Legends were told about the gut-wrenching, foul smelling concoctions that came to be in Tootsuki Academy's kitchens, but no culinary disaster came close to Souma Yukihira's infamous squid based creations. A single bite wasn't even bearable, just a tiny taste was enough to send people into a fit of writhing spasms of tentacle-induced terrors. It always brought up the million dollar question: Why did he bother coming up with all these repulsive recipes if nobody was courageous enough to try them out? For a long time he had no straight answer for it, other than the fact that it was a silly competition with his dad. He knew how bad these dishes were, heck, he was always the first to try them out unless there was an unsuspecting bystander nearby.

New developments within his romantic life, however, would eventually earn him one sole fan.

"Souma."

No response.

"Souma!" A little bit louder.

"Hrng..."

"Souma-"

"What? What is it?"

"I'm hungry."

"Can'tcha make something by yourself? I'm so tired..." In the dark of the room, illuminated only slightly by the moonlight seeping in from the curtains, there were the sounds of shuffling against the blankets and plush mattress.

"But Souma-kun..." There it was! The begging, puppy-eyed plea usually had him wedged under Erina's thumb, but tonight he would not be subdued. His upper half was being rocked back and forth, but he did not give in. Instead, he played dead and hoped she would give up and go back to sleep.

"Sou-ma-kuuun~" He felt something soft nudge his back when she whispered so temptingly into his ear. For a regular occurrence, she was especially persistent this time around. Usually it would take some promises to be fulfilled in the morning to appease her, but it seemed that wasn't an option for him now. What could he come up with to distract- Oh, dear.

"Sou-" Lips on the spot behind his ear. "ma-" Lips on his jaw. "kun." Lips on his neck. Now she was just being merciless!

He flipped on the spot and caught her in a surprise hug, minding the bulging bump. Erina smirked victoriously and returned the gesture.

"Now then, before I fall asleep again, what do the queen and royal brat want at this early hour?" He wisecracked.

"Something sweet, servant." She pecked him on the nose and promptly pushed him out of bed. When he looked back at her, she had turned on the lamp on the nightstand and seated herself comfortably against the pillows.

He heaved a long sigh, "Just don't fall asleep on me. I'll come back with something."

"We'll be waiting." She said, patting her stomach for emphasis. Her groggy husband just rolled his eyes at her and pulled on a worn T-shirt, yawning and scratching his head as he left.

The tiled kitchen floor brought chills to his feet, but his sleep deprived mind couldn't care less. The plan was to get in, make something quick, and get back into bed. Opening the fridge and stumbling smack into some leftover squid, it was hard to resist playing a little prank on his pregnant wife. Sure, it might get him killed, but he was losing sleep anyways. Then again, it was hard for her to move around quickly these days, so really, the worst she could do was exile him to the couch for the next month or so (Or at least until she caved in from being lonely and forced him to come back). That in mind, he also grabbed other ingredients to make Erina's actual snack. He grabbed his ingredients, pulled out his old grill and headed outside for some quick cooking action.

He really hoped she couldn't smell the squid from the room, praying that the bedroom window was shut.

When he walked back into the bedroom, Erina was in the middle of reading a book. She raised her head when he came in and looked at him hungrily behind a pair of reading glasses. She took them off and neatly put them aside with the book.

"Well? Let's have it."

The redhead presented her with an innocent-looking container, though it was closed off so as to hide its contents. "This one's a surprise, so I'm gonna have to ask you to close your eyes."

As if that wasn't suspicious enough already. "And why's that? You didn't make anything weird again, did you?" She asked skeptically.

"Nope! Just taste it and find out." He extended the container out to her, but made a show of taking it back and away from her. He was really going all out to stretch out the anticipation in the room, just so that he could swoop in with one swift blow. Aren't I just evil?, he cackled internally. He mentally cheered when she sloped her shoulders and dropped the hard look.

"Really, all this for one snack? I might as well just not have bothered with you at all, Souma." She griped, covering her eyes with her hands.

"At least I got up this time." He grabbed a bit of the mystery food with chopsticks and moved it to her mouth. "Say 'Aah!'" She didn't say it, opting to just open her mouth. He delicately placed the food in her mouth and waited. And waited... and waited. And when he finally got a reaction, it totally wasn't the big spectacle he was hoping for.

"Mmm! Sho good!" She probably would have melted into a puddle if this wasn't real life, but here she was, loving every single moment of this twisted, would-be trick. "Something about this sweetness; it's too addicting! And there's something else, but I can't figure out the taste. What is it? Can I open my eyes now?"

"Grilled squid... dipped in strawberry jelly..." He deadpanned. Seconds ticked by tortuously slow as he watched her hands drop to her sides and the once pleased smile morph into a tight, grim line. Her head slumped over, causing her fringe to shield her eyes.

He had the gall to ask, "How- How was the, uh, squid?" She said something under her breath, but he didn't quite catch it. "Can you speak up?"

"I said," She took a ragged breath. "I want to try some more."

He was absolutely flabbergasted, but the expression on his face took on a more hurtful meaning for Erina's hormone-addled pride. She snatched the container and chopsticks from his hands and began to devour the nauseating contents. The corners of her eyes prickled with tears, and her cheeks were pink with shame. She looked so close to breaking apart that it was pitiful. In fact, it made Souma feel really uneasy, and that was saying a lot considering how thick skinned he was.

"Hey, you don't have to eat all of it," He assured shakily, but she didn't listen. "It was just a mean joke, see...? You can stop now, Erina." The pitch of his tone kept quavering , and by the end he sounded as if he himself was going to cry. But as sorry he sounded, Erina did not care to listen. "...Honey?"

"Stupid! It's because of your stupid experiments and your stupid hobby that I'm like this! It's all your fault!" If she wasn't crying before, she sure was damn close to it now. "I can't even believe I'm eating this, Souma! If you actually cared about me, you wouldn't have done this in the first place! Now I've lost my appetite!" She whimpered. Her final words were at odds with the empty container that she all but slammed onto the nightstand.

"I said I was sor-"

"Well, I don't want to hear it!" The hysterical blonde launched a pillow at Souma, which he easily caught in his hand. Carefully, he tugged it away from her hand and placed it a safe distance from her grasp. He let himself take in all the guilt while her hiccups and snivels slowly receded. He really wanted to kick himself for forgetting about her mood swings, and really, how could he when he was usually the victim of her emotionally fueled scenes?

When she finally seemed to settle down, he placed her actual midnight snack on her lap: a few s'mores wrapped in saran wrap, still warm.

Souma's voice remained oddly quiet, "These were supposed to be what you were actually supposed to eat. I'm sorry." Erina took it and held the treats in front of her like it could break at any second. When Souma saw her eyes well up with tears again, he was ready to both jump in and console her, or protect his face with the pillow he took from her. Instead, she wiped her eyes and locked him in a constricting embrace that just about squeezed the life out of him. When she let go, she gently placed both hands on the sides of his face and gave him a very long, very sweet kiss. Her lips smushed against his and he hummed in surprise, only for him to make a face less than a second later. The bad combination of sweet and fishy came back to bite him, and it was not pretty. He remained strong for Erina's emotional sake.

"I'm sorry for calling you stupid." She breathed once their faces separated. "But I'm not taking back what I said about your food."

He shook his head, "It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I admit I was being mean. Didn't expect you to finish the whole thing though!"

"It's because of the baby!" She pouted, looking away. "These cravings are making me act irrationally and these mood swings just-" He interrupted her excuses midway with another small kiss.

"I get it, I get it! I promise not to do that again if you promise to stop blaming everything on the baby already!"

"Fine..." She replied halfheartedly. "But... Just don't laugh if I happen to put in a request for that again."

He chuckled and pressed another kiss on her cheek, "That's fine by me. Better?"

She nodded sheepishly. "Better."

"Good." Souma smiled. "I think we had enough fun for one night, so let's get you and Junior here back to sleep."

"Junior?" She scoffed. "It's going to be a girl. Just you wait."

"Boy." He firmly stated as he walked out with the plastic container and the s'mores. Too much sugar at this hour wouldn't do her or the baby any good, so he'd stash them somewhere safe until she was allowed to have them again. He was surprised how they've managed so far without overstepping things with Erina's outrageous food cravings.

When he returned from the kitchen, Erina was snuggled under the covers and sound asleep. Souma shook his head and joined her. 'Just wait until pops hears about the squid.' He thought before turning off the lamp and falling asleep.

A/N: This one was really fun to write! Thanks to Isashi Sanada for the suggestion that coincidentally tied in well with the last chapter! (Or at least I thought so anyways.)

soul puker: I totally agree with that, but no doubt there's a lot of teasing involved (probably revenge for Erina being such a bully when they were kids, I'd like to imagine lol). Also, rad means cool, and I tend to use that word a lot so excuse me for that lol!

a.k.a. Kusabi: So the name Yuu came after five minutes of thinking 'Gee, let me try to give their kid a name with meaning and emotion and junk!' But then I thought it would be funny if his name rhymed with Ryou's, so I tried searching through lists, but none of them seemed right. And then I found Yuu, which could mean "superior," so I stuck with it considering Alice's and Ryou's backgrounds. That's about it, though. Also, while that idea does sound pretty funny, I'm sure you could pull it off on your own! You sound like you already have everything planned out lol.

On a side note, I've been thinking about ending this oneshot series once I reach about 10-15 chapters in length. My hope is that by then I'll have an outline for a story with ACTUAL PLOT(wow!) For now it's not certain if I will end it at that range, but I think that's a reasonable stopping point. We'll see, I guess. What I do know is that it's been really fun writing these so far!

As per usual, reviews and constructive feedback are always welcome! See you all again in the next one!