Chapter 11

His ship was empty when she got to the docks, so Emma headed back into town. She texted Killian, asking where he was, and he responded with the address to his apartment. Emma drove to his place, and parked outside the building. Sighing softly to herself, she got out, and headed towards it.

She found herself outside his door in no time. She sat reading the faded numbers to herself, but couldn't bring herself to knock. It was several long moments before she was able to will herself to put her hand up by the door, and gently knock. She didn't knock very loud, but she heard a scuffle from behind the door, and soon enough Killian had swung the door open, and let her in.

Emma walked past him quickly, taking in his apartment. He was right about having plenty of room. He definitely needed someone to help with the decorating, as it was basically bare. Just the essentials were there, like a couch and dining table. There weren't any pictures, or any sort of decoration, not even a television.

"You look like you need someone to help you decorate the place a little. Maybe brighten things up." Emma observed, not turning to look at him.

"Well, like I said, I spend most of my time on my ship." Killian answered.

Emma nodded, and turned to look at him. "Where's Eva?"

"I brought the little lass here to find something to eat, but she fell asleep the moment we arrived. She's in on my bed at the moment. I'm sorry I didn't bring her to you straight away, but she looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her." Killian explained.

"Don't worry about it. You're her dad…" Emma trailed off, and folded her arms, looking at the floor.

"I just thought that you wanted to have her with you. I know you missed her this last week." Killian said simply.

"I did. But I want her to spend time with you." Killian smiled at that, and Emma returned it.

They sat in silence for a while. Emma was trying to come up with a good way to explain what she was here for. Killian watched her curiously, picking up that she was uneasy.

"You want to sit down? I can get you something to drink while we wait for Eva to wake."

"No that's okay. I mostly came here to talk to you." Emma said.

"About what, love?"

"I wanted to ask you to hold onto this for me." Emma reached inside her inside coat pocket, and pulled out the dagger. She held it out carefully towards him, but he made no move to take it.

"Emma, what…?"

"I can feel the darkness taking over, and I don't trust myself with this anymore." Emma walked towards him, and offered it to him again.

"Swan, I know you. I know that you are strong enough to fight this. I don't want you to be… enslaved to me." Killian stepped back slightly, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't be. Only if you misused the power, and you won't. I trust that you won't. Please take it, Killian." Emma pleaded.

Killian reached his hand out, and took the dagger from her. "I'll keep it safe for you. I promise."

"Thank you." Emma said, and stepped back from him, turning away. Killian carefully placed the dagger into the desk in the living room, looking back at Emma who was pacing.

"Love, what happened?" He was back over to her in seconds, gently holding her shoulder so she would face him. "What's got you so worried?"

"I thought… that… having my kids near me would help keep the darkness at bay. But I was wrong. It's just gotten worse, and I don't know what else to do." Emma admitted.

"You needn't fear, love. I know that you wouldn't hurt them. Henry and Eva. You love them too much."

"Maybe that's the problem. I love them too much, that I'll do anything to protect them. Even hurt others. The temptation to just keep them near me all the time, and anyone who does anything to them would pay for it…until they hate me. Until they leave me." Emma pulled away from Killian, and sat on the couch, her face in her hands.

"I was going to leave again. I had everything packed to go, but David stopped me from going through with it." Emma looked up at Killian, who angrily turned from her.

"You were going to take Eva away from me?" Emma stared at his back, as he leaned over the desk. "Just when I've gotten to know her? You can't keep running from this Emma. There's more people involved now."

"I wasn't going to take her from you." Emma tore her eyes from him, as he turned to look at her. "I was going to leave her with you."

"You were… going to leave her?" Emma met his eyes, and he saw tears start to fall from them. Killian strode over to her, and sat down by her. "Why?"

"Because she deserves better than me. My love for her should be strong enough to overcome this stupid darkness, but it's not. I saw her with you, on your ship, with Henry. She was happy with you. And Henry was happy too. He has Regina, Mary Margaret, David… and you. I didn't want Eva growing up with me, the Dark One. Someone that she would either grow to hate, or be scared of. I couldn't take it if I looked into Henry's eyes one day and saw fear. Fear of me.

It happened with Gold. He lost his son. He almost lost everything because of this. And I'm destined for the same fate as him, except this time, I don't have a way out. Unless I'm killed."

"Emma, listen to me. You aren't Rumpelstiltskin. Just because that happened to him doesn't mean it's going to happen to you. You are stronger than he was." Killian gently pushed a stray strand of hair off Emma's face.

"Maybe. But it's only a matter of time before I can't fight it anymore, and the darkness takes over. That's why I had to give you the dagger; to make sure I don't get out of control." Emma held his hand to her face, leaning into it.

Killian softly leaned his forehead to hers, stroking her face with his thumb. "We're going to beat this, Emma. I believe in you. But if it gets to the point where you can't handle it anymore, and you want to leave; don't leave without me. We'll go with you. Eva, Henry, your parents, maybe even Regina. Me. There's no reason why you have to be alone. Don't leave me again, my love."

His lips brushed hers softly, and uncertainly. He pulled back just slightly, but Emma chased his lip with hers. She put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He kissed her back, with so much promise that Emma whimpered. Killian broke apart from her, looking into her eyes, still caressing her cheek.

The moment was suddenly broken from a small cry from down the hall. Eva had woken up, and was calling for Killian.

"I should go get her." Emma said, standing up and walking towards her daughters cries.

Killian walked after her, and gently pulled her hand, turning her towards him. "Emma. If you wanted, the offer still stands. You and Eva are welcome to stay here. I have an extra room."

"I want to Killian. I just don't think it would be the best idea right now." Emma held his face, slowly reaching up and kissing him quickly before pulling back.

"I understand, love." Emma walked away from him again, and went to get Eva.