A/N: Here's next chapter. And I am so sorry for the long wait for this story. Life just got crazy and I didn't have much time to update. Anyway, I hope you all like his chapter.

Special thanks to jenny crum, Christiangirl and guest!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 12: Personal heartbreak

JJ was looking around the apartment while Hotch was getting them something to drink. It looked like a common bachelor pad, and that didn't surprise her. There were barely any pictures in the apartment and the only ones, he did have was one of two little boys, one of them looking a lot like Hotch. And the other picture was of him and a pretty blonde standing next to each other and smiling happily. She wondered who she was. There was only one picture of her, and JJ didn't think the blonde was his sister. She didn't look like him at all.

Her mind started searching for a reasonable explanation. Maybe he had been married. No, he would've told me. I hope so… she went on. But she was taken away from her thoughts when he stepped next to her and handed her the beer.

Hotch instantly noticed that she was looking at the picture of him and Haley from two years ago. It was taken at his birthday and it was soon after they had announced their engagement to their family. He still remembered how happy everyone was for them. Many people expected them to get married while they were in college, but they both wanted to live their lives before really settling down. But neither of them knew that Haley would end up pregnant about a year later. So they put their plans for marriage on hold and decided to marry when their baby was born. Their plans were just railroaded by the tragedy they had to experience. They lost their baby girl. The pain was still fresh as he thought about it. It brought tears to his eyes as he stood next to JJ.

JJ felt the mood change. Some tension arose as they both stared at the picture. ''She's beautiful.'' JJ sighed out, turning around to face him. It was then that she noticed his eyes filled with regret and pain.

''Yeah, she is.'' Hotch croaked out, ready to tell JJ the entire story. Maybe, he should've done it sooner. He had no idea what she was going to say about it. Maybe she believed he was still waiting for Haley, which he wasn't. ''That's Haley. My ex-fiancé.'' he went on, stumbling through his words. He gazed into the blue orbs across from him, and he felt his nerves settle. She would understand. He knew it. ''We decided to end our engagement four months ago.''

''What happened?''

''Haley and I met in high school and we were inseparable ever since that moment. We survived college together, finding jobs, and living together. I proposed to her two years ago.'' he explained simply. ''We were supposed to get married, but Haley got pregnant and we decided to wait. The pregnancy was unexpected but we were so happy with it. We were both ready to start a family.''

JJ took a step back with hesitance. ''You have a child?'' she asked in despair. She had been doubting her decision to start dating because of her job and the fact that she had to lie about a lot of details in her life. Involving a child wasn't something she could do. The guilt was taking her over and all the rules of the CIA went through her head. She even remembered that Collins told her specifically to stay out of serious relationships. It could be dangerous.

''Our daughter was stillborn.'' he said in tears. ''Doctors had to induce labor when Haley was seven months pregnant. She had to give birth to a baby, knowing that she had died already.''

JJ could feel his pain. It was all over his face, and she didn't know what to say. So she pulled him into an embrace and she held onto him tightly, her arms wrapped around his neck as his arms went around her back. She felt him pull her closer in a gentle but powerful way. ''I'm so sorry.'' she whispered. ''I am sorry for asking.''

He broke away and looked at her with appreciation. ''You didn't know.'' he said with emotion. ''We both just couldn't handle the pain. We put it out on each other and the best thing was to end it before it got worse.''

''Did she have a name?''

He nodded. ''Clara. Clara Hotchner.''

''That's a beautiful name.'' JJ whispered as she took his hand. She led him to the couch. She pushed him into the couch gently and she waited for him to be comfortable. She leaned down, cupping his face with both of her hands. She let her lips connect to his passionately, and before she knew it, he pulled her onto his lap forcefully. His hands rested on her hips as he coaxed her lips apart.

Her heart rate increased as his tongue slowly but passionately entered her mouth, their lips coming together. Her body was exploding from the immense sensation that made her grow dizzy. Each movement she made, he matched by hardening their kiss. JJ felt his hands move up and down her body, exploring slowly but willfully. The patient man seemed to lose his patience when he pushed her onto the couch and hovered over her, his eyes darkened and filled with desire.

Both of them knew it was too soon for this to happen. They still had to learn a lot about each other, but the moment had taken them both hostage. They were intoxicated by the other.

Hotch started to push the dark blue blazer off of her shoulders when he felt her hands against his chest.

She pushed him back as she sat up with a widened smile. She had to stop or else there was no going back. ''We should take it slow.'' she whispered against his lips. ''I don't want to make any mistakes.''

He kissed her deeply once more before he finally pulled away. He groaned out in frustration. ''You're right. I wouldn't have been able to stop it from happening.'' he admitted.

''Well, I expected you to be a man who's in control of his emotions and urges.'' she joked as she pulled her blazer over her shoulders. She received a laugh from him. ''What?''

''I usually am in control. A lot more than you'll probably want to see. The people at work call me a hardass or a bully.'' he smiled out. ''So, it's going to be even worse for them since I've become their boss now.''

''There's nothing wrong with that, Aaron.''

''I know, but I tend to internalize and keep everything to myself. Which is not always the best thing to do.''

''Well, you don't have to internalize with me.''

He pulled her closer and put a kiss on her cheek. ''You make me lose my control, so I bet that you're able to make me talk whenever you want me to.''

''You don't have to tell me everything, Aaron.'' she contradicted. ''A little mystery or surprise can be nice every once in a while. Besides, we have only known each other a few days so I don't want to expect too much this early on.''

''You're very smart.''

JJ crawled against his side as he put his arm around her. They just sat there, taking in all the feelings and emotions that already came with their barely starting relationship. It all seemed to be good to be true. For JJ, it felt like the start of a real life, but knowing it could end any moment already scared her. She cared more for him than she was willing to admit and her job could put an abrupt end to their relationship. It scared her more than anything. But for the first time in her life, she was giving herself some freedom from her obligations.