Get ready for a conversation that was long overdue. Not the one you might have expected but still. I will not cut it in half this time, so this will be a longer chapter, especially for Stargitay ;)

...

53. The Fight

Olivia was getting ready to leave. She needed to relieve Lucy and wanted to spend some time with Noah. Elliot had good hopes that he would be allowed to go home with her the next day, but he still didn't want her to go. The feeling of missing something - someone - for four years had damaged him and he felt it again immediately as soon as Olivia left each day. He couldn't remember being such a dependent person and part of him rebelled against the feeling. He was a man. He could stand on his own. Right? Of course he could. But once he was alone in his hospital bed, he couldn't deny that he missed her. He'd missed her too long.

He remembered her now, and he knew she needed space. Smothering her would make her angry and clinging to her would make her back away. It wasn't like him to be like this and he could only hope things would get better over time. He shook off the feeling of dread when she started gathering her things, and asked her,

"Will you stay until I've called Kathy?"

When Olivia looked at him, he couldn't quite read her expression. She seemed sad and tense and something else. Was it anger or could it be jealousy?

"Sure," she said after a beat, putting her coat on but setting her bag back down.

He looked into her eyes until she looked away, wondering if he was doing something wrong.

"You don't want to be here when I call her?" he asked, still trying to put his finger on how she was feeling exactly.

Olivia shrugged.

"I know I don't want to talk to her any time soon, unless she wants to apologize to me."

"I get that," he told her. "I want her to apologize to you too. To both of us."

Olivia nodded curtly and pursed her lips. Elliot decided not to push her and dialed Kathy's number.

...

Olivia couldn't deny she was a little nervous. She had a valid reason for having to leave, and part of her was relieved. She didn't know what she'd do if she saw Kathy again so soon after their altercation. Everything kept coming back to Kathy. Olivia had never thought of the woman as a mean or deceitful person. She just seemed desperate and lost sometimes, unable to deal with how her life was turning out. Maybe despair could drive people to deceit, even basically good people like Kathy. She sighed and watched Elliot while he waited for his ex-wife to pick up the phone.

They had wasted so much time and it made her sad and angry at the same time. She didn't know what she could have done differently. She had reacted the way she had, because she was who she was. The same was true for Elliot. For the longest time it had seemed like they would never be together for this exact reason - because they were who they were. She wondered if things were really going to work out for them this time around. It looked like it, but she knew they weren't done unraveling the past yet and even though she wanted to know what had happened and she wanted to know about that letter, she was a little afraid as well. Because when had things ever worked out for her? Why would it be different this time?

Elliot dropped his phone in his lap and sighed.

"She's not answering."

"Did you call the landline?"

"Yeah. And her cell."

"Maybe she's afraid to talk to you."

"She has good reason."

Olivia bit her lip. What now? It was clear to her that Elliot was eager to get answers. His detective mode was kicking in but they didn't know if they were going to like the answers they would find.

"I'm calling Maureen," Elliot suddenly said.

"She's on the West Coast, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but we can talk on the phone. I hope she's free to talk. Will you stay just a little longer?"

Olivia checked her watch. She had already texted Lucy that she'd be there before four thirty.

"I have a few minutes," she acquiesced.

Elliot quickly found his oldest daughter's phone number and Olivia was glad he'd stayed in touch with his children, even if he didn't remember that they were his children. She wondered briefly if he was in touch with Richard too, but then she focused her attention on Elliot. Maureen had picked up the phone.

...

"Hey Maureen, is this a good time?"

"Hey dad. I heard you were in an accident and I'm sorry I haven't called yet. How are you doing?"

Elliot glanced at Olivia. How was he doing? His physical condition was hardly his main concern. He felt like he was on a case that needed to be solved asap. So he told Maureen that he was on the mend, and then let her know his memories were starting to come back to him.

"Oh, that's great dad! What do you remember so far?"

Elliot looked at Olivia again. She seemed eager to know what Maureen could tell them. He smiled at her and told his daughter,

"Olivia, mostly."

There was a brief silence at the other end of the line.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah. She's here with me. When I saw her, I immediately knew that I knew her. More memories have come back since. Why didn't you ever tell me about her Maureen?"

Silence again. He heard his daughter take a deep breath.

"Maureen?"

"Mom asked us not to."

Elliot closed his eyes briefly. Kathleen had told them Kathy had asked his kids not to tell him about his job, but he still didn't understand why they had all gone along with it so easily.

"Why?" he asked.

"Dad, she just ..."

Maureen was at a loss for words, and the less she told him, the more he had the feeling that she knew a lot more than she was saying.

"She just what, Maureen?" Elliot asked her more urgently. It was pissing him off that she wouldn't just answer the question. "Do you know something we should know about?"

"We?" Maureen asked immediately, a sharp edge to her voice. "Who's we?"

"Olivia and me," Elliot said with a sigh. "Honey, it turns out that Olivia was the key to getting a lot of my memories back. I just want to understand why no one in the family thought of involving her after I got amnesia. She was such a huge part of my life ..."

"Exactly," Maureen cut him off suddenly. "That is exactly why we didn't tell you about her. We were glad you finally left that job. It almost killed you inside, and your marriage too."

Elliot tried to stay calm but it wasn't easy. He knew Maureen still wasn't telling him everything she knew.

"Are you talking about the job or about Olivia?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Olivia stepped closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He heard Maureen sigh again, and it sounded like she was walking into a different room and closing the door behind her.

"Maybe I should tell you about that fight with mom now," she said, and she sounded deflated. "You don't remember that?"

"No, I don't," Elliot said, feeling tense and hopeful simultaneously that they were going to get some answers at last. "I remember my partnership with Olivia, right up until the shooting of that girl. After that, it's all a blur."

"Okay," Maureen said softly. "I'm glad you're remembering dad. Maybe we were wrong to try and shield you from what the job had done to you. I ... I thought I was helping mom. She really wanted another chance with you."

Elliot wanted to say something but decided to let it slide for now. He wondered if Kathy had really wanted him, or just the perfect family picture.

"Just tell me about that fight on my birthday Maur."

Then she finally told him everything she knew about that day. Kathy had organized a surprise party for his 45th birthday to cheer him up. He'd been very gloomy, especially the last month leading up to his birthday, and usually drank too much. They all hoped to lift his spirits a bit and show him that there were a lot of people who cared about him. They had managed to get quite a crowd to come, and Elliot had been genuinely surprised. He had laughed at first and was happy to see some of his more distant relatives again. But after a while, he had noticed that no one he'd known from work was there. None of his former co-workers, no one from the DA's office, TARU or the lab. He'd found Kathy and had confronted her, asking why she hadn't invited a single one of the people he'd gotten to know through work. He'd had his share of beers and other drinks by then, and hadn't exactly been quiet. When Kathy had tried to shush him, he'd gotten angry, Stabler style.

"Don't you shush me!"

"Elliot please."

"No Kathy. Just tell me why you didn't invite them!"

"Well, it's not like you've been keeping in touch anyway," Kathy argued. "I thought you'd left that life behind you. It's time to look at the future, Elliot."

"What future?!" Elliot spat. "Do I just sit around the house like I have been doing these past months? Because you gotta admit Kathy, it's not like things are getting any better between us."

"I wanna keep trying Elliot," Kathy hissed, keeping her voice down and trying to get him to do the same.

"Why?" he yelled. "It's not going anywhere and you know it!"

"Elliot!"

Elliot stalked closer to his wife, getting in her face while he spoke.

"You gotta face it some time, Kathy. Maybe it wasn't the job all this time. Maybe it was us."

And then Kathy finally snapped.

"Or maybe it was your beloved Olivia!"

"What?!"

"You heard me. I know you were drooling all over her Elliot. You spent more time with her than you did with me!"

"We were working!"

"Blah blah blah. I've heard that one once too many times Elliot. How stupid do you think I am? How many times did you sleep with her?"

"Shut up!"

"No Elliot. Let's do this once and for all. How many times!"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Elliot hissed.

Their faces were just inches apart and neither of them was backing away.

"I think I know damn well what I'm talking about. Or else, why wouldn't you just answer the question?"

"Never."

"Excuse me?"

"Not. Once. Never."

Kathy scoffed.

"I wouldn't do that to you, or to her. And she wouldn't do that to you. She's a decent person!"

"But you want her. I know you do!" Kathy spat, recovering quickly from her shock at Elliot's answer.

"I know I don't want this anymore, Kathy. Things haven't gotten better at all since I retired. Only worse, and I'm done."

That finally stunned Kathy into silence, but only briefly. She took a small step back to create some distance between her and her husband, and then spoke again.

"You're going to run back to her?"

Elliot took a step towards her, closing the distance once again.

"You really don't get it, do you?" he said, his voice a low, menacing rumble.

Kathy's response was a reflex.

"Looks like she's finally done with you too, doesn't it. Since she stood you up. So where you gonna go now?"

Disbelief flashed across Elliot's face, followed quickly by realization.

"Yeah. She stood me up. But how do you know about that!"

Kathy didn't say a word.

"You followed me?"

"Of course not."

Elliot turned away from her and Kathy took a deep breath, finally free of his suffocating proximity. He glanced around and saw Maureen watching them, her eyes filled with worry. Elliot turned back around slowly to face his wife.

"Did you see the letter?"

The guilt in Kathy's eyes was immediate and something clicked in Elliot's brain.

"Did she even get the letter?!"

He looked like he was ready to explode. He would never lay a hand on a woman, but Maureen knew he would have knocked Kathy out if she'd been a man.

"Screw you Kathy," he hissed. "I never want to see your face again!"

"You ran out after that and the rest is history," Maureen concluded sadly.

"My God," Elliot sighed. He didn't remember that fight but the rage that was bubbling inside his gut felt very familiar.

"I'm sorry daddy. I just ... I just wanted you guys to try again, one more time. Please tell Olivia I'm sorry too."

"What was in that letter?" Elliot asked his daughter while putting a hand to his forehead.

Those damned headaches were becoming annoying.

"I don't know. You should ask mom."

"I will, Maureen. Believe me, I will."

...

Dun dun!

Some answers at last. And new questions! Please review and feel free to speculate about this story (I just love it when you guys speculate, it makes me feel important, hahahah!)