16. Home

Cragen stood up and stood next to the bed when he introduced himself.

"My name is Donald Cragen and you used to work for me at the Special Victims Unit for over a decade."

Elliot stared at the man for a few seconds and then his eyes flicked to Olivia's. She had stood up as well and they reached for each other's hand automatically.

"Remember I told you I asked our former boss to come? This is him."

"Oh."

Elliot looked at the older man again and Olivia could see that there was no recognition at all. If Cragen was disappointed, he wasn't showing it. Instead, he told Elliot,

"You and Benson here gave me quite a few headaches over the years, detective Stabler. I could tell you a few stories if you're interested."

Elliot forced a smile and Olivia knew he was disappointed as well that he didn't recognize his former boss.

"Sure," he said, but he didn't seem very excited about hearing Cragen's stories.

Cragen glanced at Olivia, who apologized wordlessly to him for Elliot's lack of response. Cragen nodded at her reassuringly. It was okay.

"So, I hear that you do recognize Olivia. That must be very strange for you."

Elliot perked up a little and reached for the controls of his bed to raise it so he would be sitting up.

"You need a hand with that?" Olivia asked.

"No, I've got it."

Some things hadn't changed. Cragen winked at Olivia, who just smirked at him.

"You know, it's very new to finally remember someone," Elliot started once he was done adjusting the angle of the bed, "but I wouldn't call it strange. It's a huge relief, like I'm finally going home again after being at sea for years."

"So Olivia is kind of your lighthouse, helping you get home," Cragen responded, but Elliot shook his head.

"No."

He squeezed her hand and Olivia felt butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her with so much tenderness in his eyes that she had to look away.

"She's not helping me get home. She is home."

Olivia took a deep breath and avoided looking at either of the men in the room with her. She wasn't used to Elliot's directness yet. At least Cragen would understand what she'd meant when she said Elliot was filter-less now. She didn't know what to say and was relieved when Cragen spoke again.

"I can't say that surprises me very much, son. You two were quite a team for so long, and I've always know you cared deeply about each other. More than partners should."

Olivia looked at her former boss.

"Yet you never split us up."

"I've wanted to, believe me," Cragen sighed, smiling at her and then looking at Elliot. "But it was pretty obvious that you two would always function better together than apart. Elliot, if we'd known about this ..."

Elliot held up one hand immediately, and interrupted the Captain,

"I know. They kept you all away. I'm sorry that it looked like I abandoned you."

His eyes had drifted to Olivia, who bit her lip and just nodded. The pain of his absence was still there but she knew that Elliot wasn't to blame. He'd been on his way back to her after just five months in stead of four years.

"Olivia had it rough. I'm glad she knows now that it was never your intention to stay away."

The Captain looked at her and Olivia had to blink the beginning of a few tears away. Captain Cragen had always been like a father to her. Stern but fair. And he knew how much she'd missed her partner. She suspected he knew how much she'd loved him. How much she still loved him and how no one could ever take his place despite their best efforts.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you, sir. You seem like a good man to me. You looked out for Olivia after I left?"

"I tried," Cragen said, and Elliot didn't miss the sadness in his voice and eyes. He frowned and looked between the two people at his bedside.

Olivia wanted to tell Cragen that Elliot didn't know anything about what had happened to her, but that would make him even more curious. She could see that Elliot was already wondering what he was missing. Cragen rescued her once again.

"I am glad you seem to be remembering Benson. You two need each other," the Captain stated. "I can only hope you will regain more of your memory over time. I'll be glad to help."

Both Olivia and Cragen sat down and Cragen talked with Elliot for a while, answering questions mostly and offering up a few anecdotes from the past. Olivia could tell that Elliot enjoyed the stories, especially when they were about her, but they didn't spark his memory. They exchanged a look from time to time and feeling their connection so strongly after all this time, made her stomach flutter despite the seriousness of the situation.

After about an hour, Cragen stood up to leave and Olivia walked him to the door.

"It's so strange to see him like this," Cragen told her softly when they were halfway through the door.

"I know. It's like he's the same person but with a completely clean slate," Olivia sighed, looking down at the floor.

"Not completely, Olivia," Cragen said, lowering his head to catch her eyes while he put a hand on her shoulder. "He remembers you."

"Partially."

"Works for me. You can build on that."

Olivia gave her former boss a half smile. He had no idea how eagerly Elliot wanted to build on that little scrap of memory he'd gotten back so far. Cragen turned around then and looked at Elliot from the doorway of the room.

"You take care of her, you hear me Stabler?"

Elliot looked surprised but grinned then.

"Yes sir."

After they had said their goodbyes and Cragen had promised he'd visit again soon, Olivia walked back into the room. Elliot was looking at the door she'd just closed, frowning, and she wondered what he was thinking. When she sat down on the edge of the bed, he looked up at her, tilting his head, and asked her,

"Did he always call us Benson and Stabler?"

...

This was the last chapter I had pre-written so I'm not sure I'll be able to write another one for tomorrow. The story is in my head but it takes time to put it into actual words. Reviews always motivate me to write, so you know what to do ... ;) Thanks for reading!