A/N: Okay, well, I've had this for a little while, and I've just been trying to decide if I should post it or not, so I guess I will, since you guys were very positive about the first part. Don't worry...I'm still working on "Not to Yield." ;)
2
Zeb was working, scrubbing carbon scoring off of the hull. They were berthed in the starport on Garel so that Hera could scout around for a job or two.
Hera had gone to pay their starport fees and meet up with one of their regular clients. She had left Ezra with Zeb after checking with the boy to make sure that he was comfortable with that. The kit followed her like a shadow ever since the talk with him in his room four days ago; he was obviously devoted to her.
While the kid obviously adored Hera, Zeb knew Ezra was a little less sure about the giant Lasat. In fact, he'd been a little surprised that the kid had agreed to stay with him at all. He had been pretty timid when Zeb was around.
So, he was even more surprised when Ezra's head slowly peeped up from the hatch leading back into the Ghost. "Can...can I come up here?"
"Sure, but be careful. You fall off and Hera'll kill both of us." Zeb chuckled. "Me first, though."
The boy climbed out to stand on the hull, and Zeb looked him over appraisingly. He'd gained a little weight in the week and a half he'd been around. The dark hollows under his eyes were fading, but he still looked too pale.
"Feeling okay?" Zeb asked, glancing back to his work. "Eat some breakfast?"
Ezra nodded.
"You're looking better." He said, spraying the streaks on the hull, then scrubbing at them. Out of the corner of his eye could see the boy move from one foot to the other, open his mouth as if he was going to say something, then shut it. Finally, he worked up enough courage to speak.
"W-want some help?"
Zeb looked up at him, a little surprised. "Sure, kit, if you want to. Grab a rag and a can of cleaner out of the tool box."
Ezra did. He watched Zeb for a moment, then began the same process on a nearby black mark. Together they worked in silence.
"You're kinda quiet today, huh?" Zeb asked.
Ezra's eyes darted to the Lasat, a guilty look on his face. "S-sorry," he said, the word struggling to get out.
"No, it's okay. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not gonna bite your head off if you talk, though." Zeb thought back to the past week and how quiet Ezra had been. For some reason, it bothered him. Kits on his planet had always been talking. They would have talked your kriffing ear off if you let them. Ezra walked around like a shadow. It wasn't right.
"I…I wasn't…supposed to t-talk." Ezra murmured, keeping his eyes on the spot he was wiping. "Talking wasn't allowed un-unless I was a-asked a question. I-if I did…"
Zeb looked up, sitting back on his heels. "What?" he asked gently.
"I'd be in trouble. Uh…I'd get…hit."
Zeb struggled to remain calm, trying to process what the kit had just said. "You know we're not like that, right? We'd never hurt you."
Ezra looked up, then his eyes slid away. "I…I know. But…it's s-still…h-hard."
Zeb found he was now clenching his fists. If he could only get his hands around the Inquisitor's throat…he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It was then he caught Ezra's reaction to his own angry body language. "Ah, kid. I'm sorry. I just…"
Ezra had lowered his head and was cringing as if expecting a blow. "I-I didn't mean to make you angry."
"Karabast, kid…You didn't." He got to his feet and approached Ezra before kneeling down again on one knee. "I'm angry at him…that monster…for…for treatin' you like that, that's all. I hear that kind of stuff and I just wanna go bash some Imperials."
"Oh…" Ezra couldn't meet Zeb's eyes. The Lasat watched him bite his bottom lip so hard that he left marks on it, as he struggled not to cry.
"Anyone wantin' to treat you like that again's gotta go through me." Zeb reached out to hug Ezra, just because he looked so sad. Immediately, the kid shied back, afraid. He was scrambling to his feet before Zeb could apologize. The kit took a few steps back and stared away, afraid to meet Zeb's eyes.
"S-sorry…I…I'm sorry…" And Ezra was gone, back to the hatch.
"Kid…I didn't mean…Karabast," Zeb muttered, mentally kicking himself. He should have known that the kid wasn't ready for a hug. It had just been second nature to try and comfort Ezra with a hug. The boy was jittery around Hera, and was even less at ease around Zeb, so how stupid did you have to be to try that? he asked himself. He rubbed his forehead and silently cursed again.
"-And so, that's where he is, I guess. Didn't even eat lunch." Zeb shook his head, holding a cup of caf in both hands. "Hera, I'm terrible at this," he murmured. "I'm a karking idiot."
"No." Hera inhaled the scent of her own cup of caf, but it didn't help soothe her worried heart. She had realized she loved the kid from the day she took his hands and promised to keep him safe. Zeb was just being…Zeb. Trying to help the kid would be second nature to the Lasat. He had a soft spot for the weak and helpless. "Okay. Look. We just have to go slow. Zeb…you've got a good heart…if someone's suffering, I know it's your first desire to help. He just doesn't know that yet. I'll talk to him."
Zeb nodded, still looking glum.
"Cheer up. It's going to work out, okay?" She dipped her head to catch his eye. "We're going to help him."
Zeb nodded again, still not convinced; she took her cup and headed for Ezra's room.
Hera knocked and listened intently. There was a long silence, and she heard no movement. Finally, she rapped again, once more. "It's me," she said softly.
"C..come in."
She opened the door to see Ezra standing by the bed, looking very nervous and uncomfortable. He definitely thought he was in trouble.
She approached slowly, but casually. "I came to see how you were," she said simply.
Ezra nodded in response, saying nothing.
She gestured to the bed. "Sit down." He dropped onto the bed like a stone.
Hera pulled a chair across the room where Ezra was. "Are you thinking that we're upset with you?" she asked gently.
"Y-you're not?" Ezra whispered, daring to look up.
"Neither one of us." Hera reassured him. "Ezra, sweetheart, there's nothing for us to be upset over." She leaned in, holding her cup in both hands.
"B-but Zeb…he got a-angry."
She shook her head gently. "Not at you, Ezra. Zeb got angry at the person who hurt you, that's all. He's…well, Ezra, like I said before, he's got a soft heart, but don't dare tell him that I told you that." She set her cup down on the floor and folded her hands together.
Ezra nodded jerkily. "O-oh. Ok." He seemed to be thinking deeply.
"I know he scared you when he reached out to you, but he was going to give you a hug. He didn't mean to frighten you…Ezra…he cares about you so much. And he wanted me to tell you that."
"I knew…but it…" he shook his head, unable to describe the sudden panic he'd felt. "I felt like I couldn't breathe and I didn't know what to do and I just ran. Th…then I…th-thought Zeb would b-be mad at m-m…" Tears gleamed in his averted eyes before slipping down his face.
"Zeb wouldn't be mad at you, love. Not for anything. We know. We know you're struggling, and we're not going to get mad at you about anything. We're here for you, no matter what it takes."
Ezra looked up at her incredulously. He could feel in the Force or whatever it was, that she meant every word. He swiped at his eyes and sniffled. "How can you be so nice to me?" He whispered.
"Because that's who we are, and who you are. Ezra, I can see a strength and a kindness in you. I believe we were meant to find you, and that you were meant to be with us. And…if you're ever ready to talk about what happened, we'll be here to listen. If you're not, that's okay too."
She stood up. "Come out and help me with dinner later if you would like to." She bent down to grab her cup when she heard him move from the bed.
He was too afraid to say anything, but when he got close enough, she realized what he wanted. Gently, as if holding a fragile bird, she wrapped her arms around him. In the circle of her arms, he felt brave enough to hug back. Then he embraced her fiercely, burying his face against her shoulder.
She kissed him on the top of the head. "Ezra. You're going to be fine. We're going to make sure of it."
Safe in the circle of her arms, he felt like it might just be true.
Later that day, Hera was in the kitchen, working to slice up vegetables when she heard Ezra enter the common area. Zeb was still working on the broken comm up Ezra. He felt pretty bad about what had happened with Ezra and had searched to find something to do with his hands, to keep him from mentally kicking himself.
"Hey kit." Zeb was keeping his voice low and easy, so as not to scare the child.
"Z-Zeb." Ezra came over slowly as Hera turned a little to watch out of the corner of her eye. "What're you doing?"
"Fixin' this comm." Zeb said, keeping his eyes on his work for a moment before looking up. "See, it's got a problem with the power source, so I'm replacing a few parts. When I get it done, it's for you."
"For me?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. "W-why?"
"So we can keep in touch if we ever get separated or something. You're part of the team now, so…you get a comm. It's standard equipment for crew."
"Part of the team…I mean…crew?" Ezra echoed, looking over Zeb's hands as they worked.
"Yeah, kit." Zeb smiled. Ezra could feel the love in it, now that he was a little more calm around the big Lasat. "Of course, you're part of the crew."
"Wow." Ezra's voice had an awed note to it. "C-an I fight the Empire too?"
Zeb nodded. "We're probably gonna take it easy for a little while, so you can heal up, but then we'll get back to business, mucking up the Emperor's plans." He chuckled.
Ezra stood there beside Zeb watching him work with interest. Then a cloud seemed to pass over him and he struggled for a second before whispering, "Zeb?"
"Hmm?" The Lasat picked up a screwdriver and continued to work, glancing up.
"S-sorry about b-before." He murmured. When Zeb looked up, Ezra saw the depth of the Lasat's caring and it went a long way toward making him feel safe. "I just…I panicked. H-Hera told me you were trying t-to help. I'm uh…I'm really sorry."
"I'm not really good at the mushy stuff…feelings and the like," Zeb admitted, putting down his tools and focusing entirely on Ezra. "But I'll get better. I promise. And I am always here to help."
Ezra nodded, moving closer to Zeb's side to watch his work on the broken comm, like a stray Loth-kitten wanting attention. It made Hera smile as she turned back to her work in the kitchen.
The two of them were going to be just fine. A few minutes later, Ezra entered the kitchen, looking into the pot where she had water that was just about to start boiling.
"Can I help?"
Hera smiled. "That'd be great. Go to that cabinet over there and pull out three ration packs of roasted nerf."
Ezra went to the cabinet, looking through it. He kept looking as Hera slid the vegetables into the water. Finally he came back with three packages. They were all the same, but they were a freeze-dried mynock dish. "This…is this right? I…I'm not sure."
Hera felt her stomach clench as she realized Ezra had not been able to decipher the words on the packages. They didn't have pictures on them. Could he even read, she wondered? She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You were close. The mynock is mine. Zeb's not too big on that one, though. Let me show you where I keep the other meals."
Together they found the nerf, and Hera watched Ezra study the packages as she began to prepare them. Was he memorizing the look of the words for next time? He clearly was able to match the letters on the three mynock packages, so perhaps he knew a little. She'd have to think about how to address this.
"What's…wrong?" Ezra asked tentatively, sensing her unease.
"Nothing, love. Just thinking." Hera murmured, then turned to him. "If you feel up to it tomorrow, we can go shopping for some more things for you…clothes, shoes and the like. You'll need a jacket too."
"O-okay," he nodded.
"Good. Can you take these forks and knives to the table? This should be ready in just a moment."
It was indeed a week and a half later that Hera felt Ezra had grown comfortable enough around them to address his reading issue. By then she'd noticed several times where he had gotten confused due to not being able to read well.
They happened to be doing laundry at the clothes fresher when she thought of a good way to broach the subject. She'd been teaching him how to do different tasks like make up a bunk, cook a meal and wash clothes. "So. Are you excited to learn all this?" she asked.
"Yeah." Ezra nodded. "I-I guess I missed out on some stuff my mom didn't get to teach me to do."
Hera nodded slowly. Ezra began to measure out the detergent. "How long did you go to school before they were taken, Ezra?" Her voice was gentle as she laid a hand on his shoulder. He was pouring the detergent she had showed him how to measure into the washer.
"Only f-for a-a y-year." The stutter was back.
That was not a good thing, Hera knew, but she pressed on. "Sweetheart…" she began, struggling to figure out how to say what she needed to say.
"I know. I-I'm p-pr-pretty st-stupid…when it com-comes to r-reading a-and s-stuff." He hung his head.
She immediately knelt in front of him and took his hands. "Ezra. No. You just weren't taught. That's not the same as being 'stupid.'"
Tears were standing in his eyes as he looked into hers.
"You understand, right? For example…you survived on the streets for a long time, Ezra. There are things you know how to do that I don't know how to, like finding food or making a shelter."
"S-sometimes if y-you ask, people'll let you do stuff for t-them, and they gi-give you money, or food or something. Th..then sometimes…you find stuff people threw out…or you h-have t-to st-steal…but I tr-tried not to, Hera. I knew it was wr-wrong. My p-parents taught m-me…."
A tear streaked down his cheek and she hugged his thin form. "Don't feel guilty. You did what you had to do to survive." She smoothed his hair down, then released him when he was ready. "Tell me more, love."
"I…I don't know…"
"Well, for example, what did you do for shelter?" Her even green eyes watched him.
"That's e-easy. There's an abandoned communications tower outside of the town in Lothal. It's warm in winter if…if you plug up all the gaps. Oh…" His eyes opened wide. "I think, uh maybe I know what you mean…"
She nodded. "Ezra, you're so smart already, that reading will be a breeze. There are so many free education programs on the holonet, that we can teach you how to read if you want. It won't happen overnight, but you can do it."
"Okay." He nodded. "I'll t-try really hard."
He answered so quickly that Hera held up a hand. "This is not something you have to do for me, or Zeb. It's for you, Ezra. Think about it for a couple of days…there's no hurry." She stood up and closed the clothes fresher, putting away the detergent.
She felt his hand on her arm. "Y-you m-mean…y-ou wouldn't be dis-disappointed if I didn't? Like…if I…w-wasn't good at it…or not smart enough…? Y-you wou-would st-still c-care ab-about me?" The fearful innocence in his eyes and his halting, frightened speech made Hera bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. He was testing her limits to see where her love began and ended. It was probably subconsciously, and he didn't know he was doing it, but to her it was loud and clear.
Her response was a hug that brought tears to her eyes. "Ezra Bridger. I'll always care about you. No matter what," she whispered into his dark hair.
