RPOV

I was worried about Dimitri, that was for sure. He didn't say anything the entire time we were flying. Christian took us back to Dimitri's cave. It took almost three days, and not a single word came out of his mouth. Christian and I had shared looks with each other. Now Dimitri had never been the chatty type, but his silence was concerning, to say the least. Where Dimitri used to seem so large with the way he carried himself, he now seemed so small, almost childlike.

He sat at the kitchen table picking at his food. I had imagined he would be ravenous after months of torture. I mean, God knows what they were feeding him. But he barely ate. I was in the alcove next to him standing beside Christian. He was leaving to visit Lissa once the sun came up. I had wanted to go with him, but we both agreed Dimitri wasn't in any position to be left alone right now. Maybe in a few days or weeks, he would be up for visitors and Christian and Lissa could come here.

"It's like he isn't even there."

I punched Christian in the arm.

"He is in there; he has just been through a lot. He will come around, I know he will." I wondered who I was trying to convince, Christian or myself.

"I hope so. Dimitri has always held himself up to a higher standard than others. He earned his name, but I worry that what he did will take away his whole identity. I think the torture he could have survived, but this?… I don't know."

I knew he was right. This wasn't about what Galina had done to him, although I could tell that had affected him too. He was somewhat afraid of fire, and for a Fire Dragon to be afraid of fire he must have been through something terrifying. Furthermore, he kept testing his own flame, as if it wouldn't be here a moment later. I knew he felt disconnected from who he was. But I was determined to help him through this.

"But, you were awesome. Got a handle on that flame of yours now don't you?" Christian said as he nudged my arm.

I nodded. I felt like I was in control, like it had finally integrated with me completely. I wasn't afraid I would go off like a bomb anymore.

"Yeah, I think I did okay."

He sniggered.

"Right, you did okay. You took the two top enemies out and probably ended this war."

I smiled and put my hands on my hips cockily turning to him.

"So did I earn my nickname yet? In light of recent events, I would say Rose the Brave or Rose the Awesome is in order. Or maybe Rose the Badass. Oh, I like the sound of that."

He leaned in a bit with a smirk on his face.

"Nope, none of the above. Even if you dive headfirst into a nest of Strigoi, you do it to protect the ones you love. Many soldiers do it for glory, or because they were simply trained to, or like me because they want to contribute and make a difference. But you will take on any fight if it means saving the people you love. So to me, you are Rose the Protective."

I suppose I could live with that name. And he was right. Both my victories over the Snow Dragons were because of someone I loved. But he was wrong about one thing. I didn't save Mason, and I am not sure I saved Dimitri either. I might have physically got him out of there, but I knew that saving Dimitri, would take much more time.

"So are you going to miss me? I mean we did spend four months together."

"Yeah, I am going to miss you, like a bad toothache." He cracked up at his own joke, and I punched him in the arm.

"I am glad we did this, and not just because we got Dimitri back or that I have hopefully paid my debt to Yeva. I could have thought of worse ways to spend these last few months then hanging around with you."

I was about to give him a hug when he finished his thought.

"Of course I could also think a million better ways I could have spent it."

I groaned and shooed him out the door.

"Go on off you go. Go annoy Lissa for a bit. After four months of staring at your Snarky ass, I am done with you."

He laughed but did ride the first morning light towards my hometown eager to rejoin Lissa after being months apart.

So it was just Dimitri and me. Something I had dreamed about for the past four months, yet somehow I was dreading going back into the kitchen towards that depressing silence.

But I did and took a plate of breakfast for myself.

I sat across from him and started to pick at my food.

"Christian's going to Lissa?"

They were the first words he had said, and even though they were simply inquiring about a friend it did send warm and fuzzy feelings straight to my heart. I nodded.

"You can go too if you want. You don't have to stay here."

I looked a little hurt at him. Did he actually want me to leave? I crossed my arms a little defensively.

"I am good here, thanks."

I saw he picked up on my slightly hostile demeanor and I could tell it affected him. He looked rather annoyed. Good, at least something else than guilt.

"Oh come on Rose, I know you don't want to be here. I don't need you to babysit me. I know this isn't the homecoming you planned, so if you want to leave just leave."

I knew he wasn't just talking about right now. He seemed to think I was on the verg of leaving him. How could he even say that? I was done with the gentle mitten gloved hands. Time to bring out the claws. I was never the nurturing type anyway.

"Are you shitting me? No, this is not the homecoming I had imagined. Because I hadn't imagined anything. For the past few months, I didn't allow myself to think of anything other than finding you. Because if I did, I knew I would crumble. If I allowed myself to think what you were going through, or even if you were still alive, I wouldn't have been able to move. So I stuffed all of that down. I focused on the job of getting you back. And you saying now that I have gotten you back, I should just leave?"

I had gotten up during my rant and had walked around the table towards him.

He too had gotten up, and saw anger in his eyes at my words accompanied by a flash of fire. The fire I had missed in his eyes for the past few days. The fire I had been deprived of the last few months.

"You wanted to save your Dimitri. He is dead. Galina might as well have killed me. I am nothing anymore Roza. I am nothing, and you'd be better off just moving on."

I stood there taking in his words. I was too flabbergasted to even speak, so I didn't. Instead, I slapped him across the face.

"Don't you dare tell me what I should do! You think I am the kind of person that walks away from the person she loves most in this world, because he is going through a rough patch? You really think that little of me? Well, fuck you Dimitri the Honorable. Fuck you."

And I stormed off. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I slapped him, but my hand had moved on it'ss own.

I sat down on his bed, and I had to resist the urge to lie down and take a big whiff of his scent. The same scent I had smelled the first day I was here. I wish we could go back to there.

After about thirty minutes he came into his bedroom and sat down next to me. We were both staring towards the cave wall not looking at each other.

"I am not the man I was Roza. I don't know if I will ever be again. Galina might have failed in her plan to get the military to bend their knee, but she did succeed in breaking me. I just don't know where to go from here."

I placed a hand on his hand which was sitting next to him on the bed. There was still some space between us, but I think closing that distance would scare him off, so for now, I settled for that tiny bit of physical contact.

"I am not the same girl either. The things I have done to find you… I did horrible things. Yes, it was to horrible people and necessary to find you, but I did them anyway. And part of me liked it. There is something satisfying about having complete control over someone, so that they tell you everything. I crossed so many lines to find you. Christian and I deserted the squad; I tortured Snow Dragons. And what I did in the cave. I simply killed them all. It frightens me just how easy it was for me to wipe them from the face of the earth and turn them into nothing but ashes. Maybe I am no better than Galina."

For a moment Dimitri looked at me confused then it was like he was relaying back the events of the cave.

"That was you. You were the sun."

To illustrate his point, I let the flames engulf me and shine bright. Everything about me was pure fire, and I could see Dimitri looking at me in awe. He touched my face, and I was glad to see it didn't burn him. He gently smiled.

"Something so warm, gentle and beautiful could never turn into something as depraved as Galina. You are amazing and these past few months have only made you stronger."

He sounded proud, but I could also see he was distancing himself, because he didn't think it had made him stronger. I laughed and cried as I contemplated the ridiculousness of his statement.

"I am so tired of being strong. I am so tired of holding on. For the past few months, I have barely been able to keep it together. I missed you so much. At times it felt like I couldn't take another step without you. I know your time was worse, but these last few months have been hell for me too."

I saw something soft come over his face as I balled my eyes out. I buried my head in his chest letting all the tension and braveness I had to have these past four months leave me. I gripped his shirt as I cried and cried. Repeating how I have missed him and how I wouldn't have survived if he had died. He pulled me close and whispered that it was going to be okay. Maybe that is what he needed; maybe his protective side would come back once it was needed.

I pulled back a little, and he used his hand to dry my tears.

"I am not going anywhere, Comrade. I know it will take time to get to somewhere normal. You don't have to be General Dimitri the Honorable with me. As long as you are still my Comrade. As long as you still love me as I love you, I know we can come back from this. Do you? Do you still love me?"

I sounded desperate, but I needed to know. He gently brushed my cheek and leaned in to swipe his lips over mine.

"Always."

The next few days he seemed to be getting a little better. We coexisted peacefully even if there was barely any physical contact, apart from that one gentle kiss. I knew part of it was because he was physically hurt. He could barely walk sometimes, and he flinched every time he put on clothes. He grabbed his ribs once when he wanted a book from the top shelf, so I suppose his ribs had taken a beating at some point too. So I didn't push him.

He said little other than questions about what I wanted for dinner, but at least he was talking. And at night we slept in the same bed. I wasn't able to snuggle up to him much because of his injuries, but most nights we would lay facing each other and touching fingers until we fell asleep.

He spent almost all hours of the day on the sundeck. The desperation with which he craved the sun told me he hadn't seen any in the past few months. It was as if those bright rays were a confirmation to him that he was still alive and still a Fire Dragon.

He hadn't talked about what she did to him, so I was surprised when he started to talk while we were on the sundeck.

"The worst things she did to me wasn't the physical torture, yes it hurt, and on my deathbed, I will still be able to accurately describe the pain, but the worst thing she did was take my flame away. Without it, I felt like I had lost myself. She would occasionally give it back for a few seconds, by taking the collar off, or she would allow me a glimmer of it when I was in the shackles in Dragon form, but in a way, it made it so much worse. It was always just out of reach. It got to me. She made me afraid of fire. The things she did with it while I had the collar on made sure I never looked at fire the same way again. I should have been able to handle it better, you did. It was the worst thing besides…"

"Besides what, what else did she do to you?"

He looked at me, and I could see the tears and brim of his eyes.

"Towards the end, she realized I had someone special in my life, and the way to break me was to break you. She threatened you, and I should have acted cool, I shouldn't have given her the satisfaction of knowing she had found my weakness, but I lost it. The depth of despair I felt at that moment, knowing she had all the power and I was defenseless in chains, unable to save you, drove me mad."

He chuckled. A weird reaction given the circumstances, but it was nice hearing a positive emotion coming from him.

"But you really didn't need me saving you. Instead, you ended up saving me."

I scooted a little closer to him and nudged his shoulder.

"Apparently that is what I do. I won't let anyone mess with the people I love. Christian has dubbed me Rose the Protective. He says I only run headfirst into danger when it is for someone I love. We were supposed to just check the place out, count the number of Snow Dragons that sort of thing. We were about to leave the cave when I heard you scream. I didn't think; I just charged in. It was you who finally made me control my flame. I knew I had to be able to save you without killing you in the process. It also made me tap into it like I never had before. In some ways, you saved me too."

He took my hand, and gently stroked my fingers.

"I never realized just how much you must have been suffering while you had the binding spell on."

I returned the favor and stroked his fingers.

"It was different for me. I never had a flame before. I felt like something was missing, but I never knew what it was. I think it was different for you. Your flame has been ingrained into you your whole life. Now that I finally have full access and control over it, I can't imagine ever losing it again."

He nodded but seemed unconvinced. His confidence had really taken a dive.

I snuggled a little closer careful of his injuries.

He turned to me, and our lips met for the second time in a few days. But unlike the first time, we didn't stop after a few seconds. The kiss intensified, and he pulled me closer. I moaned against him, not realizing how desperate I had been for his attention and his affection.

He pulled back all too soon, and I wondered if we had been moving too fast, but I saw he had to pull back because he was catching his breath. I was a little breathless too, but nothing like Dimitri. Being in chains and not moving for four months really hampered his stamina. I had already seen he had lost a good amount of weight, his muscle mass had greatly diminished. Sure he still looked hot and far away from a stick figure, but I could clearly see the difference. And for someone who has been active his entire life, being chained for four months couldn't have been easy. And it is still not over. We were so focused on his emotional recovery the last few days, but now I realize his physical recovery would take a while too.

I stood up and held my hand out to him.

"Let's go for a swim." I made sure I had a sexy look on my face to trick him into following me. Not that I didn't want to get naked with him and have a nice intimate swim, but swimming was also exercise he could do, even while his body was healing.

If he knew my ulterior motive, he didn't mind. Maybe because I was sexily walking towards the entrance of the cave, already unbuttoning my bodice.

He followed me inside, and by the time we had reached the internal lake, we were both naked. I gently let myself immerce in the water, and he willingly followed me. I saw him wince a bit when the water hit his burns and still raw cuts, but soon he acclimated.

I swam to a part that was deep enough so that I could swim, but not all the way towards the center where the water was getting colder. We floated around for a bit, letting the water soothe us. Dimitri had an almost serene expression on his face, and I practically could see all his trouble wash off of him. I wonder how long it had been since he had a bath.

When we first arrived, he had washed himself, but mostly with a cloth. If he had bathed then he would have drowned, because he didn't have the strength to swim. He had been dirty, but I would have expected much worse if he hadn't been able to clean himself for four months.

But with the water, all the blood and soot washed away, and I could see him coming back to himself just a little bit. He told me the old Dimitri was gone, and although I knew he would never be the same, he did become more and more himself each day.

I swam towards him and started to splash a little water his way. It was time to get a little active. I swam away after I had splashed him and he would have to follow me. After he was over the shock of me dumping a gallon of water in his face, he set off in his pursuit. He was still slow, but he was a hundred percent better than a few days ago. I kept evading him until I heard his breathing increase. His loss of stamina hadn't been able to make up for his longer strides, but he had gotten close a few times.

I came close again, and he swam a little backwards with a smile on his face, anticipating another tidal wave.

"I'll be good I promise," I said with a pout.

I swam towards him wiping his face and kissed him on the cheek as a peace offering. Well, it was first his cheek, then as I moved a little towards his lips and he met me halfway. And like before it immediately went to passionate and desperate. I slid my tongue inside, and I was happy to note that he eagerly took it, sucking on it and caressing it with his own. I pulled myself up a little on his neck and wrapped my legs around him, and entwined my fingers into his hair. He supported my back and ass with his big hands.

I started to unconsciously grind my hips against his body, and I could feel him enlarge underneath me. I let go of his lips for a moment to gasp and moan. I shouldn't have because he pulled back a little and winced.

"Rose, I am not sure… I don't know if I am capable of… anything like this yet."

I know he was in no physical condition to take me the way he used to. And honestly, I hadn't planned on it. I knew he could barely walk straight and he still had the bruised or broken ribs. Maybe he could lie in bed, and I could ride him? He wouldn't have to do anything. But those were thoughts for later, because as much as I wanted to believe Dimitri was referring to his physical condition, I knew he meant he wasn't ready emotionally. He had gotten better the last few days; he hadn't demanded I leave him because he was nothing. But there was still unsaid phrase in his mind. 'I am not worth your affections, I am not worth anything.' He was denying himself any kind of relief or happiness, because he didn't think he deserved it. He thought he had been weak, he blamed himself for the village he burned.

It is funny, because I had had those exact same thoughts. I had thought I had been weak with Jesse where Dimitri had seen only strength. With Viktor I believed I was a monster, but he only saw an innocent. And now the tables were turned and I needed to convince him how I saw him. As a survivor.

I smiled and looked up at him. I knew having sex with him was pushing it. I didn't need him to be self-conscious about one more thing.

"Don't worry, I just wanted to have a swim, I am willing to wait as long as it takes."

I saw him visibly relax. But as much as I wanted to give him the space he needed, I also needed him to know that although I was willing to wait, I wasn't going to make it easy on him. He needed to be pushed a little. Otherwise, he would stay in this self-proclaimed darkness forever.

"But, it has been four months, so I do need some release every now and then. I hope you don't mind."

I swam towards a part where I could stand and ran my fingers down my breasts and under the surface of the water. The water was clear enough so Dimitri could follow its trail, right down between my legs. I saw his eyes widen, and his eyes glaze over in lust. Good, exactly the reaction I wanted.

My finger found my sensitive nub, and I started to circle it. Honestly, it had been four months. Somehow pleasuring myself with Christian lying next to me, just didn't do it for me. So even though I had wanted to trigger Dimitri a bit, I was soon lost to my own ministration.

My breathing became heavier, and I couldn't help but let out small moans. I switched between touching my clit and running my fingers between my folds and inserting them inside. I had one hand between my legs, and my other was massaging my breast.

I increased the pace already nearing desperation when I looked at Dimitri. His cock was hard, and the tip was just above the water. I could see his hand wrapped around it. He was unsure of how to proceed. His body told him one thing, his mind another. So I decided to help him along.

Reluctantly, I let go of myself and walked over to him. I put my hand around his hand, and together we moved our hands up and down his shaft. Once he had a steady rhythm, I let go and returned to my own pleasure. I looked down at the movements of his hands and his turgid member. I couldn't deny I had missed that too and that I was desperate to have it inside of me again. But I had to remind myself to take baby steps, frustrating and almost painful, baby steps.

I stayed close to him so he could see how four months without him had affected me. I had to steady myself using his body by putting my hand on his shoulder as the other was rubbing myself vigorously. I was so close. I had closed my eyes to experience the sensation to its fullest, but opened them as I felt long fingers enter me. The look on his face combined with his fingers inserted inside of me was more than enough, and I came hard on his fingers while praising his name. He slowly brought me down from my much-needed orgasm, and when I was able to focus again I saw he had stopped touching himself. Obviously, he had used one hand to pleasure me, but that one was free again. But now that I was satisfied, he seemed unsure of how to proceed even though the small drop of pre-cum on his tip clearly told me what his body wanted.

I grabbed his hand and led him towards the bedrock beside the lake.

"Lay down."

I saw he wanted to protest. Something about not being ready for sex. But once I was positioned my head between his legs, his protest died on his lips.

I licked the pearly drop off of his tip and heard him hiss. I imagine it had been four months for him too. Or Galina had some weird idea of torture, although I could think of a thing or two you could do in that area, but was somewhat pleased to see Galina had shied away from that.

How he had any restraint not to take himself in his hand and come in the water, I didn't know. Once I had touched myself, there was no going back for me.

I swirled my tongue around his tip and wrapped my hand around the base and started to lower my lips and mouth onto him. I couldn't go that far, but used my hands to continue the rest of the motion, occasionally touching his balls, something that earned me a buck from his hips. I swirled my tongue around and sucked at the same time, creating a small vacuum. I teased the tip, I licked the ridge, it really didn't matter what I did, everything earned me a moan, a hiss or a buck. He had long relinquished any pretense of not wanting this, and had his hands firmly wrapped in my hair and with each suck, he pulled me down a little and pushed his hips up a bit.

"Roza, I am close."

I gave him one more suck as I forcefully pulled back letting his tip leave my mouth with a pop. I used my hand to move up and down fast for a few more strokes before I was rewarded with my name on his lips and his cum on my face.

I looked up from his groan towards his face and saw a blissed-out Dimitri smiling gently at me. I moved over to give him a kiss, but thought better off it when a clump of cum fell on his chest.

"Well, I guess another bath is in order."

And with my hand holding his we returned to the lake, where we spend most of the afternoon, swimming, kissing, drifting and most of all healing.