We compromised on the name. Heero, understandably, disliked the name Angel. He thought it sounded girly. I, on the other hand, had decided it fit him perfectly, and simply couldn't get it out of my head. Heero supplied the name Wing, which he liked and I didn't Eventually, I settled on Fallen Angel Wing, so that we could both have what we wanted and I wouldn't have to watch him pout. I registered it, so that Collar would know what to call him in the competition.
I was troubled by what Heero had told me of Collar, and yet I was glad he had done it. I didn't want to take him back into that situation, but, knowing that I had to, I was glad to be well prepared. Knowing this, on the day before we would depart for the Collar banquet, only five days after Heero had come into my life, I took him out back to face his greatest fear.
We had eaten a picnic lunch before hand and Heero was still curled up on the grass, naked except for his collar, when I came out of the house with my whip. I had brought it as a prop, for I had certainly never dreamed of using such a destructive weapon on a slave despite the problems he might cause. In my youth I had somewhat specialized in the whip along with swords, so I was well aware of the damage it could cause, unlike many amateurs using it for some quick fun. I knew that, wielded correctly, a whip could skin a man's back in seconds, or bite down to the bone in a heartbeat. I also knew how to control it, and I hoped that would be able to do so well enough to keep Heero safe.
There was an old fence post in the yard that I chose as my target. Its wood was starting to chip away, but it didn't really matter. I probably wouldn't need to use it again once I reacquainted myself with the weapon.
Heero gasped at the first sight of the whip and flinched, but didn't run. He was brave, as I was coming to learn, but he was still young and traumatized by what men had done to him in the past.
"Master?" he questioned piteously and I had the sudden urge to toss my whip back in the house. Instead, I merely smiled at him.
"You're not in trouble," I reassured and he relaxed somewhat, but not close to what he had been. I couldn't say I was surprised. The boy trusted me, but he wasn't stupid.
My first strike of the whip landed a little to the left of what I had planned, but only by an inch. Considering that my whip was almost eight feet long, an inch doesn't seem like much, but I was aware that an inch could make all the difference when it came to the human body.
It took me almost an hour of practice to feel that I was back up to my former skill and bring out my instincts for the whip. My skills had faded with time, but they returned to me easily enough. I made sure to keep my eyes off of Heero while I practiced, for I knew that he was flinching every time I struck the target. It made the next part of the practice even harder.
"Heero, I need you to get up now," I said, not looking at the boy. I could hear him hesitantly rise behind me and bit my lip. I had to force myself through this, for Heero's safety. "Go stand by the pole."
"Master?" he questioned fearfully. I hardened my tone, knowing that much more would break my resolve.
"Get up there, Heero. This isn't a choice. Go stand at the pole," I repeated again, my tone threatening. I doubted I had ever spoken so harshly to him, and I could see he was shaken as he approached the pole unsteadily, biting his lips.
"Master, please, I'm sorry," he muttered as a took my stance, "please, have mercy. I'm sorry," he continued, but didn't move. I was confused, he trusted me but he pleaded, he pleaded but he stayed. I had never punished him severely before, so I couldn't see him fearing me. On the other hand, I didn't really understand his pleas if he trusted me, either.
"Heero, do you trust me?" I asked as tears started to rain down his face. He nodded, closing his eyes in a quiet sob that shook his body. "Then I need you to take a deep breath and stop crying. There you go. Now again," I guided, not daring to reach for him because I knew I would not have the heart to force him through this. Slowly, he regained his composure by himself. "Now, I need you to stay very, very still, do you understand? If you move, you will be in a lot of trouble. Now, just hold still," I said, and took aim.
The whip struck just above his right should. Heero tensed, but didn't jump, which was good, because he probably would have gotten hit otherwise.
"Are you alright?" I asked, certain I had not hit him, but double checking anyway. He nodded, confusion entering his eyes, pushing aside some of the terror and tears. When I raised the whip again, however, the terror returned full force.
This time, I snapped the whip just over his left shoulder. I guessed that he could feel the wind from my blow, because he tensed, but managed to stay still. I had to force myself to trust Heero to remain still, for if he moved it could be very bad for him. The whip does not allow for pulling blows at the last second should Heero have stepped in harm's way.
I spent a few moments placing blows at various degrees of Heero's body, from the top of his head to as close as I could get to the ground, casting up a small spew of dirt and grass as the whip glanced by. Never once did I draw blood, but, then again, I wasn't expecting to. Had I done so, I probably would not have been able to trust myself with the weapon later on, so I was extra careful with my aim.
"I'm going to try something else now, Heero. I want you to hold out your arms and spread your legs," I told him calmly. A light sweat had broken out on the boy's body and he was shivering in fright. I knew that I was running low on time, that there was only so much Heero could take before he collapsed.
"Please, master, stop," he begged again, but did as I commanded. I answered by raising my whip again and letting it fly.
This time, instead of snapping the whip, I convinced it to circle around Heero's wrist, catching his arm. Again, there was no blood, but I knew there would be a slight red mark. It was a small price to pay, though, compared to the rest of the mission. I regretted not asking Heero to wear some clothes but, as it might have tipped him off, I decided it was probably better this way. It would be hard to miss blood or bruise on his pale white skin were the whip to accidentally hit him. He was safer without them.
With a flick of my wrist, I released Heero's hand and proceeded to attach the whip to the three remaining limbs at various points. I tried to get as close to his shoulder and as near to his ankle as I could. Once I was certain that I would be able to grasp Heero no matter what movement he was doing I decided to move to the final phase.
"Heero," I said, watching his quaking form. The tears had almost stopped, but he had turned a most ghastly shade of white and the shivers would not cease. "You're done very well so far, But I need you to do just one more thing for me. I want you to turn around..."
"No!" he gasped, fresh tears streaming down his face. "Master, please, no!" he begged. I could only glare at him in what I hoped was a threatening manner as I felt him tear my insides out. Slowly, his eyes lowered and he turned around, sobbing, shaking, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I raised the whip, knowing that I would only have one chance at this.
I snapped the whip and managed to just graze it along the cheeks of Heero's ass. Heero cried out, leaning forward to escape the blow, while his rigid discipline held him in place. I could see a convincingly red welt raise itself where the whip had struck his butt and hoped that it seemed more painful than it was. I had hoped that I could use the whip to inflict punishments that looked worse than they actually were, but from the way Heero's tightly tensed shoulders quaked with sobs it seemed as though it felt worse than it looked.
Quickly, I wrapped up the whip and laid it on the ground, then gently took Heero into my arms. He came willingly, despite what I had just done to him.
"Shh," I soothed, "It's all over. You did very well. I'm proud of you," I told him, rocking my softly where we stood as he sobbed harshly into my chest. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked. Heero shook his head and cried harder.
I soon realized that this was not going to be a short bout of crying, so I quietly led Heero into the house and sat him down on the couch where I soothed him until he fell asleep, resting across my thighs.
When he woke up, hours later, I was still sitting there beside him, though my legs had gone to sleep. For a while he simply lay there, allowing me to stroke his hair and, I hope, enjoying the sensation of my fingers across his scalp.
"I know you don't understand a lot about me," I told him, my voice rumbling through the quiet room, "and I can't tell you much. I just want you to understand that I will not hurt you for no reason, and I will try to spare you as much pain as possible. I wish I could tell you, but you..."
"...just have to trust you. Yeah, I know," he sighed. "It's alright. I don't understand many of my masters. At least with you I know why I don't understand you."
"I'm glad you're okay with this. I promise, one day you will understand everything. It just might not be soon."
"I'm glad," he replied, "I'd rather never understand than have to leave you."
"It won't come to that," I answered, "I won't leave you."
"There are plenty of slaves better than me..." he defended.
"There are, and I might get some, but that doesn't mean I have to leave you. I want you here with me, not them. So there, that's final," I told him, in a mock masterly voice. He smiled.
"Thank you, master."