Hey guys, sorry that this is such a teeny, tiny chapter, but I wanted to put the feelers out and see if people are still interested.
Please consider this a small expansion of the previous chapter. It's not my best work, but I will go back and edit the story later on. I hope you enjoy!
~{*}~
Homeless men deprived of all decent humanity squatted inches away from the rain with nothing but torn parkers to keep them warm. They peered, rather hopelessly, from the dark crevices of their secluded bridge to enjoy the only pleasure they were certain of in life. Radiant beams of sun injected fumes of pink and orange into the city's dome of existence, bringing a smile to every New Yorker's lips. Every now and again, a fragile man with greying hair and a suspicious limp who never missed the blessed event would awaken from his restless slumber and set fire to yesterday's newspaper until all the trees in Central Park were smouldering with red, orange and yellow. The fragrant breath of pine and fir and cedar and poplar trees intensified with the November rainfall, yet the robins still thrilled with their morning song high in the treetops. The eleventh month was quickly falling into the twelfth. The festive smell of roasted nuts and cinnamon sticks evoked many memories of a season that Quinn had always considered to be unmatchable in sensory delishishness. Christmas was only a matter of weeks away - another reason to be watching her bank account - but she stopped momentarily to cast a curious eye over the magical red and white stalls scattered randomly throughout the park. Handmade Christmas decorations and toffee apples twinkled up at her in the faded light. She felt a flush of warmth consume her; her date's shoulder brushed against her forearm, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps. With a gentleness designed to set hearts racing, Quinn folded her date's glove-clad fingers into the warmth of her fur-lined pocket until their palms kissed. Rachel could feel the fast thud of the blonde's heart through this single touch.
Together they skipped along with a nervous sense of excited trepidation, attempting to explore their new dynamic without pressure or expectation. Rachel asked about everything from the varsity of Quinn's music collection to her plans for the bookstore. She asked about her favourite Broadway show, her favourite restaurant and her favourite season. Quinn wistfully revealed a deep love for Winter; It was a time where she could find comfort in the simplest of things, such as the warm tones of auburn or the tartan blankets draped over her bed, freshly washed and ironed. She even revealed that it was also the only time she got Beth all to herself, just before Christmas. Rachel let that one sit for a while, forcing herself not to dwell on the complexity of their tangled web. Then she asked about her literary heroes, and they spoke at length about great playwrights such as Neil Simon and Oscar Wilde, as well as their love of comedy. She asked about the blonde's favourite TV shows, and they both revealed a deep and somewhat disturbing obsession with The Game of Thrones. She asked about spirituality, about how all their lives connected, and she asked a great deal about the former cheerleader's family - both the old and the new. She wanted to know more about the woman who had brought up Quinn's daughter all alone, and she wondered again how that could complicate things. Quinn guessed that she was making comparisons between her own birth mother and the stranger that had resurfaced years later, only to then raise a daughter that wasn't even hers. But even with all those complexes thrown in, it seemed as though they had fallen together almost unavoidably; like two passing ships in the night.
In return, Quinn wanted to know about the experiences that had formed and informed Rachel, so she asked about the diva's childhood, her fathers and even her preference for vegetarian food. Some topics were skirted around and saved for a more intimate moment, but for the majority of their walk they shared the details of their lives with earnest enthusiasm. Rachel allowed the blonde to explore their new dynamic without pressure or expectation, answering her questions honestly and happily. They talked about schooldays, laughed about their mutual hatred of awful teachers and shared their hopes and dreams for the future. It was surprising how one person's absence could strengthen your memories of them. Quinn spoke with a gentle lint to her voice; her questions born out of curiosity. Rachel sensed that she cared and so she listened intensely; gradually learning to trust that the former HBIC was not there to ridicule or humiliate her. Eventually, she even allowed herself the simple pleasure of curling into the blondes open arms as they kicked away the fallen leaves. When Quinn successfully managed to recount her entire '7 months of your youth left' speech from high-school (with all the dramatic actions thrown in for good measure), Rachel finally relented with a dramatic sigh and forcibly admitted that Quinn did in fact have a remarkable memory.
"I told you..." Quinn laughed, casually swinging their entwined hands back and forth. "I remember everything about you. You're the one who wasn't paying attention."
"Well if I'd have known you were paying such close attention, I would have made more of an effort to look nice for you."
"You always looked beautiful, Rach." Quinn blushed, running her thumb across the smooth valley of the diva's knuckles. "Unforgettable, even."
"Are you admitting to liking my argyle sweaters?" Rachel teased, pursing her lips. "Because I always thought that they were the stuff of nightmares for you."
"Oh they was." Quinn nodded unapologetically. "They were terrifying actually, but there is something rather sexy about a 5'3ft brunette with legs up to my shoulders."
"I have a small body." Rachel said, as if by way of explanation. "But my legs belong to that of a normal sized person."
"I happen to think that you are perfectly put together." Quinn grinned, pausing momentarily to drink in the perfection awaiting her next admission. "You even made argyle sexy-"
"Sexy? That's not a word generally used to describe me." Rachel shrugged, pulling the collar of her jacket upwards to hide her devilish smile. "Maybe I'll have to dig up one of my old sweaters again..."
"Um-" Quinn's horrified expression was hysterical. "If you do that I'm just gonna rip it straight of you."
"Oh no you won't!" Rachel giggled. "My sweaters are here to stay."
"You know, now that I think about it, I think argyle burns pretty well..."
"Quinn Fabray! Don't you dare threaten my sweaters which such things!"
"Fine." Quinn relented, chuckling at Rachel's triumphant grin. "Just keep them under lock and key from now on. I can't promise they won't find their way towards a trash can somewhere."
"Well after Santana chopped up all my pleather, I decided to ship anything important back to my fathers for safekeeping." Rachel said. "I thought it was better to be safe than sorry."
"Clearly someone hasn't moved on from high-school." Quinn commented as a small trace of the former HBIC spiked it's way through her veins.
"No. She certainly hasn't." Rachel agreed, shaking the stray locks of hair away from her smiling face.
Suddenly, the rain increased in it's intensity, and they both ducked for cover under a century-old willow. There wasn't enough room for the pair of them to take shelter beneath it's weeping branches so Rachel pressed herself right up against it's impressive trunk. Her finger's became laced in the fabric of Quinn's jacket as she tugged her closer, never quite releasing her grip until Quinn was pressed flush against her heaving chest. It was only then that her rigid fingers began to relax and her smile faltered. Quinn was breathless, but smiling. Her eyes were cold, dark and beautiful, flashing down at her like liquid topaz. And then she released the breath that she didn't even realise she was holding and diverted her gaze to the floor, suddenly embarrassed. Without a single spoken word being exchanged between them, Quinn silently pressed herself against Rachel until their foreheads brushed together, their lips only millimetres apart. She could feel the rain trickle down Rachel's forehead, the way their hands connected instantaneously. She could hear the frantic fall and rise of Rachel's chest and she could smell the enchanting fragrance of Rachel's DKNY perfume. She closed her eyes, if only for a moment, and then opened them to find that Rachel had closed hers too. She smiled, reaching out with a tentive hand to cup the diva's cheek. "Rachel?" she whispered, her breath a ghost against Rachel's lips. When the diva's eyelashes fluttered but did not open, she swallowed hard, resisting the temptation to kiss Rachel there and then. Don't pressure her, she reminded herself. Their newly established dynamic meant that would have to weather unfamiliar terrain, and the last thing she wanted to do was scare her date away. "Rachel honey..."
Rachel's brow creased. There was a heavy pause, then she adjusted her weight so that she could easily run her fingers through the loose tresses falling over Quinn's shoulder. "You called me honey."
Quinn could hear the smile in her voice and that was killing her too. "Yeah, is that okay? I figured it was Man-Hands or RuPaul. Much more loving and appropriate."
"Honey...I like that." Rachel whispered, allowing her eyelashes to flutter closed against the warmth of Quinn's skin. "I actually became quite fond of RuPaul in the end. It was some of your most creative work I thought."
"I'm afraid all credit for that one has to go to Santana." Quinn said softly, running her thumb along Rachel's jaw line. Neither of them expected the tremble and break of Quinn's voice, and so when Rachel tipped her head upwards to finally meet the blonde's beautiful eyes, she was surprised by the depth and expression of their sadness. She gave a gentle nod as if to encourage Quinn to speak, but the blonde hesitated. For a moment, Rachel thought the moment had passed, but then a single tear fell and she knew Quinn was about to explore the boundaries of being vulnerable. "I'm so sorry Rachel." She whispered, her voice threatening to crack. "I really wish I could have been there for you. For everything. Pain or success, every breath. But I wasn't even totally there for myself. I wish I could have protected you against myself, and I really hope that you never allowed my treatment of you in high-school to prevent you from achieving your dreams. Most of all, I wish I hadn't been the reason for all your pain, your sadness and your darkness. If it's of any comfort to you, I was in no less pain. But I am so very sorry Rachel." She sniffed, trying hard to prevent more tears from falling, only to realise that Rachel was crying too. The sound of her heavy heart cracking could have shattered the earth in it's intensity. More tears fell and through the blurred mask obscuring her vision, she realised that Rachel was attempting a heart-breaking smile.
"Quinn, it's okay." She cooed, wondering if she broken the former cheerleader into a emotionless wreck. "I have never held you accountable for my failures nor have I ever seen you as someone who could jeopardise my dream. However I can see why I might thought you was. Please look at me Quinn..." With a little gentle prising and a few soft caresses, the blonde's ashamed gaze fell upon Rachel's concerned eyes. "High-school is history now, okay? I've moved on and I've matured. I understand that you had a lot to contend with at a very young age and none of what you confronted in high-school was relatable to me. I have never had a child or controlling parents. I have never been told that I am someone to be ashamed of or that I am not allowed to be myself; even if I am as gay as the day is long -" She felt Quinn's shoulder's begin to shake and she bit her lip to conceal her smile. "I can feel you laughing by the way..." With that Quinn's laugh grew louder, until finally her eyes were smiling too. "Quinn, I admired you. I only wish we could have been friends instead of wasting all those years fighting over nothing."
"The way I expressed myself was wrong." Quinn said and Rachel nodded. It was. Absolutely. But then again, wasn't the majority of what was said in high-school wrong in some form or another? She couldn't exactly say she was the perfect classmate to have around either. She had been bossy and controlling on more than one occasion and Kurt regularly liked to remind her of it. Santana liked to remind her that she was somewhat like a talking encyclopaedia by pretending to look for the mute button, but the difference was that people understood that all her manic, crazy, obsessiveness was coming from a good place. The right place. And she wouldn't have changed that for the world. Quinn's situation was different and high-school had taunted her for many years without release. She had no way of escaping what she'd done or reaping the benefits of self-forgiveness until she gained forgiveness from Rachel. That's why it had been so necessary for her to apologise and when she had the overflow of emotions had been uncontrollable. She wasn't a crier and she never had been, but this was a huge and defining moment in her life. She'd waited years to unleash her regrets in a way that was both productive and well-received. As Rachel looked as those soft, crimson eyes she realised that she was proud of Quinn. However there were still issues to address.
"No amount of guilt can change the past, but I promise you Quinn, I forgave you a long time ago."
Quinn wiped another stray tear from the corner of her eye before tentatively reaching out and brushing her thumb carefully over the tips of Rachel's eyelashes. Wet, unfallen tears stained her thumb, but she continued to caress the softness of Rachel's cheeks and then the length of Rachel's jaw. Her thumb brushed against stained red lips, causing the diva's breath to hitch. It seemed so unfair - Quinn knew her so well, but there was a certain look, a quiet pause, a heavy breath that told her she knew nothing of the woman Quinn had become. It was frustrating to know Quinn in the sense of the old her, but not be able to act upon that established comfort. When Quinn's trembling lips quivered against hers and their hands once again found each other, she surrendered herself to the blonde without reason.
"You know what's weird?"
"No what?" Rachel panted, almost convinced that if she could just push herself up onto her tiptoes, she'd be able to capture those perfect lips with hers.
"This-" Quinn dropped their entwined hands but moved impossibly closer, gesturing to herself and then Rachel. "This. You and me I mean - It doesn't feel weird."
Rachel smiled. "I know."