2: The Third Year

Three important things happened the year after I turned three. They were all equally important though they didn't seem so at the time. But hindsight is twenty-twenty as the say.

. . .

The first was that my chakra finally came in. Though that isn't quite right. The chakra had always been there, but starting at three was the beginning of chakra coil development and the minimum for chakra to be able to be manipulated for young children. For some children like myself, the change in their body is much more noticeable. Others like my brother did not seem affected at all. As in most things I took my cues from him and tried to ignore the new irritating feeling.

I want you to imagine for a moment what it feels like to have head lice. That awful itching sensation that even when you scratch the relief is only ever temporary. Now imagine the sensation without being able to scratch it whatsoever. That is what it was like for me when my chakra came in. Itchy is perhaps the closest adjective I can get for the feeling of this awful feeling of something unfamiliar and foreign going all through your body.

The only saving grace of the situation, the only reason I didn't go mad, was that it faded in and out of intensity. I could go days without even noticing it was there and then it returned suddenly and viciously. I attempted to scratch it at first, not understanding what was going on and leaving long red marks up and down my arm from my fruitless efforts to just make it stop, please.

Taro, who had noticed my increasing oddness and scratch marks, found me when it finally grew unbearable. The tipping point led me to sob with blood on my arms from deep gauges I had dug in attempts to scratch the feeling away. He had gone pale and ran to find Kaa-chan immediately.

Kaa-chan came running and grabbed me rushing to the hospital. I couldn't focus by the time we arrived and honestly don't remember much until the medic-nin had touched me with his chakra. I shrieked like I was dying. I felt something else entering me like some kind of stinging nettle.

After that it was kind of a blur. The nettle feeling seemed to set off the itching to a level it had never been before. It exploded under my skin and outside it. I felt like I was being bombarded by all sorts of sensations all at once.

Burning one moment from inside. Freezing along my left side. Nettles stinging me in focused jabbing patterns. Vibrations went up and down my body so strongly my teeth hurt with the shaking. Blood, coppery and fresh was in my mouth along with a sweet, peppermint taste that made me want to vomit. My ears rang with a low deep buzzing.

It was all too much.

Until suddenly it all just shut off.

When I came to my light gray eyes were completely blurred from tears, my throat felt bruised from screaming, and my stomach was covered in something wet. Blinking, I looked down my head fuzzy and slow to react. My stomach was uncovered and had a weird counterclockwise spiral on it framed by five little swirls. An unfamiliar man with a narrow face, long curly hair pulled out of his face and prominent cheekbones was bending over me. His face pinched and holding a paintbrush. When he saw me looking, he smiled.

I opened my mouth to ask what was going on or at least for my Kaa-chan, but all that came out was a croak.

"Please don't talk Taeko-chan." The man said voice gentle and his hand glowed green as he placed it on my throat. This time I felt nothing, not even the tingle of warmth that was under the usual itchiness chakra brought after I turned three long after my Baba's initial introduction to it.

I blinked in response, taking a few minutes to understand the words he spoke. My hands drifted towards the paint on my stomach instead, fascinated by the strange cold feeling that was coming from them. It was like I had swallowed a lot of ice water very quickly and it was bloated right there. But that didn't make any sense because I felt so empty. Something I hadn't known I possessed until it was gone had been cut off and my senses were duller for it.

But everything was fine. My eyesight was better than it had ever been in my last life. My hearing as well. I smacked my mouth curious and tasted dryness and something medicinal I couldn't identify. My fingers brushed closer to the swirls, leaving goosebumps in their path and feeling the soft skin underneath.

Before I could touch the wet paint though my hand was stopped by the strange man.

"No touching the seals." he chided gently, settling my hands on the crinkling blanket that spoke of a hospital mattress.

I croaked at him in question and then remembering I wasn't supposed to talk rasped something like an apology. I went quiet instead of trying to make it audible. No talking, I reminded myself lazily wiggling back and trying to lift my head to get a better look at the swirls.

Seals, my mind informed me slowly. My first glimpse at the mysterious and unexplained things. A brush was set down on the small table beside me looked like a calligraphy brush. Like something out of Barakamon. My lips twitched up at the reminder of the light-hearted series and then immediately back down. I wouldn't be able to finish the series ever now.

"How about I go get your Okaa-san? I'm sure she's worried and you'll feel better if she was here."

My response was a drowsy mumble and finally closing my eyes. I was so cold and sleepy. Thinking was hard.

Moments passed and I was aware again when I was being settled into a warm squishy chair. I opened my eyes to find it was my Kaa-chan. I grumbled, silently, but settled resting my head against her chest pleased by the warmth. Even as I settled though the situation was slowly coming together in my head.

Something was wrong with my chakra. So wrong in fact it had led to being taken to the hospital and the intervention of medic-nin. The seal they had drawn on me was probably the only thing keeping me from totally shutting down from pain and sensory overload like before. Whatever it did though left me exhausted and groggy.

The medic-nin, very young to be one, I noted eventually, explained exactly what it was in a slow calm voice that clearly was meant to be soothing.

I had something called Chakra Sensitivity Disorder (CSD), which basically amounted to a chakra allergy and extreme sensitivity to it. My developing chakra coils were causing me extreme irritation as they grew and became inflamed as soon as the chakra went through them. Apparently all children begin to unconsciously force their chakra through the coils to encourage their development and keep them open. When my body went through this process to clear them out and continue growing every few weeks it led to massive irritation. CSD almost always disqualified someone from the Academy. But, and here the medic-nin, Yokaze-sensei, made sure to sound helpful and cheery, that was not a guarantee. Plenty of kunoichi and shinobi had been diagnosed early with this only to grow out of it or work around it as it was usually caused by an excess of one kind of chakra. It involved a lot of hard work and they were limited in career options, but I could still become a kunoichi if I desired to.

It didn't help, he said clearly trying to downplay the next topic, that my chakra was showing up oddly. But this could be a natural phenomenon of these new developments. My chakra was still in the early stages. He recommended bringing me back when I was about five, even if I decided against a kunoichi path. A trainer could be chosen to help me work with my CSD so that I could live a comfortable life. Until then a small seal could be applied monthly to help me balance my chakra on my own. I had also bruised myself screaming and though he had healed the damage he said I should refrain from talking for at least twenty-four hours.

This was the best news I had gotten in my second life. I had to hide a smile in Kaa-chan's chest as we left with our diagnosis and prescription. My new seal was significantly smaller and resting directly above my heart, a much smaller spiral with four incomprehensible squiggles. This one was set for a few minutes before the ink was wiped away leaving a stain I would have to come back to get updated.

My first tattoo. I was fascinated and instantly more energetic the moment the original seal was gone. I craned around to get a good look at the unfamiliar places we walked through.

Kaa-chan was clearly still frazzled, but acting calm for me and for my "good behavior" I got a treat, some mochi ice cream. I eagerly devoured the soft powdery balls and the ice cream hidden inside them. This was a good cause for celebration I figured and was deliberately more cheerful than normal to both comfort my mother and for the happiness at my more comfortable path decided for me.

No one would be eager for a soldier who couldn't do the most basic of ninjutsu. Gai and Lee were rare exceptions who were responsible for their shinobi status from sheer force of will and determination. A will and determination I had no intention of sharing with them.

It was a good day, I decide dimly smiling as we arrived home to a worried Taro and Tou-chan.

. . .

The second thing occurred not a few weeks after my diagnosis while I was still riding the high that no fear of being drafted because of my uselessness had left in me. My Kaa-chan got a job. Not any job though, Kaa-chan got a job at the library as the librarian.

In my past life, one of my goals was to work as a librarian and spend my life in a small house far away from civilization surrounded by books and only venturing out for food and when I desired socialization. My hobby had literally been collecting books. Spending my childhood hours told to sit quietly in the corner of a library with free reign to read whatever I could get my grubby little hands on was a personal dream come to life.

Besides I had been running out of material at home. As I had progressed on my Plan: ABC quite smoothly with the assistance of my Kaa-chan's children's books and the hiragana blocks my reading level had expanded in leaps and bounds. Having literally hours of nothing to fill up led one to accomplishing goals for lack of mental divergence. It helped that Taro, once he realized my own interest, seemed more than happy to help me along with my scheme.

The ability to have access to stories on demand was not something he was overlooking either. And apparently, years of being a DM and one acting class meant I did the voices better than Kaa-chan.

Acquiring books at a higher level was both complicated and simple.

Complicated because I had absolutely no intention of my parents learning I read better than the average, intelligent toddler. Being marked a prodigy or genius was the death of any dreams of normality. Even if it was just my parents knowing it was too much a risk. Once one person knew the chances of someone else knowing increased and once that increased the chances of Konoha finding out and either Hiruzen "encouraging" me to join official channels or Danzo-anyone but Danzo-taking me for the "greater good" increased as well.

I was probably a little paranoid in truth. A lot of paranoid if I'm honest. But I had read too many fanfictions and reread about ROOT to risk ending up there. I was a tiny civilian family with few connections. The perfect candidate for being forced into a secret spy organization with the minimal fuss of missing children.

The simple part was that our house was covered in books. I knew Tou-chan was a writer. I just hadn't realized he was a prolific one. If the squiggles I was starting to recognize as his name I saw on many of the books was any indication.

Tou-chan had a huge collection of books, both for research and pleasure. He had at least ten copies of one of his first books, every printing sent free as a courtesy. Some copies were for reading, while others were covered in annotations and bookmarks from being used as references. I could (and did) build a fort out of the books we had in the hallways alone. I could easily take one copy and make him think he had simply misplaced it while walking around.

The problem was sneaking them into my bedroom and finding unsupervised time to read.

My parents had, if anything, become a bit overprotective after the hospital visit. They seemed terrified to let me out of their sight as if one second alone meant the seal would fail and they'd find me screaming or covered in blood from trying to scratch my chakra coils out. Which admittedly was probably a gruesome and slightly traumatizing sight for a first-time mother to find.

It had definitely been traumatizing for me and Taro, who walked in on it. If my parents' hovering was bad, Taro was much worse. We had always been attached, but now couldn't go a minute without him touching me. Even going to the bathroom, our latest "big kid" accomplishment, was complicated by this. It had taken days to convince him not to follow me in. Instead he would sit outside until I came back out.

The library job meant time outside of the house with open access to books and new reading material.

I had taken to daydreaming about the start of Kaa-chan's job and all the books and questions I could finally have answered. Were there ninja romances? What kind of information did they have on seals? How badly edited were history books? What stage was fiction writing? The only canon novels were Jiraiya's. Did they have those? Just the pervy ones or the other one too? Was there anything on physics? Was information restricted?

So many questions and so much anticipation built up that the day before made me think back to Christmas Eves long passed. It only served to make me nostalgic and sleep further away at the comparison as it led my quiet mind to a new area of study. Exactly what did the religion in this world look like? Different faiths? Any "real-world" parallels? Was Jashinism an actual recognized practice? Or a not so well-known cult?

Sleep was not my friend and I didn't drift off until well past midnight.

When our nervous Kaa-chan woke us up to begin to get ready I was groggy. At three I was starting to ty for a little more independence, such as dressing myself and Taro was following me admiringly well. I could remember how long it had taken my little cousin in my last life to learn these skills. Taro had taken it as a challenge and had practiced buttoning and unbuttoning everyday until he got it down. I had been startled until I realized he was simply copying how I usually approached problems over the years. When he looked at me expectantly I had been appropriately impressed and he had rolled his eyes at my little clap but looked pleased.

Now that he was three Taro was also developing a more definite personality beyond just being sweet and biddable. He was getting a startling sassy streak which I refused to acknowledge had anything to do with my occasional under-the-breath commentary in English that only he understood.

I was dead tired, but nothing was going to stop me from going to a library filled with information on this world and new knowledge for my salivating brain. Taro gave me an unimpressed look as I mumbled something trying to fit my head through my arm sleeve. Taro reached over and tugged the dress over me and out of my hands. He pulled it onto me with a fussy air and pulled both my arms through without allowing me the chance to do it myself.

"Better," he said firmly and looked at my smooth black hair pointedly before pushing a brush in my hand and going to fight with his own.

Sometimes Taro behaved in the most unchildish manner and he refused to let me leave with my hair in a mess. He'd discovered a love of all things neat and looking presentable. Our room had become a veritable oasis of orderliness that was at war with my own messy nature. The attitude also made my neat silky black hair that fell into obedient straightness once brushed and my own lack of attentiveness to it personally offensive given his own ongoing war with his unruly black curls.

I grunted accepting the brush and numbly began the motions out of habit. It was as soothing as it had been in my last life and I found myself dozing on my feet. I didn't realize I had closed my eyes until Taro was taking the brush from my hands and dragging me out the door.

"Mornings," I told him voice full of despair and drama. "Are the devil."

"I don't know what that is." he countered unamused and pushed me into my chair before climbing into his own and giving our father a bright smile.

I let out a noise of disgust.

Taro, too my horror, was turning out to be a morning person. It was a betrayal of all my principles and our twinhood. Tou-chan returned the greeting brightly and it took me a few moments to notice that he was wearing an apron over the nice brown hakama he wore for his business meetings. I was aware enough to sense the danger in that and sure enough, the fish was slightly burned, the miso soup had almost full-size chunks of carrots in it, and the rice had more salted wakame in it than rice.

Tou-chan looked proud of himself and was looking at us as he happily ate his rice.

Taro looked at me, eyes wide with panic.

I looked back at him and grabbed my bowl pointedly.

His expression turned resigned and he copied my movement.

Tou-chan beamed as we ate our seaweed with a little rice. It was a lot of saltiness for the morning, but at least it wasn't something I hated. I washed it down with some milk and then looked at Tou-chan.

"Less wakame next time, Tou-chan," I suggested lightly as Taro had switched to eating the fish. He was not a fan of much salt.

Tou-chan nodded, his expression serious and actually went to write this down in a notebook beside him.

Taro saw this and piped in, somewhat reluctantly, "Perhaps make the carrots smaller?"

I gave a brief smile at Taro's vocabulary. He really was an advance kid. What three-year-old uses 'perhaps'? My genius little brother.

Taro looked liked it pained him to give the slightest thing resembling criticism to our parent, but relaxed when Tou-chan smiled writing this down as well.

When Kaa-chan walked in, looking very professional and impressive in her new skirt and blouse she stopped short at the sight of breakfast and said visibly startled, "Kaito?"

Tou-chan beamed and quickly pulled her to sit beside him, uncovering her own meal.

"I know you were starting work and thought, well why don't I show my support with more than just words," Tou-chan explained cheerfully, as he looked over his assembled work with clear pride. "You always take such good care of us I wanted you to have a little less work your first day."

Kaa-chan looked conflicted. On one hand she was clearly touched, but on the other she also saw the general roughness of the meal as we did. I was calmly scraping off the burnt skin and eating the fish underneath as Taro was 'sneaking' his wakame into my bowl I had 'forgotten' near him. We both paused to look at her. I nodded to the book and she followed, seeing the comments written there as well as the earnestness on Tou-chan's face her own softened.

She was looking at him with an expression of such tenderness it almost felt invasive to look, but also as if she was having a whole new realization about him. It was like watching her fall in love with him all over again. Tou-chan must have recognized it because he fell into a similar lovelorn expression and they gazed into each other's eyes lost a few moments before Kaa-chan spoke again.

She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled, making her look so beautiful it hurt. "I think I'll need to give you a few lessons husband."

There was something teasing in her face.

Tou-chan looked as if he had just been offered the world.

"I'd love them Fumi-chan."

They were so sweet I want to vomit, I thought looking at my parents and feeling very content at the warm atmosphere of my home. Taro continued to overload me with wakame beside me, ignoring our parents' display.

When we finally made it to the library I was starting to wake up again. Kaa-chan looked particularly cheerful when we arrived, her nerves about her position miles away. Her new boss, Mr. Hatanaka, seemed surprised to see us and dubious at my mother's assurance of our behavior, but allowed her to settle us in the children's section.

I was in heaven left there to roam at my leisure. Taro also looked interested having inherited a similar interest in books. Though he still preferred my "special stories" I told him at night alone in our room. They were my way of keeping my favorite stories and past alive. We both dove in grabbing books and building a pile in our claimed corner.

As Taro settled in with a basic picture book, he was determined to catch up to me, even as he demanded I read to him, I wandered. I kept quiet as I went passed the children's section into the non-fiction. There were a few adults there who gave me curious looks, but I didn't seem distressed so the left me be. Konohagakure seemed to hold with the idea of free-range parenting and let children learn boundaries on their own to encourage independence. This was a safe village after all in their minds.

Then I saw a man I was sure was a shinobi. This was my first time really encountering one outside of my grandparents who were happily retired.

I starred a bit.

He just looked different than everyone else. None of the usual crazy hair colors or bloodline limits that were visual. He was a plain man, with brown hair. I couldn't see past his broad back except a few glances of his profile when he turned. He just stood perfectly still in a way that made him look like he wasn't breathing when focused on the book in his hand. I realized he noticed me when he became more liquid and his breathing visible. He didn't do anything so I supposed in a way that was permission to keep observing. He put his book back and began moving down the aisle. I followed shamelessly fascinated by the way his feet didn't make an noise.

I watched curiously trying to copy the way he was moving. My sandalled feet still made soft scratches on the carpet. I sighed down at them and heard a soft snort making me look back at the man sharply. He was looking at another book, but I was certain he'd made the laugh. I couldn't see his face and was considering asking him about it, only to have my sleeve pulled.

I found Taro holding a book looking at me with curious black eyes.

"Nee-chan, I found a book I want you to read," he said face glowing with interest. "A nice Jii-san recommended it to me, but," And here he scowled. "It's got too many words I don't know."

I abandoned the stranger to look at the book that had Taro so excited and choked on a happy squeal.

My brother had brought me The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi.

"Of course!" I said instantly and grabbed the startled Taro's hand to drag him back to our corner. I was not missing out on reading the famous book. This was the kind of discovery I was here for.

We settled into the corner snuggled up together as I opened it and with a slightly awed tone began to read quietly, starting with the dedication next to the map at the beginning.

"Dedicated to all of the people, who despite the pain and sadness in the world believe in the light of assurance, which shines in the distance." I began reading the words, not realizing that the rapt expression on Taro's face should have been taken as a warning sign. I was too absorbed in my own awe of touching a book that literally changed the world.

. . .

The third significant event occurred when the year was almost over. On November 15th, during the Shichi-Go-San festival my family had all dressed up to visit a shrine and during the day we had found a small, lost, crying child. A little girl with pink hair who looked up at us shy through long bangs.

My first Canon character. Haruno Sakura.

Sakura though wasn't the most troubling part of the evening, though I stood shell-shocked as Taro offered his candy to soothe the crying girl in a rare act of sociability when he was normally crushingly shy around strangers.

No, Haruno Sakura was an incredibly adorable, mostly harmless little girl right now.

What was troubling was the unfamiliar couple, the woman with soft pink hair, returning with my mother who had gone to look for them. What was troubling was they were not Mebuki and Kizashi. What was troubling was the gangly figure pushing his way through the crowd frantic, his hakama in disarray as he hurried our way.

What was troubling was the seven-year-old boy shouting, "Sakura!" and being answered by Sakura, an only child, looking up with an instant smile and calling out in return "Nii-chan!".

What was troubling was I might not be in fucking Canon.

AN: Well, it has been awhile. This story is not dead despite the time between when we last met. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it?

Thank you to everyone who has Reviewed, Followed, Favorited, and just given this story a chance. I promise not to disappear for six months again.