Hello, my beautiful friends,
So here we have it, the final update of 2017. It has been a wild journey for all of us and I'd just like to thank every single one of you for helping me grow as a person, I have an infinite love and respect for every single one of you that have read this story! Thank you for all your follows, favourites and reviews, you have no idea how much it means to me!
Its a shame that the final chapter of 2017 is going to be a depressing chapter, but I guess that will make the next chapter all the more better!
Once again Thank you all so much and Enjoy the chapter!
"One little soldier boy left all alone;
he went out and hung himself and then there were none"
-Agatha Christie
The group sat in a sombre silence, tears stained on their faces, eyes bloodshot and throats dry. They had been sitting around Sirius and Elizabeth's dining table since they had returned from Mary's funeral, wallowing in their silence and grief.
Two down, eight to go, Elizabeth mused. It was surreal that she would no longer go to an Order meeting and be blinded by Mary's bright smile, or watch her make silly faces behind Moody's back as he spoke, she would never share a Sticky Toffee pudding Ice cream with her and fight over the last spoonful, She would never argue with Mary about the health benefits of bacon or be forced to go on a run at five in the morning.
She had lost one of her best friends. Slowly, slowly, her entire family was being torn apart by this war. They had lost Mary and Dorcas within the timespan of a week… She couldn't help but wonder which of them would be next.
Her gaze swept over Remus and a burning pain seared her heart. His light brown hair was ruffled atop of his head, his skin pasty and his eyes dull and bloodshot. He had dark circles from his lack of sleep and bruises lined his knuckles. As she watched him, she knew that the physical manifestation of his grief was nothing compared to the cyclone raging within him, the dull ache that must be pounding his body at every waking moment. Just the thought of losing Sirius nearly had her in tears, she couldn't imagine actually…
Elizabeth's bloodshot eyes flickered up as she heard the sound of a chair scraping against the ground, and followed Sirius as she moved through the kitchen, searching through their draws for a bottle of Fire Whiskey and shot glasses.
"I think they're in the back room." Her voice was hoarse from disuse, "You might as well just summon them."
Sirius flashed her a forced smile, emphasising the dark circles that had formed under his eyes in recent days, "Just don't blame me if they break."
"I'm sure you'll find a way to fix them."
Sirius placed the glasses on the table, making a show of displaying that not a single crack marred them, and poured the Fire whiskey into the shot glasses and lifting one up into the air.
"To one of our best friends, To Mary."
"To Mary."
The group all winced as the scalding liquid burnt their throats, shuddering as the hair on the back of their necks stood static.
Lily leant back and sighed, running her hand over her face before turning to Elizabeth, "Are you still making the scrapbook?"
Elizabeths eyes flickered up from Remus who was pouring himself a third shot of fire whiskey, and nodded slowly, her brows furrowed.
"I-I haven't in ages." She ran a hand through her hair, surprised at her own lack of memory; Funny, she mused, the war had consumed her so much that she didn't even have time to remember the projects she had invested hours into. "To be honest- I-I'd forgotten about it."
Lily played with a loose thread in her top and looked up at Liz hopefully, "Do you think, we did one for Bev, we might as well-"
Tears welled up in Elizabeths eyes as she nodded, biting her lip as she did so, "Of course." She replied without hesitation. She couldn't help but wonder if the rest of them would get a page, when the war finally caught up to them; She couldn't help but shudder at the thought of the Marauders having to finish the book... Would she get a page? Or would she be the last?
She leant forward, ridding herself of such thoughts and took Lily's thin hand in hers, and squeezed it tightly, "I'll have to search through Box's but we'll definitely find some photos and supplies."
She sighed as she watched Remus downing a fifth shot through her peripheral vision, bloody werewolves and their alcohol tolerance. "We'll make pages for all of them, I don't want anyone's efforts to be forgotten, they deserve to be remembered."
Lily smiled at her brightly, her first smile in days and squeezed her hand in gratitude, nodding lightly.
Elizabeth swore on her life that she would work her ass off, she would not allow for all those beautiful people to be forgotten, she would not allow for their sacrifices to be in vain. She would continue to fight until her dying day to avenge all those who lost their lives. Her parents, Beverley, Dorcas, Mary…
This was a promise she intended on keeping. And one day, when the order was being discussed around a dinner table or in a classroom once Binns got exorcised, they would have tangible proof that they were real, that they lived and loved and that they sacrificed their all for the future of their society.
Sirius got off his motorbike, hooking his helmet onto the handles and casting a notice-me-not charm on it before striding off towards the cliff they'd spent New Years on. It felt like so long ago, when they had all sat, huddled together in blankets, laughing and having fun as they welcomed the coming of the new year.
He wrapped his muscular arms around himself as the crispt wind bit at him, the hairs of his arms stood static underneath his leather jacket. His teeth chattering and hair whipping his face.
The weather matched the destruction of their lives, the storm brewing within them all.
Sirius stopped mid way to the edge as he saw a figure sitting facing towards the city, their shoulders hunched over, and sighed, he knew he'd find him here. Of course, Remus would go to the place where himself and Mary had gotten back together, where they had spent the new year and toasted to long lives and happiness, to a year of eternal love and growth.
He trudged over and sat himself down next to the young werewolf, and looking out ahead, watching the plethora of stars twinkling in the infinite sky, his eyes instinctively picking out the stars his estranged family members had been named after and sighing. He'd once been told by Andy that everyone who died, they turned into a twinkling star, and they spent the afterlife watching over everyone and protecting them from making the same mistakes they made and that after a while, the world would become perfect because of the number of people watching over one another. Now that he was older he knew it was nonsense, but at the time it was a kind story, that gave him reassurance. He smiled up at the sky, Perhaps Mary was watching over them now and laughing at their stupidity.
He turned to Remus and examined the face of his best friend, the scars lining his face, the grey hairs beginning to appear at his temple, the dark circles under his eyes and the pastiness of his skin. He was suffering.
"She's probably laughing at us right now." Remus snorted and used a stick to flick the drying dirt in front of him around.
"I reckon." Remus replied, his voice hoarse with disuse, "She'd probably start crying from laughter and then start crying because she misses everyone."
Sirius snorted, ignoring his friend's voice crack, and masking the pain that gripped his chest at the sound, "Wouldn't everyone?"
Remus nodded slowly, still not looking at Sirius, not wanting for him to see his grief-stricken face. He took a deep breath and shook his head lightly, wondering how the hell he managed to go from a man with the most beautiful girl in his life to a man without her, just drifting around alone in a world where being alone in sucked.
He couldn't believe she was gone, he'd spent years of his life with her, and after waking up to her every morning, and falling asleep next to her every night, the feeling of an empty bed had him quivering in the night, it had him regretting every mission he'd ever accepted. For every goodnight kiss and morning hug, he'd missed he'd shed a tear.
The pain he felt, the grief that plagued him, it was as though he was drowning, but he could see everyone else around him breathing.
That was the beautiful thing about war, it brings people together and makes them love each other that much more. It made every kiss feel like the last, every morning feel like an achievement and every night feel like the end. They loved during the war and one might ask, did it make each moment more precious, or does it make it all the more difficult; and they would say both, and that the war increased the value they had in eachother, for they realised that no matter how much they wanted it, they would not get their forever.
He had loved her, and he would never stop loving her. Despite everything, she had loved him endlessly, for all his flaws and baggage, she had loved him in a way nobody ever had and he would forever love and be grateful to her for what she had done for him.
Her sapphire eyes haunted him, every time he shut his eyes all he could see was her beautiful smile, hear her laugh. He was haunted by her lingering touch. All he wanted to do was lay by her side and run his hands through her blonde locks, to feel her smooth skin against his, hold her thin hand in his larger one. He wanted the late night conversations back, their little spats and playful banter. He wanted all of her back, the good and the bad.
Her sapphire eyes glittered, her cheeks rosy and her smile wide, as he saw her lean down closer towards his face he could see specks of snow on her eyelashes, glistened and shining brighter than freshly cut diamonds, her lips were parted and she'd partially shut her eyes as she leant down to capture his lips with her own. Her hands roamed his body and tangled it selves in his soft hair, his hands circled her waist and brought her closer towards him.
"Come on Mare! Spare me tonight, I just got the Academic Excellence accolade, I'm the second smartest person in the year level, you should be rewarding me, not torturing me!" A wide smile broke out on her beautiful face,
"Come dance with me, Mare." He whispered in her ear and pressed a kiss behind her jaw.
"I'd be a fool to say no," she whispered with a wink, she stood up and pulled him along with her, his eyes were glued to her
"Well you're looking pretty banged up today…" she stated cheerfully, adorned with a fake smile before she dropped it and looked down pitifully. "Lucky for you I dig that look."
The pair ran around the lake, Remus's chest heaving from exertion. Mary looked back and let out a laugh at his facial expression.
"Why am I torturing myself this way?" he groaned, catching up to her.
"Because you are a supportive boyfriend, you are helping me." She retorted whilst rolling her eyes, she took a deep breath and sat down on the grass. Remus looked down at her sceptically, she let out a laugh, "I'm giving you a break."
"Yep, sure you are Mare." He laughed and stared out at the lakes great expanse, his hand in hers.
She opened her mouth to speak, turning to face him fully. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could continue her words, Remus interjected.
"You know, I realised that I haven't had a shower since last year." He whispered, looping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. She felt warmth surge through her as she was in his embrace for the first time in months. A smirk graced her face.
"You know what, me neither." She whispered, biting her full bottom lip, he stared her the sensual action for a moment before looking into her sapphire orbs and winking at her.
"Maybe we should…deal with that together?" Mary leant forward so she could feel his warm breath against her face, and she could almost taste him in his air. He leant forward and captured her lips with his.
"How embarrassing!" Remus ran a hand over his face, and laughed, "I can't believe I said that! Do you remember when you were tying up your laces in fifth-year in front of me and someone pushed you and-"
"And I fell face first into your crotch!" She snuggled closer towards him, "I spent that entire night crying into my pillow whilst Bev fed me ice cream and told me I should've spent longer with my face in your crotch!"
"Hey, Remus?"
He looked down at her and pushed her hair away from her face,
"Yeah."
"Did you know that Marlene Mckinnon offered to shag me whilst you were gallivanting around with the werewolves?" His head snapped up,
"Did you?" She raised an eyebrow and smirked, before rolling out of his embrace and walking seductively to the bathroom. She couldn't help but feel her cheeks flush slightly and her heart speed up as she felt his piercing gaze on her naked body. She turned back as she leant against the doorway of their ensuite.
"I don't kiss and tell darling." She laughed as she walked into the bathroom, leaving him gaping in the middle of their bed and wondering how the hell he managed to bag someone so perfect.
"I'm bored and have an hour and a half to kill." She whispered, straddling him and pressing a kiss to his pink lips.
He raised a sleepy brow and rubbed his eyes, a goofy grin growing on his face, "Oh yeh." He nodded, running his hand through her short, tangled locks, "I wonder what we should do?"
"Hmmm." She lightly squeezed his buttocks that were naked from the previous night's activities, "I can think of a few things."
He let out a laugh as she kissed a line down his navel, "It's a pity you didn't wake me up a different way this morning."
Mary raised a brow at him and smirked, lifting her head and looking up at him, "I like having consent."
He shook his head and pressed himself deeper into the mattress, his hands tangling themselves in her blonde locks.
"Well, Thank you for not raping me, I really appreciate it."
"Oh, its no worries." She waved him off, "I don't mind."
"MARY!" She sped up as she heard Remus'svoice up ahead, looking up relief flooded her as she saw him at the end of the fork in the road, she was safe, she was safe, Remus was here. "MARY RUN!"
And then she felt large arms encircle her waist and a pull on her navel, her beloved screaming her name as she disappeared, a scream tearing itself from her throat.
Back on the street, Remus Lupin crumbled to the ground, feeling as though he'd been stabbed. The hope and love in her face when she heard him, how she sped up so she could be in his arms, the way she jumped out of the way of the spells he was sending towards the burly death eaters chasing her, despite the fatigue that had been embracing her. They had taken her from him, they had snatched her. Thoughts of Dorcas Meadows flooded his mind as a painful wail escaped him, a rock next to him flying into a wall, Who knew what they would do to Mary. The pain in his heart increased tenfold and all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and kiss her.
But instead of being with the woman he loved most, he was the only person around, kilometres away from the battle site, lost in an abyss of his grief and anger.
Mary Macdonald was gone.
She looked out to the crowd and as another tear trickled down her dry cheek, she gave a soft smile and gazed up at the starry sky.
"Beverley Wilkins, I fucking love you, I love you so much and promise you that one day we will be reunited in the afterlife. Farewell, my sister."
Tears began to trickle down his stubbly, scar-ridden cheeks, burning his eyes with its saltiness. His only consolation was that Mary was with her best friend, the both of them causing chaos in the afterlife with Dorcas.
He missed her, Merlin he just wanted to hold her one last time.
Sirius turned his head towards his best friend to see tears begin to trickle down his face and his face dropped, sympathy coursing through his veins. Remus was suffering. He moved closer to Remus and wrapped his arms around him. The werewolf leant into his embrace and let out a gut-wrenching sob, Remus's face reddened and his sobs were loud.
He tried to imagine his life after losing Elizabeth, he tried to imagine the pain that would plague him at every moment and the constant ache in his chest. He tried to imagine the magnitude of pain he would feel and he couldnt... He felt ill thinking about it. And he knew that this is what Remus was feeling, this sickness that had caused his stomach to churn and eyes to burn. It was a small inkling of what Remus was feeling.
Tears welled up in Sirius's eyes at his friend's grief, it wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that such a wonderful man, such an unlucky soul was plagued with this grief, that the only light in his life was cruelly taken from him.
It wasn't fair.
Elizabeth looked up from her hot chocolate as Lily sat herself down on the orange bean bag in their lounge room. Her eyes raking their way down her best friend, taking in her haggard appearance. Lily's usually voluminous red waves limply hung around her face, which was paler and thinner than usual, there was no flush or glow to her cheeks. Her clothing fell around her and it looked as though she was swimming in her clothes. Her usual bright green eyes were dim and bloodshot and had bags underneath them. She knew that she looked similar.
Losing Mary was tough, all throughout school, there had been four of them, after school there had been three, but now… only two of them remained. Herself and Lily. What was to say that within two years none of them would be around. That every day they lived, was another day lost. That every morning they woke up with limited time.
They were all going to die.
It was a startling realisation, especially for a nineteen-year-old. It was surreal that one day they would not spend their days with the ones they loved, that they would not go to work or fight in any battles. That one day their breaths would be numbered and their heartbeats limited.
Elizabeth's blue eyes connected with Lily's green and she sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"Did you bring the photos?"
Lily flashed her a small smile and nodded, cancelled the spell on her bag and pulled out a stack of images.
"Bless you!" Elizabeth gaped at the stack and let out a soft laugh. She summoned the large leather-bound folio from inside of a box, and flicked past the page they'd created for Beverley, and Elizabeth was reminded of the fact that she had ignored the book for a fair while.
"Liz you skipped," Lily said as she looked up from the photos she was sorting through.
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and snorted. "Thought I should keep a spare page since I neglected to work on the book since Bev died."
Lily's head snapped up in surprise, "You're joking!"
"Nope, things just got pushed back I guess." She shrugged and crawled over to where Lily was, looking over her shoulder at the stack of photos. She giggled as they came across a photo from Christmas, where James was in his animagus form, his nose charmed red, with Mary and Lily sitting on his back and gripping onto his antlers as he pranced around the room.
"I can't even remember that!" Lily laughed, tears springing to her eyes, Elizabeth lay back and let out a laugh,
"I'm pretty sure you and Mary were both smashed at that point!" She pointed out,
"Oh yeah because you're that great at handling your drinks." Lily snorted,
Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she too scanned through the stash of photos, "It took you a while to figure it out." Her smile dropped as she came across an older photo, and turned to Lily who with one glance at the photo had teared up,
"I remember that." She whispered, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears.
Elizabeth swallowed the lump in her throat and ran a finger down the image. It was of the four girls at Hogsmeade in their third year. Their faces alight with happiness and innocence, their youth visible on their beautiful faces. Their smiles bright and unforgettable. They sat around a circular table in the Three Broomsticks, butterbeer in hand. Obviously, the image was taken in summer considering their dresses and skirts, heels and makeup. They looked as though they were all grown up and had the world in the palm of their hands.
"We're so young." She whispered, she turned as she heard Lily let out a soft sob, she wrapped her arm around Lily, running her hand down her arm comfortingly. "how did-"
"I know." She whispered,
Lily looked up at her, cheeks blotchy and red. "How did we go f-from b-b-bein-g so y-young an-and happy to-" she let out a sob, raking her hands through her tangled locks, "To b-being col-losal f-fuck ups." She shuddered in Elizabeth's arms, who had to began to tear up as she held her crying friend.
"Promise, Promise me, Liz." She grabbed onto Elizabeth's hand, her nails digging into her palms, "Th-that you wont l-l-leave me!"
Elizabeth's hands shook as she watched Lily lose control, she tried to control her shaking voice, she couldn't... she couldn't promise Lily that. She could tell her anything, but she couldn't... death was inevitable and whether it was from old age or this war, one of them would always be left alone in this world. "I cant promise you that."
Lily shook her head and bit her lip, "L-liz."
Elizabeth shook her head forcefully, squeezing Lily's hands. "Lil, no matter, no matter what happens, we will always be with one another. Just like we never forgot Bev, and we won't forget Mare or Dorcas, we will forever remember one another."
"But I…"
"No buts." Elizabeth interjected, trying to maintain her composure, "We're going to fight this war for them, so they didn't die in vain, and we're going to make sure that we forever remember them."
Lily nodded, tears streaming down her face, and gripped onto Elizabeth tighter whose resolve began to shatter and tears trickled down her cheeks.
"I miss them too Lils."
Where there were once four of them, there was now two, and with the way this war was raging, soon there would be none. But until then they were going to fight with a vengeance so fierce that the other side would cower when they were faced with them and they avenged their best friends deaths.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Now as always a sneak peek of next chapter!
"We'll find out soon, Keeping secrets isn't a part of Peters skill repertoire."
and
"CONGRATULATIONS!"
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! I hope your 2018 is full of happiness
Don't forget to follow, favourite and review! Also I need to come up with my new years resolutions and I'm curious to know what yours are? Let me know below!
Lots of love from down under,
Ruby xx