Chapter Four: Steamed Lambs

A/N: I was originally going to cut this chapter as it's not that important and it cuts into Nick and Judy's time for the investigation. Not to mention the plot hole I have to avoid due to an old epilogue. But I wanted to bring in Sharla and what she's been up to since her and Judy were kids. Turns out, nothing much. I also take the opportunity to break up Michael and Cotton as that little ship wasn't sailing anywhere and being a girl chaser fits into Michael's jerk persona.

12:50pm At the parking lot of the BBQ grill and chapel.

Nick and Judy were packing the kids back in the van. Nick had cleaned up Michael while Judy got a change of clothes. Nick got Petey buckled into his bunny booster while Spots sat back up front. She was a little upset about the barfing incident. "Give me a warning next time Mike! You got your barf all over my arms! It was so gross!"

"It was your fault." Judy replied as she was buckling in Cotton. "You don't give a rabbit fish!"

As Judy was buckling Cotton in, the young lamb grabbed her and held her close. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and into her wool. "WA-A-A-A-A-A-AH!"

"What's wrong honey?" Judy asked.

"I...SNIFF!...I'm so ha-appy! Just over a week ago, I was gonna be sacrificed and now...SOB! Now I have a daddy AND a mommy againnnn!"

Judy hugged back tightly. "It's okay honey. We're all one big family now."

"I'm s-sorry I wasn't as nice to you as I am to daddy! I know you were angry with him back at the farm but,...SNIFF!....but you turned out to be so nice! I love you mommy!"

Judy cried as she held Cotton tight. "I love you too Chrissy! You're my baby girl now!"

Nick hugged and kissed. Michael as he put him in his bunny booster. "And I'm your dad now Michael! Isn't that wonderful?!"

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

Nick was upset. "That hurts Michael! How can you say such a thing?"

"Nothing's really changed. You've been my daddy for over a week now. I already love you."

Nick smiled. "Oh. I see. You mean you've felt like we're family for awhile now."

"Yeah. OH WAIT! My name's 'Mike Wilde' now! That's cool! It's a good name for a future rock star!"

Judy had some bad news for the bunny as she buckled herself in between the boys. "I'm sorry Michael. But Nick is your STEPfather. Legally, you still have the last name of Hopps."

"What?! That's bullshit!"

Judy got mad. "Don't cuss!"

"Do the other kids still have their old last names?"

"No. Your sister's blood parents are dead. Petey's blood mother rejected him and his father is unknown. However, your biological father is still alive and you still visit him. That's why you still have the Hopps name. The only way you can change it is if he allows you to change it and we go through the legal system."

"Well let's do that then!"

"Michael! He gave up his eye to you!"

"He also tried to have me killed so we're even! There's a million Hopps out there anyway. Mike Hopps is not a good Rock and Roll name! I wanna be Mike Wilde!"

"But honey, I..."

"I WANNA BE MIKE WILDE!"

Judy could see Nick's face through the rear view mirror. He had a smile on his face, but tears in his eyes and his lips were trembling. "Nick? Are you crying?"

"He...SNIFF!...He really wants my surname!"

"For the purposes of celebrity." Spots noted.

"Don't ruin this moment!"

About thirty minutes down the highway, Nick got a call from his mother. He put it on the car speaker so he could keep his eyes on the road. "What's up mom?"

Nick's mother was bawling on the other end. "BAAAW! Nick honey! She's so meeeean!"

"Hold up! Who's so mean?!"

"Bobby's mother, Carol! She won't give Bobby her blessing for us to be married! She berates me horribly! She's being such a...a...y'know. What I technically am."

"A bitch?"

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH! I'm sure your children are nearby!"

"Oops! They're actually in the van with me right now. Wait! You were telling me yesterday that you were going to her house right?"

"Right?"

"So this is Bobby's old home? In Bunnyburrow?"

"On the outskirts near Judy's old school, yes! I just wanna bite into her stupid neck and thrash her!"

"Hold up! Me and Judy are actually on our way to Bunnyburrow for a case. Maybe we can stop by!"

"Oh could you?! I could use somebody on my side! Do you know how to get there? Wait. A case? I thought you quit!"

Judy then spoke up. "We'll tell you all about it when we get there. As awkward as it is now, Bobby was my ex-boyfriend. I know just where he lives and it's only five minutes off the highway."

Nick was a little concerned. "Do we have time?"

"As long as it's a short visit, yes. Don't forget, we're also checking in on Petey's sister too."

"Alright then. Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"We'll stop by for a short visit."

"Oh THANK YOU dear! I'll see you soon! I love you!"

"Love you too momma!" He then hung up the phone.

"Are you going to tell her about us getting married?" Judy asked.

"Why not? She's been wanting grandkids so bad, and I wouldn't feel right not telling her."

"Think she'll be okay about it?"

"She'll be fine! We're still having a ceremony after all!"

Forty minutes later, they were off the highway and in front of Bobby Catmull's childhood home. "Well here we are!" Nick stated. "Kids, we don't have much time, so we're only going to be in the house for a short time. Plus, Spots can't meet Bobby's mom or it'll cause a plothole from the epilogue in the fanfic 'In Custody' so stay in the van."

Spots was a bit upset. "Aw c'mon dad!"

"That epilogue takes place in the future! The author can't think of EVERYTHING in advance y'know!"

"Fine!...Stupid fourth wall."

Nick's mother Vivian ran out to greet her son. "NICKYYYY!"

She practically tackled Nick down and he hugged her back. "Hi mom!Geez! You can be a football player!"

"I'm just so happy to see you! Let me see my grandbabies!"

"They're in the van. Me and Judy will go on ahead and talk to Bobby and his mother."

Nick and Judy headed into the house while Vivian headed to the van. She opened the front door and hugged Spots. "Well hello Vivian Wilde!"

"Hello Vivian Wilde!"

"Hey! That's grandma to you!" She looked in the back seat. "So. I hear you and Bobby's cousin are getting real close hunh?"

Spots played with her ears nervously. "It's...complicated. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore."

"Honey, trust me from experience. It doesn't matter who you love, just...go with your feelings. Be who you want to be! Now, where's my Cotton? There she is!" Quickly, she opened the back door and gave her a big squeeze. "OOOOOH! You're so soft!"

"She can draw really FUCKING! good too grandma!" Petey said.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah!" Michael added. "She can predict the future too! Kinda."

"What?!"

Cotton didn't like this topic of conversation. "Certain things pop up in my head and I draw them before they happen. It's usually minor stuff."

"Wow! Maybe you'll grow up to be a rich psychic someday!"

"I don't like it! It makes me seem weird!"

Vivian put her paws on Cotton. "You're not weird Christine. You're gifted!"

Michael interrupted. "By the way grandma, you're officially my grandma now!"

"What do you mean?"

Meanwhile, Nick and Judy were talking to Bobby and his mother, Carol inside the house in her living room. Carol was giving her son an earful. "What the hell is WRONG with you?! Why can't you date a woman your own age for God's sake?!"

"Because that's not who I am!" Bobby yelled. "I've always been attracted to much older women!"

"It's sick! This Vivian woman is twice your age! She's using you!"

"HEY!" Nick yelled "Don't you dare talk ill about my mother! Now I'll admit, I kinda agree with you. He's way, WAY too young for her. Having him as my future stepfather just feels so...odd and creepy!"

Carol gloated at her son. "There! You see?"

"BUT!" Nick added. "I haven't seen my mother this happy in almost twenty years. The fact that this young man is bringing her so much joy overrides any of my feelings about this marriage. Plus, he's already been a great grandpa to me and Judy's kids. Michael quickly learned to play the harmonica from him."

Carol sat down on her couch in tears. "Oh God! I've already skipped grandmother to great-grandmother! I'm only 47!"

Judy then intervened. "If you were a bunny, that wouldn't be unusual. Anyway, Mrs. Catmull, you know I used to date Bobby for a few years. I know better than anyone his...temptation?...ah screw it, lust for older women. I stopped dating him because he wouldn't stop flirting with my mother. Sharla broke up with him too for the same thing."

Carol sat down, defeated. "I know. Sharla still tells me about it. She helps me out from time to time. She still hasn't gotten over him. But why?! Why much older women?!"

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Why do some men want to date other men? Why does say, a fox want to wed a bunny? Look, it's not like I'm a pedophile, I'm the reverse! I'm a...a..."

"Gerontophile." Judy replied. "I looked it up after we broke up."

"Regardless of what I am, me and Vivian are two grown adults and if we want to get married, that's our business! Mom, you have to understand that this is who I am! I'll never change. If you can't accept me for that, then you don't truly love me for who I am."

"That's not true!" Carol argued. "I'll always love you even if I don't like your life choices! But you're right. I might as well give up on having grandkids."

Just then, Vivian walked back into the house. Nick was happy to see her. "Mom! It looks like we're getting through to Carol and..."

SLAP! Vivian slapped his son's face so hard that he fell to the floor. "When the hell were you going to tell me that you and Judy got married?!"

Judy had a cocky grin on her face. " 'She'll be fine' hunh?"

Nick rubbed his cheek. "OW! Jeez mom! Give a guy a warning!"

She then pinched his ear with her claws. "Don't you 'Jeez mom!' me! I was looking forward to that wedding!"

"OWOWOWOW! We're still having it! The ceremony's still on! Judy wanted to elope so we could insure that our family stayed together in case something happened to one of us! Believe me, it was the least romantic way to wed you've ever seen. We did it at a BBQ joint just off the highway."

"I don't care! You could have let me know right away instead of my grandkids telling me!"

"I'm sorry!"

Carol got a bit of a smile on her face. "Bobby my son, if you do wrong by her and she treats you like she's treating him, then...well...maybe she's the right woman to keep you in check."

Bobby was elated. "Does mean I have your blessing?"

"SIGH!...I guess so."

Vivian walked over and gave Carol a big hug. "Oh thank you! Thank you mom!"

Carol shoved her away. "Don't call me that! You're five years older than me!"

"Welcome to my world." said Nick. "If Bobby ever calls me 'son' I'm gonna deck him."

Their chat suddenly came to a halt when they heard the dropping of grocery bags at the front door. They all turned around to find a familiar black lamb at the door.

Sharla was shocked to see her former friend Judy in Bobby Catmull's home. "I...I brought your groceries Mrs. Catmull. What the hell are you doing here Judy?!"

"Sharla!" Judy exclaimed. "Oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in ages!"

Judy ran up and hugged the lamb only to be shoved down. "Get off of me, you...you hussy!"

"Sharla, you CAN'T still be mad at me! Not after all this time!"

"You stole Bobby from me!" She yelled. "You...you drove him away from me and now...now he's with this old fart!"

"HEY!" shouted Vivian.

"My mom is NOT an old fart!" said Nick. "A cougar and a cradle robber maybe, but not an old fart!"

Judy tried to calm Sharla down. "Sharla, YOU dumped HIM! Remember? He was trying to pick up on your mom! Just like I dumped him when he tried to flirt with my mom!"

"You nabbed him as soon as we had some troubles! You were just waiting for the chance!"

"HE asked ME out TWO MONTHS after you two broke up!"

"Jesabel!"

"Sharla stop! Please! That happened in junior high for Pete's sake! It was thirteen years ago! And if you recall, I only started going out with him when you turned me down!"

"I...have...no one Judy! SOB! I never found another mate! Do you have any idea how lonely I am?"

"Maybe you should have went for Travis? It was obvious he liked you."

"That little toadie who hung out with Gideon?! Yeah. I knew he liked me, but he also sided with that bully!"

"Well...what about 'Pride Law'?"

Sharla was confused. "Say what?"

Judy then turned and whispered into Nick's ear. Nick was a bit taken back by what she said. "Are you serious?"

"I-I'm sorry. I know that's being forward."

"Errrr...I dunno Carrots."

"What are you two talking about?!" Sharla demanded. "And what's 'Pride Law'?'"

Judy explained. "Pride Law was instated by former Mayor Lionheart in Zootopia about five years ago. It was originally a law that allowed lions to marry more than one female like it was in the olden days. Lionheart put it through so he could marry his mistress and not cause any controversy. However, more people wanted the law changed for all mammals and it's currently allowed for all predators. So legally, Nick could marry me AND you! I want us to be friends again Sharla."

"Nooo, you want a babysitter and me as your female lover. I'm not gay Judy!"

"Well then, what out marrying into Bobby and Vivian? You could share him."

Sharla thought about it. "Well..."

"No way!" Vivian said. "Bobby is MY man!"

Tears swelled in Sharla's eyes. "Fine!...SOB!...FINE! Mrs. Catmull can get her own damn groceries! I can't come back here again!"

Sharla ran out of the house crying and Judy ran after her. She had tears in her eyes as well. "Wait Sharla! Wait! Please! I miss my best friend! I just want things back the way they were!"

"I do too." Sharla said. "But I can't! I'm never going to find someone."

"You're only 25 and I think you're very attractive. You've got plenty of years left in your life."

"SNIFF!...Maybe."

Judy put her paw on the black lamb's shoulder. "Why don't you come by the farm later? We could talk about old times. Try to get past this whole thing. Some of my brother's are still single!"

"Well...SNIFF!...I guess." She looked up and into the van. "Are those your foster kids?"

"Yes. You can't see the two bunnies from this angle, but the one in front is Vivian. She's a 14 hyena. We call her 'Spots' since she has Nick's mother's name and that causes less confusion. The one in the back is Christine. We call her 'Cotton'."

A huge pang of jealousy hit Sharla. "A lamb. You have a lamb for a daughter?!" Anger swelled up in her. "Must be nice! MUST BE NICE! B-A-A-A-A-A-W!" She then ran off crying.

Judy shouted for her. "Sharla!" but the black ewe ignored her plea as she ran off. All Judy can do is give a big, heavy sigh. She missed her old friend greatly, but her old jealousy over Bobby Catmull never left and soured her. She held on to that bitterness for far too long.

Nick came over as he saw Judy depressed. He put a paw on her shoulder. "You okay Carrots?"

"I guess. I just miss me and her being friends. Are we all done in there?"

"Oh yeah. Bobby invited my mom upstairs to see his old room and how it hasn't changed in ten years. A minute later, his bed started creaking and that was my cue to leave."

"Ah. I guess having a man half your age keeps you active."

"I...don't really wanna talk about that. However...Do you really want me to have a second wife?!"

"No way!"

"Oh! Well...good then."

"You're disappointed."

"No I'm not."

Judy laughed. "Ha-Ha! Yes you are!"

"Carrots, this fox only has eyes for you. No one else. You're the only wife I want in my family. Speaking of family, do you still have that itch to get pregnant?"

"I'm a bunny Nick. That feeling never goes away."

"SIGH! So we still have to look for someone."

"I'm sorry dear."

"No. It's okay hon. I understand."

The two got back in the van and Nick started up the engine. Before he could even go forward, he could hear Cotton yelling at Michael. "I'm never gonna kiss you again!"

"I'm okay with that!" Michael replied.

Nick was curious as to what was going on. "Trouble in paradise?"

Spots explained. "Cotton used her tablet and a stylus to make a new drawing, slash, future prediction. It shows Mike surrounded by bunny girls kissing him on his cheeks so Cotton broke up with him. He doesn't seem to mind."

A big smile was on Michael's face. "My future's looking bright!"

"Not with me, it's not!" Cotton yelled. Tears started to swell up. "I never want to talk to you again!"

Judy reached over to grab the tablet that Cotton made the drawing on. "Can I see that?"

Cotton handed over the tablet to Judy. "Let me see. Wow! That is so detailed!"

"I know. Right?" said Nick who was now on the road and heading to Petey's old home.

Judy examined the drawing a noticed something. "Ummm...Cotton?"

"Yes?"

"The bunnies kissing Mike's cheeks are his sisters."

"WHAT?!"

"Yes! There's Tammy and Amy and Jamie! She was the last one with a 'J' name before we ran out. You met them last week! You girls had a slumber party."

"Lemme see!" Cotton snatched the tablet back.

Michael was disappointed. "Aww man! It thought I had a harem!"

Cotton studied the tablet. "Oh no! Are you sure?"

"Positive. Do you think all of us bunnies look like?"

"No!...Kinda. I'm sorry Michael. Can you forgive me?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

"Great! You can be my boyfriend again!"

"No thanks."

"...WHAT?!"

"Now that I know there's a ton of cute bunny girls out there that like me, why just settle for one girlfriend? Besides, us being romantically involved when we're brother and sister now is kinda weird. It was fun while it lasted babe!"

Cotton started crying. "W-A-A-A-A-A-H! Daddy! Make him get back with me!"

Nick was trying to hold in a chuckle. "Sorry honey, but he has a point. You shouldn't have him as your boyfriend, you should treat him like a little brother."

"Then mommy can get him closer so I can punch him!"

Judy got upset. "I'm not putting him closer so you can hit him!"

Cotton then talked to Petey. "Petey! Slug him in the shoulder!"

"Okay!" Petey replied and punched his brother in the shoulder.

"OW! Shouted Michael. The bunny then punched Petey back. "Give her one of those!"

Petey then punched Cotton the the arm. Cotton pinched Petey's ear. "Give him one of those!"

Petey then pinched Michael's ear. The punching, slapping and pinching went back and fourth until Petey started to cry. "WAAAAH! I don't like this game anymore! It...SHIT!...It hurts!"

"Knock it off you three!" Spots growled. "You're not the Three Stooges!"

"They're not?!" Nick replied with feint surprise. "You could'a fooled me!"