A/N: :( :) :| ;( etc etc Not the total end to the hair saga, because trust me - that continues long after the last strand of hair falls out. But next up after this - Felicity's return to the Foundry!

There was truly a war raging within Oliver as he stared at his hand that night. A part of him wanted to pretend it never happened, that nothing had changed, and she was healthy as a healthy horse. Another part criticized him and called himself a hypocrite; he had been upset when Felicity had held stuff from him, why did he think he had any right to do the same to her? And this concerned her directly. But as much as he wanted to wake her right then and there and tell her that the thing she had dreaded most was actually happening, he didn't. And it didn't have anything to do with hiding things from her, or even his desire for things to stay the same. He just couldn't wake her up.

He tried everything he could to stir the woman in his arms, but the closest he ever got was a whine and a moan telling him to stop. He wasn't going to scream in her ear, so he just settled for picking her up and taking her to her bedroom, lying her down to get some rest in a place that had to be more comfortable than his shoulder.

He decided that if she woke up the next morning none the wiser, he would tell her. He wouldn't be able to not. But if she woke up and discovered it herself, wouldn't that be even worse? He knew that this was the one thing that she had been dreading in relation to chemotherapy, and he was worried that if she found out on her own, he wouldn't be able to help her, and that thought scared him even more.

Felicity rolled over the next morning, grumbling when she noticed the scratchy quilt on top of her. It wasn't until she opened her eyes that she realized it was because she never made it under the blankets. Oliver must have brought her in there when she passed out on the couch. She wished desperately that she could remember some of that, being in his strong arms and having him carry her to her bed. It wasn't the most sensual of experiences as she was exhausted from undergoing chemotherapy but still - she could romanticize it in her head if she wanted to, right?

She slammed her alarm clock off and began to get ready, noting the time. She had a few different alarms set and the one that had finally roused her was the last-minute one. She had to get a move on. Having showered the night before for dinner, she wasn't going to bother this morning, especially since she was just going to the hospital to get blood drawn. She pulled on a black stretchy t-shirt and some jeans and hastily ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it into a ponytail. It wasn't until she paused to take in her appearance in the full-length mirror that she noticed.

The blonde hair stood out starkly against her black shirt. She was no stranger to losing hair; thick hair was always prone to be tugged out and with her chronic ponytails, well, breakage happened. But this was different and she knew it.

She ran her hand through her ponytail and forced herself not to gasp as it came away covered in hair. It didn't look as if it were coming out in clumps, but it was almost as if it was thinning itself. The amount of hair in her hand was what she usually cleaned out of her hairbrush in a week.

In a move almost distinctly Oliver, she picked up a hardcover book she had lying by her bed and threw it at the mirror. The satisfaction of having the mirror crack and parts of it shatter to the floor was short lived. She was never that girl that acted like this and she refused to let this cancer make her into something she wasn't.

She pushed down the thoughts and feelings that were trying to make their way to the forefront of her mind. She felt like she was being a cheater to the female sex anytime she got too invested in her looks. She had always - always - prided herself on putting her mind first, above any physical attributes she may or may not have had. It was why she didn't wear contacts every day and it was why before Oliver, she wore slacks to work more often than not.

Before Oliver.

That's what she was trying so hard not to think about. To not think about how Oliver had already witnessed her puking her guts up the week before. How he had to see them put ports and tubes and wires into her body, making her more freakshow than human. How he was going to watch her hair fall out and have her become less woman, less Felicity. How no one, let alone Oliver Queen, Starling City's most eligible vigilante and bachelor, would ever want a woman that looked like her. A half shell of what a beautiful twenty-something female was supposed to look like.

She couldn't let herself think about that. So she just wouldn't. Her stellar denial abilities were going to get a real workout with this disease.

She took deep breaths as she sat on her bed and waited for the inevitable dramatic entrance by Oliver Queen. When it didn't come, she knew he was trying to give her space. Trying to let her work through whatever this was by herself.

She didn't want to.

She didn't want to think about it, she didn't want to look at herself or that stupid fucking mirror, she didn't want to ever have to say the words 'I'm losing my hair' aloud to anyone. Ever. But she knew she was going to have to deal with it at some point. She had to suck it up and deal with it because that was what she had to do.

"Being an adult is so stupid!" She growled out as she ripped off the black shirt and replaced it with a flowing yellow peasant top style blouse. It wasn't the prettiest thing she owned but it would mask any hair that decided to just quit being attached to her head that day, and that would afford her with the time she was going to need to decide what the hell she was going to do.

Plain black flats and her purse were the last things she grabbed as she stormed out of her room.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told Oliver before he could even verbalize a question.

"O...kay?" He noted that her hair still looked as full as ever but there was only one thing that could get her so worked up and this had to be it. He would respect her wishes, however unhealthy they were, for the moment at least. Until he himself thought of the right words to say.

He understood that that might be a long time coming.

"Eat." He held out a protein bar and a smoothie for her to take for their ride in the car. She took them but grumbled about not being hungry. "I don't care if you're not hungry, just eat it."

"Thanks, mom," she bit out as she sidestepped him and made her way to the door.

"You're welcome." He prayed to some unseen force for the strength to make it through that day.

The appointment went fine and they were both home by noon with a promise from the hospital that they'd call later that afternoon with her final counts, but preliminary looks at her blood work were promising, and she'd probably be able to go out and be social as much as she wanted in the coming week.

The last thing Felicity wanted to do was see people.

Oliver understood that on some level, but on another, he felt as if all the hard work and progress they had made at dinner the night before was wasted on something she knew was going to happen. He cursed the fact that he had no idea what to say to make it better, had no way to even understand what she was feeling. Which was why he didn't feel that bad about sending a quick text, and felt even better about leaving that afternoon.

"I'm stepping out for a bit, do you need anything?"

She shook her head as she swept up the mirror fragments that littered her bedroom floor.

"I'll be back later. Try and get some rest so you feel up to coming to the Foundry tonight." And he was gone before she could even tell him 'fat chance.'

Once she heard the front door close, she allowed the tears to come. Tears for her hair, for what this meant for her life, tears that Oliver had just left her when he had to have known something was wrong. She cried for everything.

Thirty minutes had passed and she was still sitting on her bedroom floor, tears dripping down her face, when she heard the doorbell.

She clumsily made her way to the door, figuring it was just a deliveryman or something, but was surprised to see Thea Queen standing on her doormat.

"Thea?"

"Hey! What's wrong? Oliver told me you needed me…?"

Of course he did, because even when Oliver left, he didn't really leave. He didn't stop caring.

She ushered her in, trying to figure out how to tell her. She decided that actions spoke louder than words, so she silently lifted a hand to her ponytail and ran her fingers through it. She held out her fingers full of hair and just the sight of it made her cry harder.

"Oh, shit." That got a reluctant laugh out of Felicity. She figured everyone would be trying to make her feel like it wasn't that big of a deal that the honest reaction of Thea threw her off a little. "This sucks."

She sniffled and nodded. "It really does."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's gonna be a bitch to clean up all the time since your hair is so long. I clog the shower with my own hair like, every day. So maybe we should cut it shorter? That way it's not so long when it's falling out? Or ooh - we can get wigs!"

"'We?' Don't tell me you're going to like, shave your head too in an effort of female solidarity or something, Thea."

"Uhhh no. Sorry. This head is too small to be hairless. But I was thinking about cutting it short recently so this is the perfect excuse!"

Suddenly Thea was on the phone, talking to her hair salon, and Felicity was sitting on the couch, watching the tiny whirlwind Queen stroll around her apartment like she owned it. Those Queens really did know how to make themselves at home.

In just the few minutes she had been there, Thea had already put a lot of things in perspective for Felicity. Thea had taken the whole hair thing in stride, just accepting it instantly and working to make it better or manageable without even questioning it. Felicity had gotten so stuck on the 'why?' aspect of it all that she never got to the 'how do we fix it?' stage. She just needed that hard shove to get her to move on, she supposed.

Suddenly, the younger Queen was standing in front of her.

"Come on, let's go."

"Go? Where? Now?"

"Yeah, we're gonna do this hair business. What, did you want to wait it out?" She tapped her foot impatiently. "Come on, I got us appointments at my salon. Plus they have this entire back room of wigs and I really want to see what you'd look like with red hair."

Thea's salon was nice. Like, really nice. Nicer than the nicest hotel Felicity had ever stayed at. Probably bigger, too.

"Felicity, this is Harriet, and that's Tyrone." She introduced her to two of the most fashionable people she had ever met. "They are going to be our consultants today!"

Well, Felicity's normal consultant was L'Oreal, so she supposed this was an upgrade.

"So what first?" Thea turned to Felicity. "Wanna check out some wigs or do you wanna cut this mane off?"

"Can we do wigs first?" She asked timidly. "I think if I know that there's something waiting for me then maybe I won't completely break down when we cut my hair…"

"You are gonna look fabulous either way," Tyrone told her, pulling her forward, "But wigs first it is."

It was a wig boutique, the room they led them to in the back. Tyrone gently scooped Felicity's hair and pinned it to the top of her head and slid on a wig cap, before spreading his arms. "Try on whatever you'd like!"

There was only some soft smooth jazz playing out of the speakers in the room, but for the next hour, Felicity was convinced that she was in some sort of movie montage with Thea. She was actually having a really great time, which was not what she expected initially. She tried on plenty of ridiculous wigs she knew she'd never wear in public, including one that reminded her of her college days, which Thea mercilessly made fun of and demanded pictures, but she also found one that she thought would suffice for everyday wear if she needed it. It was long, blonde, and silky, and the quality was amazing. She was actually tempted to wear it out of the salon that day; if she wore that, it would look like she always had a professional blowout done.

Thea had found one she liked as well that was even longer than her current waves, with ombre tips, and she was currently ranting about how she couldn't wait to wear it to the club to surprise Roy one day. Her chattering continued as they were led to salon chairs side by side and the reality of the situation came crashing into Felicity.

"Oh, god." She stared at her reflection, her hair falling around her in loose waves, but even she could see the stray strands that were now sliding down the front of the black cape they wrapped around her, and she knew she had to do something. She just hadn't imagined it feeling like this. Her eyes met Tyrone's in the mirror, soft, patient, and kind. She knew that Thea had to have told him the situation. "Have you ever had to…?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Some of my other clients have dealt with this too. I can only tell you that once you accept that it is out of your control, it is as easy or hard as you want it to be. For right now though, you do have some control. I can thin it out and get rid of the loose hairs now. We cut it off a bit and it'll be much easier to handle. You ever had short hair?"

She shook her head.

"Okay then, we won't go too short. If it keeps taking its time like this, you come back as often as you want to see me and I'll trim it up, no charge." He waited for her to nod. "So what do you say for right now, we do something like shoulder length. How does that sound?"

She heard from the chair next to her Thea's complete lack of preparation. "Just cut it all off. I don't know, like a bob or something? I don't have a picture or anything."

The girl's exuberance drew a watery laugh out of her and she nodded to Tyrone. "Shoulder length sounds good."

"It feels like I'm forty pounds lighter," Thea commented, twisting her head around in the sunshine. Her sleek, short hair no longer fanned out around her, but she did like it.

"I know what you mean," Felicity agreed, refusing to give in to the desire to run her fingers through her hair. It hung around her shoulders now with a soft curl at the end and while she had never had hair styled like this before, she had to admit that she kind of liked it. If only she could keep it.

Tyrone was pretty informative with this hair business, and he told her that there were no products out there to stop or slow hair loss due to chemotherapy. But the one thing she could do was not tug on it or run her fingers through it too often, and to wait until she was home alone to brush it out and take care of the loose hair then. He talked to her the entire time as he cut her hair, even when tears were streaming down her face at the sight of so much hair on the floor. He had done a spectacular job though, and the way her hair was styled, it was just lighter and bouncier; only upon an in depth analysis would anyone realize that her hair was thinning in ways that were beyond nature.

"So what do you say? Early dinner at Sur la Sandwich?" Thea nodded to a restaurant a block away. "Come on - we look good, we feel good...we do feel good, right? I'm not like, keeping you out past your bedtime or something?"

"It's 5pm, Thea."

"Hey, I'm new to this!"

She agreed pretty easily to dinner, surprised at the energy she still had. Her eyes were open and in no danger of closing and that fact alone deserved some celebrating.

That wasn't necessarily the case when they got home at around 7:30. She felt the pull of lethargy and didn't want to admit to Oliver that she might not make it to the Foundry that night.

"Hey, I thought you'd be gone by now," Felicity spoke as she took in Oliver's form sitting at the table with his QC laptop in front of him.

He turned to face her, smiling easily. "Wanted to see you before I headed out." He studied her form for a moment before turning back to his computer. Felicity's jaw dropped.

"What, that's it? I don't even get a comment on the hair?"

"You look just as beautiful as you did this morning."

She glared at his back for being so sweet. Of course he'd say something perfect like that.

"How was dinner at Sur la Sandwich?"

"How did you know...did you have us followed?"

"I didn't need to. Apparently you and my sister's hair escapades warranted being followed by someone else." He clicked a few windows in his browser and brought up Starling City's most prominent gossip blog, where her and Thea's pictures were prominently on display.

She elbowed him as she leaned down to read the blurb underneath the pictures. "I knew you didn't seem that surprised at my hair," she muttered, trying to ignore how close she was to his face as she stretched over his shoulder.

The piece wasn't bad or incriminating or anything. Thea's major hair change was news enough, and she was just referenced as a friend of Thea's who also worked at QC. She was actually surprised that no one had put together that she was Oliver's EA, but she knew that it was only a matter of time. The pictures were of them entering and leaving the salon, with Thea's new style being the main focus. She even smiled at a few snapshots of them walking to the restaurant - Thea had a way of being so childlike and joyful. She was spinning in a few shots and Felicity's face was splashed with mirth, laughing at her antics.

"Thea will be so happy that they called it a bob. She had no idea what hairstyle she was signing up for."

She leaned back and her and Oliver shared a look.

"Did I overstep my bounds today?"

"I think...you got your bounds just right today. They were good bounds that needed to be stepped on a little."

"Am I going to see you at the Foundry tonight?"

She winced. "I know you told me to get some rest and I really should have. I think it was just a lot going on today and…"

"Hey, it's okay. There's always tomorrow. And the day after that. And after that, too."

"What about Tuesday?"

"Maybe even then, too." He nudged her towards her room. "Go get some rest. I'll make sure either Roy or I check on you while on patrol tonight."

"Okay," she said behind a yawn. "Tomorrow. I'll be there."

She made her way to her bedroom, knowing that today was hard, and there would be other, harder days to come, but she knew that she could get through it if she had all of these wonderful people in her life still there. And as she sat in front of her new beautiful, ornate, full-length mirror that had just magically shown up in the corner of her room that day, she twisted her head back and forth, taking in her new hairstyle from every angle. It wasn't perfect, but it was as close as she thought she would get that day.