You probably figured it out already, but I just wanted to say that I do not have any medical background what so ever. So, if I make any mistakes, I'm sorry.

Chapter 17. –Fading roses

The redness was going out of the light now, the remains of the day were a fading pink, the color of wild roses.

~Stephen King

That night, Carly and I were lying in bed, in Spencer's house. Freddie had gone home with his mother. It was late, but I couldn't sleep. "I miss her." I suddenly said. "She would have known exactly what to do in this situation." I smiled. "In every situation, really. She was smart like that."

"She really was." Carly agreed. "She was amazing. I'm sure she would have been really proud at you. At how you're handling this." She said. "Thanks." I whispered. "I mean it." She said. "I know." I said. We fell asleep in each other's arms.

I was wearing a plain, black dress with a pair of Carly's black heels underneath them. I wasn't crying. I couldn't cry. I forgot how to. Two white coffins were standing in the middle of the church, decorated with roses. Melanie loved red roses.

I looked to my side, but my mom wasn't there. I was alone. I stood up to look for her. I ran down the graveyard, trembling on my heels. I was running towards Melanie's grave. But when I came there, it wasn't the same.

There were two gravestones, now. One of them was Melanie's. I knew because it was filled with red roses. They were her favorite. I knew because I put them there. I brought her one every week. On the other grave, lay just a single rose. A pink one. A faded one.

It was my mother's grave. I knew because she loved pink roses. I knew because the last one I had ever brought her, must've been long faded by now. I fell down on my knees. I was alone. All alone. My sister left me. My mother left me.

And when all was said and done, I was left with nothing. But the fading roses on their graves.

I jolted awake and sat up straight. A dream. A dream. It had been a dream. "Sam?" Carly mumbled. "What's up?" I steadied my breathing. "Nothing. I just had a bad dream." I said. Carly rubbed her eyes. "What was it about?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Just… Nothing." I took another deep breath. "I'm tired, let's just go back to sleep okay?" I said. "Okay." Carly said. I turned around and closed my eyes, knowing there was no way I'd get anymore sleep now.

I waited a few hours, till I was absolutely sure Carly had gone back to sleep, before I sliding out of bed and leaving the room. My phone told me it was six o'clock in the morning. Not even Carly's alarm clock was awake yet.

But I didn't mind. I could use the quiet time, honestly. I loved my friends. And I was sure there was no way I could ever make it through this without them. But every now and then, I needed some time alone. I needed some time to think.

I went into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. Differently from when Melanie had just died, I was actually hungry now. Last night I had been so tired –I skipped dinner and went straight to bed. Last time I had eaten something, had been on the plane.

And that didn't really count as food, so the last time I had had a decent meal had been way too long. I decided to go with bacon-pancakes and fat cakes –my favorite kind of breakfast.

As the pancake batter sputtered in the hot pan, I heard my cell phone buzz a single time. I grabbed my phone to read the text message. From: Spencer. Hey Sam! I finally booked my flight to Seattle, it's leaving at six tomorrow morning –Italian time. So, I'll be there around midnight. See you soon!

Since its eight hours earlier in America, he would leave tonight at ten, and be here around two PM tomorrow. I didn't send him anything back. Because it was so expensive, we avoided phone calls and text messages to and from Italy as much as possible.

I quickly flipped the pancake, which was starting to burn. I was able to eat my breakfast in piece, before Carly woke up.

I spend the day at the hospital. Carly went with me in the morning, and Freddie would take over in the afternoon. I got the feeling that they had some kind of planning going on –you go with her today, I'll take her tomorrow –like that.

But I didn't care. I honestly didn't. I told them that I didn't need anybody to come with me. But I knew I was lying, and so did they. I did needed somebody there with me. Just like I knew my mom needed me there with her.

The doctor told me that I wasn't needed to be there all the time. Now that her treatment had been discussed, it was really just a matter of waiting and hoping. The nurses would check in on her every few minutes, and the machines would know if anything was wrong.

I knew I didn't have to be at the hospital the whole day. But I couldn't. I couldn't stay away, knowing she could be dying in there. She couldn't hear me, couldn't see me, couldn't know that I was there. But that was okay. Because I knew.

I wasn't sure yet if I could really love her again. I wasn't sure yet if I dared to. But I knew for sure that I cared about her. Even if I didn't want to. I just did. And to me, that meant I was enquired to care for her. So I sat there, all day long.

Carly and Dr. Hunter did make me go home at nights. But only with the promise that, if anything was wrong –or if her condition just slightly changed –even if it meant nothing at all –even if it was the middle of the night, they'd call me immediately. And I'd be there for her.

I didn't know who I did it for, really. Whether I did it for my mom, for myself or for Melanie. But I had to. Because I couldn't let another member of my family slip through my fingers. With Melanie, there'd been nothing I could have done. But now, there was. There was something. Even if it made no difference, I could still do something.

And I made sure that I did everything possible.

Around six that evening, Dr. Hunter found it time for us to go home. While Freddie gathered our stuff, I went to sit with my mom one last time. I took her hand gently in mine. "We have to go now mom." I whispered. "But Dr. Hunter and the nurses are going to take real good care of you tonight. And tomorrow, when this place opens again, I'll be back, okay?"

She couldn't hear me, Dr. Hunter told me. Some coma patients could, but her condition was differently, somehow, he said. It didn't stop me from speaking to her tough. Heck, I still spoke to Melanie when I visited her grave. It was just as easy, really. Speaking to people, when you knew they couldn't hear what you said.

"I miss Melanie, mom. I miss her a lot. I know you must, too. She would have handled this all way better than I ever will. But I'm trying, mom, I really am." Tears were burning behind my eyeballs. "Just, don't die on me, okay? I couldn't stand to lose you to."

I paused for a few seconds. "I'm going to go now. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I laid her hand back on the bed, next to her body before standing up. Then, without giving myself the time to think about it, I bowed my head over hers, and kissed her temple.

I turned around then, walking over to the door, and closing it behind Freddie and myself. We both kept silent while exiting the hospital, neither knowing how -nor wanting- to discuss the current situation.

It wasn't until we were both seated inside his car, that we began speaking again. "So, you and Carly both weren't exactly enthusiastic about the hospital food this afternoon." Freddie started. "The hell we weren't!" I said. "And I thought airplane food was gross."

Freddie smiled. "Right! So, I thought, maybe, now you'd like to get some real food? Somewhere?" His hands were nervously tapping the steering wheel. I bit my lip before answering. "Okay." I said quickly. "You'd like to get some pizza, or something?"

"Sure." He said. "Let me text Carly we're not going to make it for dinner." I knew Carly would be a bit disappointed that we hadn't warned her earlier –now she would be stuck with a lot of leftovers. But she wouldn't mind too much. We could take them with us tomorrow. So we wouldn't have to eat the food the hospital provided.

And besides, she was the one who told me to get together with Freddie in the first place –she'd be nothing but happy to hear that we were going out tonight. I mean, that would be Carly's interpretation. Of course we weren't really going out.

We were just to friends, who were going to get a pizza together. No big deal.

So, next chapter will be the last one. :( I already have something written for it, and I just feel that this should be my stopping point.

I was thinking about, maybe, writing a sequel?