I had anticipated the flight to Collar with the same amount of dread a man feels when walking to the noose. I knew that my irrational fear of crowds had developed into something of a phobia over the years, but I was too embarrassed to tell my new master about it. Even when he asked me about it, I was so ashamed that I hadn't told him sooner that I almost couldn't bring myself to speak to him about it.

Master handled it with his usual grace, meaning he huffed and puffed but eventually just fixed it and moved on. A single call to his doctor found master with a pocket full of light tranquilizers and me watching the pretty birdies. Despite, or possibly because, I had never been given such light drugs before, I had never been so out of it. I wondered briefly if the reason was that my first master had made my body resistant to many kinds of heavy drugs, but hadn't attempted to shield me from lighter drugs. Because of this, I was fairly unaffected by all but the very strongest of drugs, yet I was easily swayed by light and over-the-counter medicines.

I don't remember much of the trip. I know I fell asleep in the car, only to wake up to my master and my bladder. I remember going to the restroom, then nearly panicking when I realized I had left my master. I remember stopping in the sweet shop, but not much of the walk to the shuttle. I remember take-off excruciatingly clearly, but I fell asleep thankfully soon after.

"Heero," I heard master whisper in my ear, "wake up now."

I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to clear my blurry vision. It was more difficult than I had anticipated, and I brought my hand up to rub at them, but I still couldn't seem to get them clear.

"Stop that now," master ordered, taking my hand away from my face. "Come on, we've only got a little way to go, then you can go back to sleep," master told me, and pulled me to my feet. My seatbelt had been undone, but I couldn't remember when. I clutched my blanket in my hand as master led me down the aisle.

I had a blurry period then where I clutched my blanket and master's hand because I couldn't seem to focus on anything around me and I was worried that I'd be left behind. I think, had we not gotten to the room so quickly, I would have begun to cry. Perhaps I did, but if so, I'm glad I don't remember. Crying in front of master is one thing, but allowing strangers to see me so weak is quite another. I don't think I could have withstood the humiliation.

It was a blissfully short amount of time before I heard the sound of a door shutting and looked around to find myself in a small room. Master finished closing the door and was quick to my side, pushing me to the bed and pulling off my shoes. I struggled a bit, more from confusion than anything, but it wasn't enough to dissuade master. Once my shoes were off he quickly pushed my to lie back on the bed and pulled the covers around me.

"Go back to sleep," he told me. "I'll wake you for dinner."

I didn't want to obey him, but my mind and my body had two very different ideas of what I should do. Unfortunately, my body won out, and I was asleep again before master had turned around.

"Wake up. Angel, come on, dinner's here," master called. I opened my eyes and sat up. Master was sitting next to me on the bed, a covered tray next to him on the dresser. "Go wash you face," he commanded, "it'll wake you enough that you don't forget to swallow and choke."

I stood, wobbled a bit, then walked forward the four steps it took to get to the closet-sized compartment that was the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face, dried it with a towel, then stumbled out of the bathroom and more or less fell back onto the bed. Master had, by that time, uncovered the tray and we began to eat, but I was so out of it that I never even noticed what I was eating. I think I might have fallen asleep on the tray.

The next time I awoke, master was typing on a laptop at the desk on the other side of the room. I felt fully awake for the first time during the trip and sat up, making some noise to let master know I was awake.

"Ah, Heero," he said, turning in his chair, "I'm glad you're awake. You missed breakfast, but I thought I had better let you get all the drug out of your system. It's almost lunch, if you're hungry we can go get something to ea," he told me. I shook my head. I was feeling somewhat queasy.

"No? Feeling a little nauseous? Alright, then, but you'll have to eat once we get to Collar," he said, then went back to his typing. I spent a few minutes listening to the steady rhythm of the keys before the suddenly faltered. I glanced over to se that master had stilled, his hands poised above the keys.

"I meant to tell you," he told me, his voice so serious that it frightened me. "I'd been thinking while you were asleep and there's something I think we need to discuss."

His words were like ice in my veins. What had I done wrong? Was I to be sold? The last time master had been so serious was when he had played with his whip, and even his words were not so weighted. It could be nothing short of a sale. No, please, I don't want to go...

"It's about your behavior earlier," he said. I must have done something wrong while I was drugged and couldn't remember. It certainly must have made master terribly angry, but I couldn't remember it. "I'm aware that you were under the influence of drugs, which is why I'm saying this," he told me, still not turning around. Perhaps he would simply punish me? If I begged? Said I was sorry? No, he wouldn't forgive me, and he wouldn't want to wait until we got to Collar to punish me. A slave too stupid to keep his head with mild drugs, too broken to be around people. Worthless. He was right to get rid of me.

"Heero?" master called, and I looked up to find him right in front of me, his beautiful blue eyes staring into my tarnished gray ones. I would never be worthy of him. I would never be worthy of anyone.

"Please, forgive me, master, I..."

"Shh," he soothed, taking my face in his hands as two tears spilled from my eyes, "You're not in trouble," he said, kissing my forehead and pulling me against his chest.

"Then... what... why...?" I wondered, too emotional to get the words out.

"I wanted to tell you that you can't have any more drugs when we get of the shuttle," he said, his tone serious, as though I would argue, "I know you're afraid of these crowds, but I need you all here and lucid to guide me to Collar."

"But..." I hesitated, still afraid of angering master, "there won't be a crowd when we get off."

"What do you mean?" master asked, looking confused, "The rest of the passengers aren't just going to stay on here."

"No, but we are," I told him, my anxiousness fading as I came to understand our misunderstanding. "Didn't anyone tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"This shuttle goes from earth to L1, but it makes a fuel stop at a private satellite on the return trip. We are supposed to stay on the ship at L1 and get off at the satellite. If you show the stewardess my papers or your seal they'll give you persmission to stay," I told him. His body relaxed with relief.

"What would I ever do without you?" master asked and I couldn't help but smile and blush.

"I'm nothing special."

"You are special, and silly too," master teased, "Now, go get a shower and let me get some work done."