After checking Fault (season 7, episode 19) so I could use the actual conversation between George and Elliot here, I realized I made a small mistake: Elliot visited Dr. Huang the next day, not the same evening. I corrected chapter 28 and this chapter starts with that corrected last line. So I'm a detail freak ... Alright, on with the story. Underlined print is from the actual show. The part in italics is a flashback. This chapter is especially for Peedy :)

...

29. Complicated

"The day after Ryan's death and your argument, Elliot came to talk to me. He told me then that he was in love with you."

Olivia's eyes had gone wide and she looked up at Elliot again.

"Sounds about right to me," Elliot said simply, after which he focused on Noah again.

Olivia blinked a few times and asked George,

"He just came out and said that?"

She couldn't imagine it. Not after the way he'd completely clammed up on her for the rest of the day. If anything, he had behaved as if he resented her. There had been absolutely no love lost between them on that day.

"Well, not in so many words," George admitted, "but yes. He confirmed it eventually."

George remembered that morning very clearly. It had been the first and only time that Elliot had come to him voluntarily, without being ordered to come in for a psych eval by his boss.

Elliot walked in without a word, his body tense and his jaw set, clearly struggling.

"I heard about yesterday at the bus terminal. It's terrible. I'm really sorry," George offered.

Elliot didn't respond, he just crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"You know, in situations like this ..."

"Please don't tell me there's nothing I could've done. Thanks."

Elliot walked away from him, turning his back to him.

"I was gonna say," George said, "that in situations like this, there's no good choice. Every choice becomes a sacrifice."

"Not true."

"You had to choose between saving the little boy or saving Olivia."

"Yeah, but she didn't need me," Elliot said, finally turning around to look at him.

"You didn't know that."

Elliot was clearly uncomfortable, and was trying to find the right words to say.

"I wish I didn't ..." he started hesitantly.

"Didn't what? Didn't ... care so much? Elliot, that's what makes you a good partner," George said, avoiding the L-word for now, and walking up to the distraught detective.

"She made me turn away," Elliot said.

It was time to confront him, and George did.

"How? How does she make you do anything?"

Elliot remained silent then. George could see the realization hit him. He knew now what had really happened and why.

"She didn't," Elliot admitted. "It was my choice. Nobody else was responsible for it but me."

Apparently, seeing this truth was enough for Elliot, and he turned towards the door, ready to leave, thanking the psychiatrist. He started to leave and George called his name. As soon as Elliot had closed the door to his office, George walked after him into the hallway, calling his name again. Elliot turned back around, shaking his head even before George said anything.

"Don't, please," he pleaded.

"Don't what, Elliot?"

"Don't make me say it."

George sighed, knowing exactly what Elliot meant. He'd be a horrible profiler and psychiatrist if he hadn't seen their partnership evolve over time into what it was now. They were trying to contain it, stop it from evolving any further but this case seemed to have brought everything out in the open.

"Why not?" he simply asked the detective.

Elliot shook his head more fervently, clenching his fists and looking down at the floor.

"No. I've already lost my family. I ... I can't lose her as a partner and a friend. I can't fuck this up too."

"What do you think you would 'fuck up' as you put it by admitting to her how you feel about her?"

Elliot took a few deep breaths and looked up at him at last, his eyes red-rimmed from unshed tears.

"Too much is changing too fast. I need ... I need us to be the same. I need her and the job to be the same. At least for now."

"Do you think Olivia will understand that?"

Elliot swallowed hard and then said honestly,

"It's what we do. Understand each other without words."

"When you're in love with someone, it's not something you can just shut off, Elliot," George said gravely.

Elliot nodded, looking anywhere but at the psychiatrist and biting his lower lip.

"I know. But this is not the time to tell her."

George knew he couldn't and shouldn't push the tormented detective any further. He had basically admitted his feelings for Olivia to him, and most importantly, to himself. And that was more than he could have hoped for. He just hoped Elliot would be able to handle things going forward.

...

"I was the one who didn't handle things very well afterwards," Olivia said softly.

She felt a little overwhelmed. She finally knew for certain now what she'd suspected at the time, when Elliot had told her that she and the job were all he had left anymore, and that he didn't want to wreck that. She'd read him right then. He wanted them to ignore their feelings so they could remain partners and friends. He must have sensed that there was something between them that was very much mutual, but he hadn't been ready then. Neither had she. He wanted to stay her partner and she had ran.

"You left for a different unit for a while," George said.

"Yeah. Couldn't stay away for long though," she said with a chuckle. "But we both needed that break to find our bearings again after ... that."

"To be able to maintain the status quo even when Elliot was separated from his wife."

"Yes."

George shook his head wearily and Olivia smiled.

"Yeah, I know. We were stubborn non-communicating hotheads and we wasted so much time."

"Are you finally ready to move forward now?" George asked.

Elliot immediately turned his head to look at her and their eyes locked. It didn't take her very long to put into words what their eyes were conveying to each other.

"Yes, we are."

...

George offered to take Noah downstairs for a treat so she and Elliot could talk alone for a while. She appreciated that a lot and once George and Noah left the room, Elliot remarked,

"He's very nice. I can see why I'd open up to him, even if it was just a little bit."

"Yeah," Olivia said, moving Noah's toys to the side so she could take her place on the bed.

"We were a complicated pair, weren't we?" Elliot asked her, taking her hands in his.

Olivia chuckled. It was the exact word she had used to explain to him back then why she had left for a while.

"Complicated. That about sums it up, yeah."

"Did I ever apologize to you for that outburst?"

Olivia wiggled her head.

"In a way."

"Let me guess. Without words. Man, we must have been so tiring!"

Olivia lifted a hand to caress his cheek, willing herself not to avoid touching him now that she was finally allowed.

"A short while later, we faced Gitano together. He had disarmed you and had a machine gun to your head. He threatened to kill you unless I lowered my gun."

"Wow. What did you do?"

"I didn't lower the gun but kept him talking. You told me that I shouldn't make the same mistake you had made and that it had been your fault, not mine. You told me to take the shot, but I couldn't. The risk that either I'd hit you or he would, was too great. I just ... couldn't," she finished, whispering.

Her hands were trembling and she felt like she was right there in that warehouse again, faced with the very real possibility of losing Elliot forever.

"So how did we get out?" Elliot asked her, taking her trembling hands in his again.

"A sniper took him out."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief, as if he'd been on the edge of his seat to know if he'd survived. Olivia forced a smile. She could tell him about their conversation at the hospital but maybe this was enough for now.

"We found the girl unharmed and the case was closed," she finished.

"Did we ever talk about things afterwards?" Elliot asked.

Olivia closed her eyes briefly, still wondering if she should tell him everything all at once.

"Liv?"

"Yeah. Yes, we did."

"And that's when you decided to take off to another unit?"

...

More soon.