(A/N-Thanks to Bekki for beta reading this story, appreciate it so much boo! And thanks to those who read, review, follow and fav this.)
Weeks passed and now she had been working with Robin for the last six months, and every day was almost torture. It was torture to be around him every day and not be able to do anything about it. She wanted to blurt out to him what her feelings for him were now.
She was full blown in love with him!
She was riding the subway to work this morning and kept hearing Robin's words to her ringing in her head. The best secretary he had ever had. She loved that he appreciated her work, her dedication to this job. His words meant so much to her.
She shifted her stance as she stood on the subway, thinking of how hot it was already in the city. She kept telling herself that it was from the summer heat, making her feel a little hot, but in reality she knew it had less to do with the temperature, and more to do with her boss.
Stop thinking about him, Regina told herself as she got off the subway and went to her job. She was extremely nervous about the decision she had made last night. Maybe it was made in haste but she couldn't keep doing this to herself, couldn't keep seeing him and not being able to follow her heart.
Just then, the object of her heart walked towards his office. Regina's heart did what felt like a back flip as it always did when he was around. What was it about him that she loved so much? She stared into those blue orbs of his, his mouth, his chin, and while the features were all perfectly shaped, her interest had less to do with the physical perfection than the intensity beneath. There was something about him, as she put her pen to her mouth, something deeper, more complex than what he was prepared to reveal.
"Good Morning, Regina," Robin said.
"Good Morning, Mr. Locskley," Regina said with a professional smile. "Mr. Anderson just called from the courthouse, would you like me to call him back?"
"Not just yet, I have a few phone calls to make first," Robin said, "and it's Robin. I'll let you know when I need you to call him back."
"Is there anything else I can do right now for you?" Regina asked.
"No. Just hold all my calls for now," Robin answered.
"I'll do that," Regina smiled and was very nervous as she started typing a form up for Robin.
He walked to his door and walked into his office, as soon as the door shut behind him, she let out the breath she had been holding. She knew that she had to take this step, she couldn't keep telling herself that something would ever happen between them.
And suddenly tears filled her eyes, ridiculous tears that had nothing to do with work and everything to do with wanting so much and not knowing how to accomplish any of it. Once the dam broke, she couldn't keep the tears at bay. Suddenly she was crying because she couldn't have what her heart wanted more than anything. She was going to let down the only family she had left, her father.
As horrible as the tears were, as embarrassing as they are, they were real. It's hard to try to act so strong all the time. The tears continued to stream and Regina, who firmly believed that tears didn't belong at the office, grabbed a tissue from the box of Kleenex and blew her nose before being forced to pull off her glasses and wipe her eyes dry.
"Regina, are you alright?" Robin's voice was coming from the doorway. She hadn't heard him open the door.
Regina struggled to hide the tears and quickly tossed the damp tissues away, "Yes, Robin. I'm fine."
His skeptical gaze went over her face. She knew she was a wreck when she cried, which was why she hated crying. Some women were delicate weepers. She was not. Her nose went shiny. Her eyes turned pink. Her complexion took on a spotted tint. But she squeezed her lips into a professional smile and hoped it would work.
It didn't. His bow creased deeper. "You look like you're in agony, Regina. Do you need to go home for the day? Or take an early lunch?" he offered to her.
"Oh, no, that's not necessary. It's not even ten yet, and it's nothing...it's just...just," she stammered.
"Just what?" Robin asked as he went to stand before her.
"I've made a mistake," Regina said.
"I'm sure it can be fixed," Robin said.
"No, it's too late now," Regina said as she pulled the piece of paper from her purse and handed it to him.
Robin looked puzzled as he took the paper from her, he quickly read what she had wrote and was even more confused. "Regina...you can't be serious? You're leaving?"
"I'm sorry that I couldn't give more notice," Regina said.
"But, Regina, why would you leave?" Robin asked, couldn't imagine her not being here, working beside her, seeing her every day.
"I'm just going to have to make a change in my life," Regina said. "Please, please just go about your day and I'll start looking for my replacement."
"Easier said than done," Robin said.
"I'll start contacting the local agency," Regina said as her fingers hovered over the telephone, fixing her gaze on the phone and hoped he would go back into his office.
He did not. He remained where he stood, just across her desk, his tall, solid body in his suit. She could smell his fragrance, smell the alluring of musk, and her gaze slowly lifted, traveling up his white shirt, past the elegant gray and black tie to the square cut of his chin and his impressive lips. She thought sometimes she'd do just about anything to have a kiss from those lips...
And there she went again, fantasizing, like she'd spent half the night last night.
Last night she'd imagined driving around the city in the back of Robin's limo and she was wearing something silky and clingy and they were kissing madly. His hand was cupping her breast and she was making desperate little whimpering sounds and she couldn't get enough of his mouth, of the feeling of his hands on her. In her dream, she imagined she was someone he desired, someone he wanted more than he wanted to breathe.
But of course morning came and she woke up and dragged herself into the bathroom for a reality check shower.
And still he stood there, before her desk. She didn't know what he wanted, what he was waiting for. Regina dropped her hands back into her lap, "Do you need something, Robin?"
He was looking at her most strangely. Looking at her as if she wasn't Regina but someone else. The slash of his eyebrows drew closer together as he continued to study her. "Yes, I want to know why you feel like you need to leave here all of a sudden."
Heat filled her, a warm slow heat that made her tingle from head to toe. She knew that this would never work between them, someone like him wanting anything to do with her. But oh, how she loved him, and oh, how she wanted him. But living in fantasy land was just about to do her in.
"Change," she answered huskily, wishing yet again she were someone else, someone with style, someone with grace, someone that men would fight to ask out. Although, really, she didn't want men, she wanted just one man.
Robin.
What a stupid, futile wish. What a stupid path she was traveling.
She had to get a grip. She had to get a grip on things. Because even if she wore a red dress and put hot rollers in her hair, she wasn't the supermodel that was Robin Locksley's type. Wake up, Regina. Grow up, Regina. You're never going to be his type.
"But you like working here?" Robin persisted.
She swallowed the lump in the throat. Of course, she loved working here. This job was life changing and she was almost this close to getting a foot hold on her father's debts to Blanchard. She could only nod to his question.
"Then why can't you continue to work here?" Robin asked.
When she didn't answer, he pressed, "So there is a problem here at the office?"
Her chest felt raw, her lungs ached with bottle air. "Yes," she whispered.
His eyebrows drew even more tightly together, "You don't like working for me?"
Like didn't even factor into any of this. It was more of a love hate thing. She loved working for him but hated that every time she saw him, her heart went from pitter patter and broke in the next second. She didn't want to be just his secretary. She was dying to be his lover.
Regina bent her head and couldn't look up at him now.
"So it is me," Robin murmured.
"No!" She looked up at him, emotion so strong she was sure he could see what she was feeling in her eyes. But she did need to tell him something because obviously, she was having a problem right now. Searching for another job that she could live on and try to pay back Blanchard.
"It's not you," she denied. "It's me."
He shook his head, lines fanning from his eyes, deep grooves etched beside his mouth, "I don't follow."
Her eyes burned and she fought the urge to sniffle. She knew her nose must be bright red and her glasses were fogging up. "I've fallen in love."
There was a moment of dead silence and then a small muscle in his jaw popped, "With someone here? At my law firm?"
He couldn't have sound more doubtful. "Yes," she answered.
It wasn't a lie. She had fallen in love and she was in a dilemma and she'd never been so impulsive in all her life.
He leaned on her desk, leaned so close to her she caught another hint of his cologne. "He doesn't love you?"
Her eyes burned and she swallowed hard. "Oh, no. He's not interested in me."
"Is he married?" Robin asked, thinking of all the males he had employed here. Most were married men, happily married men, or so he thought. There were almost ten who were still single.
She shook her head quickly, "No."
"Has he taken advantage of you?" Robin asked, wanting to punch the fool for two reasons. One for hurting her obviously, the other for being the one that she said she loved. When he wanted the latter more than anything.
She couldn't help the blush that hit her cheeks, "No. No, it's not like that. The problem is, I don't think he knows I exist, while I..."
"You what?" Robin asked.
"I'm crazy about him," She averted her head, wishing she could just crawl into some city manhole to hide.
"That does sound bad."
"It is," she answered huskily, her voice breaking. She could feel his gaze rest on her, what seemed to be sympathy, and she didn't want it from him. "Which is why I can't work here any longer. I can't keep seeing him every day like this."
"But if he doesn't know...?" Robin asked.
"It doesn't matter if he knows or not. I know. I know when he's here. I hear his footsteps, his voice and it's painful now." She bit her lip, fought for control. "I can't do this anymore."
He studied her for a long silent moment and then shook his head. "Fine. Tell me his name and I'll fire him this instant."
Regina nearly fell out of her chair, "You can't."
"I'm not going to let one of my most valuable staff members ruin her career over some sap," Robin insisted. That and he hoped without the idiot here, she would have time to get over him and move on. Hopefully, with him one day.
"You can't blame him!" she protested.
"I don't. But I'm also not going to stand by and watch you walk out," of my life, he thought. "Because of some guy here, who is knocking around with your heart. If you can't stand coming to work because Mr. HeartBreak works here, then give me his name and let me take care of it." Robin said.
She couldn't believe he was serious. He'd fire someone because she wasn't happy here anymore? "You can't be serious, Robin."
"He'll get an excellent severance package," Robin informed her.
"Robin!"
"And the best references," Robin promised her.
"No," she protested.
"I want his name," Robin said to her.
"No," her phone rung and she looked at the handset where the number and name of the caller flashed, "It's Mr. Anderson again," she said, heart hammering, hands shaking and yet incredibly grateful for the interruption.
"His name, Regina," Robin pressed for that information.
Her phone rang again. She tensed, muscles tightening everywhere. When the phone rang a third time she couldn't keep silent. 'I'm going to answer. Do you want to take the call or should I take a message?"
He didn't say a word, his blue eyes locked with hers. He didn't look angry as much as he determined, jaw sticking out, expression intense.
Regina reached for her phone, "Mr. Locksley's office, how may I assist you?"
He gave his head a slow shake and mouth the words, "This isn't over, Regina," before returning to his office.