Longest one yet. Enjoy...
Speak…
~(~)~
There's silence between them for a moment while Edward thinks of the right way to respond.
Bella sighs, shifts uncomfortably. She's still blushing.
It makes him smile. "It's nice to see that some things are still the same."
She knows what he's talking about and rolls her eyes at him, placing her palms against the overheated flesh. "It's a physiological response. It's involuntary."
He chuckles. "It's nice to see all the same." He can see how much this embarrasses her further and mercifully changes the subject. "So… tell me what you want to know."
"Huh?"
"You said you've wondered about me? What did you want to know? Or rather, what did you want to know that wasn't already on the internet somewhere or on 20/20."
She lowers her hands from her face and picks up her coffee. "Would it shock you if I told you I refused to follow you in the press? Other than what I couldn't avoid anyway."
She takes a drink and waits for him to respond.
He appears to mull it over for a moment, then shakes his head. "No. No, that doesn't surprise me. I guess I would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. It would have been too hard otherwise."
She nods, keeping her eyes on him. "It was hard anyway."
"I'm sorry."
She waves him off. "Water under the bridge."
He frowns and looks down. "You know… You're the only one I haven't apologized to, Bella. The only one I haven't made amends with."
"It doesn't matter," she says, shaking her head. "All that matters is that you recovered, and that you're happy."
"I'm happy because I've made peace with the things I can't control, and taken control of the things I can. I couldn't apologize to you before because seeing you was outside of my control."
He looks at her, holds her gaze. "But you're here now."
"Edward…"
"Bella, please. I understand if you don't want to bring up the past when you've so obviously worked hard to put it behind you, but at least hear me out. Please?"
She feels her breath coming on too fast, feels the emotion rushing beneath it. Guilt. It's so strong, even though she knows better to let it overpower her. She did the right thing all those years ago.
Because she could never say no to him, and that was their problem all along.
"Not today," she says, pleading. "If you respect me at all, not today, and not here."
His disappointment is obvious, but he concedes because he does respect her —more than she could possibly know. "All right."
"Thank you."
They sit quietly for a while, until Bella remembers she has a three hour drive home.
"It is good to see you, Edward. It's good to see your smile again."
And there it is… a peace offering in the form of his smile.
She smiles back. "I should probably go. I have work tomorrow."
He nods and slides his chair back to stand. "How is that going for you? I heard you were a social worker?"
She rises and gathers her things. "You heard that, huh?"
He shrugs. "It's still a small town, and your father is the police chief."
I nod. "My job is good. Hard sometimes, but worth it."
They walk outside and she points in the direction of her truck and they walk side by side. He clears his throat.
"So what do you do exactly?"
"I'm a substance abuse counselor. I work with youth right now."
Edward nods. "Teenagers?"
"Yeah."
He clears his throat, trying to hide how affected he is by her chosen profession. "That's great, Bella. You should be proud."
"I am."
They reach her truck and she unlocks the door. She's glad she parked on a side street. There are no storefront windows to be concerned about while they say their goodbyes. Edward looks up and down the street anyway as she opens the door and puts her stuff inside.
"So…" he begins.
"So…" she echoes.
They both smile.
"Will I see you again? Do you come back to visit often?"
She shakes her head. "Not really. Not since…"
"Since I moved back," he supplies.
"Yeah, well… it's your home town. I was always the interloper."
He looks at her like she has three heads. "Why do you say that? Because you only moved here senior year?"
She shrugs. "Junior year, but yeah… pretty much."
"Junior year?"
She meets his eyes, sees the confusion in them. "Yes. Junior year. You don't remember?"
He makes a face of concentration. Bella watches as he searches for the memory. It's the first time she's noticed any side effects from the stroke he suffered after that last, nearly fatal cocaine overdose.
He looks at her helplessly. "I can't remember exactly, Bella. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I was only here for the second half of the year. I moved up from Phoenix after New Year's. We met on January 6th. It was the first day of school after the winter holidays. Does that help?"
He nods. "Biology. I remember that."
She can't help the smile that breaks out on her face. "Yeah. I almost fell flat on my face, but you caught me. Then I did it again when I realized I was holding hands with 'Eddie Cullen: Former Child Star'."
Her finger quotes make him laugh. "You wouldn't admit you knew who I was, but you were so star-struck."
"That's right. See? You do remember."
"I just didn't know when that happened. I couldn't place it."
She nods. "That's pretty common, isn't it?"
"Unfortunately," he sighs. "I'm just lucky I could afford all the therapy it took to get me this far."
"You were lucky all around, if you ask me."
"I was. If you hadn't answered your phone that night…"
Silence falls between them again and she knows what he's saying. What he's thanking her for without using the words.
Bella hugs him spontaneously and isn't surprised when he hugs her in return. She closes her eyes and squeezes him tightly.
"I'm very glad I did."
~(~)~
More tomorrow. It may be late though. My daughter is going to be an extra in a commercial shoot tomorrow. :-)