Chapter 16
Maria's POV
Wait. It sounds perfectly easy to many. Cold. Tired. Afraid. Confused. The four emotions one does not want during their travels. Of course, as you may have guessed, I have all four of those emotions buzzing around my heart like wildfire.
"Mother, where is father?" I hear Gretl ask, her little voice croaky.
"He's gone to look for Artur, Liesl and Brigitta with the other men," I replied simply, not taking my eyes off the dark forest.
"Did those boys take them?" Marta asked, her eyes large and scared.
I didn't answer. I didn't want to answer. We're all sitting beside the fire, and yet I'm shaking. Our white gowns are tinged with brown from the mud and our faces black with charcoal. Herr Gedney is being cleaned up by Frau Gedney, who keeps looking at me, then down at the forest.
Red in the face, the shade of a ripe tomato, with his eyes squinting furiously, my husband emerges from the forest. His chin is clenched so harshly that I'm worried he may chip his teeth. I tell the children to go and wait with Herr Gedney, and gesture to Frau Gedney to come over.
Every word stung. The rage inside of my heart doubles after every sentence coming out of his heart-broken throat, but I can't seem to let it out. Instead of screaming, I wail. Instead of shouting, I sob. Instead of fighting, I slink to the floor, weak and cowardly…
My heart doesn't snap quickly, like it is brittle, and nor does it burst like a balloon. No, it breaks slowly and painfully, like thousands of knives slicing the very thin part of the body, the skin. I had no armour around my gooey little heart, I was so vulnerable. I should've known, I should've been with them. I should've protected them. I failed, and I failed miserably…
Oh, poor Liesl. She'll have to look after them both, and they'll probably question her until her shield breaks in two. The world will be on her shoulders, and what if one of them gets hurt, killed even. She'll never forgive herself…
And Artur. That poor boy has never been in one of these situations and would've probably never seen a gun being pointed on a human himself. They'll make him join the Hitler Youth, won't they? He's not a Von Trapp. He has nothing to do with us, so they won't send him to Dachau, and instead place him in foster care…
Of course, there is Brigitta… She's too curious for her own good. And she's also the youngest, which means they'll pester her for answers too, as they guess she would be too frightened and vulnerable, like me, to disobey them…
"First thing in the morning, we're heading back," I was snapped out of my thoughts when Georg said this.
"Yes. I was expecting that. But all of us, including the children? Shouldn't we leave Marta and Gretl to be cared for by Frau Gedney? Shouldn't we leave them all here? I've already lost two of my children, I'm not losing the other five…" I replied.
"When we get to our home, we'll leave them at the cave. You remember, the first one we found, or one near there. Then we'll leave them in Friedrich's care, whilst you and I go down to find and rescue the children. I'd rather know they are nearby than three days away…"
"I really do think this is a bad idea, Georg, but I want to go. And I want to go now, so whatever you decide with, I'll be by your side the entire time…" I sighed tiredly. Georg flashed me a look of gratitude, before turning to the children.
"We need to go back home…" he explained.
"Why on Earth do we have to do that, father?" Louisa asked.
"Because… Because Liesl, Artur and Brigitta and heading there too..."