(Y'all know what this means. First song is Numb by Linkin Park, listen to it while you read; next is Unbreakable by Fireflight, listen to it (bless that this is the last time I have to do this!))
...
Alice got changed in the girls' locker room, not changing her outfit too drastically, only removing her purple blazer in favor of a sleeveless jean vest, replacing her long stockings for fishnets, and trading her black flats for black ankle, 3in boots. Donning her usual pink wig, the final touch was for her to remove her glasses and put on her contacts. Looking in the mirror Alice saw the part of her that she had always idolized, wishing to be more reckless and be able to express her true self. She began to have second thoughts, scared that if she went through with her plan that she'd lose everything that she, as Alice, had built. She shook her head to ride her mind of its doubts. 'That's not the life I want.' She reminded herself, knowing that this was the only way to get what she wants in life. 'I'm not a doll.'
Walking out of the locker room Alice met up with Alfred in front of the doors, except his back was turned to her and even when she made her presence known, he didn't turn around. Alice asked him if he would prefer to wait for her until after the concert.
"No, I want to support you… It's just been a while since I last saw you this way."
Alice mumbled in agreement as she slipped her hand in his, surprising Alfred when she gave him a gentle squeeze.
"We were dating back then." She commented.
"Yeah."
Alice began to sway back and forth on the palms of her feet in anticipation and nervousness. This conversation could lead to any number of outcomes, some hopefully favorable. Alfred also seemed to be lollygagging on his words as well, shy to what both of them knew they wanted to hear at that moment.
"Alfred." Alice spoke up, grabbing his cheek and directing his attention towards her. Alfred look at her in awe for a moment, seeing her as he once did, the fire for the girl that he had once been in love with now rekindled with the solid evidence that both girls he fell for were once in the same.
"Alfred, I wanted to say that-"
By damned at that moment Kiku had come bursting in, obviously frantic, calling for England as he came running for them. Alice ripped her hand from Alfred's before the small Asian reached them; Alfred silently whining when she did so.
"England-chan, were on in two minutes!"
"Okay, sorry for keeping you waiting, let's go." Alice responded and began to make her way for the direction of the stage. Kiku nodded and grabbed her left hand as they went.
Alfred, who had yet to take a step at this moment, felt a burning jealousy ignite in his gut watching his rival getting close to his ex-(and hopefully future) girlfriend. Running to catch up with the other two, he quickly snatched hold of Alice's right hand, making both of the two jump in slight surprise. Alice smiled to him but said nothing and continued to walk in silence. The two boys however, they were having a little war of their own, drilling bullets into each others skull's as they glared at each other down into the ground; exchanging telepathic threats to each other.
'Back off, she's mine.' Glared Alfred.
'Not under my watch.' Glared Kiku.
Alice wasn't completely oblivious to the two boys though and could feel the protective hold of Kiku, and the possessive hold of Alfred. Her mind was sprinting with the realization that both boys on either side of her had proclaimed to be in love with her. She felt like a can of tuna placed between two feral cats. Although she knew which cat would win her heart in the end, the tense air of the fight kept her stiff as she desperately tried to focus solely on walking.
They could not have arrived at the stage any sooner. Alice felt her tight muscles relax when she felt both hands let go as she grabbed her guitar and started up the steps beside the stage. Kiku had gone up before her and settled himself on the far left side in front of his keyboard, a microphone in front of it as well. Two other microphones were placed on stage in front of Gilbert and Alice, for when they sang back up or had their own song.
"Iggy," Alfred called behind her, "play out your soul." He smiled tenderly at her. Alice blushed from the way he looked at her and timidly smiled back.
"Okay." She nodded and went up to the stage, looking out into the crowd. As Kiku introduced them Alice scanned the faces for her mother, and found her in the very back along with Scott and Dylan. Alice nodded her thanks to her brother; Dylan gave her a thumbs up. She had only just told him her secret earlier today, asking for him to make sure their mother watched her entire show. He was surprised at first, not able to fully grasp what she had told him right away. The idea of his little sister sneaking out every week to a warehouse party was not at all what he ever expected from her. But after some explanation, he became proud of her, for finding an outlet in something she loved and having the gullet to disobey their mother for so long. After that, he was ready to help her with whatever she needed, thus bringing their mother to watch the show.
She could already see the disapproval on her face at what they were wearing, all of them being rebellious with their school uniforms except for Ludwig, who never liked the punk look himself.
Once introductions were finished with, Kiku began the song on mix with his keyboard, joined in by Alice and Gilbert, followed by Ludwig. Alice tried to let herself calm down and sink into the music, but the constant knowledge of her mother watching her but her on edge and made her stand like a statue as she played for the whole song. Not even playing the strings could take her mind off of her audience completely, it felt wrong, this was a side that she had never allowed herself to show her mother, and she felt herself slowly crumbling inside.
[Numb by Linkin Park]
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take!
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
The disgust and contempt for the music was plain on her mother's face throughout the entire song and the rest of their entire set. Alice would only sing one song for their concert, which would be after the intermission and the last song of the day. Simply thinking about it made her anxiety skyrocket. Every single regret in the book of life started to surface around her as she desperately began to want to abandon her plan. It was stupid, why did she think it would work? She'd be on the streets before two words left her mouth.
In the midst of the third song, Alice caught Alfred's gaze, his eyes full of worry due to her obvious struggling confidence.
By the time the intermission began Alice felt like was going to throw up as she clumsy made her way off stage and sat herself down on the ground and chugged a bottle of water, and crushed it in her hands when she was done. Kiku quickly followed down after her and sat down by her side, rubbing circles into her back, trying to comfort her by whispering comforting words.
"It's no use Kiku!" Alice cried and buried her face into her knees, clutching her legs against her chest. "This isn't going to work!"
"You can't give up Alice-chan," Her best friend told her, "remember what's at stake."
"But how can I defy my mother?"
"Simple, you shove your finger in her face and give her a piece of your mind." Alfred's voice arrived before her, causing Alice and Kiku to raise their heads. Alice gave him a look of surprise and confusion, while Kiku rolled his eyes at the American but was ignored. Alfred stood over her with a concerned gaze, and then took a knee to level himself with her. "Ally, when we first met that day at school you showed me an unwithering authority and confidence. When I met you as England you showed me your free spirit and wild side. It's time for you to stop denying yourself of either of these two sides. They both make up who you are." Alfred took one of Alice's hands in both of his, cupping it and holding it as he smiled into her gaze. "You have what it takes to be a great musician; you have to make sure your ma knows that too."
Alice grinned back at him a smile so large that it made her cheeks hurt, but she didn't mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, thanking him. After they pulled away Alice wiped her eyes and thanked both of them, telling Kiku and Alfred that she was better and ready to continue with the plan.
Standing back up on shaky legs Alice took in a long breath, held it, and then let it out; repeatedly until she had regained most of her composure. She still felt nervous and shaky, but more confident than before.
"Okay..." She shook, "I'm ready."
Alice bid farewell for now to Alfred as he returned to the crowd, and she and Kiku returned back to the stage, where Ludwig and Gilbert were already waiting for them. Back in their spots they prepared for their last four songs, which went rather well. Alice focused solely on the music, letting the music take control of her mind and body, sweeping her away from her previously enslaving thoughts. Kiku's voice made the music so easy to fall into, and Gilbert's drumming set the tempo that guided her through, while Ludwig's bass held her up and kept her focused.
The songs began to blend together, one after another, and in the midst of it all, Alice began to recall the first rehearsal they had ever had together almost two years ago, on a Saturday afternoon in the Beilschmidt's mansion.
It had been a complete wreck; nobody was cooperating with one another. Gilbert had been overbearing and trying horribly to lead them all; Ludwig had been getting increasingly frustrated and trying to take control from his older brother; Alice was unsure of herself, scared if her mother found out somehow, but let her pride to continuously argue with the others; all the while Kiku had been as quiet and impartial as ever. An hour had past and they had only made it to the fifth measure of I hate Everything About You by the band Three Days Grace. It was obvious that they didn't work as well as they thought together and they were beginning to think that they should quit the idea of forming a band. Gilbert had left the room and headed upstairs in a fury and Ludwig had resolved to going into the next room in the basement, where the recording studio was. Kiku and Alice looked to each other with worry and stress, unsure if this idea was a good one as well. They didn't know what to do, whether they should try again or leave. A minute of silence passed before Alice picked up her six strings again and looked to the music on her tablet. She started the simple strums that repeated itself over and over, tapping her foot calmly to keep time. After the ninth consistent strum, Kiku began his lines quietly but slowly started to get a bit braver. Hearing them from above, Gilbert came back down to see what was going on, and smiled when he saw how easily the two of them worked together. Moving over to his set he began to follow through on his part. The three of them keeping time and strength with each other. Finally Ludwig came out as well and simply observed until his brother shouted at him to join in. The taller blond German then reluctantly moved over to pick up his bass and began to play.
Once the song ended they were quiet for a few moments before they all began to laugh. From then on, they were officially a band, and Ludwig had come up with their band name: Destination Country.
Alice snapped back into the present and looked up at everyone, the song had just ended and it was time to move on, to her final song. The time was nigh, her fears now depleted; Alice moved her microphone to the center of the stage and settled herself to take the lead. Out in the crowd somewhere was here mother, and she searched to locate her, and when she did she began.
"This next song was requested by our very own student council president, Alice Kirkland, for someone specific." Alice trained her eyes on her mother's. "Michelle Kirkland, this song's for you."
[Unbreakable by Fireflight]
Where are the people that accuse me?
The ones who beat me down and bruise me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger
God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better
God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me
Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust
(God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me) x2
With the last cord of that song delivered, Alice felt herself nearly collapse from the pure intensity that she had given during that performance. She could feel her entire soul be bared into that one song as she tried to communicate her message to her mother. Even when everybody in the crowd cheered after her, the world around her fell silent as she looked to her mother. And just as she expected, there was a fury in her eyes.
Alice calmly made her way down from the stage and went around and through the crowd. It was time, the moment was here. She approached her mother, facing her head on, walking confidently, no longer letting her mother take the reins over her life; it was time for her to take control.
"You are going to follow me, and we are going to talk." Alice said in a commanding voice in English, now refusing to speak a different tongue.
Michelle Kirkland narrowed her eyes at her tone and stance, but followed along anyways. Alice led her to a secluded spot of the festival, behind a booth that had closed, as it ran out of prizes. Alice stopped and turned to confront the woman who had held her strings as if she was a marionette for her entire life, and cut those strings off.
She removed her wig. Her mother didn't seem surprised, but instead had a derisive look in her eyes when her daughter revealed herself. She gave Alice that look, the one that used to discourage her so. No more.
"Mother," Alice spoke clearly, bracing herself for the words that were to come next, "I'm moving out, and starting next school year, I'll be transferring out of World W. Academy."
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Welp there it is, next chapter maybe the last unless I do an epilogue, would you guys like one? Let me know. Please let me know that I'm actually writing to people and this story isn't just being completely ignored. Well byeee!
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