"How have you been, Beca?" Chloe asked, taking a seat in her usual place. Beca shrugged her shoulders.
"Much better. I'm still having crappy thoughts, but they aren't bothering me so much."
"And the other thing?"
"I've spent a lot of time with my dad. A lot. And I've been eating so much I think I'm gonna explode at any moment. Oh, and it was super funny having to sneak out so I could smoke a cigarette. But it'll remain my 'guilty pleasure'. At least for a little while."
"What do you mean?"
"At our last appointment, you said a few things that really spoke to me. I dunno. I need to get some control over my life. I'm thinking about quitting my job and giving music a second chance. Actually, give myself a second chance. That sounded poetic, I don't recognize myself aymore. But, since I have to spend my time to make money, at least I spend it doing something that I love and that makes me happy, right?" Chloe remained quiet for a while, like she was studying Beca.
"I'm speechless."
"Did I leave you speechless? But the English language has so many words! We need to report this to someone, it's outraging." Beca said, raising her hands.
"I'm starting to feel like you're helping yourself."
"I don't think you got what I said, doc. You gave me the speech, a really impressive one. You're helping me."
"It was out of context."
"I just gave myself the freedom to give it a context that suited me. It was your help."
"I'm really happy for you, Beca. I hope everything works out."
"Me too. But I've already asked Lily for some favors. Vodoo and other things. Just to be sure, you know?"
"I'm speechless again."
"Twice in a row? I'm on a roll!"
"Congratulations. It doesn't happen very often."
"I believe you, doc. At some point I thought you had eaten a dictionary. I was worried about your diet. Eating paper isn't healthy. I've learned it the hard way. And I'm pretty sure that you're on a very healthy diet."
"Is that so? Why?"
"Because you're in shape." said Beca, her face blushing a little bit.
"I'm pretty confident about all this." replied Chloe, wiggling her eyebrows.
"You should be and I'm not just kissing your ass."
"I guess we've established that."
"Please don't make everything so literal, doc. You're killing my sarcasm. You make me feel at ease, it's your fault. I talk to you like I'm talking to my best friend, if I had one."
"You don't?"
"Well, Amy doesn't count, she's crazy. Screw it, I guess she's my best friend. Everything I tell you is confidential, right? She must never know I just admitted she's my best friend. She talks about a lot of weird rituals best friends do in Australia. Probably it's all made up, but better to be safe than sorry."
"But you have more friends, right?"
"Not many, to be honest. Do you have a bff, doc?"
"Yes, her name is Aubrey. She doesn't sound nearly as interesting as your friend, but she's a really nice person when you get to know her."
"Any other friends?"
"Not many, actually. My social skills died when I graduated from college."
"How come?"
"Have we swapped places again, Beca?"
"Sorry."
"Just kidding. I don't know. I threw myself at work, I lost contact with a lot of people, I don't like to go out so much anymore."
"Oh, you were a party animal, weren't you?"
"I attended some parties, of course, but I wouldn't consider myself a party animal."
"I imagine it would be hard for you to go out. Lots of guys flirting with you."
"Yes, I had some boys trying to take me out, not as many as you may think. But it was easier back then, making friends, I mean. Now, not so much."
"If I may give you some advice, with all due respect, talking like you've just swallowed a dictionary doesn't help you getting friends. Did you always talk like that?"
"No, but I'm not saying anything else regarding this subject. But I'll take your advice. I'll try to say simpler words."
"Thank you. I'll no longer have to say I have a dictionary at my bedside table. Oh, and you should go out with me and my friends some day. That way you could do me a big favor and just tell me what the hell is going on with Amy and Lily. It's too weird."
"That may not be a good idea."
"Why?"
"People think I'm strange."
"How so?"
"Well, besides the way I speak, being a psychologist leads many people to think that I'm constantly analyzing what they say and what they do. And I'm too forward sometimes."
"How can anyone be too forward?"
"You don't want to find out."
"As a matter of fact, I really do."
"We should get back to your anxiety?"
"That creeper can wait. Come on, be forward with me. Say something about my looks, the way I dress, something".
"You've been warned. You wear too much black even if it suits you somehow. You have really beautiful eyes and I think the eyeliner suits you, but you should fix it during the day. When you get here from work, I always feel tempted to ask you if someone punched you in the eye. And your nails. You forgot to tell me that you chew your nails and that can be something related to anxiety. I would be anxious too if I chewed my nails considering the amount of germs that come into contact with our hands every day. Your shoelaces are always untied and I'm scared for you because, eventually, you'll trip and fall."
"Ouch."
"And that's why I don't have a very active social life. And I sounded just like Aubrey."
"My offer still stands."
"Some kind of cure for my poor social life? Or are you conducting a study?"
"Yes, get you out with a group of friends and see how you behave so we can handle your case. First I have to see if you're saying the truth."
"So you think I might be lying?"
"You know doc, I don't understand anything about psychology. But mothers can be excellent psychologists, even if they don't always realize it. My mom told me something very important when I was a teenager. At the time, of course, we are too stupid and immature to realize the importance of our parents' advice. Fortunately, we're able to give them value later."
"And what advice was that?"
"It wasn't a piece of advice. Doc, you've probably noticed that I like to give my own context to things. There was a day when I got home and I was really angry. Something happened to me at school, I don't remember what. My mom wanted to know what happened. I told her I felt like no one liked me or saw something useful in what I did or said. And my mom told me that all would be easier if I could see myself the way she saw me. Of course I didn't care about those words back then. I just wanted to stay in my bedroom, watching 'Friends" and eating gigantic amounts of popcorn. That's the thing about opinions. On one hand, we want our opinion to prevail, without caring about anyone's else opinion, and on the other hand, we still want to know what everybody else thinks of us."
"I couldn't have explained it better."
"That's why I said I didn't know if you were telling me the truth. You may think that you're socially awkward and that people think the same way. But, if you had the perception that other people have of you, maybe you'd find their opinion to be different from yours."
"It's plausible."
"That's why, and if you want to, you can take this as thank you for all your pro bono work. You help me with my anxiety attacks and I help you with your social skills. What do you say? I promise I won't take you to weird places."
"I don't know, it would be a little-"
"Again, I'm not kissing your ass. I will introduce you to some friends of mine. I feel kind of bad for taking up your time and not giving you anything in return. I already know that you value your time."
"Wouldn't your friends find it weird if you showed up with your psychologist?"
"If anything, you'll find it weird that I'm hanging out with those losers. But, you're not completely wrong. I will have to teach you an old game from my college years."
"What game?"
"Back in college we would go to many different places every weekend. Just to be safe and have some fun out of it, we would create different identities. We would keep our real names and everything else was made up."
"I don't remember that game."
"I remember going to a karaoke bar once and I was really shy about going on stage to sing. That night my name was still Beca, but I wasn't getting a music degree. Nope. I was being secretly trained by NASA to go on a mission to Mars."
"If I may ask, what was the point of creating an alternative life?"
"I dunno. Maybe because routine can get boring and once a week we had a chance to create a different life. I wasn't actually a different person, I just had another routine and new stories."
"I think that would be a good social experience."
"But you have to plan things right. Imagine that a guy shows up out of nowhere. You need to know your facs."
"So you're telling me that this creativity is also used for flirting?"
"Let's just say it's a side effect. What would be your alternative job? Oh, nothing that involves politics, religion, or sports. It's boring and nobody wants to know."
"Very well. How about being an actress?"
"Hm, it's dangerous. They will ask you for references. 'Have I seen you in some tv show? A movie?' Amy used it once and she actually got away with it. But it's still dangerous."
"Yes, it's understandable. A cop?"
"Already tried it. If you want to hear really bad pick up lines, be my guest. "
"This is more complicated than it sounds."
"Oh, don't be fooled. It's hard."
"No doubt. I think I already know."
"Introduce yourself."
"My name is Chloe, I'm a computer technician, I work in a small repair shop. I do software installations and hardware upgrades. I work from Monday to Friday, nine to five. On the side, I'm part of an acapella group, singing at weddings every other weekend."
"Why do I believe you really do all of that stuff?"
"Maybe I do. Was I convincing?"
"Yeah, I'm impressed. I think my friends would fall for it." Beca said with a smile.
Next chapter, they'll be out of the office and Chloe will get to know Beca's friends. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and I would like to think everyone that left a review. I know I apologize way too much about my mistakes, I'm a grammar nazi with portuguese, but I can't do the same with english. I won't apologize this time, at least. Thank you so much for your words and thank you to everyone that's following the story.