Chapter 10
Emma could feel the anger coursing through her veins. It was out of control, and she needed to get a grip before… before something bad happened. She couldn't believe that she had let Gold get under her skin like this, but his words were coming back to her like poison, and she could shake them away.
If you can still love them fully, why hasn't the curse been broken yet?
The darkness will take over sooner or later, and there will be no one to bring you back from it.
Magic. Power. They are your true love now.
She was running, but she didn't know where. She didn't know where to go. She had to get away. She had to get away from all of this. She needed to leave, get out of this town. Just drive away and never look back.
But Eva. Henry. Eva and Henry.
Emma stopped running and looked around. The ocean was spread out in front of her, as far as she could see. Once upon a time, the sound of the waves, and the peacefulness would calm her, but it only made her more frantic. She looked around the dock, looking for the Jolly Roger. She spotted it, just making port.
Eva. Where is Eva?
Emma heard a high pitched squeal, and deep laughter. Killian came into view, holding Eva above his head, as she laughed. Eva grabbed his face, and planted a sloppy kiss on his nose. Killian started walking down, off the boat. Henry came into view, following him. They were laughing together, not a care in the world.
Emma hid behind the nearest building. She didn't want to be seen, not in the state she was in. She tried furiously to blink the tears back that were forming to no avail. They spilled down her face, and she wiped them away angrily.
In a cloud of smoke, she was in her room at Granny's. Frantically, she looked around, grabbing her suitcase, and starting to throw any of her possessions in reach into it. Rummaging through her drawers, she grabbed some of her clothes, stuffing them in without bothering to fold them properly. At the bottom of the drawer was the dagger.
Emma picked it up, her hands shaking with anger, loss, and pain. Seeing her name etched into the side, Emma screamed in fury. She threw the dagger as hard as she could across the room. It hit the mirror in the corner and the mirror shattered into pieces. Feeling a small fraction of satisfaction, Emma pulled the drawer out of the dresser, and flung it across the room as well. Then she over turned the dresser. She then proceeded to trash anything within her reach, until the room was in utter chaos.
Finally feeling defeated, she fell to the floor, and let the tears flow. Every ounce of hurt she had felt since she became the Dark One, she let herself feel. The loneliness she felt after she left, the helplessness. Everything.
She heard a knock on the door, but didn't have the energy to care. Someone was calling her name. Wishing whoever it was would just go away, she let her face fall into her hands. The door was kicked in, but she still didn't bother looking up to see who it was. Arms were around her shoulders, and she was pulled into a hug. She let her head fall on his chest, the familiar warmth of her father calming the storm in her head just the teeniest bit.
"Emma. What happened? What's the matter?" David asked.
"I can't do this anymore." Emma managed to get out through her sobs.
They sat on the floor, David tenderly stroking the back of her head. After several long minutes, Emma pulled back. Hating herself for looking so weak, she moved away from him slightly, and turned her back to him.
"Emma, what caused this… breakdown." David reached out to her, touching her shoulder gently.
Emma took a glance around the room, seeing the ruins that she made. Pulling away from his touch sharply, she waved her hand, and everything returned to normal, fixed and in the proper place. The dagger was still by the mirror. David retrieved it, and handed it to Emma.
"Thanks." Emma said softly.
"Where you going somewhere?" David asked, indicating the half packed bag by the dresser.
"Dad… I can't do this. I can't stay here anymore." Emma said weakly, looking at his hurt expression. "Please don't hate me."
"Emma I could never… hate you. You have to know that." David said sincerely, sitting next to her again, and putting his arm around her. Emma let her head fall on his shoulder.
"It was supposed to help. Having Eva and Henry here was supposed to help." Emma tried explaining. David held her tighter. "But it isn't. It's making it worse."
"I suppose the darkness is fighting harder because it knows how much you love them." David suggested.
"If I loved them, then why hasn't the curse been broken?" Emma asked angrily.
"If it was that simple, the curse would've been broken long before it even reached you, Emma." David said simply.
"No Gold was right. I can't love them fully anymore. Because the want for power is too strong. A part of me wants it gone. But a part of me wants it. Wants to keep it. The harder I try to fight the pull for power, the more I need it. That's why I have to leave. I don't want anyone to be in danger because of me." Emma stood up and walked over to the dresser, putting the knife on top, looking at her name.
"Gold said you couldn't fully love?" David stood up, but stayed where he was.
"He says that the need for power is my true love now."
"Emma that isn't true. You have to know that." David said urgently, walking to stand by her side.
"I don't see how it can't be true. True love breaks any curse, right. But it doesn't work on this one, because I can't truly love." Emma traced her name softly.
"Do you feel like you love Henry less? Or Eva? Or Killian?" David asked.
Emma closed her eyes, shaking her head softly. "No. I don't feel like I love them less. That doesn't mean I don't. It's not about how I feel; it's just the reality of the situation."
"No it's not. I refuse to believe that. The strongest thing about you is your love, Emma. You can't let go of that belief." David urged her. "Gold is wrong. We're going to find a way to get rid of this, Emma. I promise."
"How can you be sure?" Emma asked, looking at him. Tears were filling her eyes again, but she refused to let them fall.
"I haven't seen you fail at anything yet." David stated.
Emma laughed softly. "You sound like Killian."
"Well then he's right. He believes in you Emma, and so do I. We all do. We're going to find a way to defeat this."
"The longer I stay, the harder it is not to give in." Emma said, her voice breaking slightly.
"Be strong Emma. Please don't leave just yet. Just stay for a little longer."
Emma felt herself nod. David stayed for a few more minutes, just to make sure she was okay. Then she was alone again. Sighing softly, she picked up the knife, and put it into the inside pocket of her jacket. Although the talk with David had helped calm her down, she still felt uncertain of how long it would take until the darkness took over completely.
She let her breathing steady itself, and then looked into the mirror. Her eyes were still a little red, but she knew that would only take a couple minutes before they cleared up. Making up her mind, she decided to go to Killian's apartment. She needed to pick up Eva in any case. But she also wanted to talk to him, and give him the dagger. The dagger needed to be in the hands of someone she trusted. Someone that wouldn't use it to control her, but to make sure that she didn't lose control and give in to the darkness.