Sorry for the delay folks. I will have more writing time after the weekend!

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32. I know you

"Family is everything."

Olivia nodded and kissed Noah on the top of his head before releasing him so he could go back to playing with his toys on the floor. She stood up and leaned against the bed, looking at Elliot. He'd said those exact words to her once before, when she had told him that she'd been alone all her life. Basically, she had admitted to being lonely, and he'd been kind and understanding. She still wondered sometimes how that conversation would have continued if they hadn't been interrupted by a call. Because no matter how lonely she had felt at times, she didn't when he was with her and it had looked like he was going to say something meaningful to her. But as usual, they hadn't discussed it again.

"So tell me, how come it's just Noah and you?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked down at Noah and chose her words carefully so her son wouldn't be able to understand what she was saying. She'd tell him all about his mother one day, but not until he was old enough to handle it.

"His parents are both deceased," she said quietly. "We found him during a case when he was only a few months old and I fell in love with him instantly."

"Oh."

She gave Elliot a few moments to process what she'd just told him. He hadn't known Noah wasn't hers biologically. Elliot reached for her hand again and he held it gently.

"He couldn't have found a better mom than you."

Olivia smiled.

"How do you know?"

Elliot shrugged.

"I just do. I know you."

Olivia bit her lip. She knew it was true because she could feel it. Their connection was as strong as ever. Stronger than ever even, with all of the tension and obstacles out of the way. He loved her and he'd told her, just like that. And even more surprising, she had told him she loved him, too. She had wanted to explain to Elliot how the judge had asked her to foster Noah and that she'd been allowed to adopt him just six months ago, but words failed her. It was as if the change between them was only now beginning to hit her. She felt her face flush and knew she was blushing. She had loved Elliot for a long time, but this new Elliot was a little unnerving. She didn't know whether she should hope he'd regain more of his memories or not.

When she looked at Elliot again, he was smiling and the look in his eyes was so tender that she had to look away. She dropped her eyes to his chest and remembered what it had felt like to touch him when they kissed. Catching herself, she looked into his eyes again and could see that he had an idea of what she was thinking.

"So. There was never another guy?"

Olivia exhaled slowly at the question. It was quite sobering and Elliot deserved the truth.

"There was. There were."

Elliot squeezed her hand.

"Tell me."

There was no accusation at all in his voice and she still hadn't gotten used to that. She looked at Noah and saw that he had dug up his own sippy cup from the bag.

"Noah, that is so good of you," she complimented her boy, who turned around to look at her, his sippy cup at his mouth. "Just sit on the chair while you drink, okay baby?"

"Okay momma," Noah said before tossing the cup on the armchair and climbing up after it.

Olivia chuckled and shook her head. It wasn't exactly what she had meant but he was getting there in his own way. And his own way was the right way.

"See, you're a great mom," Elliot said.

Olivia took her place next to him on the edge of the bed, knowing he would expect her to tell him about her boyfriends.

"Well, a short while after you left, I met this very driven ADA. His name is David. I thought we were actually getting somewhere when our jobs got in the way. Conflicts of interest, and we hadn't disclosed. So we ended our involvement as if it had never happened."

"You say that as if it was a business decision. As if it didn't hurt like hell."

Olivia actually choked up at Elliot's blunt comment. His newfound directness was very confronting.

"It did," she admitted. "It did hurt like hell."

Elliot sat up a little and reached for her waist, caressing her side gently.

"I'm so sorry Liv."

Olivia just nodded, blinking and swallowing, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. She hadn't expected it to still hurt after so long, but it had been so painful to have a man who had promised her that he wasn't going anywhere, choose a job over her.

"And after the ADA?"

Brian. Sweet Brian Cassidy. Thinking about him put a smile on her face. She did love him, just like she'd told him when they broke up. They loved each other but they just weren't meant for each other.

"I met a former co-worker during a case. He was undercover as a security adviser to one of our suspects in a big prostitution and murder case. I had actually hooked up with him once when we were both still young and new at SVU. He ... was familiar, and when he got shot I realized that I didn't want to lose him. We were together for quite a while. Even moved in together."

"So why did it end?"

Olivia took a deep breath and sighed. Why did things end with Brian? She decided to use Brian's own words to describe it.

"We weren't in sync anymore."

Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"What does that mean?"

"We just ... some things had happened and ... I don't know. We wanted different things from life. For example, I still wanted a family, and he didn't."

Elliot knew her. Too well. And right now, she wished he didn't. Because in stead of just accepting her explanation, and maybe continuing the conversation about wanting a family, he zoomed in on something else that she had said, that had piqued his interest.

"Some things had happened? What things?"

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