It has been a year since I first published this story! ONE WHOLE YEAR! It is surreal to me as it feels like so much longer! 365 DAYS!
I was actually going to update on Tuesday but I decided to keep it for today. It has been a while but so many amazing things have been happening in my life and my writer's block has been quite awful.
To all of you who reviewed, NessieBooEvans, Beetle126, narakunohime, Raven that flies at night, and Love. Fiction. 2017; Thank you so much for your kind words, I don't think you can comprehend the joy you bring to my day to day life and the profound impact you can have on my day. Some of you have been there since day one, and some left after a little while, and some of you are brand new to the story! You have all had an impact on the person i have become and I am so thankful for every single one of you.
This is a dark one, but it is equally beautiful, I hope with all my heart that you enjoy!
What is stronger, than the human heart,
which shatters, over and over
and still lives
-Rupi Kaur
"WE SHOULD BE OUT THERE FINDING HER, NOT WAITING FOR THEM TO SEND US HER HEART IN A BOX!" Remus shouted, chest heaving, his arms straight against the table and his scars pale against the redness of his face.
"Nah they've already done that, they'll send us her head." Benjy sneered, his blond hair hanging down in a tangled mess around his thin face.
"Shut the fuck up Benjy!" Sirius's voice was laced with irritation, grey eyes flashing with unbridled anger "None of us want to hear your bullshit."
"ENOUGH!" Elizabeth bellowed, she couldn't listen to this, she couldn't hear them talk about Mary as though she was already dead, "Enough! We need to be working together and finding a solution, not talking about how Mary's body can be delivered to us."
"She's right." Sirius stood up and gazed at the map on the wall, that had lights shining at all well-known areas, they flashed whenever a high concentration of dark magic was detected in an area. And green lights were splayed at suspected Death eater locations and manors of dark families. He crossed his arms and spoke without turning to them, "I reckon that Voldy is using cells at an old manor."
"There's a lot of manors there lass." Moody stepped forward, his footsteps heavy, voice strained. "Going through them all would take days, and if we're going to waste time over someone who is going to be killed anyway, a lot of resources."
"SHE'S NOT A WASTE OF-"
"Calm yourself lupin! Tying your wand in knots isn't going to help us find your lady any faster."
"Neither is sitting around figuring out which manors to go to!"
"Well, how else do we find out where to go, lass?" Moody growled, Remus slammed his fists on the table.
"I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS MOODY!"
"THEN GET OUT LUPIN! GO HUNT THROUGH THE RAIN AND TRY TO FIND HER, WE'LL SEE HOW YOU GO!"
Elizabeth jumped in her chair as the resounding bang of the slamming door echoed around the kitchen, filling the eerie silence left behind, signalling Remus's exit. She glared up at Moody,
"You know his not going to stop until he finds her." She sighed, resting her hands on her stomach and tapping her foot on the floor in a rythym. She felt her heart palpitating as the aftershocks of Remus's outburst echoed through their minds, she was gone... Mary, sweet Mary was lost to them, and Remus, the person who lit his soul on fire, who gave him a reason to live, was taken from him.
"It's not my problem I-"
"HOW DARE YOU?" Elizabeth stood up, clenching her jaw, anger rushing through her veins, how dare he devalue Mary, how dare he reduce her to a week damsel, another victim of war. "SHE IS ONE OF THE TOP STUDENTS IN THE AUROR ACADEMY AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE IF SHE'S BEEN CAPTURED?"
"She must not be as great as I thought if she's getting herself caught." He sneered, his deformed features distorting at the facial expression.
"THAT'S RUBBISH!"
"Listen lass, I lose aurors everyday, one more isnt going to kill me."
She felt anger bubbling within her, how dare he be so careless, how dare he measure life so crassly. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as she gazed at the man with hidden contempt. He was an Auror, he was meant to preserve life, he had a duty to the community and needed to protect the lives of those who resided in it.
"LISTEN HERE MOODY! I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS AN EVERYDAY THING FOR YOU, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO WORK YOUR ASS OFF AND HELP US FIND MARY, I-" a lumped formed in her throat and her voice cracked slightly, she wanted to kick herself for being reduced to a whimpering mess "I cant lose another friend."
Moody opened his mouth to reply, his face a cold mask. When Sirius stepped forward, interrupting his thought process.
"Moody, please- for me."
In that moment Elizabeth recognised a sincerity in Sirius's grey eyes she had not seen before, pleading, begging with Moody.
Moody clenched his jaw and let out a growl, "Only because I like you, Black."
Sirius let out a sigh of relief and squeezed Elizabeth's shoulder comfortingly as she slumped in her seat. She looked up at him with tears shining in her blue eyes as Moody stalked out of the room. Her heart beating in her chest as she watched the beautiful boy next to her watch his superior leave and she knew, deep down, whether she would admit it or not, that this boy was everything to her, he was her heart, her soul, her everything. They spoke the same language of love, understood one another with a single glance. She felt blessed to be able to experience the oldest feeling in the world, even when it felt new every day. They balanced one another out perfectly and comforted each other in their arms.
She loved him, and she would continue to do so for the rest of her life, Whether or not that was a long time, he owned her heart.
Elizabeth dropped her head onto the table and groaned, Mr Croaker let out a chuckle and leant back in the chair across from her.
"I cant identify whats going wrong with it!" She pulled on her hair slightly,
"Perhaps the wand movement, you've been using the same movement since the start."
She raised her head from its resting place on the desk and raised an eyebrow, it was a fair observation, but she knew that according to her original calculations the incantation and spell were correct.
"It should all be-"
The balding man raised his hand causing her to pause, "I am not meaning to insult you, But perhaps you did an incorrect calculation at the very start, which is very common."
"I checked several times, I can assure you." She nodded with a laugh, her cheeks flushing slightly...what if she had missed something obvious.
"That may be so Elizabeth, but there is never too many times to check." He sighed, "Do you have the documents on you."
She gave him a soft smile and nodded, leaning down and scouring through her filing cabinet, her stomach bubbling.
"Here you go!" she handed over the thick document to the man, "All the calculations are there, all the failed ones, half-successful ones and the complete one."
Mr Croaker nodded, shuffling through them, his eyes flickering over the words printed on it.
"Elizabeth I would like you to attempt the spell one last time, except I want you to close your eyes and let me guide you through the spell casting."
She sighed and ran a hand over her face, they had already tried five times, three of which ended up with her falling on the ground, and two not working what so ever. And in all honesty with a combination of her grief for Dorcas, her frustration for Mary's disappearance and becoming disheartened with the spell, she couldn't really be stuffed. Despite this she nodded, she would be rude if she said no.
She nodded, knowing she'd probably regret doing so.
"Elizabeth This time instead of simply touching the ring I want you to do a figure eight above the ring, in a similar shape to the dark mark and then touch the centre of the ring."
She nodded and silently practised the movement, she looked up and him and nodded after a few moments, he gave her an affirmative nod and pursued his instructions.
"Now I want you to shut your eyes and listen carefully to everything I say." She shut her eyes and nodded, fingering her wand. "I want you to envision the dark mark, I want you to imagine the darkness of it on pale skin, I want you to imagine the details of the snake's scales, I want you to examine every detail of the skull perched at the top and the snakes head at the bottom." She nodded as his voice and her thoughts were the only things she was thinking about.
"I want you to now continue thinking about the dark mark, and I want you to draw a figure eight over the ring, I want you to follow every cinch and tun of the dark mark, and where the snakes head should be, to touch the center of the ring and then say the incantation once instead of thrice."
Elizabeth did as she was told, following every instruction and envisioning the imagery placed before her.
"Anguis per eosdem insignitur"
Her eyes snapped open to see the reaction of the changes on the ring. Excitement coursed through her at the possibility and faint hope of a positive outcome. A faint red glow enveloped the ring, a smile grew on her face as her heart began to beat erratically in her chest. She slowly lowered her hand towards it, unknowing of what reaction the ring would have.
"Be careful."
Suddenly she retracted her hand, seeing that the glow around the ring begun to get brighter, and the smile began to slip off her face.
"Mr Croaker, I think we need to move away." The pair shuffled backwards, away from the ring when a large influx of magic erupted from it and smoke began to burn away the stone and suddenly the stone shattered.
She let out a groan of frustration as she watched the failure before her, and slumped back in the chair, her cheeks flushing crimson.
"Stupid." She muttered underneath her breath, she looked up to see Mr croakers reaction only to see a large smile present on his face and annoyance shot through her, how did he have the audacity to celebrate the failing of her experiment. "Why on earth are you smiling?" she asked shaking her head in confusion.
The old man turned to her and grinned, "The ring exploded because there was too much magic being conducted through it! I hypothesise that prior to the subtle changes we made there wasn't enough magic or it was reacting badly with a component. This is good!"
"How is it good?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow, his rushed words flying right over her.
"Its good because we have changed the component that caused the spell to fail, the only bad part is that we changed too much at one and cant identify which part it was."
She raised an eyebrow and bit her lip, "Couldn't we use the original method and slightly adjust small parts of it, one at a time to identify which change caused the influx of magic?"
The man nodded, a look of fondness flickering over his features as he watched her, "You took the words right out of my mouth."
She smiled at him, her cheeks flushing. "Great minds think alike aye?"
He chuckled, before standing up and placing his hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"I'm proud of you Elizabeth, despite the things going on in your personal life you still managed to persevere and not allow it to interfere with your work. That takes a truly strong-willed person, and I congratulate you."
Warmth spread within her, she smiled up at the man and nodded in gratitude, not knowing what to reply with. It had been a long time since an adult had appreciated her work or expressed pride in her. Somewhere deep within her she felt his pride register as that of a father causing a longing ache within her, she wished for nothing more than to tell her parents about all her accomplishments and hear their pride, but alas, the death eaters had taken them away, just as they were deconstructing every element of her life.
"Thank you." She whispered.
A shrill scream echoed through the concrete cell, reverberating off the walls and haunting those surrounding. The blonde writhed on the ground as her body was metaphorically stabbed by millions of burning knifes. Her screams hoarse as her throat rubbed roar from her screams. Tears leaking out of her blue orbs. She shuddered with relief and collapsed onto the ground in a whimpering heap as the spell was lifted. Nausea churning in the pit of her stomach. She shakily lifted her arm in front of her and gasped at the cuts that littered her arms from her pain-induced scratches.
Mary let out a sob as she leant her forehead against the cold concrete that scratched her skin, the coldness causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand static, the smell of her spilled blood giving her a deep urge to retch.
Deep down she knew that this was it, she was going to die in the cold confines of a pureblood manor, her name lost to history, the honourable death she had always said she wanted to be torn away from her along with the last remnants of her dignity. Her breaths were no longer in abundance, and her blinks were counted. Every minute that passed was a minute lost. This was going to be her end. Fear was eroding the person she knew she was born to be.
She let out a cry when she was pulled up by her hair, tears welling in her eyes. Her knees trembled with the dead weight of her body.
"Listen here bitch." She dropped her head, defeat spreading within her and her Gryffindor courage evaporating. Avery, Merlin help her. She stumbled back as he slapped her across the face, her hand flying up to touch her flaming cheek. "Look at me when I'm speaking."
Mary's head snapped to the side and she winced as her neck cracked from the impact of his slap as she spat in his face.
"You need to learn respect bitch." He sneered and forced her down to her knees. Mary felt her stomach churn with disgust, she prayed to any and all gods that she would not be subjected to his torture. She would take any pain, any forms of torture, but she couldn't fathom the thought of… no. She wouldn't accept it. She felt screams building up in her chest, creeping their way up her oesophagus and threatening to release.
"You've given me no reason to respect you." She spat, she couldn't hold in her exclamation of pain as chunks of her hair were ripped out of her scalp and scattered down on the ground.
She let out a sob as she felt his hands dragging across her body, she had heard the stories, of what the death eaters did to pretty girls they captured, she had seen the horrific aftermaths, but she had never thought it could happen to her. Its funny, she would walk the streets at the latest hour, uncaring and with little caution, despite knowing what could happen, because she'd never once considered the possibility of rape, it happened to people she didn't know, she heard of it every day, heck she had investigated it, but to have it happen to her, to be violated in such a personal way...
She wasn't going to let this happen to her.
Mary threw herself backwards, pulling herself up onto her trembling legs, sweat dripping down her face from the effort she was exerting. Avery stepped back in shock, his dark eyes widening. Mary knew inside that kneeing him would not do any good if he had his wand. She leapt up onto him and knocked the wand out of his hand, causing it to clatter two meters behind him, he let out a growl and reached out to grab her wrists but his arms dropped as she kneed him in the groin. A rush of satisfaction ran through her as she heard him cry out in pain, the little death muncher deserved it and more, for all the pain he had inflicted on her. She clambered off of him, running as fast as she could on her trembling legs, her heart beating erratically in her chest.
Her trembling hands gripped onto the mahogany wand and she sprinted to the door, her breaths shallow and adrenaline rushing through her bloodstream.
"Stupefy!" She shouted in a panic as she heard Avery swearing and fumbling as he stood up, what use was sneaking out of somebody was chasing her and had sent out a warning. She quickly did a clothing swap charm and changed into the death eater garb. Disgust overwhelming her as she did. How many innocents blood was stained on this robe? How many lives had been taken at the hem of his robe?
As she stood before the door she could only hope that they used a standard locking spell, she didn't have the luxury of time on her side. "Alohomora."
She let out a shuddering breath of joy as the door creaked open, she was halfway there. A smile plastered itself on her face. Shutting the door behind her she let out a deep breath, wanting to hold out on the celebrations until she was back in her beloved's arms.
She stealthily stalked through the corridors, others in identical garb nodding in greetings. For once in her life, she thanked her genetics for her height. Her excitement tingled within her like electrical sparks to the ground. Her heart was dancing in her chest and as she could smell the crisp air wafting through the manor she could feel tears gathering in her eyes, she was going to escape.
she was going home,
She would see them all, her beloved Remus, the girls, the boys, the order, she would help avenge Dorcas's death, help Marlene, finish her training. She was going to escape...
She was going to be free.
"Stop."
A deep voice echoed through the hall, she turned towards the direction of the voice as many around her did. Her breath hitched as she caught the gaze of the vicious man. She didn't need anyone to tell her who he was, she knew, from his amber eyes with an animalistic glint, from the matted hair and long nails. Anger mingled with fear fuelled within her, hatred infected her being as she watched the man who had taken so much roam freely, this man haunted Remus's nightmare, he was the reason the man she loved suffered every month and lost himself.
Fenrir Greyback.
The man took a large sniff of his surroundings, and anxiety welled in the pit of her stomach, what was wrong? Did...did he know?
"We have an imposter." He sneered, looking around the room. Mary's stomach dropped as she remembered what the man was. Panic spread within her, strangling her insides. She looked around, but all the exits suddenly shut. Bile threatened to escape her.
She fingered the wand in her sleeve but knew it would do no good to fight twenty death eaters with a wand that was not synced with her magic.
She felt helpless as his gaze caught hers, the sparse blonde hairs on her arms standing static. Mary felt as though she could cry when she saw the bloodthirsty smirk grow on his beastly face. Her legs twitched, fighting the impulse to whirl around and sprint down the corridor adjacent to her. She took a deep breath and straightened her back in an image of false bravado as the muscled man stalked towards her, the other death eaters inching away from her. Her breath hitched as he came to stand next to her, he stood nearly a foot taller than her, much taller than the average human, taller than Remus even and much broader.
His hand reached out to grab the mask of her face, on instinct she stumbled back, not wanting his mud-streaked hands anywhere near her.
"Caught you." He growled his arm encircling her waist and the other ripping her mask off, one of his nails catching the delicate skin of her cheek. She bit her lip to contain her exclamation of shock and pain as she felt blood trickle down her cheek. Her lips parted slightly in shock as her eyes flickered over his face. His amber animalistic eyes glowing with lust, whispered growing on his face, dirt, mud and blood caked all over his angled face.
This man had embraced his inner wolf.
She turned her face as his hot, putrid breath tickled her face, and he ran a large hand down her face. A predatory smirk tattooed on his face. The sound of her own pulse beating fast in her ears echoing through her mind and all hope of escaping relatively unharmed dissipating, she was gone, nobody survived the wrath of Fenrir Greyback.
The death eaters surrounding the pair had raised their wands and had all pointed it towards her, recognising her instantly.
"You're Lupins girl aren't ya?" he snorted rolling his eyes, she spat at him causing his eyes to flash with rage, his large hand swung to hit her only for her to duck. She let out a scream of sheer panic as he lifted her over his muscled shoulder, the stench of blood and sweat infiltrating her nostrils as he led her towards an empty body pressed against his hard body, the stench around him causing her to gag, She thrashed in his grip, hitting him wherever her arms could reach, but it was no good, he was too strong, she was harming herself more than she was harming him.
The breath was knocked out of her when she was thrown to the ground in a cell, her head hitting the ground with a loud resonating sound. She let out a groan and turned to her side, her vision dotting as she instinctively placed her hands on the spot, feeling slippery blood seeping through her fingers and puddling around her, staining her blonde locks.
She let out a shuddering breath as she heard a groan in the corner, goosebumps appearing on her pale skin. Her eyes flickered up to the small, metal barred window in the cell, and her breath hitched, her limbs going rigid and heartbeat quickened. She wanted to quell the hammering within her chest, stop her limbs from shaking and evaporate into thin air. Her stomach churned and tears sprang to her eyes,
It was a full moon.
She let out a sob as the glow of the moon bathed their cell, and she heard the sounds she vaguely recognised as joints cracking and bones lengthening. Groans of pain echoing around the four-walled cell as bile rose within her.
The last thing she was going to see was the horror her beloved went through every month, she was going to die with the image of the man who ruined him plaguing her.
This was it, she was never going to tell Remus she loved him, she was never going to make him a hot chocolate after the full moon, or kick death eater ass with him, she was never going to fight with him over their meat choices, she was never going to cuddle with him in post-coital bliss, She was never going to celebrate alongside Remus on the day that Werewolfs gained rights in their society, She was never going to see the end of the war, or see James and Lily have kids or finally see Sirius and Liz married.
She prayed that Greyback destroyed her body beyond repair, that she was unrecognisable, so it could never be confirmed how she died. She could not imagine the pain that would course through Remus when he found out, and the guilt that she knew that he would carry with him for the rest of his life.
Mary let the tears stream down her face, she was going to die and that would be the end of her story, there would be no epilogue or legacy. Nothing.
She would leave behind nothing, she would merely be another bloodstain in a manors dungeon.
She used all her remaining strength to shuffle away from the fully transformed werewolf, whose silver hairs glowed under the moon, its amber eyes glowing and teeth bared, drool sliding off them and leaving puddles on the ground. This is what happened to Remus every month… This is what he was most afraid of.
She let out a shriek as his teeth enlarged the closer he came to her, her heart thumping in her chest and sweat sliding down her face.
And as his teeth sunk into the soft flesh of her neck she let out a scream of agony before it all went black.
Sirius deeply exhaled, his heart racing in his chest as he jogged along Diagon Alley trying to catch up to Remus, who, for somebody, a day out of the full moon was extremely jittery.
"Mate, give me a break, my legs are about to fall off." Remus kept stalking down the alley, ignoring Sirius who chased him, his large strides keeping him one pace behind Remus who had longer legs than his companion. "Hey, not all of us have staminas like a werewolf."
Remus turned around, anger visible on his face and his eyes nervously flickered around, seeing if anybody caught onto their conversation.
"Don't mention that here!" he snapped,
"Calm down!" Sirius sneered, grabbing onto his friend's arm and pulling him into an alley along the side. Remus glared at Sirius, looking down at him. "Listen here, we didn't have to join you last night for the moon, but we did, so the best thing to do is listen because I know that if I was to kick you behind the knees you would fall in a second."
Remus sighed and leant his back against the wall, exhaustion flickering over his features, the new scar that ran down the side of his face creasing and a little blood seeping from the forming scab.
"I'm s-"
"Don't worry about it." Sirius sighed, "I can't imagine what-"
"Just don't mention it." Remus whispered, running a scratched up hand over his bruised face, "I just- I need to find her Sirius, I cant-"
Sirius clenched his jaw and gazed at his friend, he couldn't imagine what was going through Remus's mind at that moment, all he could think about was how he would react if it had been Liz. He shuddered at the thought of what he would do and the lengths he would go to to find her. He didn't think he could live without her, just the thought of not waking up next to her, or kissing her goodnight… it made his heartache.
"We'll find her, I promise you." He squeezed Remus's shoulder comfortingly, he hid his surprise as he saw tears welling in his friends hazel eyes,
"What if she's d-" a lump formed in his throat as he tried to get the word out, he pressed his hands into his eyes, trying to prevent the flow of tears, Sirius shook his head adamantly.
"Mares a tough cookie, she'll find a way out." A fond smile spread across his face, and a flicker of hope lit up within him. Mary would be perfectly fine, She was extremely talented at stealth. "I've seen her on missions and Auror training, she's a gun."
Remus smirked, he knew that Mary could kick most of their asses all the way to mars and back.
"I'm sure she can kick your a-"
Screams of terror cut him off, both men's heads snapped up, their wands in their hands and alert. Sirius went in front his wand out in front of them. They entered the main street only to see a large group of people gathered around something.
Behind him Remus's head snapped up, the stench of blood filling his nostrils and his senses alert, fear began to envelop him as a familiar scent mingled with the blood, and bile began to rise in his throat.
He ran ahead, ignoring Sirius's protests and pushed through the crowd of ashen-faced people, dread polling in the pit of his stomach, it couldn't be… He felt his chest tighten as he broke through all the people and his eyes lay upon the horror before them, he didn't hear the protests of those around him, only the shallow breaths that he was taking, his blood pounding in his ears, his limbs felt as though they weighed tonnes. His mind became a misty haze as a painful lump began to form in his throat. No, no it couldn't be.
He did not hear the strangled scream that forced itself from his throat, hoarse with the thickness of his tears as he launched himself at the bloodied body.
No, it couldn't be.
With a shaking hand, he turned the body over and a silent sob wracked his body as he picked up her body and held the dead weight in his arms, wanting to feel the warmth of her body, the soft beat of her heart, a small laugh. Nothing. All that was there was a cold mannequin that looked like her.
Mary.
He ran his hand over her face, the blood streaking her pale, scratched cheeks. Gazing at her beauty through his tears. The pain in his chest as he touched her cold body one last time. He should have had the rest of his life with her.
He felt bile rise in his throat as he saw the marks on her chest, his stomach churned and he let out a sob and leant into the arms that wrapped around him. He knew those marks, he recognised the dark ink oozing from the wounds all too well, the puncture wounds marking her.
It was his fault.
She was gone because of him.
He loved her endlessly, he lived for her and his heart beat for her, and now she was gone.
Mary was gone, and she was never coming back.
This was probably one of the hardest chapters to write, because of the sheer cruelty I am inflicting on them all, I think using Greyback killed me more than killing Mary did. Gah, the trauma that comes with being a writer of a fanfic! Anyhow a small sneak of next chapter, its the last one that's dark for a while, and things should start looking up soon!
Where there were once four of them, there was now two, and with the way this war was raging, soon there would be none.
Please don't forget to leave a review down below and in honour of the one year anniversary of beyond the stars, comment your favourite part of the story or a little prediction!
Also, your girl got her first ever job! :P!
Anyhow goodnight and I will try my best to update before Christmas! Dont forget to leave a review, favourite and follow!
Ruby xo