Apologies for the delay. I'm currently on a roll writing my other story, Take Your Time, which is nearing it's finale. This one will continue also, I promise. Here's the next installment - only a few more to go here as well.

...

68. Hole

Elliot had readjusted her bra and blouse immediately, and Olivia was curled up against his side on top of the comforter, eyes closed, enjoying the afterglow of what Elliot had just done. She knew he must have seen the scars on her breast but he hadn't reacted to them visibly and she definitely didn't feel like talking about them right now. She felt warm and tingly and wanted to hold on to that feeling just a little longer. But she did feel bad for Elliot.

"El, if there's anything I can do ..." she started, but Elliot placed a finger over her lips even before she could finish.

"No need Liv. I just love holding you close. Besides, unfortunately pain isn't the only thing these big doses of painkillers are killing at the moment. If you know what I mean."

She could tell he was grinning with her eyes closed and she was tempted to peek, to see how 'dead' he really was. As if reading her mind, Elliot added,

"Honestly Liv, it would take forever in my current state before I'd get anywhere. And I really should be resting."

He pulled her a little closer and Olivia knew she had no choice but to accept that she couldn't return the favor right now. A small, selfish part of her really didn't mind, because she always got very sleepy after sex. It hadn't always been like that, so maybe it was because she was getting older. It didn't matter. She felt wonderful right where she was, her body content and relaxed and Elliot's body warm and safe against hers. She hadn't planned on taking a nap with him, but she could already feel herself drifting off. Just for a few minutes, she thought.

...

Elliot smiled when he felt Olivia relax against him and he knew she was falling asleep. He was sleepy too, and he'd been telling the truth about his pain killers. They were quite strong and had a devastating effect on his libido. It didn't diminish his love for Olivia in any way though, nor his desire to touch her and be close to her. The days when he could only admire her from a distance were behind them and he had this urge to use every single opportunity to touch her in some way, like holding her hand or caressing her face. He'd done some serious touching just now and he'd had no idea how she would react when he suggested it. The way she had surrendered to his touch so easily, only confirmed to him that it had been the same for her: a slow torture to be near each other without ever being allowed to touch and be touched. He hoped she wouldn't feel guilty about how she hadn't pleasured him in return. If only she knew how amazing it had been for him as well, to finally be able to love her the way she deserved. He didn't want to waste any more time. They had waited long enough for their chance to be together and he wasn't going to let something trivial like broken bones get between them.

As he felt himself doze off as well, all he could think of was the warm softness of her body and the sounds she'd made, taking her with him in his dreams.

...

They had only just made it in time for his checkup. The doctor urged him to take it easy and not overdo things, and Elliot exchanged a look with Olivia. Maybe he should stay in for a little longer before going on field trips again to get more information about his past. But he hadn't wanted Kathy to come to Olivia's place and he didn't regret the meeting. After the doctor as well as Greg had checked him out, Elliot told the doctor about the paternity test he wanted to have done. The doctor referred him to another ward and walked with them to explain to the desk nurse that Elliot was a special amnesia patient so they'd be helped right away. Elliot was grateful and once he'd given another nurse a DNA sample, he gave her Kathy's address and Eli's full name and date of birth, so they could invite them to come in to give Eli's sample as well.

"Do you need a picture of my son?" Elliot asked the nurse.

"Does the mother want the test to be positive?" she asked in return.

"She does. I'm the one who wants to be sure," Elliot answered.

"In that case, I'm sure she'll bring the right child," the nurse said with a smile, and they couldn't argue with her logic.

"He does have a brother," Elliot said.

"How old is he?"

Elliot grinned. Right. There was no way Richard could pass as an eight-year old. He would be 23 in February.

"Never mind," he mumbled, and Olivia chuckled.

After leaving the hospital Olivia wanted to pick up Noah and Elliot chose to wait for them in the car. He really did need to take it easy for a while longer so he'd heal faster and could get off of those debilitating pain killers. Noah's happy chatter from the backseat made his head hurt on the drive home and he was glad Olivia understood that he'd want to retreat into the bedroom until dinner. He was honored that Noah had accepted his presence so easily but he needed some time alone to digest all he'd learned over the past few days. He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.

After shooting a girl because he feared losing Olivia, he had struggled with his feelings for her and how deeply they had come to affect his judgement and his actions. He'd sought help after a while and Rebecca had encouraged him to take a step back and retire from law enforcement. He tried to stay away from Olivia too, but he just couldn't move on. Finally, he'd written Olivia a letter, that Kathy had taken out of the envelope before he mailed it out. He'd probably taken it to the post office himself but he hadn't know the letter was no longer inside. He had been ready to end his marriage and wanted Olivia back in his life. But Olivia hadn't come to meet him. Then, fate had struck and he'd lost all memory of her. He'd lost all his memories of anyone or anything. No one had ever bothered to tell him about Olivia, or about the fact that he'd been on the verge of walking out on his wife, and the fact that he had found out that Olivia never got his letter.

They had tried to make him live a lie, painted a picture of his family life that didn't resemble what it had truly been. It hadn't worked. From day one, it had felt like clothes that didn't fit. He'd tried anyway, mainly for the children. Eli had truly stolen his heart and his closed eyes filled with tears thinking about the young boy. He had to be his son. He just had to. But his life in their family home hadn't felt like home. There had been a hole in his life that he just couldn't seem to fill. Not with spending time with his children, who were basically strangers to him. Not with sex, which he'd only tried a few times with the woman claiming to be his wife. She had been a stranger to him as well, and it had felt very wrong to be intimate with her. She had definitely tried to encourage him but after a while, she had become bitter. Strangely enough, that had felt more fitting than the harmonious, loving relationship she had tried to conjure up for him.

He understood now. They had both become bitter over time, and while Kathy had hoped they could start fresh, her own disappointment hadn't disappeared overnight. It was still there, and as soon as she realized that they weren't really starting over and falling in love again, it had resurfaced.

Moving out had been what was best for all of them, even for Eli, who still spent every other weekend and holiday with him. Now that he wasn't working anymore, Elliot regularly picked him up for field trips outside of their weekends and holidays together, and Kathy never tried to keep him away. He'd been grateful before but in hindsight, he wondered if it hadn't been her guilty conscience making her cooperate. He hadn't forgiven her for taking the letter yet, and he didn't know if he could ever forgive her for not telling him about it after their divorce. What did she still have to gain by keeping it, and by keeping Olivia away? She'd said she wasn't going to give her husband to another woman on a silver platter. He didn't think he'd ever understand that. She'd actually preferred to keep everyone miserable?

Elliot sighed. He didn't blame his children in the end, or even his mother, for not telling him about his job and his partner in the beginning. But surely they must have heard about what had happened to Olivia in 2013? Even then, none of them had said anything. Kathy had mentioned something in passing, and he wondered now if she'd felt guilty after all and had tried to see if he'd remember this particular cop. But he'd been in LA when Olivia was making all the headlines, and she wasn't front page news anymore by the time he got back to the city. Maureen hadn't known but he wanted to ask his other three adult children about it soon.

He smiled, thinking of Elizabeth. He remembered her in a way now. He knew she was his daughter, and it wasn't because people had told him she was. He really knew it and he was looking forward to seeing her twin brother again, to see if he'd feel that connection with his son as well. He truly hoped he would.

...

Olivia attended a few more sessions in court in the days leading up to Christmas, and then Elliot got a call from Elizabeth. She told them Richard was in town and would like to visit his father, and asked if it was okay, and if she could come along. Elliot grinned when Olivia nodded fervently and told his daughter that she and Richard were most welcome to come over. They agreed on the night of the 23rd. Two days before Christmas.

...

To be continued soon.