Thanks to my reviewers again for all your kind words. You're the best! I'm sticking with the short-ish chapters and slow (realistic) development of the story, so bear with me, and feel free to save up a few chapters and just read them in one go if you prefer longer bursts. Here's little chapter 54 for you all.

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54. Energy

Olivia had gone home with very mixed emotions. Elliot had written her a letter in September, after his retirement. Apparently, he'd wanted to set up a meeting with her. Since she'd never gotten the letter, naturally she hadn't been there. She wondered if she would have met him if she had received the letter. In part, it would have depended on what else was in the letter, but she knew she probably would have met him. And then on his birthday, he may have been on his way to see her. How would she have reacted if he'd suddenly shown up on her doorstep, half drunk and fuming?

She shook her head. They would never know now. These were what-ifs that would never be answered and it looked more and more like it was all on Kathy. Maureen had assumed that Elliot had written her a goodbye letter, but after overhearing their fight, she must have known better. She had been loyal to her mother, wanting her to have one more chance with her father after he'd lost his memory, having forgotten that he'd just walked out on his wife. They had all gone along with it, and that hurt. They had felt that, in order for their parents to have a real shot at happiness, she shouldn't be anywhere near them.

Maureen had apologized over the phone, so Elliot had told her. To both of them. Olivia wanted to accept her apology, just like Kathleen's and Bernie's, but the pain would remain for a long time to come. They hadn't wanted her around.

On the bright side, Elliot would probably be released into her care the next day. His headaches hadn't gotten worse and if he made it through the night without any new incidents, they were willing to let him go. He would need to check in weekly though, and the amnesia specialist wanted to schedule a few appointments as well. Olivia had urged Elliot not to ask Kathy to come over that night, because she feared he would have another migraine attack and that his doctor wouldn't let him go. Elliot maintained that he wasn't going to receive Kathy at her place, and she told him they'd think of something.

Right now, she was watching Noah attempt to brush his own teeth. He was making lots of foam and was having fun, and she couldn't help smiling. Focusing on her son, she set about trying to help him, although Noah thought that was completely unnecessary. They had a lot of fun together, and after she'd read Noah two bedtime stories, she stayed with him for a little longer, half sitting, half laying on his big boy bed with him. Noah was her number one priority, and a big reason she hadn't even bothered trying to date lately. She simply didn't have the energy to do her job, take care of Noah and invest in new relationships.

She thought of Elliot. He wasn't exactly a new relationship, and without having to think about it, she was pouring enormous amounts of energy into him and their relationship. She smiled and kissed Noah's forehead as he dozed off in her arm. Hadn't it always been that way? No matter how busy they'd been and how little sleep they had gotten at times, she had always found time to check in with Elliot, like he had with her. They had made time to check in with each other, and it hadn't been an effort. Having Elliot around had always been so natural, and that's why it had hurt so deeply to suddenly be without him. Without any warning, there wasn't anyone checking in with her anymore. Not like he had, wordlessly understanding her, not asking any difficult questions, making her feel anchored and safe just by being there.

Olivia had tried to find someone after Elliot left. David had helped her see that all wasn't lost. There were still good men out there, willing to take the time to get to know her. She still thought she would have opened up further to him if he'd stuck around. Only he hadn't, and she'd locked her heart away once more. She and Brian had had a good run and she still blamed Lewis for destroying it. It wasn't all his fault and she knew it, but it was easier to blame Lewis than to admit she would never have let Brian in completely. She loved him, but they were just too different, no matter how hard they'd tried to make it work. Or maybe, how hard Brian had tried. He deserved more than she could give him in the end.

And now she had Noah. Sweet Noah who had changed her life more than any other man had managed to do. He had changed her priorities and had made her see she needed to focus on other things aside from her job. She had always treated her job as her life's goal but there was more. It was possible to have a life outside the job as well, and her now sleeping son was living proof of that. Olivia still felt she didn't see him enough, but his love for her showed her every single day that she must be doing something right.
Her thoughts drifted to Eli. Could it really be, that he wasn't Elliot's after all? That Kathy had somehow tricked him into coming back? She couldn't imagine it. How could she have known Elliot would come over and sleep with her? She hadn't exactly been inviting during the time they'd been separated. She honestly hoped Eli would turn out to be Elliot's, for everyone's sake. She blocked all thoughts about having been young enough to have a child of her own at the time Kathy had gotten pregnant again. That was another life, that she had already mourned over. She wasn't going to dwell on it again.

When she finally left Noah's room, she took a shower and changed into her pajamas, planning to turn in early. She wondered if Elliot had tried calling Kathy again, and if so, if she'd picked up the phone. He had promised her he'd call her if he heard from her, so she kept her phone nearby while she had one glass of wine before going to bed. Just when she got up to brush her teeth and call it a night, her phone rang. It was Elliot.

"Hey, I was just about to turn in."

"Hey, me too," Elliot joked, and she could almost hear his smile through the phone.

"Did you try calling Kathy again?" Olivia asked, getting straight to the point.

"I did. She didn't answer but finally sent me a text, telling me she was at work, working a late shift, and she'd call me back tomorrow."

Olivia sighed. It made sense that the woman wouldn't be up for a heavy conversation with her angry ex while at work.

"If she agrees to meet me and I'm released already, I thought we could do it somewhere near the hospital, or otherwise somewhere near your place."

"In public?" Olivia asked incredulously.

That didn't sound like the wisest idea, considering things might get a little heated between the two former spouses. She heard Elliot chuckle and she was glad he was so relaxed.

"Yeah, maybe we should rent a hotel room and talk there," he suggested and Olivia shook her head.

"You can do it here El, it's fine with me."

"No Liv, I'm not going to expose your son to such an ugly confrontation," Elliot argued, "and I don't want her at your place at all. It's yours and it's not the right place to hash out my family problems. Let's just wait and see what time she calls, okay? We'll take it from there."

Olivia had no choice but to agree with his reasoning, and they ended the call. Olivia felt a chill shoot up her spine when Elliot told her softly,

"I love you Liv."

"I ... I know," she stammered, trying to let the new reality sink in that they could say these things to each other now.

"We'll be okay, no matter what."

"Yeah. I love you too El."

"Sleep well."

"You too."

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