Author's Note: You're going to hate me...

Kylo Ren was pissed the morning after he returned to the base. He had arrived very late in the evening the night before and knew Ash was asleep. As tempted as he was to go wake her up and annoy her, he didn't. There was a new day approaching, he would do it then.

And then he was called into a meeting with Hux to discuss their findings. While they ultimately did not find the piece of the map to Skywalker, they did find a new lead. Normally, he'd be very happy. Yet, he was still pretty moody and Hux knew it. He was also mad that Phasma wasn't being forced to this meeting too.

"Supreme Leader will be pleased when he hears of your new lead." Hux began as he skimmed the reports submitted by Mitaka. "When will you move in on this?"

Kylo exhaled deeply through his nostrils before answering. "As soon as Phasma charts the mission. It'll probably take a week, maybe two." Hux nodded as he scrolled through the reports on his datapad. Kylo was getting visibly agitated as he glared at the man next to him. "Is that it, can I go?"

Hux snapped. "No, you cannot go." Ren shifted slightly as Hux sighed, tossing the datapad on the conference room table. "You are aware-" He corrected himself. "No, I'm sure you are very aware of the danger you're putting us all in."

Now, Kylo was confused. "Danger?" He asked, his brow arched as he waited for the answer.

"I don't care what you and Ashlyn are doing." Kylo immediately tried to protest, only to have Hux continue. "I don't care. But whatever it is, you need to keep it hidden. While Phasma and I may be fine in letting it go on, I cannot say the same for the Supreme Leader."

For the first time in a long time, Kylo Ren was the one uncomfortable at a meeting and not Hux. "There's nothing going on."

"Phasma saw you two!" Hux sighed, rubbing his temples as he regained his composure. "Again, I do not care. We will keep it covered up as long as you do. Just don't make it obvious."

Kylo rolled his eyes. "She's my apprentice, we are going to be in what is considered compromising situations when it comes to training."

"Just remember who you could be bringing down with you." Hux said, looking at Kylo again. Something in his expression got to him; it was genuine concern and yet an expression of 'I'd never tell'. He silently appreciated it. "I know you think I abhor you, and quite frankly, some days I do. However, I respect you. Phasma does as well. You could at least consider us within this consequence if things went horribly wrong."

Kylo's lips formed a thin line as he thought about it. While nothing had been going on with Ashlyn, he could see why they'd think that. Then again, did he even know what was ultimately going on with Ashlyn? He knew he had a duty to protect her, but he also had that same duty to protect Hux and Phasma. "I will work on it." He begrudgingly agreed.

Hux sighed, somewhat relief and somewhat pain. "Thank you." As Hux was about to speak again, he noticed Kylo was suddenly looking ill. He seemed physically pained as his body tensed. "Ren?" He asked as the man across from him suddenly stood and stormed out of the room. The last word on his lips being 'Ashlyn'. Hux knew in that moment, things were going to get more complicated. Especially when his datapad vibrated as large letters in red appeared across the screen "EMERGENCY"

Ashlyn was feeling good. No, Ashlyn Novafall was feeling great. A smile plastered on her face that seemed like it would never fade. Everything was coming together nicely, with Force training, combat training and now being reunited with her maintenance crew. She was on cloud nine. Yes, that was it, and not the impending return of Kylo Ren.
She knew he'd be impressed with her, she meditated like he had asked, and would be proud to know her focus was at it's peak.

Something in the way he praised her. Though those times seemed far and few in between, Ash would take those moments with pride and grace. A mental picture of how good things could be, how good he could be. And above all how good he could be to her.

Four months ago, his opinion would not have mattered. Granted, his opinion sometimes still didn't. Yet, something was changing and not just inside Ashlyn but also in Kylo. Whether the two wanted to admit it or not. They were smiling more and rarely fought. Okay, they still fought. They fought quite often. However, it didn't feel like they fought as much.

She was humming today, which did not go unnoticed by her peers in the launch bay as Ash worked on an engine that had been removed from a nearby TIE fighter. She skipped around, smiled to herself and hummed like no one had been watching. They, of course, had been. And while most of the team attempted to ignore the happiness radiating from their star member, one could not ignore it. Yet, he kept his distance today in fear an angry Kylo Ren would reappear and force choke him again. Even if he was banned from the maintenance deck... like the threatening words of Ash could really keep him at bay. He simply was being good until the urge to be awful kicked in, which ultimately would reach peak naughtiness soon. It was bound to happen.

"Hey, Ash!" Sid's voice came from the commlink. "I need a data pad, I left mine in my office. Can you bring me yours? The original schematics for this thing are not something I remember and I'm having issues here with an uncooperative cooling system."

Ash laughed. "Sure, Sid. Where are you?"
"The freighter behind you."

Ash turned to see in the distance the black and old freighter in the middle of the launch bay. In that moment, her chest tightened and her legs wouldn't move as she stared at the all too familiar scene before her. As if she had been dreaming, everything began to play out like it had so many times before.

Moments ticked by slowly and Ash could feel her pulse in her ears. Thudding and thumping, her heart raced against her chest as the spark grew in the front of the engine compartment. "SID LOOK OUT!" She screamed. No one had time to react as she began running towards the freighter. Ash didn't make it too far before the freighter exploded.

Ash was thrown backwards and landed with a hard thud on the floor of the launch bay. The pulsating in her ears now replaced with ringing as everything in her vision swirled and meshed together. Muffled shouting was heard around her, followed by screaming. The smell of burning metal and engine parts filling her nostrils as she forced herself to sit up.
Her head was throbbing now but Ashlyn was determined to try everything in her power to save Sid. She had to save him, she could still hear him screaming in the cockpit of the freighter.

Forcing herself to her feet, Ash began to stumble towards the commotion where maintenance and flight crews ran in a panic trying to put out the flames. However, Ashlyn was already being pulled back. Her body being forced away from the burning freighter as she tried to resist and move forward. "I HAVE TO GET SID!" She screamed as she thrashed around yet still being forced back by a much stronger being. "LET ME GET TO HIM!" She tried again, this time tears streaming down her face as he continued to pull her back.

"It's too late, Ash!" He said sternly. "You can't do anything now." She still tried, her body feeling defeat as the cause soon became lost to her. Kylo Ren picked her up bridal style and carried her out of the chaotic launch bay and to his apartment as Ash continued to kick and scream.

No one had said anything as Kylo Ren carried the yelling and panicking girl to his apartment. He quickly closed the door behind them and walked over to the bed before gently placing Ashlyn down. "I have to go back." She tried angrily, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she argued. "I need to help him!"

"He's dead, Ash." His tone was harsh. He didn't know how to make her see otherwise. She wouldn't listen to reason, he knew that.

Ash's jaw fell slack as she scrambled for words. "I saw this happen..." She said. "I could have stopped this"

"No, you couldn't have. Just like your father and your brother and mother. You couldn't stop it. You can't save everyone."

She stopped. Her entire body freezing over his words. He knew he overstepped his boundaries but he had to. He knew he did. Kylo Ren felt awful, ready to apologize. However, what happened next he didn't expect. "Kylo..." She said as she finally broke down into full sobs. Without hesitation he was next to her, pulling her to his chest and holding her tightly as she sobbed uncontrollably. "He's gone. They're all gone" She sobbed.

He gently shushed her, rocking her in his arms as he held her close, letting her cry as much as she needed to.

He felt it. The sheer and utter panic the moment she realized what was happening before her. He didn't even take the time to put on his helmet, he knew Ash would need him. He could feel it. In the seconds that the freighter exploded and Ash saw what was happening, he felt everything. He felt every ounce of pain in every fiber of his being that she was feeling in that moment. He also knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he needed to keep her safe. Not just in that moment but always. He'd worry about what Hux had said another day, for now he knew where he was needed. And that was right in this moment, holding the sobbing red haired girl in his arms.

Ashlyn had cried herself to sleep, Kylo Ren didn't have the heart to wake her up. Instead, he laid her down on his bed, pulled the blanket over her and let her sleep. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, he wished he could just make all the pain she was feeling go away. Even in her sleep, he felt it tugging at his heartstrings. Ashlyn wasn't like him, she couldn't detach herself from people like he had done. She still cared, and while that was a problem in his eyes, it's what made Ashlyn ultimately too good for him. She was a neutral party when it came to the Force, borrowing and taking from both Dark and Light, yet, overall she was a good person. Something he knew nothing about. Maybe when he was younger he did, but not at this point in his life. However, he did care about one thing just a little bit more than his plan for taking over the base… and that was her. He hated it.

He sat on the couch, his eyes falling back to Ashlyn every so often as he lost himself in thought. Kylo wondered how his Mother would be right now had she known the feelings that were tearing at his insides. She'd tell him 'I told you so', she always believed he wasn't a monster. He refused to accept that. Regardless, she'd be relishing in the fact that he'd been wrong about not caring for anything.

Perhaps he had been wrong about a lot of things; between what Hux had said and what his Mother had always told him. Maybe things were more complicated than he realized.

He felt her stir on the bed next to him, slowly he removed himself from the couch and over to the bed. Kylo carefully sat down on the very edge of the bed by her feet, waiting for her to wake up. When she did, she blinked a few times. He could sense her confusion as it quickly turned into contentment as she settled in.

"Ashlyn?" His voice was the softest she had ever heard from him. She couldn't speak, instead, she began to cry again. Her heart ached; why Sid? Of all people, why him? He held the base together, he held the team together.

Kylo Ren felt the pain tugging at her again because ultimately, it affected him too. With a long exhale, he did the only thing he could think to do. He crawled into the bed behind Ashlyn, wrapped his arm around her midsection and held her close to his body as she continued to sob.

No matter what she did, it seemed like the people she cared for most, she'd see their deaths before it happened. Her nightmares were Force dreams, and the most she came to understand it, the more she hated it. She could still picture their faces, her Father's, her Mother's, her little brother. He was so young, full of life and taken too soon. Now Sid. She felt useless and worst of all, she felt somewhat responsible. Ash had seen these unfortunate tragedies before they came to light and did nothing. She couldn't do anything and she knew that. Yet, the feeling of not being able to was more than suffocating. Everything was falling apart and Ashlyn felt like she was collapsing.

She had woken up very late in the evening, her eyes sore and adjusting to the night as she looked around the familiar apartment covered in darkness. Ash stretched her legs, hearing a light crack from being curled up in one position for so long, and slowly sat up. She was exhausted despite being asleep for so long; it was more mentally than anything.

Everything was silent around her, say for the crackle of the fireplace to her right and the gentle hum that seemed a little less comforting today. She knew Kylo Ren was awake, she could feel his energy somewhere in the apartment. This was only confirmed when he exited the bathroom, his hair wet from having just showered. He had trouble sleeping as well; with Ashlyn in the state she was in, he couldn't simply sleep. Instead, he stayed awake until she needed him again. He had freshened up thinking Ashlyn would be out for a while longer, and looked pleasantly surprised when he saw her sitting on the edge of his bed. Any other day, he knew Ash would have freaked out over his lack of shirt, while he'd love to watch her squirm, this was not the time. "Hey." She said quietly, sending all sorts of confusion and concern at the other Force user. He couldn't read what she was feeling, it was almost like a wall was between them.

"Hey." He replied in a cautious tone.

After a few moments of silence, Ashlyn was the first to speak. "I'm sorry, I should probably go."

"I'd rather you didn't." He said, causing Ashlyn to look up at him again and very unsure what he meant. "I can't watch you if you're on your own." A disappointing answer but she understood. After a moment, she nodded. He was right, she was in no state to take care of herself right now. She needed to be, she had done this song and dance what felt like one too many times before. It never got easier. "I have something for you." He said, drawing Ash out of her thought as he walked over to the bookshelf. He skimmed for a moment before grabbing a rather old book that seemed to be breaking at it's bindings. With purpose, he walked back over to Ashlyn and sat down next to her on the bed. "I think this might be helpful in your trainings." Ash couldn't make out what the letters on the front said, they weren't any language she could immediately recognize. "It's a book by a very old and dated creature, but he was somewhat smart when it came to the Force, especially for those who learn later in life."

She exhaled through her nostrils as she looked at the book. "You didn't think this would have been helpful when I first started training?"

He smirked. "I wanted to see you suffer a little first." He teased, hoping she'd smile a little bit. She didn't, but her mood shifted slightly to a quick positive pulse before ultimately turning dark again.

Ash gently took the book and placed it on her lap, opening it and flipping through it's contents. "Thank you, Kylo." She closed the book, keeping it securely on her lap. "It's funny-" She said. "Whenever I fall asleep in this room, we never have our shared dreams."

"I suppose that solves it then." He said. "You'll just have to sleep in my room in order to keep you out of my dreams." He was kidding.

A small smile appeared, small enough to make all the difference to either of them, and as quickly as it appeared it was gone. "I'm tired of watching all my loved ones die and not being able to do anything."

"No one can stop death, Ashlyn." Kylo said before taking back his statement. "Well, there was one who could. However, he was deep in the Dark Side. He utilized it to a certain depth that even I couldn't fathom delving into."

Ash pursed her lips. "Why not? It seems like the Dark Side has all the power. Isn't that what you want?"

"To an extent." He said. "The Dark Side may be powerful, but it also seduces those who use it. They are blinded by it. So in the end, is it really all that powerful?"

"What about the other side?"

He snorted. "The Light Side?"

"Don't mock me, I've had a rough day." She said sternly.

He rolled his eyes before continuing. "The Light also has its weaknesses. It's better to find a balance between both."

Ash nodded. "Do you balance them?"

Kylo shrugged. "Sometimes. I tend to draw my power from anger, which is more of a Dark Side idea."

"What about me?" She asked.

"You?" He thought for a moment, trying to pinpoint exactly what Ashlyn was. He had thought about it often, she was a borrow of both yet not perfectly balanced either. "You have no true side, you channel what you need even when you don't understand what you need."

"I apparently don't understand a lot." She said.

"You will." He reassured her.

She stretched her arms above her head, feeling her spine stretch felt so good on her body. "Will every dream I have come true?" She asked.

Kylo thought for a moment. "Not necessarily. Sometimes they can be warnings, other times they're definite. Unfortunately, I can't really give you a clear answer."

Ash sighed, defeated in her own right. "The Force is awful."

Kylo chuckled. "It can be." He looked at her, noticing just how exhausted she still looked. It had been barely two days and she was so torn up. He wished he could just make it go away, for both their sakes. He couldn't and he knew that. "That's why I'm going to help you control it."

"I just feel so weak; I couldn't help them." She said sadly. "Whenever I close my eyes, I still see it happening."

"You'll learn to be stronger than that; one day you'll have more control over your emotions and the emotional drain when something like this happens. I have no doubt you're feeling not just your own sadness, but other's as well." He explained. "For now, it's okay to feel weak." Ash said nothing, as she pulled her knees to her chest. She was exhausted, mentally and physically at this point. She needed this time to grieve, along with everyone else that knew Sid. It seemed so surreal that he was gone so suddenly, she expected him to send her a snarky message on her datapad any minute now. Of course, it would never happen. Not anymore. "You should rest." Kylo said, removing himself from the bed.

"Kylo?" He stopped, looking down at the vulnerable red head on his bed; she looked so small being curled up as she sat there. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way but-"

She didn't have to say it as he exhaled deeply before giving a quick nod. "Let me just get dressed. I'm sure that would be more comforting."

He walked away and towards his wardrobe, where he grabbed a loose fitting black shirt, of course it was black, Ashlyn thought to herself as she turned on her side and laid back down on the bed. Her gaze stayed on the man, who was back over to the bed almost as quickly as he left. Silently, he climbed over the girl and laid down next to her, wrapping his arm around her midsection and pulling her to his chest. He felt Ashlyn relax against him, and soon fall asleep all-together. The much welcomed dreamless sleep washing over her as the two slept the best they had in such a very long time.

Final Thoughts and Reviews: IM SORRY. I RUIN EVERYTHING. BUT AT LEAST THERE WAS SOMETHING NICE OUT OF IT. Remember to review... I'm gonna go hide in a corner for a while.

Reviews:

kuppcake: Taka is about to step in big doo-doo this time. Thanks for reading!

.2017: Thank you!

Tanmar: I updated and it was a sad update! I'm sorry! Please don't hate me!