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43. Better together
The door to Elliot's room flew open and the nurse strode in, a worried look on her face. When she saw the two people on the bed in a loving embrace, she slowed down and asked them,
"Is everything alright in here?"
Elliot and Olivia broke apart and Elliot smiled shyly at the nurse. His heart monitor was slightly embarrassing, giving away his current state like it was. It was still beeping rather fast and an alarm was going off, and Olivia thought it was very sweet. She was glad she wasn't hooked up to any monitors though, because they would definitely show a similar pattern. She had dropped her hands, one now on Elliot's thigh while the other one rested in her lap. Elliot had one hand on her waist, and placed his other hand over hers in her lap.
"Yes," he assured the nurse despite the alarm that was still ringing, and when Dr Herman came in behind her, he added, "My headache is suddenly clearing up. I was just ehm ... a little ..."
"Excited," the young nurse said with a wink, glancing at Olivia and then back at her patient.
"Yes," Elliot admitted, rubbing Olivia's side gently.
Dr Herman approached both of them, his notepad and pen in hand. Olivia guessed that Elliot's case was now even more interesting to him. His headache had cleared up because of her? Did it really work that way?
"Can I ask you a few questions now sir?" the doctor asked him, hope evident in his voice.
Olivia decided to leave Elliot's side on the bed for now and they exchanged a look of understanding when she stood up, squeezed his hand and then moved to the armchair. She was tired after her very short night and welcomed a few minutes to process all the new developments of the morning while Elliot talked to the amnesia specialist. Elliot remembered more now, and was still committed to her. She was still trembling a bit after their kiss. She'd truly felt like she was kissing her old partner just now. It had been different from the day before. They were Benson and Stabler again, and while a lot was still unclear for Elliot, they both knew that their history together had inevitably led up to this moment. Not even four years apart had been able to break their connection or their love for each other.
It was such a relief to know that Elliot had never intended to stay away so long, that she could hardly believe it sometimes. She looked at him while he spoke with Dr Herman quietly, patiently answering the man's questions. They were really here and they had finally admitted their feelings to each other. It was real.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Captain Cragen poked his head around the door.
"Is the coast clear?" he asked her softly when he saw her.
Olivia glanced at the nurse, who just nodded and left the room, making room for Cragen. Her old Captain stood next to her and asked,
"Is his head better?"
"Yeah," Olivia said softly. "He's talking to the amnesia guy now."
"So what was wrong with him earlier?"
"I told him to read up on what happened to me with ... you know, on my iPad. He must have freaked out a little, and then a barrage of memories hit him, that he couldn't process."
"Hm."
Cragen pursed his lips and looked at his former detective in the hospital bed.
"You and he were always so close. I get that he 'freaked out', as you put it. He would have wanted to be there to beat the crap out of the guy himself."
"I really wanted him there," Olivia admitted softly, and Cragen patted her back.
"I know, Olivia. I'm just glad we know now why he never contacted you after ... afterwards."
"Me too."
They listened to Elliot and the doctor for a while, and heard him tell the specialist how all his memories about his former partner had come back to him at once, and how his splitting headache had cleared up when he held her. He didn't mention the kissing part and that was fine with Olivia. When she heard her former boss chuckle and looked up at him, she gathered that he had already filled in that little blank himself.
After about ten minutes, the doctor agreed that Elliot needed to rest, but he told him he'd be back in the afternoon to do some tests with him. After the amnesia specialist had left, Elliot's normal doctor came in to check up on him. Elliot's heart rate had returned to normal and while he was very tired, he was fine now. The doctor told his two visitors that his patient really needed to rest after the bad night he'd had, and Cragen promised he wouldn't stay long.
"Doc," Elliot said. "I'd really like Olivia to stay. I feel better when she's around."
Olivia didn't quite know where to look when the doctor looked at both her and Elliot attentively, but when Elliot held out his hand, she got up to take it and smiled at him.
"Well, as long as he rests, I suppose you can stay for a bit," the doctor acquiesced, and both Elliot and Olivia thanked him simultaneously.
The doctor looked at both of them one more time, shook his head slightly and then left, a small smile playing on his lips. Once the door had closed behind the man, Cragen remarked,
"I know exactly how that man feels right now."
...
Olivia couldn't help laughing out loud, and Elliot smiled when he looked at the two people at his beside. They were comfortable around him and each other, and he felt comfortable around them. But they were sharing an inside joke right now that he didn't feel a part of.
"Why?" he asked Cragen, choosing the direct approach.
"Elliot," Cragen said seriously as he came closer. "The number of times that I've seen you and Olivia together, sharing this wordless understanding between the two of you ..."
The older man shook his head wearily.
"I honestly didn't know what to make of it sometimes. You were at each others' throats one day, and then covered for each other up to the point that it infuriated me the next. I've never seen anything like it, either before or after I paired you two up at SVU."
Elliot glanced at Olivia, and before he could say anything, she asked the question that was on his mind.
"Why didn't you ever split us up?"
Cragen heaved a deep sigh.
"I've wanted to, believe me. On several occasions. But I was advised not to, because you two function better together than apart. And I suppose from the looks of it, that's not only as detectives but also as people."
Olivia smiled warmly at him and Elliot felt his stomach clench. That smile ... she'd smiled at him a lot through the years and it always lit up his day. And right now, it lit up his life. He could see more clearly now than he had in a long time. But it saddened him to know that she had had to miss him for so long while he was completely oblivious to her. That was just wrong, and in the end, he blamed his ex-wife for that.
He had wondered why he'd never heard of what had happened to Olivia back then. She'd been all over the news. But he was beginning to piece things together. He'd been in LA then, apartment hunting with Maureen and her fiancé. He even remembered now that Kathy had mentioned to him that an NYPD detective had gotten in some trouble with a rapist, when he'd dropped by to pick up Eli after he'd returned to New York. It hadn't meant anything to him back then. He felt sick now, knowing it had been Olivia. He wondered why Kathy had mentioned it. Had she been testing him maybe, to see if he'd remember anything? No. She could have told him it was his former partner but she hadn't said another word about the whole thing.
He felt bad now that he'd never tried to find out more about his former co-workers at the NYPD. But he simply hadn't know it was that important. Until now. Until Olivia.
He focused on the conversation at hand again, and something about Cragen's voice was familiar to him. He and Olivia were talking about an incident where apparently she had argued with him about a case repeatedly, until Cragen had ended it.
"Benson! Stabler! My office!" Cragen said loudly, reenacting how he'd interrupted them.
Elliot perked up and Olivia suddenly looked at him attentively.
"What El?" she asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I've heard that before," Elliot said, staring at his former Captain. "You ... you were our superior officer. I remember this!"
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