Hey! Meant to upload this last night, but guess I fell asleep. (PS- This is not "The End", it's just the chapter title.)
Thanks so much for reading. I will try to get to review replies tonight, as your comments and sweet words mean the world to me! :)
~Ginnie
The End…
~(~)~
"We got married when we eighteen. He went into rehab the first time when we were nineteen. He went back to acting full time when we were twenty-one. He went into rehab the second time when we were twenty-two. I left him shortly after that, when he started skipping his NA meetings and disappearing all day for 'auditions'."
"Why'd you go back?"
"He OD'd on my twenty-third birthday. I felt like it was a sign, that it was my fault. I left him when he needed me most."
Bella rolls her eyes, showing Tia that she knows how unhealthy her thoughts were at the time, and that she doesn't think that way anymore.
Tia simply smiles. "How long did he stay clean that time?"
"Not long. When I found out he was using again, I begged him to give it all up and come home with me. I wanted a house and a home, and I wanted children with him someday. He said he wanted all that, too, but he meant in L.A., in addition to his career. I said no. I wanted him to choose me and our future over the drugs for once and for all. But he couldn't do it. He wouldn't."
"He was an idiot," Tia proclaims, startling Bella.
Bella laughs and smiles sadly. "He was an addict."
"He was still an idiot."
Bella shakes her head. "And I was a pushover. I never said no to him, well, hardly ever. I let myself get lost in him, and let him believe his love was more important to me than anything else. He felt betrayed when I finally got fed up and demanded he put me first. The thing is though…"
Bella sees her co-worker nodding in her seat, realizing what she's about to say and agreeing with it.
"He needed to choose himself. He needed to want to beat his addiction for himself, not do it for me. It took a divorce and him nearly killing himself for both of us to get that."
Tia smiles sadly. "But you get it now?"
"Yeah."
"And Edward?"
Bella inhales, and glances back at her computer. The screen went dark long ago, but she remembers the email he sent her. She remembers his letter, and his smile, and the sight of him happy and healthy where he sat in the coffee shop that first morning she spotted him in Forks.
"I think he not only got it, but I think he actually managed to succeed at it."
"At beating his addiction?"
"Yes. I'm not sure how long it's been, but from what I can tell he's been clean for a while."
"So…" Tia says, sitting back. "Now that he's maintaining sobriety and you two have regained contact, you're concerned about derailing his progress?"
Bella nods weakly. "I just don't know how to proceed from this point. It was, and is, important for him to get to say what he needs to say. Maybe it's important for me as well, but… I left him to avoid being a crutch for him, and to avoid watching him die. I wasn't prepared for this scenario."
"You didn't think he'd make it to this point."
Tears flood a pair of tortured brown eyes.
"I really didn't. I thought it would kill him, or he'd be a vegetable for the rest of his life. He very nearly could have been, too. He just happened to have his father, who's a doctor, sitting by his side when he started to show some symptoms of a stroke. They caught it in time to do something about it before it caused irreparable damage."
Tia sighs and leans forward to hold the hand Bella's not using to wipe her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can't imagine what this has been like for you. You've been through so much, so I can understand you being scared and uncertain. And I can't tell you what to do now, but I am extremely glad you shared it with me. You're stronger than any of us around here knew and I respect you all the more for it."
Bella lets out an unladylike snort.
Tia laughs. "Well, I do. And I know you'll do the best you can. You'll figure it out."
Bella nods, but deep down she questions herself.
What if her best isn't good enough?
~(~)~