and he watched him kill two of his friends. Lucy listened to all of the terrible things Negan had done, and wasn't the slightest bit surprised. When he finished, she began, telling him about her kidnapping, and the endless months of rape.

"He raped me until I became pregnant. If anyone tried to help me...they would get killed. I tried to escape, and finally it got to the point I knew he was completely insane.I was pregnant with twins, and...I decided I rather die than bring any children of his into this world."

"What did you do?"

"I tried killing myself. I threw myself into a rock quarry, how i survived was beyond me, but I did. Negan thought I was dead, but I was able to wander into the woods, hurt, broken ones, suffering from exposure, and nine months pregnant before I finally collapsed."

"Jesus..."

"The worst thing was, the injuries made me forget what had happened. It felt like a movie, I didn't remember who I was, how I got there, and how I ended up like this. A kind couple welcomed me into a cabin in the area, helped me deliver, and I thought I was dying. One baby was on his way out, under weight, and very unhealthy. I think this was from my injuries. I knew these babies didn't ask to be born, and I know it was my fault, but I figured if I was going to die, I would die on the cabin floor with him. The other baby, a boy was taken by the couple who tried to help me. I only saw him for a second...but I figured at least he would be given a chance. I destroyed the other baby when he passed, and turned...and I believed I was dying, not even knowing my own name. It wasn't long afterwards that a hunter, a man named Joe stumbled upon me a few days later and nursed me back to health. I buried my son, and prayed my other boy was safe. We traveled in the area, but my health wasn't the greatest. I was weak, and finally...well we came upon some men who knew my name, and claimed I had a husband."

"Negan."

Lucy nodded.

"I believed everything they said. They brought us back to the camps, and there he was. His precious piece of property returned. He fed me a bunch of bullshit about how we were in love, and married before all of this. That I went missing, and claimed it was all an accident. I believed him, but knew something was off. I saw the things he did, and slowly began to remember. He lied, and he raped me, and got me pregnant again. I remembered, but he had no idea. He left me yesterday, not saying where he was going and I escaped. He needs to be stopped...and I can't live anymore knowing I could have stopped some of this."

"What do you mean you remembered?"

"It came back slowly, little pieces here and there. Finally when it came back I remembered every single time he pinned me down, raped me, and hurt me...I'm pregnant, few months along with a baby I don't want. Pregnant because of another rape he tried to claim didn't happen...but I know. I remember everything. It's a high risk pregnancy but I needed to leave. I have zero attachment to...this thing inside of me. A monster put it here, just like he did with my other two boys. Rick, I don't love Negan. He kept me as a prisoner, and used me just to bare his children. I'm a sex slave, nothing more...nothing less. I tried escaping one, and it nearly killed me...and it should have. I...I don't want to live this life anymore. I can't have this baby, and I refuse to let him ever touch me again. I have a plan, a plan where I need your help...but I need to ask something of you."

Rick sat across from her, he leaned forward, hands together listening.

"What?"

"You have three children. I've met your eldest son...but the two upstairs, the youngest...the boy. He isn't yours...is he?"

Rick didn't say a word. Nervously bitting on her bottom lip, Lucy stared at him, eyes glistening with tears.

"I understand if you don't trust me...but I need to know. You either found him or he was brought to you. A couple perhaps?"

Rick didn't answer at first. He stared at Lucy before finally he sat back slightly.

"One of my people found him, not too long ago. We named him Nick, been raising him like my own."

Lucy nodded, feeling her chest tighten.

"I believe...that baby upstairs was the surviving twin I delivered months ago...I believe upstairs is Negan's child."

"But..."

"The changes are slim, but so weren't they when it came to that bastard getting me again. I only saw him once, and I was basically dying...you need to promise me something okay?"

Rick waited, before Lucy struggled to get these words out. Sighing, she clasped her hands tightly, trying to find the strength. Taking slow deep breaths, she looked at him, pain in her exhausted eyes.

"You never let him know. He has no idea...I think he believes he's dead. If there even is the slightest chance that's his child, you never let him know. You raise that child, raise him like your own. I can tell just by looking at you that you are a good man, a better man. If he dies, he dies...at least you'll give him a chance. That bastard wants a baby more than anything in this world, and I'll be damned before he gets him."

"He's your child...what if..."

Lucy shook her head.

"No, he never was mine. You don't look at him and see the man who killed your friends. You see an innocent child, that's lucky to have you. Please...just take care of him. He deserves better if that's him."

Rick stared at her before nodding finally. Sighing, he motioned upstairs.

"You wanna see him?"

Lucy's large eyes cast upwards before nodding.

"Only for a second, we gotta get moving fast..."

Rick nodded before getting up, and leading her upstairs.

Upstairs...

Rick held Judith, while Lucy stood before the crib. Looking down, she stared at the sleeping baby. He wore a dark blue one piece. His eyes closed, spread out on his back, his tiny legs twitching as he slept peacefully, his chest slowly rising and falling. She looked at the tiny freckles spread across his skin, and knew deep in her heart, this was the same baby she had given birth to all that time ago when she had no idea who she was. This was the baby, the same baby that was conceived along with it's dead twin in rape. No, he wasn't hers, and he wasn't Negan's. He never was. Reaching down, she gently used one of her fingers to stroke the side of his soft skin. Sighing, she took a deep breath before turning. Rick watched.

"Is it him?"

"Not sure...but if it is, will you look after him for me?"

Rick nodded.

"I have a plan, you can still be safe if we win, I just need time."

Sighing, Lucy shook her head.

"I'm sorry sheriff...but time is something I don't have."

Turning, she knew better than to pick him up. To touch him again, to keep gazing down at his perfect little innocent sleeping face. No, if she didn't leave now, she never would. Instead she stared at Rick, holding his own beautiful daughter. The same daughter Negan had become to taken with and sadly smiled.

"Come on..."

Rick nodded before placing his daughter inside the crib with the other baby. Stroking her light hair, he turned and remarked he had friends watching them, and that they would be safe. That he needed to round up numbers, but if he had enough he actually believed they could win. The two left the nursery, not turning back. They took one of the cars, and headed back towards the Hilltop.

The ride consisted mostly of Rick talking, telling her his plan. That he knew they needed to be fast. Between Daryl and her missing, they would be sending others soon. He needed to act fast, but with her on their side this might help things. Instead, Lucy stared down the window at the passing woods before looking at him. Behind her she left what very well could have been her son. Instead, she knew no matter how many people were being Rick's so called army, no matter what they got back for weapons, and even if they killed Negan. It wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't be punishment enough. Instead she turned, looking at him, her eyes tired and bloodshot.

"I think you have a fine plan, but you need to get him where it hurts the most."

Rick glanced over.

"What?"

"Negan is a one mean bastard. A surprise attack is fine...but you need to understand to defeat him, you need to weaken him first. Catch him off guard, hurt him...make him feel the way you did the night he killed your friends. There are only two things he loves more in this world, or at least says he says he does. You take those things away, you'll see the human side of him. You'll see the scared human side of him. Make him hurt the way he made you hurt. That way he'll be scared."

Rick looked over confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"There was a woman, somebody who tried to shoot Negan?"

"Rosita?"

"I saw her once, if that's the woman we're talking about. She's roughly the same height and build as me right?"

"Right..."

"Then I have a plan..."

The Hilltop.

Rick and Lucy arrived, and they met inside. Lucy had met everyone, including a woman named Maggie. She was pregnant as well, and her husband had been murdered by Negan. She saw the man who had tried to warn her, Daryl, who had escaped, and several other people she had seen before. They only had a handful of people, willing to fight. They knew were currently getting ready to head to a place called The Kingdom. Rick knew there wasn't much time, they needed to head back soon since people would start looking for Lucy. The plan was she and Daryl could hide there until they got the numbers they wanted. Rick and a man named Jesus were riding along with Lucy sitting between them. She wasn't sure if she could convince him, but she knew it was just a matter of time.

The Kingdom.

They were set to leave. Rick stood in the garden with Lucy who stared up at him.

"This is insane, no."

Lucy shook her head.

"Rick, please...I want to hurt that bastard the way he hurt me."

"There's been too much death. Think of that baby back home, that could be your son..."

Lucy shook her head.

"He isn't. He never will be. He's your child, and you never let him know about me or that monster...understand?"

Rick shook his head. "You aren't thinking straight. You are pregnant..."

"With a baby I don't want. A baby put inside of me by rape."

"There are other ways. We can win..."

"You might, and you might not. I've made up my mind...I can do this with or without you, but it would be easier with. I'm tried Rick...and I swore to myself I wouldn't ever go back to that hell again. We gotta hurt him."

"What if it makes it worse? What if he snaps, I have children...three now to think about, my friends who are my family."

Lucy turned, tears glistening. "You need to trust me...this is the only way."