Note: I'm not breaking off conversations just for the sake of it, but to cut them up in digestible portions for my readers. Each chapter carries a certain load and will lead up to the next chapter, until everything has been said and done that needs to be said and done in this story. I will conclude the talk with Kathy in this chapter and we will meet Dr Hendrix further down the line to fill in a few blanks.

Note 2: If you aren't reading it yet, please take a peek at my other story, Take Your Time. It was updated earlier today with its 52nd chapter. It's an AU Bensler story.

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61. We were Happy

Olivia's heart was racing. She couldn't breathe. She pressed a hand against her mouth when the enormity of what Elliot had written hit her. He had written this back in 2011! And it broke her heart into a million pieces to know that he'd been waiting for her for a whole day and she hadn't come. He had thought she had moved on and didn't want to see him anymore, while she had thought the same about him. They had both missed each other so much but had decided to let the other person live their own life. To accept the pain so that the one they loved could be happy without them. And it had been the complete opposite. He had wanted to meet her. And she would have come. Of course she would have come. There was no doubt in her mind about it. Their lives would have been so different.

Olivia couldn't speak and when she looked up, her eyes had filled with tears. She wiped them away so she could look at Elliot. His face was tense and he was trying to read her reaction to the letter. She pushed the piece of paper across the table without a word so he could read it too. She watched him as his eyes skimmed over the words and the realization hit him as well. When he looked up at her after reading the letter, his eyes conveyed so much sadness and regret, that Olivia's heart broke all over again. And then he turned his gaze to Kathy. His ex-wife, who had stolen this letter from them and had kept it a secret for four years after he had lost his memory. His breathing was picking up and Olivia braced herself. This could get very ugly very fast.

Elliot's voice was tense and low when he finally spoke.

"What on earth possessed you to take this letter, Kathy? I can't even begin to understand why that would seem like a good idea at any time?"

He had almost growled the last few words and Olivia knew that if it hadn't been for his injuries, he would already have been on his feet, hovering over the blonde. Kathy knew it too, and she had instinctively moved her chair away from the table a little. No doubt, Kathy was as familiar with Elliot's rage as Olivia was. He was staring at her, demanding an answer, although they all knew Kathy had no excuse for doing what she had done. Not a valid one. At the very least, she could have told Elliot she'd read it, and confronted him about it at the time. But to simply hide it and make him believe he'd sent it to Olivia, so he would think she wanted nothing to do with him anymore? That was just cruel.

"I panicked when I read it," Kathy said, her voice shaking. "And I was angry too. It just wasn't fair. I devoted my entire life to this family and you were just going to walk away ..."

Elliot's fist hit the table again, hard.

"Are you saying I didn't fight for our family?"

His voice was becoming louder and Olivia saw the bartender looking in their direction.

"No," Kathy admitted, shaking her head and staring at the table in front of her. "You did fight for us. I know. But you were ready to give up and I wasn't. Not yet."

Elliot shook his head and leaned back against the wall. Olivia could tell he was in pain and the hard chair was hardly comfortable for his broken body.

"Like I said, I ... I just thought if ... if Olivia didn't show up, you would finally let it go."

Kathy finally looked up at Elliot after those words, but Olivia spoke in stead.

"So you made the decision for me not to be there."

Olivia had sounded more bitter than she had intended, but Elliot's pain made her feel a lot less compassionate with Kathy right now. She used to think she was out of line, having feelings for the woman's husband. Not anymore. Elliot had taken inventory and had decided to follow his heart. And however wrong it may have been for a married man to fall in love with someone else, it had happened. He was going to give in to his feelings and Olivia knew, even if she would probably have tried to stop him at first, that she would have given in as well, eventually. She had tried not to be one of those pathetic women who just pined over a love they could never have, and she had tried to move on, but once he would have told her that he loved her, she would have admitted that she loved him too. It was like Elliot had said back at the hospital: it was always going to happen. It had just been a matter of when. And four years had been stolen from them that they could never get back, so yes, she was bitter about that. And about the pain Kathy had caused Elliot.

"I just wanted to keep my family together," was Kathy's reply. It seemed to be her only reply to the tough questions. "He was my husband," she added then, a little more firmly. "I would think I had a say in the matter."

"You should have talked to Elliot. Not go behind his back."

Kathy didn't break eye contact with Olivia when she answered,

"I know."

"Why would you want to stay with a man who doesn't love you anymore?" Olivia asked, because that was the part she would never understand.

She understood that Kathy had truly loved Elliot. That was the easy part. But why would she try to hang on to him when he so clearly didn't love her the same way anymore? Maybe he had never even loved her the same way. Who knew if they would have stayed a couple for long if Kathy hadn't gotten pregnant with Maureen?

Kathy was at a loss for words and stared at her former husband.

"You're a lying, conniving bitch," Elliot spat at her. "I knew you were putting on an act around me the whole time when I didn't remember anything. I doubt that you ever really cared about me at all anymore. No wonder I didn't recognize you."

If Olivia had sounded bitter, it paled in comparison to Elliot. He was keeping his voice down but the resentment was almost tangible between the two former spouses. Kathy was taking deep breaths and there was a fire in her eyes when she spoke again.

"I gave up everything when I got pregnant with Maureen. I was madly in love with you, Elliot. You were the first and only man I had ever been with, the only man I wanted to be with. And I wanted it to work. We have five children. That has to mean something, right? We were happy!"

...

Elliot shook his head. He didn't have clear memories about his life with Kathy when they were younger, and the later years were still foggy. His family still felt like a side note to his life with Olivia, which was the part he did remember.

"Were we?" he asked Kathy, and despite his anger, he hadn't meant it sarcastically this time.

Kathy did take it that way though, and threw her hands in the air.

"Forget it," she said. "I was a fool for believing things might be different after you lost your memory. That we could actually start over and fall in love again. Because I did love you Elliot, despite everything. And when you left me after all, I just ... I wasn't just going to hand my husband over to someone else on a silver platter, so I kept the letter. So there!" she huffed. "I've answered your questions and I've given you the letter. I admit that I shouldn't have taken it and I'm sorry I lied to you. What more do you want from me?"

"Was Elliot really going to see me the night of his birthday party?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and tried to focus on her. He was feeling a little lightheaded and his hands were shaking. He needed an outlet for the tension and frustration that had built up over the course of their conversation with Kathy, but he could hardly move. He couldn't even pace. He was pathetic and his breathing was too shallow. What more did he want from her? How about giving him back those four fucking years that he could have spent building a life with Olivia?

"You should ask the twins that. He bumped into them on his way out."

Elliot frowned. The twins? Liz was in his corner now. He would need to ask her about it soon.

"Is Richard coming home for the holidays?" he asked Kathy flatly.

Kathy nodded.

"Yes. Everyone's coming."

Elliot's eyes flicked back to Olivia. All his children would be at the house, and they would probably expect him to make an appearance.

"Well, Elliot still has a lot of healing to do," Olivia chimed in, her eyes probing his for a reaction, and he was grateful.

"Besides, I don't really feel like playing the family man right now," he added harshly, looking back at Kathy. "You got all the kids to go along with your little scheme! How?"

Kathy blew out a breath slowly.

"I guess they all really wanted us to make it work too, Elliot. It's only natural for kids to want their parents to be together."

Despite her words, Kathy seemed to have finally resigned to the fact that her marriage was truly over for good. The fire had left her eyes. She shrugged and stood up, indicating that she wanted to leave.

"I know you are going to hold it against me what I did but ..."

She shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment.

"But what?" Elliot asked.

"Never mind," she said quietly. "I just wish things had gone differently. For all of us."

She made eye contact with Olivia and an understanding seemed to pass between the two women that he couldn't place. Not at all. What could these two women possible agree on at this time? Olivia had every right to be furious with Kathy. For taking the letter as well as not giving it back later on. She didn't want to hand her husband over to Olivia on a silver platter? What kind of nonsense was that?

But Olivia said nothing. Kathy turned on her heels and walked away from them without looking back. It wasn't because she was angry or felt her actions had been justified. She seemed small and defeated after admitting everything she'd done. Somehow, Elliot had expected Olivia to get in her face for both of them, but she hadn't. He wondered why not. Olivia checked her watch and suggested another cup of coffee so they could talk some more about what they had just learned, and he agreed. His back was killing him and he felt another headache coming up, but he needed to relax before he'd be able to get up again. Right now, he just needed to be with Olivia.

...

To be continued. Was this conversation realistic under the circumstances? Any thoughts on that look the women shared at the end? Please review!