46. Therapeutic

"Liv, what happened?"

Olivia didn't really want to talk anymore. She just wanted to stay like this, wrapped up in Elliot's arms, hidden away from the world. Usually, she could deal with the effects of what she'd been through and what she'd done, putting on her determined, badass mask. But telling Elliot about it was so intense for her. Elliot was rubbing her back and was holding her, and she knew that he would understand what she'd done. He would have done the same thing, and he wouldn't have waited as long as she had. She'd given Lewis ample opportunity to taunt her again before she finally snapped. Elliot wouldn't have listened to a single word the pervert had to say. Lewis wouldn't have gotten to him like he had gotten to her. He would have paid the price for hurting her instantly and Elliot would never have regretted killing the man with his bare hands.

"Did he break free?"

Elliot's question broke through the fog of her thoughts and she finally came up for air.

"No," she said softly. "He started talking again."

...

Elliot knew this was a difficult subject for Olivia. She'd skipped it before. Maybe it would help her to get it all out though, so he asked her gently,

"Please tell me what he talked about that was so difficult for you, if you can."

Olivia let out a shaky breath and rested her forehead against Elliot's jaw while she continued.

"He just ... started pushing my buttons. Wondering out loud what I was working through. Calling me a victim. Talking about my father. Talking about you ..."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I felt so exposed. It was like he was hitting all the raw nerves he could find. And I fell for it. I let him push me until ... until I just couldn't take it anymore."

Elliot didn't ask her any further about why he had come up in the conversation, because he understood what had happened. And that was way more important than his curiosity about why Lewis would have brought him up.

"You beat him up."

"Yes."

"While he was still handcuffed."

"Yes."

"You should have just shot him."

Olivia chuckled and he held her close to him. He knew she shouldn't have beaten an unarmed, handcuffed man, but had this worm really been unarmed? From what Olivia had told him, he had a whole range of weapons that he had used against her. He'd had power over her. And the most frightening thing was, he'd still had power over her when he escaped from prison. She had gone after him, surrendering to him willingly, doing exactly what he wanted her to do. He'd played her.

Elliot knew how selfless Olivia was. She'd die to protect a child. And she almost had. He didn't know what had happened between them that second time, but he wondered if Olivia was up for even more revelations right now. She was trembling and he thought she was trying to hold back tears.

"It's okay Liv, it's okay," he said softly, kissing her forehead and hoping she'd let it all out if she needed to cry a little.

...

Olivia didn't though. She just breathed slowly until the urge to cry or scream or hit something went away. She wasn't going to spill another tear over the freak that had almost ruined her life.

"You would have killed him right away," she said once she felt calm enough to speak again.

"You're damn right I would have," Elliot said harshly.

She knew that he wouldn't be lying here so quietly if he hadn't been injured so severely. He could only express his outrage in words and that couldn't be easy for him.

"I'm sorry Elliot," Olivia said, looking up at him and moving her hand up his chest until she could cup his cheek.

"You're sorry? For what?" Elliot said, and Olivia blinked at his sudden outburst.

She could tell he regretted raising his voice instantly and she forced a small smile.

"For dumping all of this on you, and you can't even jump up to hit something."

That actually put a small smile on his face as well and he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling.

"You're incredible Liv, really. You went through all of that and you're still thinking of how I feel? I don't deserve you. Never did."

"Hm. Maybe you're right. Lemme get my coat," Olivia said dryly.

Laughter bubbled up from deep inside Elliot's gut and since there was little else they could do about the whole thing, Olivia joined in and laughed with him. Despite how intense they had always been together, and no doubt would continue to be, there was no one else she could unwind with like she could with Elliot. Like they were doing right now. They laughed out loud and when they quietened a bit, Elliot tried to roll on his right side, succeeding only partially, and wrapped both arms around her. This was the part that was new. They were in uncharted territory now. But as strained as things used to be, when they were maintaining a strict barrier between them, it was completely natural now. When their lips found each other in a tender kiss, Olivia felt all the tension that had built up over the past fifteen minutes leave her body. She kissed Elliot passionately, snaking her arms around his neck, trusting him not to let her fall off the bed. Her right leg ended up between his legs, anchoring her to him while they explored each other's mouths and let go of all the frustrating thoughts and feelings that had occupied their minds. Olivia felt like Elliot was trying to feel all of her, to make sure she was really alright. It actually made her feel more than alright. When they finally broke apart, they were both smiling widely.

"I thought you were leaving," Elliot joked, placing a small kiss on her nose.

"Nah. You'd go nuts here without some company. Besides, you promised me a nap."

She kissed him again and no more words were needed. After another few minutes they snuggled up together and Olivia actually thought she could sleep now. Who knew that making out with Elliot could be this therapeutic for her? As they both finally drifted off to sleep, Olivia mumbled,

"I think I'm gonna keep you around."

...

Short but sweet I thought. I wanted to wrap the whole Lewis mess up with this chapter, but it may pop up once more. I apologize in advance for that. Next chapter, we move on to more important people in Olivia and Elliot's lives.