"Where is she?" Derek shouted as he ran into the hospital. Dr. Harrison looked up and approached him.
"Dr. Shepherd, I'm Dr. Harrison, we spoke on the phone." He said calmly.
"Where is she?!" Derek repeated, grabbing onto the surgeon's arms and looking crazily into his eyes.
"Dr. Shepherd-" Derek didn't let him speak.
"I have to see her! Where is she? I have to see her, I have to!" He yelled, gripping the intern's arms like lifelines.
"Dr. Shepherd, I need to talk to you first..." he tried to say.
"It's been three months! I haven't seen her in three months- I thought she was dead, I have to see her, please!" He cried.
"Dr. Shepherd!" Elijah cried, but the neurosurgeon didn't listen.
"Please! I have to see her! I have to see her so it's real, I have to know that it's her!" He begged.
"Derek!" Harrison shouted. Derek finally stopped and looked up at him, tears in his eyes.
"Please..." He said softly, softening his grip on the interns shoulders slightly.
"You need to sit down. I have to tell you everything before you can see her, okay?" Elijah explained slowly. Derek nodded, running his fingers through his hair and sitting down nervously.
"Is she okay? Is she hurt? How's the baby?" He asked. Dr. Harrison gulped.
"Um... your fiancé-" Derek cut him off again.
"Meredith." He corrected. Harrison nodded.
"Meredith was attacked. She came into the ER malnourished and dehydrated with three stab wounds and a severe beating. We took her to surgery and were able to stop the bleeding, but we did have to do a splenectomy to get control." He explained slowly. Derek's eyes overflowed with tears.
"She was attacked? Wh... how's the baby? Did you have to take it out? Is it okay, is it breathing?" He asked. Elijah sighed sadly.
"Um... during surgery, we found an infection in Meredith's uterus. It was most likely caused by an incomplete miscarriage that was never medically addressed. We were able to cut out most of the infection but... it is possible she may have lost fertility potential." At this point, Derek lost it. He began to sob, clutching the sides of the waiting room chair until his knuckles turned white.
"She... She... she lost... the baby... and she... can't have... any more... kids?" He cried. The surgical intern placed his hand on top of Derek's in an attempt to be comforting, no idea what he could say that would make this man feel better.
"I'm so, so sorry, sir." He sighed.
"When can I see her?" Derek asked.
"She should be out of the ICU in about an hour. You can see her then." He explained.
"Because I'm not technically her family." Derek nodded, sniffling softly.
"I'm very sorry I don't have better news." Elijah said.
"Meredith's alive. That's the best news that I've heard in my life. I've been hoping... praying, even, that she was alive all this time. I never... never expected to be able to see her again except in a body bag..." he sighed. "Thank you. Thank you... for saving her. For recognizing her. For calling me. Thank you." He finished. Harrison nodded and stood up.
"I'll let you know as soon as you can see her." He assured him.
XxXxX
An hour later, Meredith got her own room. She had started breathing on her own, so they took her off of the ventilator. The doctors said she should wake up within ten minutes of the ventilator being removed.
Derek sat in her room by her bed, his head resting on her hand. He wanted nothing more than to climb into the bed next to her and hold her, but she had sustained several broken ribs and a fractured wrist and he knew that would be painful for her. Instead, he sat and held her hand, grateful for any contact he could have with her. Being able to touch her made him feel like everything would be okay.
Her face had multiple deep bruises and a long stitched up cut on her forehead. One arm had a cast on it up to her elbow and her abdomen was wrapped tightly in bandages. She's still beautiful.
Meredith's hand twitched suddenly and her eyelids started to flutter. The heart monitor sped up, beeping rapidly as she finally opened her eyes.
"Meredith?" He asked softly, standing up next to her. She looked up at him and for a moment, her eyes filled with relief.
"Derek?" She croaked. Something flashed in her eyes and her hopeful smile died. Her eyes glazed over with sadness and filled with tears.
"I'm here, Meredith. It's okay. You're okay now." He tried to calm her down.
"No!" She cried suddenly, pulling her hand out of his grip painfully.
"Wh-what do you mean?" He asked, reaching out to take her hand again. She flinched away from him. Her heart monitor was beeping rapidly and she began to gasp for air.
"No! No!" She sobbed. He stared at her, his eyes full of hurt.
"Meredith-" he stood frozen, no idea what to do.
"No! No! No, no, no!" She screamed. A nurse rushed into the room along with a panicked doctor. Derek stumbled back until he was standing against the wall, his hand covering his face as the doctors and nurses attempted to calm Meredith down.
"Sir, you need to leave." Someone called. Arms pulled him through the door toward the waiting room. He couldn't rip his eyes away from her. Why was she afraid of him? Why wouldn't she let him touch her?
He found himself sitting in a chair in the waiting room. His eyes were still staring down the hall at her room. His mind was swarmed with thoughts but completely blank at the same time. He didn't know what to do.
He saw police officers arrive and head toward her room. One of them stepped cautiously inside. Another one walked toward him.
"Derek Shepherd?" The man asked. Derek shook himself out of his glazed over state and nodded.
"I'm Officer Conrad, I'll be the lead detective on your wife's case." He said. Derek shook his head slowly.
"She's not my wife. Not yet, anyway." He said, still staring at the door to her room.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Conrad said quickly.
"I wish she was my wife. More than most things. The only thing I could wish for more than that would be for her to be okay. I could wish for her to be safe or happy. But somehow I feel like if she was my wife... I could give her those things. I could protect her. I could make her happy. Maybe if she was my wife she... would let me see her." His voice broke and his throat went dry.
"I'm very sorry, Dr. Shepherd. I know this must be difficult for you." The Officer said.
"She won't let me touch her. All I want to do is hold her hand but she's so afraid that she can't let me touch her." He stammered.
"I promise you that we will get to the bottom of this. We're going to find out who did this and they are are going to pay, alright?" Conrad said, getting emotional himself. He didn't know why, but he already felt attached to this case. He had seen the news reports on TV and remembered feeling horrible. He never expected to get a chance to make it better. Derek nodded and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I missed her so much, you know? It's like I couldn't function without her. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Never." He said nervously.
"It may be a while before my friend is done in there. Maybe you should think about getting a hotel room, maybe some sleep or freshen up a bit." Derek knew he was trying not to be rude about his stench or his unsightly beard and hair. He shook his head.
"I can't leave her. Not now, not after everything... I can't leave her alone." He sighed.
"Does she have any family you can call? Someone to stay with her?" The Officer suggested.
"Her friends are her family. I'll call them once I know she's going to be okay. I don't want them coming all the way out here just to sit in a waiting room and worry." He argued.
"Well, alright. I can stay with her if you want. My colleague is in there trying to get information now and we won't be done for a while if you want to freshen up." Conrad offered. Derek once again shook his head.
"I'm just fine here. I don't want to be gone if she needs me." He said. Conrad nodded.
"Okay. I will let you know if she's ready to see you." He said, standing up and walking down the hall into Meredith's room.
Derek sighed and rested his head in his hands. He felt defeated. He had spent three months without her wanting nothing more than to see her face again and now she refused to see him. His mind wandered to her injuries.
Malnourished and dehydrated... three stab wounds... severe beating... bleeding... splenectomy... infection... incomplete miscarriage... lost fertility potential...
It all became too much for him in that moment and he let tears stream freely down his face. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be married. Meredith would have been six months pregnant by then. They would have known the gender, unless they wanted it to be a surprise. Now she was laying in a hospital bed so traumatized that she was refusing to see him with no baby and three stab wounds to the stomach. How did we get here?
How do we get back?
XxXxX
Sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I had a bit of writer's block. / The next chapter will probably be pretty long and will finally give us some insight into Meredith's point of view and what really happened. It should be up soon so keep your eyes peeled!
Kisses!
-E