I'm sorry I took too long to update. Blame acads. Vacation's over. Anyway, this chapter is very long so I hope I make it up to you. Still gloomy though.

Still, I hope you enjoy!

~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~

When All is Left are Words

Natsume has locked himself up in his room after he visited Mikan, a growing pain in his chest expanding as he took each step away from her. Something was telling him that he wouldn't see her anymore after that – that she will be gone in his life like she never existed at all.

That fueled his feet to run back to her window and assure himself. He was panting when he got there. He can barely breathe and it feels as though his chest would explode at any minute. He was so scared. It was the first time he felt that terrified. His insides felt like they were in the wrong places and his blood felt so cold, he wasn't even sure if it was still circulating.

The curtains were open.

But the room was empty.

She was gone.

For an instant, Natsume underwent a period of denial. Maybe he didn't look hard enough. Maybe she was simply lying on the bed, covered with blanket and obscured by pillows. Maybe she was in a corner, out of his sight. Maybe he went to the bathroom. She can't just simply vanish. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. They were all maybes.

But for some reason he just knew. He just knew that she's gone - for good.

She's never coming back.

His knees buckled as he clutched his head, nausea travelling up his throat. He wanted to puke and he felt incredibly sick. Heavy pants escaped his lips as he sat there, his chest contracting and expanding painfully.

He must've sat there hopelessly for an hour when he heard footsteps coming his way. He didn't bother to look up. He didn't want to. Whoever he is, he thought, he should just go fuck off and get a life.

But the footsteps grew louder and it became clearer that he or she was heading for him. When Natsume finally raised his head, cold purple eyes welcomed him. They weren't the warmest color he wanted to see right now so he sulked back to his trance.

The raven-haired lad was going to let it go easily. He wouldn't mind her sticking around as long as she shuts up. The last thing he needed was something or someone noisy to fuddle his thinking. He just wanted as much peace as he could get. And knowing his cousin, she wasn't likely to babble about unlike her brother. Hopefully.

He was wrong.

"Oy," she rudely said, still looking down at him from where she stood. She was as stoic as ever. Natsume commented sarcastically in his mind. She raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

The raven-haired lad simply looked away. He doesn't really want to talk to anyone right now. He heard her sigh, then was followed by shuffling of papers. Papers? He doesn't know what she was up to. He doesn't care. But he swears that if those happened to be papers for officially disengaging Mikan, he would rip them off to tiny pieces.

"It's pointless talking to you right now, I see," Natsume heard his cousin say neutrally. He still looked away from her. "She's gone now."

The prince clenched his jaws tightly and the raven-haired lass noticed this. She shook her head, even though knowing that her cousin couldn't see.

"I mean it, Hyuga." She said. "She's not coming back. She…" she faltered. That made Natsume glance at his cousin. She rarely stutters. "They're kicking her out." She whispered.

! Natsume stood up reflexively. He didn't know what to do. He just wanted to run. In fact, he was about to but Hotaru's tight grip stopped him. He glared at her knowing that she wasn't affected.

"Listen to me, Hyuga." She said. "Let her go. She doesn't need any of these crap."

"Let me go." Natsume threatened.

"Don't make her suffer any longer."

By now, Natsume was already trembling. "Let. Me. Go."

"Let her live another life. This was a mistak – "

"LET ME GO! I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T FUC –"

"STOP BEING SELFISH JUST THIS ONCE AND SET HER FREE!"

Natsume shut up. Hotaru stared at him intensely then pushed the wad of papers against his chest. She looked away.

"What are – " Natsume was about to ask when the Ice princess interrupted him again.

"That idiot's probably not here anymore by now." She said quietly.

Natsume pursed his lips. "Tell me what you know, Imai. You know something."

"She's going to be exiled." She whispered, tightening her grip more because she knows that Natsume would act impulsively once he knows. He jerked away a little but the purple-eyed girl's clutch was strong. "This is the kindest verdict she can get to avoid all the hate, Natsume. Let her go."

"She didn't do anything!" For some reason, after Natsume said that, he found himself panting heavily as if he just ran a marathon. Had he held his breath all this time?

Sadness crept in Hotaru's eyes. "I know."

Natsume's lips thinned more in agitation as he finally jerked his arm from his cousin's grip. He didn't run away though. He just…stood there, pain painted all over his being.

"This is a load of fucking bullshit."

Hotaru sighed, the wad of papers still pressed against her cousin's chest. "Take them." She said quietly. "They're letters - for you. Read each one of them. After that," she told him seriously, eye to eye. "Tell me your decision."

~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~

'Tell me your decision.' She said. Natsume kept replaying what the cold-blooded princess told him. What decision?

He stared at the letters splayed out in front of him. He frowned at them. He has no idea who they're from and quite honestly, he isn't in the mood to read letters. Nevertheless, he gingerly picked the first one.

Natsume's eyes enlarged the moment they landed on the letter's handwriting. They were from her.

'December 11, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

Hey. Do you know why I'm writing this? It's because...I'm about to leave in two weeks. I know. I'm supposed to marry you right? But...well...I guess that's not going to happen anymore. Your grandma has some other plans for us. When I leave, you'll finally meet your bride. Your real bride. It's not me. Bet you're happy. Haha.'

Natsume clutched the paper almost as if was going to tear. He couldn't believe his eyes. He didn't know. He didn't know anything. He wasn't happy. Not like this. Not without her. He wishes that she knew.

'Did you know why I was late today? Why I went home? It's not because I miss my parents. It's because...I wanted to run away. I heard last night. After two weeks, I'll have to leave. Like I said, your real bride will have arrived by then. I don't even love you. Don't be assuming, jerk. I don't. But then, why did I feel really sad knowing that I'll be leaving? Leaving you? Leaving everything? That I'm not meant for this? That I'm not your bride? So I wanted to escape. I did. But Hotaru called me back.

I didn't want to return either. I thought, 'What's the point? I'm not the one supposed to be by his side.' Mom tried to drag me back. It's not because of Mom or Hotaru that's why I came back. It's because of you. You're a jerk. You're an idiot. You're annoying. But like I said earlier, you're imperfect. I'm not blinded by your glamour, you idiot. You're still human. I wanted to tell the world that. I wanted to shout...NATSUME HYUGA'S HUMAN YOU STUPID PEOPLE. Haha. Stupid. I know. What's the point in telling them that?

I dunno. :P

I just wanted to tell them that you're you. You're not who they think you are. You are not some perfect handsome guy. You're more than that.

I saw you.

You're human.

I like you for who you are.'

He smiled painfully as he read this part, his heart swelling up a hundred times its size. He doesn't deserve any of these – not her care, not her concern. But he was glad that she likes him. He read that line over and over until he's sick of it. Then proceeded…

'Not romantically, of course. But I like you.'

Somehow, he felt a dull pain as he read the first two words – disappointment? Natsume laughed weakly, a twisted amusement shuddering inside him.

'Thirteen more days Natsume. Thirteen more letters. Thirteen more messages for you. Thirteen more days with you.

Love, Mikan'

He stared at the remaining letters in front of him. There weren't thirteen. She hadn't had time to write thirteen letters, he realized. It's because something came up suddenly.

He opened the next letter as emotions swirled inside him. He doesn't know what to feel. He was in jumbles. He was guilty for dragging her into this life. He was mad at life for being so unfair. He was happy for these letters. He was sad because she's leaving. He was disappointed for her not feeling the same way about him. He was…a lot of things.

But none of them could reach her.

'December 12, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

As promised, I'm writing another letter tonight. This day was so tiring. Haaa…I'm tired. This day started out like many of the not-so-normal-but-considered-normal-once-you-enter -the-palace days I had. You know…I forgot that it's Monday and that I will be facing a multitude fangirls ready to burn me to ashes because of that stupid kiss you planted on my lips last Friday. Ungh, seriously, you're such a pain in the ass. But you're quiet today which is a relief. Is something bugging you? You've been avoiding me today too. Weird Natsume is weird.'

Natsume found himself smiling at the memory of the sweet kiss he stole from her. He had no idea that it was her first – and yet, he didn't regret stealing it.

'Anyway, yes. I'm back to my cheerful self because I wouldn't want to sulk until my last day in this crazy Palace. I want to keep good memories that I can remember when I'm no longer around, okay? So I'm not going to be sad. I'll smile so that no one would worry about me either. Maybe if I smile…no one would be suspicious - then leaving wouldn't be as painful. Sigh, even though I say that…Hotaru knows. I didn't tell her though. It's because of that blasted chip. And you know what she said?

She said. "If this is really where it's going to go…Mikan, don't fall in love with Hyuuga,"'

Coldness crept in Natsume's gut and he felt as though someone punched him hard in his stomach. Irrational anger towards his cousin started to manifest as he read the last line over and over. He couldn't accept that the brunette won't let herself fall in love with him because of his cousin. He just couldn't.

Because honestly? He has fallen in love with her. But the next statement crushed his heart ruthlessly.

'So…I'm not going to fall in love with you Natsume. I don't want my leaving to be painful for both of us okay? So you shouldn't fall in love with me either. Ha. Who am I kidding? Natsume? You? The devil prince fall in love with me, Mikan, an ordinary girl? I know. I must be dreaming. So yeah. I promise. I won't fall in love with you Natsume. But I'm willing to be your friend. So from now on, I'll be acting like there's no problem. Okay? You guys shouldn't know anything about my secret until I'm gone.'

But I have fallen in love with you, Mikan, Natsume thought.

'Oh right. I also told the ex-Empress that I know her little scheme. Don't worry. She didn't do anything to me…although I still received five whips for my stupid mistakes during the lessons. But…I told her that she's not going to make me leave easily. I don't know why I told her that either. It's not like I'm going to put up a fight. What do I have against her? Hmmm, I'm hopeless. A while ago, I told myself that I'd stay if you love me and I love you back. (Ah, what am I saying?) But Hotaru told me not to fall in love with you so that's void? But I told your grandmother that I'm not leaving easily?

I know. I'm also confused. I guess I'll just sort things out soon. But don't worry. I told you, I'm not giving up yet. Just that if I really really really have to go…for all your sakes, I'd go.

Twelve more days Natsume. Twelve more letters. Twelve more messages for you. Twelve more days with you.

Love,

Mikan'

I'm confused too, Mikan. I am, the raven-haired prince was left with a faster tornado of emotions after the second letter. Somehow, he wasn't sure if he wanted to read the rest at all, especially if they were only going to cause him sharper shades of pain than the previous ones.

But he continued.

'December 13, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

Jerk.'

The crimson-eyed lad found himself laughing at her first word. What did he do wrong now?

'Sigh. I don't know why but you continued to ignore me today. Hotaru and Ruka left me during lunch and with you running off to who knows where (I guess I know where though) I was left with only myself to eat a very lonely meal. JERK! Hmmph! You and your stupid PMS. Why are you ignoring me though? Is it because I fooled you? You thought I was dumb didn't you? Argh, but seriously, it wasn't my fault. Who told you to think of me as an idiot? Sheesh. Stupid jerk.'

This time, Natsume let himself release audible chuckles. Well, she did fool him there and he did think that she wasn't as smart as she is. But of course, that was not why he avoided her. It was because he found himself falling for her then…and he didn't quite like it.

'Anyway, Anna and Nonoko found me stalk - wait no - researching about you. YES. I was researching about you okay?'

Natsume smirked at her sentence. She was obviously stalking him. That idea gave him surprising pleasure that warmed his insides a little bit.

'Because I don't know who you are! I mean, okay, I know you're Natsume but you know…the basic stuff about you? I don't know any of them - even your birthday. If only I was one of your fangirls, I probably would have known these things by heart as if they were my own bible but no. I'm not. Thank goodness. Anyway, the twins said that I should buy you a belated birthday gift. I agreed. But now, I'm not so sure. I mean, with you ignoring me like that? Tsss. You don't deserve it!

But I'd buy it anyway. Tomorrow…with Ruka-pyon! That's why I asked him to go out on a friendly date with me. Haha. Because I figured that he'd know what you like…although I was hoping Hotaru would come. Oh, and I'd ask him to tell me about the Royal Family too. I thought you could tutor me but with you on your PMSing…Ruka-pyon would do. At least he's not a jerk like you! :P'

He smiled ruefully. He was a jerk, wasn't he? Would things be different if he wasn't? Would she suffer less?

'But seriously, Natsume…why are you avoiding me? Did I do something bad to you? Are you mad at me? Since you ignored me, I've felt something heavy inside me. I feel so lonely. If I did anything wrong, tell me okay? Just don't ignore me. I'd say sorry. Don't just pretend as if I'm not there and avoid me when I come near because it kind of hurts. I thought we were friends? You shouldn't just leave me alone. I feel so sad. My time is running out and I don't want to spend my remaining days with you as if we don't know each other. Okay?'

Yes. The answer is yes. Yes, she would suffer less.

'Sigh. It's only been a day but I kind of miss you. You're a stupid friend, you know that?'

Can we be more than friends? He asked.

'Wait, do you even acknowledge that we're friends?

You should. Anyway, I miss you. JERK.

Eleven more days Natsume. Eleven more letters. Eleven more messages for you. Eleven more days with you.

Love,

Mikan

PS: Who'sNobara Ibaragi? Is she your girlfriend?

PPS: I'm not jealous!'

This time, a low string of chuckles escaped his lips. Nobara was just an acquaintance. Furthermore, it was obvious that Mikan was jealous. Does that mean that she likes him in that way? Even just for a tiny bit? A spark of hope glinted inside but he quickly extinguished it. He doesn't want to hope and be hurt in the end.

He picked the next letter.

'December 14, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

I had a good time with Ruka today. He taught me a lot about the Royal Family. Somehow, I feel closer to you although it's probably pointless feeling this way since I'll be going away anyway. But, it was fun knowing more about you guys. Although I feel happy to have understood more about your Family, I also can't help but feel a little sad. It just made me realize how far and ethereal you guys are. We live in completely different worlds.

Did you know that everyday, when I wake up, I'd pinch myself to make sure that I wasn't dreaming? To make sure that here I, Mikan Yukihira, the ordinary girl, am still impossibly living in your world. Because everyday, I'd thought that I was dreaming. That one day, I'll just wake up and realize that everything that happened with us was all but a dream. Because everyday with you seemed so impossible. How could I breathe the same air as you guys? How can you call my name as if I belong? How can you guys make me feel like a family?'

Because you are, Natsume thought sadly. Although now, perhaps, he thinks more of her 'dream' as a nightmare. How can she look up to them like that? They don't deserve that – not any of that. They brought her pain. She shouldn't. She shouldn't just.

'Anyway, I'm glad you liked my gift. When I saw it, I instantly thought of you and your eyes. Natsume, I probably never told you this but I like your eyes very much. They're so fierce and yet gentle. Being held in your gaze feels strangely like being protected. Whenever I see your eyes, I feel safe just like how I felt when you rescued me from your fangirls. Don't you think it's weird? How my name, Mikan, which means Orange has the same color as your birthstone? And how your name, Natsume, which means Jujube has the same color as my birthstone? Just like how you protected me, I hope that my present will also protect you.

Don't ever lose it!'

Natsume reached consciously at the chain hanging by his neck. It felt warm. But it just reminds him of how he misses her really, really, bad.

'Today, your Aunt Miyabi arrived. She seems like a nice person. I hope I get to really meet her. I want to spend my last days doing worthwhile things.

Oh, and I'll still make you your bento. Honestly, why that? You're so weird Natsume. But I'll make it for you!

Ten more days Natsume. Ten more letters. Ten more messages for you. Ten more days with you.

Love,

Mikan'

The bentou she made was truthfully delicious. He couldn't just make himself say it. But it was the most heavenly food anyone has ever made for him. Actually, it was the only food he ate that anyone has ever made for him. That was why he wanted her to make him a bentou. He wanted to taste the food made especially for him, not some chef-cooked meal.

He sighed as he picked another letter.

'December 15, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

You are definitely crazy.

Chase after me and bring me back? Are you crazy? Ahhhh. I'm so mad at you right now. And what's with that bridal style of carrying you did today? Are you nuts? That was so embarrassing that my heart won't stop beating until now. Why are you so weird today huh? You've been spouting a lot of nonsense. First that 'Never' thingy like I meant what I said about you leaving me alone. Are you serious? Aghhhh…what's wrong with you? You make me all flustered. Are you sick? Seriously Natsume? What the heck is wrong with you? Aish. I want to smack your head so hard! Wake up!'

Natsume laughed as he read the letter. He still remembers that day when he carried her. She was so light; he actually worried if she still eats. But he meant every word he told her that day.

'But…

Thank you. :")

Yes. I'm thanking you for saving me today. If you hadn't come…I don't know what would have happened to me. I might have been beaten up so bad I wouldn't be able to walk. Well, although I said that…it's not as if I can walk properly now. I sprained my ankle so that means I have to endure limping for a while. Sigh. Why didn't you arrive earlier? Haha. Just joking. But seriously, thank you. :) For always being there for me.

I don't know why but when you said that you'd chase after me and bring me back if I leave, I felt really…happy. Will you really do that? Because see, Natsume. I'll leave soon. Really leave you. When I leave, will I find you in front of our house, wanting me back? Will I?

Because…somehow, I find myself hoping.

Nine more days Natsume. Nine more letters. Nine more messages for you. Nine more days with you.

Love,

Mikan.'

Natsume wanted to cry. Now that day has arrived and Mikan was no longer inside the Palace. He remembers telling her his promise and how he was sure to keep it but he didn't know that she was actually going away and that he really has to chase after her.

But to bring her back? Inside the Palace? Somehow, Natsume isn't sure anymore if he still wanted to do that – not if it would just cause her a lot of pain.

'December 16, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

I swear you are acting weirder and weirder each day. What's with that sudden request a while ago? Oh dear. Did you acquire some sort of Pervert Flu, making your pervertedness worse? I swear I thought my heart would implode - it was beating so hard and so fast, it was like it was banging against my ribcage already. And what's worse is that since my chest was glued to yours at that time, you probably felt it. Sheesh! I hate you, Natsume. And what's with those strawberries? A basketful, even. In winter! How did you know that that was my favorite fruit?

You actions today made me feel as if I was in a different month. It's like you made February arrive sooner. Much sooner. Natsume, just so you know…it's not yet Valentine's day. No need to be all sugary, 'kay? Try checking the calendar again. Oh what am I saying? It's not as if you're going to do anything special for me for Valentine's. We're not in that kind of relationship. I must be getting delusional.'

I would, Mikan…but will you still be here then? Natsume asked to no one.

'Anyway, at least I know that I'm not all alone in that case. Nobara-chan, it seems is also like me. You know what she said? She said that I like you. I mean, don't get me wrong okay? I do like you, just not in that way she was implying. Wait. What was she implying in the first place anyway? But…I don't just like you okay? Not romantically. No. No. No. Remember what Hotaru said? I'm planning on sticking to that. No falling - got it. Because everything that falls…breaks.'

The pain that has subsided returned again and just like what Mikan wrote, Natsume can feel his heart breaking into pieces. It was as if she held his heart made of crystal and accidentally dropped it, shattering as it hit the floor.

'But…I kind of thought of it today. It certainly seems like you became my world now. Everything I do revolves around being a good Empress-to-be which finds its roots for your sake. So basically, everything I do is because of you, Natsume. In a scarier sense of the concept, you can say that it's like you're my world now. Which just makes things much more frightening for me. Right now, you are my sun but what about me when I leave the Palace? What will I live for then? What will be left of me? Setting you up as the basis for all my actions…the day when I leave everything behind looms as a very frightening day when I'll lose my way.

Somehow, without realizing it, you became my reason for living.'

Don't say that, Mikan, Natsume whispered silently because he knows that she got it the other way around. She became his world.

'Eight more days Natsume. Eight more letters. Eight more messages for you. Eight more days with you.

Love,

Mikan

P.S. I was kind of happy today - despite that crazy streak of yours. :")'

Natsume stared at the rest of the letters in front of him. There were still a couple – a couple more letters that will bring him another swirl of emotions.

He picked the next one.

'December 17, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

I can't write properly. I'm still on shock over what I have discovered. I can't believe it. It's not possible. It's just not. Maybe there was a mistake. Maybe…this is all a hoax - a trick from the ex-Empress. Maybe it's the first ofApril today. Maybe…I don't know. But…how? Something tells me it's true despite how hard I try to convince myself that I am hallucinating.

Because see, Natsume? I can't be a part of the former Royal Family.'

Natsume stared in shock as he reread the last sentence. A what? Mikan was a part of the what? He knew that there was a previous line of the Royal Family but he never was aware of their identity…and now Mikan was telling him that she was a part of the Royal Family? Doesn't that make her a princess?

Is this what it's all about? She can't be his Empress because his grandmother still treats the former Royal Family with animosity?

'But I saw it. My name - in that list, just under Dad's who was under Grandpa who was under some Emperor Shin. It's just…impossible. Maybe that's why I am not meant for you - because they discovered that I am a descendant of the former Family who ruled Japan. Maybe there was some sort of feud between our family. I mean, with your family overthrowing mine, it doesn't seem to far-fetched right? Is that why the ex-Empress is so opposed to the idea of me being the next Empress? Because she doesn't want our family rising to power again?

Because see…me marrying you gives our family the same amount of power. A Royal blood wed with another Royal blood - that would be terrific. But with how your grandmother prattles about protecting the throne and keeping it to your Family, my idea seems legit right? She said…she said I'd find the answer to my questions once I accomplish this assignment. I have and some of my questions were answered. Which leaves me to just one - Why does she still train me after all this?

Honestly, I don't know. Because…what? Why? I must ask her. Things have come to the light. I see it now. It's not Luna she was talking about when she meant gold - it was me. And she doesn't like that gold, no matter how much she changes me, I just can't. It's written in my blood, Natsume. We're not meant for each other. Our bloodlines say it all.

Natsume, you're not my Prince Charming. I'm not your Cinderella either. We're neither of the characters.'

And somehow, Natsume heard that glass-breaking noise inside him again, as if Mikan stomped on the pieces of glasses that used to be his heart. She was breaking his heart again. He wanted to cry in pain.

'Because all along, we have been Romeo and Juliet - our families in a feud, minus the love part. Somehow, their situation is a reverse of ours - somewhat. But one thing's for sure…

If I fight and push my luck …we'll just be like them.

We won't have a happy ending.

Seven more days Natsume. Seven more letters. Seven more messages for you. Seven more days with you.

Love,

Mikan'

Natsume leaned hard against the wall as Mikan's words resounded in his ears. The spark that flew a while ago was nowhere to be seen and he felt incredibly hollow. Numbly, he picked the next one, no longer caring what it would cause him.

'December 18, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

I don't know where to start. This day ended so far from where it has started. I didn't know it would end up like this.

I thought today would be poured to recovering my lost identity but it seems that fate has a different schedule prepared for me. Today, I became your girlfriend. I wanted to laugh. It all seems to backwards you know? This story of ours. Sometimes, I even get the feeling that we should have started out as a married couple. We did anyway. Close to that. Don't you find it ironic how we started this thing off engaged? And how we treated that bond as something caging both of us, forcing us together when we didn't even want to.

But then we started warming up to each other and finding our way. That was when everything went berserk. All hurdles were set up to stop us from meeting each other half-way. I'm always so close and yet far from you. Today, I asked you what you'd do if you found out that I wasn't your bride. You said that you'd run away because you'll find me because it's me you want to marry. I thought it was all a part of the act. I hoped it was. Because I can't fall in love with you Natsume. I am not allowed to. But then, there you were, telling me that 'Nothing ever was'.

Nothing ever was an act. Was it true? When you told me that you love me, did you mean it? Because I was afraid that you did. And that I did mean it too. This is all too funny.'

Mikan, stop, Natsume pleaded in his mind as he numbly read the letter, dull emptiness echoing inside him. Don't make me suffer anymore. Don't tell me you love me if you really don't.

'It started out with an engagement none of us wanted. It crawled out to a messed up arrangement with third parties trying to break it off just when we were both warming up to each other. Now, devolved to a mere girlfriend-boyfriend thing where both of us wished we were still free to love each other - where everything wasn't an act. Why do I have the feeling that this rhapsody that we have will soon end up with both of us being mere strangers who lost our chances to become more?'

Is that it, Mikan? Are we there now? Have I lost my chance with you?

'It breaks my heart. Had we started the other way, Natsume. Had I just met you naturally in a cafe, would our story be still bound to be as tragic as this? If it were so, I wish that it hadn't started out this way instead.

Still, I am hoping.

Six more days Natsume. Six more letters. Six more messages for you. Six more days with you.

Love,

Mikan'

Tears were now flowing freely on Natsume's cheeks. How long has it been since he let his emotions seep out of his being? How long has it been since he felt this kind of pain? This is too painful. Yet, he knows that he deserves this. And to punish himself more, he opened the next letter.

'December 19, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

Today was supposed to be a good day. I was so bent up on making everything good for the remaining days. But then, turns out, I don't have them anymore. Luna's here. She's the one I was talking to you about.

Your real bride.'

Natsume can't feel anything anymore. Luna? His real bride? That's bullshit. But nothing comes up to mind as he continued to read.

'I don't like her. Maybe it was because I knew that she'd take my place and I was jealous. I don't know. I just hate her. Everyone else likes her though. It hurts. Hotaru especially, likes her better than me. It's painful thinking that after I go, I know that you guys would move on just as fast as how you guys accepted her.

I can't blame you though. You don't know that she'll be kicking me out of the house. And even if you did, I don't even know if you'll be affected. After all, what am I to you?'

You're my everything, Mikan.

'But I was grateful to you because you stood by my side the whole time and never left me. You're a good friend Natsume. A really, really good friend. I just hope it would still stay like this even when I go. And I hope you guys would be happy with Luna.'

Friends…friends…Natsume repeated the word again and again, asking God why they couldn't have been more. He will never be happy with Luna. Why can't she see that?

'I don't know how many more days I can stay with you. Maybe I'll be kicked out as soon as we come back to the Palace. Until then, I'll try to act normal so you wouldn't know. So that I can leave quietly and secretly just like how I entered your lives.

I'm not sure but hopefully there will still be…

Five more days Natsume. Five more letters. Five more messages for you. Five more days with you.

Love,

Mikan'

No, she didn't leave quietly as she had planned. But she was like the sands in his palms that would just slip away silently as you watch them flow, unable to do anything. There weren't five letters either. There is just…one.

And it would decide what Natsume would do.

'December 22, 20XX

Dear Natsume,

A lot has already happened since my last letter. I can't believe that it went by too fast. Too quick. I didn't expect any of these. I thought we would have five more days together but they were cut too short to two.

The quiet desertion that I was planning also backfired. Look at me now, being called a murderer. This was far from what I wanted. But I can't do anything now. This is my fate, Natsume. It's true. I know that I didn't kill your grandmother but something tells me that this must happen.

It's unfair. But it's just.

I want you to know that as I write this, I am smiling. What happened to us was like a dream. I knew that it would disappear as easily as it had come. Meeting you just appeared out of the blue and I understand that our farewells must come just so. It's the most wonderful month of my life.

I never regretted anything. I am glad that I met you and I am glad that I became a part of your life. Perhaps, just like I told you, you'll be marrying someone else. No, not Luna. I won't let that happen. But you'll marry. You'll have a wonderful bride – have babies, rule Japan. I'd be proud to see you on the throne, knowing that the man ruling my country is a noble one.'

Mikan, why can't it be you?

'After some years, you really might forget me. And I have a feeling that I will be going somewhere far. And I won't be coming back. But I want you to remember that wherever I am, I will never, ever, forget you.'

Natsume shook his head. Forget her? How can he? Is she crazy?

'Never.

Natsume, thank you for everything – for always staying by my side and believing in me and for letting me feel all the love that I don't think I'll ever deserve. I'll definitely miss you.

Love,

Mikan'

As the letter fluttered to the floor, fast steps resonated in the hall as Natsume rushed to where Hotaru was, ready to give his verdict.

~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~

Luna was waiting for Natsume by the corridors when he rushed past her, as if she was merely some Palace decoration that was not worth noting for. She had been standing idly on her place, eagerly waiting to deliver the fresh news that had reached her through an official letter.

This, of course, involves Natsume.

"Hey!" she called as she caught the Prince's arm, knowing that he wouldn't stop with only her screaming. "Wait,"

"What?" he asked irritably, obviously in anger, his eyes hidden beneath his bangs. Luna paid no attention to this. She was too wrapped up with her newly found information.

She waved the piece of paper in front of the raven-haired lad. "Guess what this is," she smirked triumphantly.

Natsume didn't budge.

"Very well," Luna sighed after some seconds as she shoved the letter into Natsume's hands. "Read for yourself."

The Prince impatiently snatched the piece of paper from the lass as he started to sweep his sight word after word. It only took him some seconds after he received it for him to let it flutter to the ground as he rush to where his cousin was. This time, faster.

Luna, on the other hand, simply watched as he went, a smirk plastered on her face. What was written on the paper?

Office of the Emperor, Tokyo Imperial Palace

Chiyoda, Tokyo

December 24, 20 XX

Announcement:

Greetings!

This letter was dispersed to inform the following parties, Prince Natsume Igarashi-Hyuga and Lady Luna Koizumi, that changes regarding His Royal Highness, Prince Natsume's wedding. The changes are as follows:

Due to Her late Majesty's will, Empress Youko Hijiri-Hyuga, Prince Natsume is now to be wed to Lady Luna Koizumi as Lady Mikan Sakura-Yukihira is now found to be ineligible for the position, having been charged with the grave crime of murder.

Instead of the initial date of wedding on January 1, 20XX, the matrimony shall be moved five days earlier, December 27 of the current year as requested by authority and with the approval of the Prime Minister, Kuonji, and the Emperor, His Royal Highness Ioran Hyuga.

The given statements are deemed irrevocable and irreversible lest vetoed by the majority of the country's population.

Signed,

Prime Minister

Kuonji

Emperor

Ioran Hyuga

~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~

This is by far the longest chapter I've ever written. Ever. Hahaha. Ohhhh, yeah. I bet this chapter is stressful. But I still do hope that you liked it. Did you? XD

But good news! This (hopefully) will be the last gloomy chapter so expect the comeback of wisecracks on the next chapters. Btw, we only have six remaining. Awww.

We're nearing the end. But it's never too late for you to REVIEW and tell me what you think! REVIEWWWW!