Author's Undeserving Praise and Love Appreciation Post: So after I posted yesterday, I went offline to avoid staring at this fanfic to see if we reached 300 or not. Not only did we do that but we went from 288 to 305. You guys are just way too freaking good to me. Seriously. Thank you all so much, there is nothing I can say that can honestly tell you how grateful I am for how amazing you guys have been and continue to be. Instead, I'll just keep trying to do my best and keep you all happy with this story.
So please enjoy "Home", and please read the note at the end. It's important... kind-of?
"This is insanity, this is insanity, this is insanity." She repeated over and over again as the ship landed on Maridun. He didn't have to tell her where to go, she already knew. This was the one place they both could go and be safe. It made sense. It was only confirmed even more so by the fact that his ship was also docked near the hut.
"Then why did you come here?" Anakin asked.
Ash exhaled, trying to regulate her breathing. "I have no clue." She didn't, she couldn't understand why she was here. "I really don't know." She was scared, whether or not she wanted to or could admit it then. Her heart thudded in her chest as if trying to break free. This was madness, she knew that the moment she found herself getting on the ship and taking off. What made everything worse? It was beginning to rain. She had a bad feeling overall.
Gripping the lightsaber that was hooked to her side tightly; it was a safety net, a reassurance if things went south. Stars, she hoped it wouldn't. She stared out the windshield of the cockpit as rain drizzled onto the glass; blurring the darkening field in front of her. This was a mistake; she knew that. However, there was no going back now.
After eternity passed, or so it felt, Ash finally disembarked the transport unit and began crossing the field. The cool rain droplets falling onto her head ever so gently as thunder rumbled in the distance. There was a light on in the hut; he was here. She could feel it.
Ash opened the door and stood in the doorway of the little hut. Her eyes scanned the area and coming up empty. It was exactly how they left it; say for the one detail that was out of order. On the picnic table sat the book of planets. His book of planets. Slowly, she walked around the table to get a closer look at the book. Her fingers hovering over the cover; Ash was afraid to touch it as though it would poison her. "Are you actually here?" The deep voice asked; Ash immediately looked up to see the man in black walk in the hut and stand directly across from her. The only separation between them being the picnic table.
Ash noticed the black bandage was gone now, however, the scar was still unmistakably there. "Are you?" She countered.
Ren smirked wickedly. "Why not come over here and find out?"
"I think I'm fine where I am, thanks." Oh, it was going to be one of their bad times, wasn't it?
Kylo Ren waved his hand, the kitchen table sliding violently across the floor and to the other side of the room. Ash took a step back, her hand hovering over her lightsaber, which didn't go unnoticed by the other Force User as his brow raised in amusement. There were no barriers now between them. "You're not going to need that." He commented.
"You sure about that?" Her hand still hovered.
The stupid, sly smirk was still on his lips and Ash wanted nothing more than to smack it off his stupid-pretty face. "How are you?"
"You didn't bring me here for small-talk, Ren."
"You're right, I didn't." He confirmed, taking a step forward. Ash matched that step as she moved back. "I can explain everything on our trip to the Finalizer."
Ash glared. "I'm not going to the Finalizer. I'm with the Resistance now."
"You don't belong with them." Kylo Ren explained. "You don't belong with the First Order; you don't belong anywhere… except with me."
She wouldn't be so easily swayed. "Which just so happens to mean I go to the Finalizer."
He shrugged. "Think of it as a stop along the way." Ash couldn't go with him to the Finalizer, she knew that. Maybe he was right that she didn't belong on either side of this war. However, leaving behind the Resistance seemed wrong; especially now that Rey was part of it. How could she leave behind her friends? Finn was still in a coma, Rey was gone and Poe- She didn't even get to finish her thought before the sudden shift in the room came. "Oh, yes." Kylo spat. "The pilot."
Of course he had been listening in on her internal debate. "Don't bring him into this."
"I wonder what he'll think of you when he realizes you're not the good person you made him believe you were." Kylo's tone was cruel. "When he realizes there's more darkness in your heart than even you realize."
"The darkness is your fault, Ren. Not mine, it's not me. You brought it to me." Ash tried to comeback at him.
"When are you going to stop blaming me and just accept you belong in the darkness." Kylo Ren provoked her. "You're more like me than you care to admit."
The lightsaber unclipped from her belt, with a flick of her wrist, the amber blade shot out. "I am nothing like you." Ash snarled. "You killed your own father." He didn't flinch at that revelation. "You tortured Poe."
Kylo Ren's lightsaber then unleashed, the crackle of the corrupted kyber crystal was deafening as Ash stared at the sick smirk on his lips. "Only a little." Thunder crashed in the distance.
He was trying to bring the darkness out of her. He needed to see it for himself just how far she had delved into it. His dream still in the back of his mind; Ashlyn becoming one with the darkness was tantalizing almost as it was horrifying. He needed to know just how far gone she was, if she could still fight it. Yet, as Ashlyn charged at him, lightsaber gripped tightly in his hand, he wasn't so sure she could.
Their sabers connecting, crackling and hissing from impact. He pushed back at her, forcing her backwards until her back hit the wall. Her own lightsaber becoming dangerously close to her as he pushed down with his. "It's there, it's always been there. That darkness you tried so hard to fight."
Ash struggled, trying to keep find her focus, her place in the balance. She couldn't find balance. The scale was dipping dangerously to the dark side. He was winning, provoking her to be just like him. Two could play that game as Ash channeled the darkness she was afraid of. With one brave attempt, she pushed back with as much force as her tiny frame could muster. The darkness overwhelming and radiating from her as Kylo Ren was sent flying back and into the door of the hut.
Stunned at the sheer force that came from the red haired girl, he looked back at her. That's when he noticed it, the quick flicker in her eyes. The amber color. She was channeling the darkness like he expected she would. Except, he hadn't expected that much power behind her. He also didn't expect the door to give as she force pushed him back again. Now, he lied on the flat of his back, looking up at the darkened sky as rain poured down on him. His body aching from bruises that hadn't healed yet, and now this. He had to keep provoking her, he needed to know if his dream had any merit to it, if Ash was coming to the dark side.
He got to his feet as quickly as possible, the red haired girl walking out of the hut. "I am nothing like you!" She shouted again, raising her lightsaber.
"Who are you trying to convince, starshine?" Ren tempted once more. Ash ran forward again, slicing upwards only to be met with his saber. He wasn't going to hold back anymore and that showed in the more violent strikes as he countered her movements.
Ash pulled back, unlocking their sabers from their struggle and swiped upwards, causing Kylo Ren to jump back. He twirled his saber, bringing it down with force as she dodged out of the way. Ash took control of the battle then, pushing forward and slashing at the other Force User. Kylo Ren matched her steps, blocking whatever he could as he felt the anger and hatred from the girl. The darkness he hadn't felt from her giving her a strength he hadn't seen within Ashlyn before.
The lightsabers danced in the darkness; the rain falling harder as thunder roared in the distance. Twirling in the dark, clashing and violently connecting to one another. The amber and red blades blending as the two fought. The two Force Users pulled back, their eyes boring into each other as they stood at the ready. Ash gripped her saber tightly as Kylo Ren twirled his. "You know you can't beat me." Kylo taunted. "You never could."
"If you don't shut up, I'm going to give you a matching scar on your left cheek!" Ash spat. Kylo Ren simply glared, clutching his saber before slashing at the girl again. Her saber rose to meet his, the vibration between the Force and the lightsabers resonated through their entire beings.
The two battled for dominance, their sabers locked as the lights illuminated their faces. Kylo Ren's intense, dark eyes staring into hers. "You want to kill me." He mused, his lips quirking upward into a smirk.
Ash groaned as she pushed back against him. "You're damn right I do!"
'Ashlyn, stop this.' She heard in her head, the voice was not hers, not Ren's… but Anakin's. 'He's provoking you. He's pulling at the darkness within you. Don't give in. Don't let him win. You're his light, he's not your darkness.'
She didn't stop, she didn't listen. Instead, she continued to get all her aggression, all her anger and darkness out. Slashing and swinging at the Force User in front of her. He was just as vicious, just as angry. Even though he was weakened, he began to channel that darkness, that inner strength that could end this all in one swift blow. Ash could sense it as the two danced around one another, finding themselves in the woods as they went. Avoiding each other's saber blades as the fighting continued. Thunder roared right above them as Ash shoved Kylo Ren back, using this opportunity to get herself out of the surrounding woods and to an open area. She ran, knowing he was behind her and closing in. Running forward, Ash cleared the woods; the anger, the pain, all of it that had surged through her suddenly vanished as she stared outward at the lake.
The rain was pouring down onto Maridun, the water rippling from the contact. Suddenly, what Anakin said made sense. "I'm his light, he's not my darkness…" She mumbled, staring out at the lake. The same lake where they fully bonded; she could see that night now. The way their bodies molded together almost perfectly, moving in fluid motion. His hands on her body, their lips connected.
Kylo Ren had burst through the treeline now, his lightsaber still cackling as he noticed Ash had completely stopped. She turned to face him and that was when Kylo saw something change in Ashlyn's expression, something was different. The darkness was dissipating as Ashlyn pulled back. The rain continued to come down on the two Force Users as Ashlyn looked at him. "I'm not like you." She said, calmer this time. "I'm not darkness, I'm not light. I'm grey. I will always be grey. I will always balance between the two." Ash retracted her lightsaber, gripping it loosely in her hand as she looked down. "I saw something-" She admitted. "I saw the future; I saw us happy. I saw a child that could balance between the light and dark. I've been holding onto that possibility, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not so sure you can come back to the light, but that's okay. You don't need to. I'm what keeps you from going too far under." Ash felt herself calming down now. "If that's not something you want… then you better just end this now. I'm not going to stop fighting for it."
The two stood in silence as thunder clapped from above. Neither one moving as Ashlyn waited for his answer. Either he killed he now and ended this fight, or he let her keep fighting to save him from himself. "You saw him too?" He finally asked, his hair sticking to his face from the rain. His lightsaber retracted then. "The child?"
"I saw him; I saw us. We lived here, safe and far away from the war. We were happy, we found balance." Ash explained. "It's what I'm willing to fight for. You're never going to come back to the light, and I'm never going to be anything but grey. But we made it work. The Force showed me that. I understand now. Which is why going to the Finalizer is not where I need to be."
"Neither is the Resistance."
"Maybe." She half-agreed. "I know where home is. Do you?"
Kylo Ren slowly walked forward, Ash stood her ground as he stood in front of her. She was ready for anything then, for him to force her to go to the Finalizer; maybe even stab her with his lightsaber. What she wasn't ready for was Kylo Ren to drop his lightsaber in the wet grass; his hands coming up to cup either side of her face and forcefully kissing her. For some reason, that seemed like something that just couldn't happen. But it did. And in her own act of desperation, Ash kissed him back, dropping her own lightsaber as the rain continued to soak them.
Her legs were wrapped around his waist, his arms tightly around her back as their lips still remained connected. The two Force Users stumbling into the hut, Kylo Ren taking the moment to reposition them as he pushed her against the interior wall. His hips pressed firmly against her as her legs readjusted around his waist tightly. His hands found her wrists, holding both hands captive on either side of her head. Their lips connected as their tongues battled for dominance.
Every so often, Ren would roll his hips into hers, driving her mad with passion. Starry eyed and filled with lust, he pulled their bodies away from the stability of the wall. Ash was almost certain they wouldn't even make it to the bed. To her surprise, they did.
Although not exactly gracefully; Kylo Ren placed Ashlyn on the bed and wasted no time finding his way on top of her. Her hands on his top, ripping it open and exposing his bare chest. It wasn't fair, in her mind, how disgustingly good looking he was. He knew it too; she hated that he did.
Another roll of his hips and Ash moaned into his mouth causing him to moan in return. Little did she know she drove him just as crazy. She was about to find out as his arm snaked behind her back. Ren sat up, bringing Ash forward with him. His hands now finding themselves under her shirt, grabbing hungrily at her chest. She wasted no time removing her shirt altogether.
Now it was time for his shirt. She grabbed at it once more, cursing under her breath at how ridiculous his Commander uniform was and how difficult it was to remove. Even with some experience at this point, it was still obnoxious.
So he helped her. With one swift motion, making her feel like a complete jackass, he removed his top. She didn't have time to feel too bad about it as his lips connected with hers again, the two tumbling backwards.
Kylo pulled at the hem of her pants. The two of them needing this just as much as the other. Before she realized it, they were now naked. Hesitation, a quick beat of hesitation on his face as he pulled back just for a moment to look at her. Their fiery passion slowing for just that quick moment. Their eyes saying exactly what they meant. A silent 'I love you' that held just a bit more of a meaning than it ever had. It concealed an apology; it help passion, love, adoration, hate, a bond, companionship. It meant more than they had ever realized as they both gave in to that desire, the consequences would be something they'd deal with in the morning.
Final Note: Oh... so you noticed that this chapter is a little on the short side? Feels like it ends a little too abruptly? Well, if you go to tumblr, and look for 'sillyhazard', you'll know it's my tumblr if you see the girl with the avengers tattoo, you can read the full end scene. Please note, I suck at these sort of things, so please dont' be too mad. Also, if you do end up there, I'm a tad bit curious to see how many people read that part, so just leave a like so I can get an idea, please? Anyway... see y'all next time!