It is great to hear from you all, and to read how invested some of you are in this story. I hope this chapter will give you an idea of where we're headed. Enjoy!

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49. Questions

Olivia held Bernie loosely, her hands moving from the older woman's arms to her back. Bernie's hands now rested on Olivia's shoulders and Olivia could feel the tension in her fingers. Bernie was terrified and Olivia didn't want her to be afraid. But she knew Elliot was angry with his mother right now. Or at least a little pissed off. He'd remained relatively calm while his mother had explained her side of things, but Olivia knew that there might be more anger ahead. And somehow, she wanted to protect the older lady from it.

"It's alright Bernie, I understand," she said softly. "I understand."

She glanced at Elliot, who was still staring at his mother. She couldn't read the look in his eyes right now, but she knew it wasn't anger she was seeing. It was more like wonder. When he noticed that she was looking at him, he nodded and forced a small smile.

"Mother. Mom."

Bernie looked up at Olivia first, and then turned to face her son, dropping her hands from Olivia's shoulders. Olivia stood next to her and rubbed her back gently. The woman was practically shaking.

"Yes dear," she said softly.

"I need to know about the time between the shooting and when I lost my memory."

Bernie blinked a few times. She seemed confused.

"Did you hear what I just told Olivia?" she asked her son.

"Yeah. I ... we'll talk about it some time. What can you tell me about those months after I left the NYPD?"

Bernie looked at Olivia again, but Olivia was as much in the dark as she was.

"El, what are you looking for?" she asked him, and both women stepped closer to the man in the hospital bed.

Elliot shrugged, making a helpless gesture with his hands.

"Everyone thinks we said goodbye to each other properly and parted as friends. I wanna know why they think that. Because you told me something completely different."

"Do you really want to go into that now?" she asked him, nodding in the direction of his mother subtly.

"I need answers Liv," Elliot replied curtly.

Olivia wanted to respond but Bernie interrupted them, wiping her eyes but finding her voice again.

"I want to help dear. You must have so many questions. But I don't know very much about it. I ... I never came to the house."

Olivia rubbed the woman's back reassuringly again.

"That's okay Bernie, we ..."

"Just tell me what you do know, mother," Elliot insisted, cutting Olivia off.

She frowned at him but Elliot's eyes were fixed on his mother.

"I really don't know much, Elliot. I know you drank a lot and that the children didn't know how to respond to you. Kathy told me this when she invited me to your birthday party. She wanted to surprise you to lift your spirits a little."

"You were there?"

Bernie shook her head and looked from Elliot to Olivia. Her eyes were sad.

"I don't do very well in crowds. I need space around me. I ... I couldn't even get here on my own. I'd get lost in the city. My friend Gladys drove me."

"So where is your friend now, Bernie?" Olivia asked her kindly.

"She's out in the hallway. She doesn't mind. She's my best friend."

Olivia was torn between wanting to find Bernie's friend and the need to protect Bernie from Elliot's frustration, that she could see building up inside him. He wasn't angry but he was actively going after his memories now. He knew he was missing something important.

"So what else do you know?"

Elliot's tense question helped Olivia make up her mind. She needed to stay with Bernie, who was now deep in thought, trying to remember anything that might help her son.

"All I really know is what Kathy told me, and Maureen came by to visit me once with her boyfriend. He's nice," Bernie added, turning to Olivia and putting a hand on her arm. "Did you know they got married? They're living in Los Angeles now. Maureen's really happy."

"Mom!"

Startled, Bernie looked at her son again. Olivia felt bad for her but she did understand Elliot's impatience too.

"Did Maureen tell you anything, Bernie?" she asked her kindly. "Maybe she told you about how Elliot talked about his job after the shooting?"

Bernie shook her head, looking at the ground.

"She didn't tell me much. Only that he was taking it very hard that he had to leave but he had no choice. That was it. We talked about her and her boyfriend mostly. Oh, and there was the letter. Of course."

Bernie's head whipped up and she looked at Olivia with wide eyes, repeating,

"The letter."

Olivia glanced at Elliot, who was as much in the dark as she was.

"What letter?" he asked his mother, who was still staring at Olivia.

"Elliot wrote you a letter. I asked Maureen if he was keeping in touch with you, because you've always been such a great friend to him, and she said he'd written you a letter."

Olivia looked at Elliot.

"I never got a letter from you. Just a note with three words on them and your mini badge."

"I don't know Liv," Elliot said helplessly.

"What did the letter say?" Olivia asked Bernie.

"You didn't get it?"

Bernie was astonished.

"No, I never got a letter from Elliot. Just a tiny note in a big envelope."

"Maureen said ..."

Bernie shook her head.

"I'm sure she said you wrote her a letter, Elliot."

"What did it say?" Olivia asked again.

"That's not for anyone to know, is it? Only for you two."

Elliot hung his head, rubbing his temples with his hands. Olivia could feel a faint headache coming up as well.

"But Maureen assumed that it was a goodbye letter. She said Elliot was done with the NYPD and he would never pick up a gun again."

Elliot lifted his head and his eyes locked with Olivia's. This couldn't be right and they conveyed to each other wordlessly that it couldn't have been a goodbye letter. So what had the letter said? And why hadn't she received it?

It was as if a realization washed over all three of them simultaneously and they all looked at each other in disbelief. Olivia felt the blood drain from her face while Elliot's face flushed red. It was Bernie who finally vocalized what they were all thinking, when she sighed,

"Oh Kathy ..."

...

Dun dun! I think you all know now where this is going. Right?