3: Play Dates and Pink Children

The end to my peace of mind came like this.

We had been preparing for the Shichi-Go-San Festival for weeks, ordering the shoes, renting the kimono, and arranging to schedule time with the in demand and rare photographer. Kaa-chan was thrilled to finally get that photo of us. Cameras were much more restricted in the immediate time following the war and previously only for the elite and military use. Kaa-chan spoke enthusiastically to Tou-chan over breakfast about the technology finally becoming more available and how one enterprising company was using the elimination of the last war time restrictions to open up a business here in Konoha. She was bursting at the idea of handheld cameras which had previously only been legal to buy if you were an active shinobi.

I was personally thrilled to wear a kimono and it had been a long nurtured anime nerd dream of mine to don the iconic clothing. But even cheap yukatas, which is what I could usually find, were rather expensive. I was prancing in my white and purple kimono dotted with pink purple morning glories.

It was a small tribute to my first mother that I had chosen this one when Kaa-chan asked my opinion. She had called me her "Morning Glory" since I'd been small. I figured wearing the flower would be a good way to honor her memory with this new family photo. A way of connecting the two even if I was the only one who noticed it. Kaa-chan seemed to have noticed my odd seriousness and allowed it ignoring the suggestions of the more popular pink ones and going with my understated choice. I had loved her fiercely for it.

When the day arrived the house was in a cheerful chaos to prepare and get dressed in time. Kaa-chan, who rarely truly fussed, she was too practical to fuss over minor details, spent the enter time nervously readjusting our hair and making sure we were perfect. Taro was actually an amazingly well-behaved child, but even he was starting to get antsy under her hands pulling at his hair and neatening his haori and fighting with a curl that had escaped.

Our life was pretty regulated so this was the first time we were really interacting with a large crowd of strangers. At the restaurant Jiji and Baba mainly kept us in the back rooms which were designated for family. Rambunctious three, almost four year olds, were harder to carry around and show off when you had a business to run. Even when the customers were old familiar faces. At the library our shyness, well rather Taro's shyness and my introversion, kept us to ourselves. Besides the library was a quiet place that was not very busy at any time.

Arriving at the Towa Shrine was an experience.

There was a crowd that took me back to the Mushroom Festival from my hometown in my first life. It was packed and people were wondering about laughing and buying treats from the stands. It was a colorful sea of silk kimonos and hakamas of all different sizes and styles. To one side there was a towering woman, elegant with a bright orange koi going down a gleaming silver river against dark blue silk a little boy dozing in her arms, sticky hands clinging to her shoulders. On the other side, a man's formal hakama with three family seals on the back and two on the front the silk untouched by any dirt and his face serious as her escorted a smiling little girl in bright pink.

Taro and I were overwhelmed. Even with my age I found myself grabbing tight to my brother's hand and holding the edge of Tou-chan's formal haori. The actual trip to the shrine was strangely quick. It was a beautiful wooden building that gave me a similar, but slightly different feeling to visiting a cathedral. I still felt the quiet respectful awe I kept towards places of worship, but where Christian cathedrals had dwarfed me with their size and stained glass and untouchable artefacts Towa Shrine actually seemed to make me physically feel something. It was a confusing rich, natural energy that I could only describe as green and tasting like a fresh day after the rain has made the plants green and bright again with life.

It felt refreshing but we were only there for a few moments. Our parents took us forward to be blessed and then back out to get our candy allowing the long line of visitors to continue. It was fascinating for me to look up into the serious round face of the olive skinned miko doing the blessing. The odd confusing feeling though sparked when she said her words even shaper, but almost the moment I categorized it it faded away, leaving a cold feeling spreading through my chest and a sudden drowsiness.

We were quickly rushed to the photographer and it was a fight not to yawn as the photos were taken with the old camera.

Tou-chan noticed my sleepiness and took us to rest on a side bench while Kaa-chan arranged for the photos to be delivered.

I was dozing against Tou-chan when Taro stopped eating his red-and-white candy and looked up eyes wide and focusing on something in the crowd. Then he looked at me and pulled at my sleeve. I withdrew from my comfortable position somewhat reluctantly, now that Tou-chan was dozing as well he had relaxed into a nice warm bed. Taro's black eyes looked panicked and he pointed me towards the source of his distress.

A small, much too small to be alone even in Konoha, pink haired girl was cowering next to a stand, hands tightly gripping her pink kimono in small fists. She was looking around fearfully, face twisted up as huge tears fell from big green eyes. She was so very, very tiny I wanted to grab her and wrap her up where the world couldn't touch her.

Instead, I stared feeling vaguely horrified at her being alone and distantly panicked because I knew exactly who this was.

My mind rushed trying to decide what to do. Avoid. Don't avoid. Crying child. But Canon is dangerous. She's two. The third, most dangerous two year old we could meet.

Taro, I have said before is a good child. A kind, sweet boy. Our parents had raised us to help others and have the group before self mentality. I had only furthered it peppering his night time with stories of kind, intelligent, and brave heroes. His favorite heroes were Donna the Temp and most important woman in the universe, the Doctor who chose kindness, Harry Potter who never used a Killing Curse, Wonder Woman who said to be kind and extend your hand, the mouse who removed a thorn, a rabbit who believed in love, and friends who trusted in each other to save the world and did so by offering a scared child a helping hand. Those were the kinds of heroes my brother wanted to be like.

He went to the little girl with a determined look and sealed our fate by offering her some candy and a shaky smile.

Taro in that moment made me incredibly proud and also terrified at the consequences.

Then our parents found the family as I hovered indecisively beside the two shy children bonding under my sharp gaze.

Then my worldview broke and reformed with a "Nii-san!".

. . .

I was not looking forward to this playdate. I was so obvious with my intense feelings on it that I had more than once overheard my parents talking anxiously about it in their rooms. They were convinced it was a jealousy thing as I had never had to share Taro before.

This was actually a pretty fair idea. I was a possessive person about my possessions and while I understood people were not items my possessiveness had extended to my people as well. Hell, in college I had joined a club, attended and became part of the leadership of the club, and aggressively befriended all the members in the inner circle just because my best friend had started to spend more time with them than me which was only acceptable if they were also mine. I won't deny I was at time childish and greed was probably my cardinal sin. I hoarded my things and people worse than a dragon.

It made me a hoarder and clingy.

My parents had by now realized this as well, it had especially been prevalent when I was younger and had much less control on my emotional state. I'd actually bitten Tou-chan when he'd jokingly taken some food. The only time I'd suffer sharing food was if it was my decision or it was Taro. Siblings, as in my past life, were somewhat exempt from the rule involving my things.

It wasn't like I didn't understand where it was coming from having food, safety, clothing, and people taken from you when you were younger made you a bit fiercer about them when you grew up. That it had held through to a second life when my anxiety, depression, and PTSD had not for the most part spoke of how much it had become a part of me.

My things were mine and what was mine was kept safe and happy.

I hadn't even considered the prospect of sharing, but for everything I was I loved and wanted the best for Taro. I had no intention of letting any possible jealousy over a child ruin his first budding friendship. That would make me a bigger asshole than I was normally.

No, I had bigger, more annoying problems.

Namely the Canon destroyer, Haruno Shion, who had thoroughly ruined my life. At least, if I was having a more dramatic moment that was how I referred to him. He was more of a catalyst to realizing I may be wrong than anything.

Shion was a seemingly gentle, very protective boy. A true pretty boy even at the tender age of seven. He had a heart shaped face he'd clearly inherited from his mother, lovely eyes that were a deep green, and the memorable pink hair of a soft winter dawn. He was a cute kid and looked just like his stunning mother, where Sakura resembled their father.

He, unlike the parents, ruined my chances of being in Canon.

Sakura's parents, Sawaka and Toriyoshi, were far from Mebuki and Kizashi. Instead of the goofy, shinobi couple they were two very well off, complete civilians. Sawaka was a delicate beauty with her large eyes, long sunset hair, and fragile bone structure. She carried herself like a Geisha, floating on her sandals, and spoke with a soft musical voice. She was a stunner who looked incredibly young for her age. Honestly, she made my non-existent hormones preemptively swoon. Toriyoshi wasn't any easier to handle on that front. He had pale blond hair and that charming proud smile I recognized as Sakura's. She'd gotten her wide forehead and facial shape from him. I suspected, openly staring at the muscles, her eventually physique came partially from him as well. He was a very handsome man, who was loud and clearly adored his family. A banker, he had a sharp intellect that peeked out carefully behind his jovial expression.

Parents though could have just meant Manga-verse where they had never been shown. The additional brother was too much though.

So Shion, named after the small purple wildflowers symbolizing "remembrance", meant my memories were useless.

I was not pleased about this.

. . .

The playdate was scheduled not too long after our initial meeting on my mother's rare day off. It was a cool November day and would have been Thanksgiving in another life, in another world. I had spent years before eagerly awaiting the two Thanksgivings dinners, always carefully negotiated between my two grandmothers so we would be sure to be hungry again by the time the second one occurred. Mammee preferred to claim the evenings filling us up with rich turkey, chicken and dumplings, and Papaw's homemade mashed potatoes. Virginia took brunch with light snacks of ham sandwiches and devilled eggs.

It had been such an important holiday to my family that I'd made a point to spend the last two as a day of remembrance.

The playdate taking this away did not improve my mood and I was a bit grumpy as Kaa-chan decided to help us get ready.

Kaa-chan helped pull my hair back, tying some to the side with two little pink ribbons to match the pink princess dress Baba and Jiji had bought. They'd even broken out my shiny little black buckle shoes. Taro was absolutely ecstatic at the concept of dressing up and all our shared efforts towards independence were forgotten as he eagerly put on his new clothes a tiny little button down with shorts and his own black shoes. He was most thrilled by being allowed to borrow Tou-chan's hair gel and carefully used it to smooth back his unruly hair. It was rather adorable. The volume in it it still had some poof and looked more Urameshi Yusuke, teeny punk edition, than Alfalfa.

Taro insisted on dragging me in front of the mirror to admire ourselves to our parents and my amusement. We were adorable though. Taro was quite frankly angelic with his large black eyes, ungodly long lashes, cherubic cheeks, and sweet smile. I looked like a little doll with my fair skin, big gray eyes, delicate features, and lovely arched Cupid's bow.

We were both very beautiful children. Honestly, I was better looking now by a large margin. I would have wept over such easy to manage hair and flawless skin.

Looking over us I realized then, I hadn't spent much time looking at myself before. It made me uncomfortable to be without the familiar blue eyes I'd resented and loved from my birth father or the wild curls I'd inherited from my Mom. Without the flaws I'd fought a hardwon war to accept and learn to love. I took the time to really look and noticed the ghost of Kaa-chan's nose, Baba's nose; Jiji's strangely delicate seashell ears; and an unfamiliar delicate shape of our face. We really didn't have much of Tou-chan. Though I suppose my gray eyes were a similar though more startling version of his own. Maybe we'd end up with his height in the future. Being tall would be an interesting change.

I smiled for the first time that day, slightly amused at the thought.

Then Kaa-chan said, "Time to go."

I looked up and was a little startled to find her in her best clothes, a neat black A-line skirt and a white blouse paired with a cardigan. She was even wearing a touch of makeup and some subdued silver jewelry.

"Nice." Taro smiled brightly at the sight and then grabbed onto her hand.

"You look really pretty." I agreed, grabbing the other and following his lead. Some tension in her relaxed at that.

It was rare to see my mother dress up. I wondered at that, but supposed making a friend was a special occasion. Besides I'd only ever seen Kaa-chan at work and at home. Never actually socializing with other adults. Maybe she liked to dress up in those situations.

Wait, never?

I jerked a little surprised. I was a very introverted person and was perfectly happy spending time with a set amount of people. So, I'd never really considered the fact we never got visitors.

Did my parents have friends? The only adults they spent time with were each other.

I kept my thoughts to myself as we made our way towards the center of the Merchant District. The houses here were small, close together, but much nicer and newer. They were owned by the mid to high mercantile class. It was a heavily civilian based section of the village though its close neighbor was the Genin and Orphan Housing.

The house the Harunos lived in was two stories with a large balcony, open flower boxes, and an actual yard in the back, small and fenced in peeking out from one side. When Sawaka opened the door she was in a slightly more casual kimono, but still looked like an elf queen from Tolkien all otherworldly beauty with a slightly distant smile.

"It is a pleasure to see you again Yamada-san," Sawaka said smoothly, face serene. When she looked at us, each holding onto one of Kaa-chan's hands her smile became gentler, more sincere instead of polite. She very smoothly, impressively so given how bulky I knew kimono to be, bent down to greet us at eye level. Her voice was much more welcoming and warm now.

"Welcome to our home Taeko-chan and Taro-chan." The words were spoken in very formal Japanese, a form I was much less familiar with.*

Taro seemed a little intimidated by the unfamiliar form as well and blushed burying his face in our mother's skirt. I could understand it, but was less sure in my response. I stared at her conflicted, before giving up and looking at Kaa-chan for help. She was petting Taro's hair, but noticed me looking. She whispered out of the side of her mouth.

"Thank you for having me Haruno-san," I copied obediently. It was slowly spoken, but I didn't stutter and Sawaka looked charmed.

"Please do not feel the need for the children to speak so formally. They are guests and my daughter's friends and children besides. They may speak casually within my home." Sawaka told Kaa-chan moving to lead us in. She quietly slipped into her house slippers and nodded to a fresh, new sets she had waiting. "Please go ahead and call me Sawaka. Haruno may grow confusing in a house full of them."

"Thank you Sawaka-san," Kaa-chan said as she deftly switched her shoes leaving them in the front entrance and bending to help Taro with the buckle he struggled with.

When Kaa-chan stood again she looked at Sawaka's smiling face in silence a few moments too long to not be awkward.

"Oh," Kaa-chan said and then looked slightly embarrassed. "Thank you for having us in your home." With a quick look from her we echoed the words.

Sawaka just smiled at us and said, "Welcome to my home."

Watching Kaa-chan I recognized the expression of embarrassment from moments of social awkwardness in my own past. I reached up to squeeze her hand. She looked grateful and slightly amused, which was better even if she was slightly pink as we followed Sawaka.

The Haruno home was nice. It had a very traditional Japanese decor mixed in with the most modern of conveniences for the Elemental Countries. Sawaka wasn't showing off, but I noticed the definite signs of wealth amidst the hanging calligraphy, careful arranged flowers, multiple photographs, and even an old rotate phone.

I had been discovering this world was an odd hodge-podge of technology. Most jumps began as projects for military use and slowly trickled down, heavily sanitized for civilian use. I'd also noticed some technology especially medical had been completely replaced with seals. Even more peculiar was the mixture of heavily modern, in a mostly 1940's sense, and then in the countryside it was like a different century. When our old neighbors had visited Baba and Jiji's they had spoken distrustful of electricity that many still refused. It was very much a world in transition.

When we were led into the living room I was also struck to find Sakura and Shion gathered around the brand new looking color television, which had been the newest accomplishment of the post-war technology declassified boom. Taro actually gasped at the sight looking at the moving puppets on the screen amazed. Jiji had spoken of them last time we visited, but neither of us, at least in this life, had seen one and Jiji's sketch had not really done them justice.

Sakura didn't appear to be enjoying herself though, fiddling nervously with her skirt as she sat perfectly straight on the couch looking a little nauseous. She looked up at her brother every few seconds and relaxed a little when he smiled and petted her hair. Shion meanwhile had Sakura half in his lap, arm wrapped around her in an affectionate hug that stood out like a sore thumb.

It wasn't that people didn't show physical affection, but I had noticed over the years it was much more constrained and limited. I received hugs and my family was loving, but it was to a very different degree than my last life. People in the American South were very touchy, even with strangers.

When Sawaka said a quiet, "Sakura-chan." though the scene was immediately thrown into chaos. Sakura looked up briefly terrified until she settled on me and Taro. Then she was giving us a blinding smile and throwing herself away from her big brother to us. She stopped herself at the last second from bodily throwing herself into us. She straightened looking up at her mother slightly nervous before saying in a very proper and careful tone, "Welcome to our home."

I nudged Taro and he quickly copied me in saying, "Thank you for having us."

She relaxed smiling and grabbing both our hands. Her face was glowing with joy and her energy was a sharp contrast from our first meeting. Now the two, almost three year old, was practically bouncing.

"Come on. We can play in the yard. I can show you my swing and tree and flowers and garden and toys. We can play ninja!" she said and then paused and looked at her mother again excitement faltering slightly. "Please?"

Sawaka smiled down at her. "Go have fun with your friends. I will come get you for lunch. Yamada-san and I can move to the kitchen to talk," she turned politely inquiring to Kaa-chan who nodded and then to Shion. "Shion go watch your sister and her friends. Don't let them get into trouble."

The boy nodded solemnly looking over our little gaggle, suddenly nervous wringing his hands as he looked between us. Sakura gave a happy squeal and pulled us out to the backyard I had only glimpsed from the front. It was a nice ordered place, especially when compared to our old house. High fences and with a swing set it seemed to make the most out of its limited space. There was a garden along the back wall, colorful and lively in the usually light fall of semi tropical Konoha.

Sakura looked at us her expression a mixture of hesitant and hopeful.

Taro looked back at her shyly and said, "I like your swing."

Sakura grinned widely and Taro returned it with a small one of their own.

I despaired. Dear God, my precious Taro was bonding with someone and Sakura was a tiny ball of cotton candy. The slightest rejection could crush her completely. Her big green eyes turned to me and Taro's followed and I knew my fate was sealed.

"I can be the enemy nin the first round if you want." I offered and Sakura squealed.

Fuck, looks like I'm adopting.

AN: This is shorter than the last chapter, but I really needed to get passed this to continue the story . It was oddly difficult to write. But onward!