Thank you so much again for all your feedback. Whenever you, the readers, ask a question or tell me something is unclear, I try to work it into the story. So do keep the comments coming while I'm still writing this!
As for how much time has passed by in the story: this conversation with Rebecca is supposed to be on Friday, December 18, 2015 - one week before Christmas. I checked the exact timeline and this makes the day of the accident the evening of Tuesday, December 8. Eleven days in 67 chapters and counting! Record day so far is day six, which took up 15 whole chapters (40-54). Conclusion: Elliot's forced celibacy officially won't be over until January 19, 2016. We will see about that ... :)

...

67. Close

Olivia had gotten Elliot some water and he tried to take a few deep breaths. His ribs were killing him but after a few minutes, his headache subsided a little and he could explain his flashback. He thought he'd heard Captain Cragen tell him he needed to make a decision, and it had sounded like a phone call. But he'd been questioned - interrogated? - by two other men in suits.

"IAB?" Rebecca asked. "You told me they grilled you for quite a while."

"It's possible. I remember a guy staring at me without ever blinking."

"Tucker," Olivia mumbled and he looked at her.

Olivia shrugged.

"He's always after us. Do you remember if he tried to make it your fault?"

Elliot didn't remember. He did remember how he'd finally told Rebecca he was going to quit.

"I couldn't face you yet, Liv. I'm sorry," he said softly.

Olivia just rubbed his back again, and looked at Rebecca.

"You actually told him to retire? Is that even your job?"

Rebecca bit her lip and then shook her head.

"Ordinarily I wouldn't suggest such a thing, but as a friend, I felt he needed that last push. He was too intertwined with you and overwhelmed with guilt about what had happened as well as fear that it might happen again. He needed space to clear his head and then choose wisely. I honestly hadn't expected him to walk out of your life, Olivia."

"But I was coming back to her," Elliot said. "I wrote her a letter."

"Yeah, only I never got it."

Rebecca was curious and they explained to her what had happened with the letter, and the argument with Kathy that had lead up to Elliot storming out of his birthday party and getting mugged.

"I should have a chat with your ex-wife some day," Rebecca said dryly after Olivia had explained what Kathy had done.

"I don't think she'll give us any more trouble," Olivia said, and Elliot was surprised.

"Why do you say that?" he asked her, and Olivia explained.

"The other day when we spoke with Kathy, right before she left, she looked at me and I could see the acceptance in her eyes. She fought like hell to keep you but in the end, she wants you to be happy. She really does love you, El."

"You could tell all that from just one look?"

Olivia smiled faintly.

"It's a girl thing I guess."

He believed her, having accepted years ago that he would never fully understand women. He suddenly recalled feeling that way about his daughters and their friends - again, not really remembering them, but just the feeling. He remembered new little things every day now, and it made his stomach flutter. He owed it all to Olivia and his unbreakable connection to her.

Rebecca checked the time and told them she needed to get back to Brooklyn for an appointment. They thanked her for coming and for her honesty, and Elliot winked at her when she said goodbye. He grinned when Rebecca looked away quickly. He kind of liked having this effect on women and wondered if he'd be able to make Olivia blush, too. He was a cocky bastard and he knew it.

...

Olivia made them a quick lunch and then helped Elliot back into bed. He needed to rest because he had a checkup at the hospital later that afternoon. He was going to arrange for Eli's paternity test then too. Olivia really hoped Eli would turn out to be Elliot's son. She walked around the bed to straighten out the comforter and planned to leave the bedroom after that. When Elliot asked her to lay with him, she hesitated. She had gotten used to sleeping next to him by now, but only because Elliot was usually so exhausted at night that he'd fall asleep within a few minutes. He slept less deeply during the day, and despite his aching body, he was trying to get close to her regularly. It was frustrating to no end that they couldn't fully express their love for each other now that they were finally allowed. As a result, Olivia tried to stay away from him physically altogether. But Elliot clearly disagreed with this tactic.

"Liv, I just love having you close," Elliot pleaded, looking at her with his irresistible puppy eyes.

"Yeah right," she huffed while arranging the comforter. "You love to get frisky."

"That too."

His eyes sparkled and she couldn't help laughing.

"I can't believe you. You've got these splitting headaches every day, and memories coming back to you, but when you see the bed you just flip a switch and think of sex?"

Elliot grinned and shrugged.

"What can I tell you? I'm a guy. Besides, I've learned to live in the present these past four years. You should try it some time."

Before she knew what was happening, Elliot had snatched her right wrist and pulled her onto the bed. She collided with the right side of his body and she could tell it was painful, but Elliot didn't let go of her wrist.

"Do you have any idea what it does to me, not being able to touch you like I want to?" he croaked out, letting go of her wrist and pushing her hair out of her face to look into her eyes.

"I do, actually," Olivia admitted.

"Then why are we fighting it?"

"Your hip," Olivia argued. "It's not allowed yet. And your ribs ..."

"There are others ways to make love, Olivia."

The words 'make love' falling from his lips made her stomach clench and her breath hitch. When she didn't respond, Elliot cupped her cheek. She moved with his hand automatically until he could kiss her lips. She expelled her breath against his lips and before she could breathe in, his lips were on hers again. She propped herself up on her left elbow, never breaking the kiss, and gave in then, kissing him back passionately until they were both moaning, breathing heavily through their noses. Elliot's left hand drifted down her body, from her cheek to her shoulder and then to her chest. She couldn't help moaning again, finally breaking off the kiss to breathe in deeply. Elliot's eyes seemed to have gone a few shades darker and he kept them trained on hers while he moved his hand over her breast. Even with two layers of clothing between his hand and her body, she reacted strongly to him. Images of his strong, muscular form hovering over her assaulted her brain and she closed her eyes. It only made the sensations and the images stronger, and she opened them quickly. She wanted to feel him too, and her right hand drifted across his chest, her fingers finding his small nipples through the thin tank top he was wearing.

"Liv," Elliot sighed, and he squeezed her breast gently.

Olivia didn't look at his face and followed the movements of her own hand in stead, imagining what it would feel like to touch his bare chest. She had seen him shirtless many times but she'd never been allowed to touch.

"Let me touch you Liv," Elliot pleaded, squeezing again and then moving his hand further down her body.

Olivia dropped down on her side, giving Elliot more room to touch her, and as his hand drifted lower and lower, she rolled on her back. She knew where his hand was going and she wanted it there. It had been so long ... Elliot managed to roll over on his right side and moved his mouth close to his ear.

"Let me do this for you," he whispered and his words sent chills through her entire body. He wanted to ...

"El," she said, protesting weakly, but just then, his hand had reached its destination.

She wanted her clothes gone in that instant. Feeling him trough her pants wasn't enough. She was trying to feel guilty about wanting this because it would be less satisfactory for Elliot, but her desire was overriding her logic at the moment. She moaned, arching her back and when Elliot applied a little more pressure with his hand, she turned her head to kiss him.

"Oh baby," Elliot mumbled against her lips.

"What about you?" she managed to croak out against his.

Elliot kissed her deeply again while moving his fingers exactly where she wanted them. When he broke off the kiss, he told her,

"It just feels so good to touch you. It's enough for now."

Olivia's body was screaming to feel him skin on skin and she pushed her hips into his touch. Elliot moved his hand up to the button of her pants.

"May I?" he asked softly and she managed to say 'please' before his lips closed over hers again.

His right arm was underneath her neck and he bent it, pulling her face closer to his while placing his hand on her chest. Olivia scooted as close to him as possible until his hand could reach her breast. He moved his right hand inside her white blouse and traced the egde of her bra while he unbuttoned and unzipped her pants with his left hand. His mouth was skimming her ear and her body was on overload. If she responded so strongly to just a few simple touches, imagine what they would be like once they actually ...

"Ugh!"

Elliot had shoved his hand down her pants and her body jolted. He was now cupping her over her panties but she was so wet that she thought she could come just from this.

"You're dripping," he whispered and she was beyond embarrassment at this point.

The fingers of his right hand kept dancing on the top of her breast and she needed more. She was breathing rapidly and couldn't take it anymore, so she pulled her blouse down herself and then her bra, exposing her scarred but very excited right breast.

Elliot groaned loudly and covered the newly exposed skin with his hand immediately. His other hand moved up and then quickly back down again inside her panties, his fingers finally connecting with her most sensitive skin.

She knew it wouldn't take long. Her body was desperate for a release and just knowing this was Elliot touching her, was enough to make her spiral out of control fast. He definitely knew what he was doing and his low grunts close to her ear only enhanced her own arousal. She wanted to say something, maybe tell him he was doing everything right, but no words would form. When her body shook and she gasped, it told Elliot all he needed to know. He had definitely done everything right.

...

I've tried to keep this T rated for now. If you feel this rating is wrong, let me know and I will change it to M. Reviews make me happy.