2. Amnesia

The nurse had grabbed a chair for her and she plopped down on it, grabbing the edges of the seat to regain some sense of balance. She couldn't take her eyes off Elliot. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but frowned and seemed to be aware that there was someone else in the room.

She'd had several speeches ready for this moment. Angry speeches, mostly. And emotional speeches that had forced her to admit to herself that she had felt more than betrayed by his sudden departure from not only the job, but from her life as well. She had been heartbroken.

Seeing him lying there in that hospital bed, so vulnerable, small even, and realizing that she had put him there, had made all the anger and bitterness seep out of her in an instant. She wasn't sure what she was feeling right now but when the helpful nurse held out a glass of water to her, she knew she must look like she'd just seen a ghost. In a way, she had. Of all the ways she had pictured her reunion with her old partner, this was never one of them. He had a broken leg and hip and would be out of commission for months. He was pale and looked like a shell of the big, strong, intense man she had always known.

He sighed and she felt her neck hair stand on end instantly. She hadn't even heard his voice yet but just that one sigh made her respond physically to him. And then he opened his eyes and tears welled up in her own. Those eyes. How she had missed his eyes. She could see confusion in his eyes for an instant, and she blinked quickly. She needed to see him clearly.

The nurse had walked up to him and spoke quietly.

"Mr. Stabler, you have a visitor."

His confusion gave way to realization. He remembered where he was. She could still read him without needing words.

"Who?"

His voice was raspy but strong and it hit her square in the gut. She took a deep breath when the nurse stepped aside so Elliot could see her. She stood up and took two small steps towards the hospital bed, and towards the man who had been the center of her world for over a decade, and finally met his eyes.

Elliot looked at her for a few seconds and she could tell that he was thinking really hard. She held her breath, waiting. The nurse must be wondering what they were doing, just looking at each other without speaking. But this was what they did. What they had always done. After long seconds, she saw his eyes light up ever so slightly.

"I know you," he said, lifting his left index finger and she felt like her legs were going to give out again.

The nurse quickly pulled up her chair and put it behind her, so she could sit down next to the bed.

"This is the lady who hit your car," the man explained quietly, and Elliot's eyes flicked to the nurse briefly and then back to hers.

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry," Olivia said quickly, and Elliot fixed his eyes on her face again.

"I do know you, right?" he asked, tapping his index finger on the bed.

Olivia had to make an effort not to grab his hand and hold it to her cheek. She stayed perfectly still and held Elliot's gaze. His eyes told her that he had lost his memory indeed. There was an emptiness there, but also a sense of peace that she had never seen in his eyes before. He wasn't the same person, yet he was. Her heart was pounding violently in her chest though. Elliot seemed to be sure he knew her so he remembered something.

She took another deep breath and breathed out slowly, using the breathing techniques she had learned during therapy to disconnect her body from the situation at hand and relax. And then she finally spoke.

"Where would you know me from?"

"I don't know ... yet," Elliot said, still studying her face. "You see, I have amnesia. I don't remember anything or anyone from before October 20, 2011."

The nurse grabbed Elliot's chart and jotted down the new information. He had been right. His patient's memory loss had not been caused by the car crash. He had lost his memory over four years ago. On his birthday?

"You are the first person I've met that I'm certain I knew before then," Elliot continued and Olivia's heart rate must be reaching dangerous levels by now.

"Not even your wife?" she had asked him before she could think about it.

Elliot looked away and closed his eyes.

"You know Kathy?"

"Yeah."

"I don't."

His voice had sounded bitter and she reached for his hand instinctively. As soon as their hands touched, Elliot's eyes opened again.

"Please tell me who you are. You're not just the lady who put me here."

Breathe in. Breathe out.

"My name is Olivia."

Elliot wrapped his fingers around hers.

"It suits you."

"Thank you," she said softly.

She was still overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions and didn't feel like herself at all. She wasn't this trembling, insecure girl. She was a cop for crying out loud. But in this weird scenario, sitting at Elliot's hospital bed in the middle of the night after plowing her car straight into his, she wasn't a cop. She was trying to tread water in quick sand with no solid ground beneath her feet.

"So how do we know each other?" Elliot asked her, and the question forced her to focus on his situation again. He really didn't remember.

"We used to work together."

"Oh."

Elliot thought about her words for a few moments, never letting go of her hand. Olivia stroked the back of his hand with her thumb and somehow, it made her heart rate go down at last. Elliot was here. He was actually here and he was safe. Injured, but safe. And he had lost his memory over four years ago. That meant he hadn't stayed away from her intentionally all those years. It was what she wanted it to mean. She looked at his hand in hers and swallowed hard. It had been too long, and yet it almost felt like no time had passed at all. Elliot's next words brought her back to the present, and the chilling reality of his condition.

"They tell me I used to be a cop. So are you a cop too?"

...

I'm kind of enjoying writing this in short bursts. I hope you all don't mind, as long as the bursts are frequent? And do you feel Olivia's initial reaction is in character for her under the circumstances?