Author's Note: Here's a really really long chapter. Like. Really long. I probably should have made it 2 but... I'm slowing down on updates right now. Not sure if it's because the whole Star Wars craze has died down a little bit since the movie came out, or my writing is taking a clear hit in quality from posting and not editing chapters. Fun fact, I never reread or edit a chapter after I write it. So, I'm going to take more time and care into doing so and get better quality chapters out there.
Please remember to review, it's really the only way I know what y'all are thinking about this story. Thank you to those who have continued to review, you guys are keeping my sanity in check, for sure.
Speaking of Reviews:...
Echo-Wolf: Can I just be perfectly honest and say that I was starting to give up on this fic, having an awful freaking month and all that junk, and then I read your review and it was probably the best reminder as to why I'm writing this. Thank you so much and I hope your Monday and week got better.
Kkdaevevil90: Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing this! And good luck with your Kylo RenxOC fic!
LoveFiction2018: :D Thank you
Bookl0ver1998: Huzzah! Thank you so much!
xXSpades231Xx: We did see Sid again! Ash needed to be completely ripped apart in order to be able to get over her loss and get ready for… what's going down in this chapter… eek.
Kuppcake: Thank you! This next chapter has one of my favorite endings, hopefully y'all like it!
This chapter is called Unravel. And while we saw Ash last chapter fix herself and learn to cope with her loss... she has something much bigger to worry about now.
As promised, new equipment was delivered to the Resistance base on Crait. Compliments of General Hux, to which the Resistance technicians were more than happy to install. There was a serene calm that overtook the base that morning as Hux and Phasma oversaw the installations. A calmness that was destined to be disrupted once the Force Users returned to the base that day.
Poe Dameron and Finn, even with their reservations on the whole matter, couldn't hide the shock that Hux made good on his promise as they watched different tech machines get installed. Poe smiled brightly as he looked at the General and Captain; he patted Hux on the back who just looked more displeased with the friendly gesture as he did. "Not bad, Hux."
"I always keep my promises, pilot." Hux reminded him dryly.
Finn was a little less hesitant to speak to Phasma and Hux as of late; perhaps he was finally learning to trust them? Or rather, he was learning not to despise their existence as much. "We really do appreciate it." He offered. "Maybe we can work together."
Phasma's lips quirked upward ever so slightly at his suggestion. "Are you saying we're friends now, FN-2187?" She was clearly teasing him.
He frowned, smirking. "Not on your life, chrome dome."
The calm serenity that was hanging by a thread immediately dissipated then as the base became increasingly aware of the Falcon returning to the atmosphere. Hux noted their quiet uproar as he sighed, looking to the group. "It appears our favorite troublemakers have returned. Shall we?"
Poe grimaced. "As long as he doesn't throw me across the room again… I think we'll be fine." Hux and Phasma only snickered in reply, which gave little confidence to Poe Dameron. "He's going to throw me across the room again, isn't he?" Finn patted the worried pilot on the back before they made their way to the landing area to greet their friends.
Ash looked at her reconstructed lightsaber as though it were foreign to her. It didn't feel right in her hands. It felt heavier, which made no sense to the girl, the stone was only a few ounces, if that. Her lips formed a thin line as she lingered on it. She hadn't felt any changes since she received the stone. Nothing gave her away that said 'Ashlyn has new abilities'. She didn't even feel differently to Kylo Ren or Rey. She was still Ashlyn, the Grey User, and nothing more.
In the back of her mind, she began to doubt if she could even use the stone. What if she wasn't at that place yet where the stone connected with her? What if she never reached it? It was safe to say that this was yet another unnecessary stress on the poor, exhausted girl.
"How odd." Kylo Ren's baritone voice distracted her as he walked over to the exit ramp. She perked up slightly, looking at him from across the room as he somewhat patiently waited for the ramp to descende. "Hux and Phasma are down here… and no one seems to be second guessing that."
Ash frowned, knowing her husband. "That's a good thing, right?"
"Perhaps the Ascension and Resistance have learned to work together in our absence." Ren suggested as Rey walked into the room, her satchel slung over her shoulder as she adjusted her lightsaber to her belt.
"Maybe we should leave more often then?" She jested, walking over to Ash and placing her arm around her friend's shoulders in the most comforting manner she could muster. She sensed the hesitation within her friend; the doubt that was beginning to form as the trio were still uncertain of what new ability Ash would receive. "Anything yet?"
Ash looked down at her lightsaber again before placing it at her belt in aggravation. "Nothing."
"It will come to you soon." Rey said with hope. "I know it will."
"I'd trust her, Starshine." Ren quipped as the ramp fully descended. "She has a heightened insight now." While not exactly a dig at Rey, it was more of a backwards compliment to make Ash feel better.
Ash sighed, leaning a little more into Rey as she placed her head on her shoulder. Rey just smiled. "Come on, let's go see everyone."
The trio descended the ramp as an awkward shift in the room came. No one was certain if they should be happy to see Kylo Ren or not, yet they knew they should at least be happy seeing Ash and Rey returning safely. It was a very off-balanced reunion to say the least.
Rey couldn't help it as she detached herself from Ashlyn and immediately ran to Finn, hugging him tightly. Ash didn't mind one bit as she smiled at the sight knowingly. She knew exactly what Finn meant to Rey. Something neither one had really expressed yet; it was innocent in a way.
She was pulled from her thoughts when the smiling pilot walked up to her, hugging her tightly with any hesitation in the action. Poe Dameron was worried about her, the last time he saw her she had slowly begun to deteriorate into madness. "Welcome back, First Order."
Ash smiled a little more then as she hugged him back. In the back of her mind praying that Kylo Ren wasn't going to kill him for hugging her. Even though she felt his anger start to rise ever so slightly, she was grateful he didn't do anything stupid. Ash pulled back from Poe, her attention turning to Phasma and Hux as they exchanged knowing smirks. "I'm surprised to see you two greeting us."
"We can't let them have all the fun down here." Phasma mused, rolling her eyes as she sighed at the smiling and eager redhead. "Alright, we can hug." Ash laughed as Phasma leaned down slightly to hug the much shorter girl. "We're happy you're back."
"I'm happy to be back." Ash confirmed as the two women pulled away.
Hux and Ren looked at each other, their expressions saying it all as Hux said. "I'm not hugging you."
"C'mon, Hux." Ren teased dryly. "You know you missed me."
"I thought I did until you spoke." Hux retorted. Poe really began to understand the Hux/Ren dynamic; perhaps their story of the Academy really did check out. "However, I will hug your wife."
Kylo Ren's eyes narrowed. "Watch it, Armitage."
Hux beamed as he ignored Ren's warning and hugged Ashlyn anyway; the girl was not helping the situation as she laughed and hugged him back. "She gives the best hugs." Hux said as the two pulled away.
"Anyway-" Ren interrupted, changing the subject to more pressing matters than hugging. "We need to understand the stones we found. Where is General Organa and Luke Skywalker?"
"Your mother was reaching out to potential allies earlier this morning." Hux explained, not giving in to Ren's demand to ignore the fact that Leia was, in fact, his mother. "As for Luke, he's awaiting you three in the debriefing area." The same courtesy, however, did not apply to Luke Skywalker. At least Hux was obviously aware that Ren didn't despise his mother as much as he despised his uncle. This gesture, of course, did not go unnoticed by Kylo Ren as he merely began to walk towards the debriefing area.
Ash, fumbling slightly at the sudden exit of Kylo Ren, looked to her friends and began to follow. But, not before tapping Rey on the shoulder, who was still very much being entertained by Finn. Another moment taken from them as a higher power called.
Luke was meditating in the debriefing area, one of the only places he could do so in peace, aside from the mines, while wait for the Force Users to return. He felt their presence on base the moment they arrived as he channeled his Force energy. It had been so long since he had done so; he wanted nothing more than to outcast himself and never speak of the Force, the Jedi or what had happened ever again. Then Rey showed up. He needed to guide her, or at least, that's what Yoda pestered him into doing. His very exuberant master that to this day still did not leave him alone.
Kylo Ren stormed in first, as was to be expected in Luke's mind, a scowl on his face as he walked over to a nearby seat and plopped down. "We're here." He mused dryly.
The girls followed in next. "So, I see." Luke returned his tone before smiling somewhat warmly to the girls. "Welcome back. We have so much to cover and no time to do it." He motioned to the remaining chairs. Rey sat first, Ash hesitated a moment but finally decided to sit between Kylo Ren and Rey. "It's come to my attention that Ben has been given a very intense version of Force Rage. A very deep and dark connection full of power and corruption." He looked at his nephew. "I can sense it now as it dwells within you. You must be careful to not be consumed by it." Kylo Ren clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth; his only rebuttal in the matter as Luke turned his attention to Rey next. "Your stone has given you insight at a very heightened rate. You can sense things within the Force at the very instance they are happening. This can be very useful when being attacked or manipulated by the Dark Side. You must learn how to harness this gift."
Rey nodded. "Yes, Master Skywalker."
Ash looked at the unenthused Kylo Ren, then to Rey, then back to Luke. "What about my stone?" She asked.
Luke's expression was unreadable as he thought for a moment; pausing to take in the situation before coming to a simple conclusion. "I don't know."
Ren's brow quirked up. "You don't know?" He repeated.
"I can't sense what powers it holds. The ability is still locked within the stone and within Ashlyn. Until she can learn to harness it, it will remain that way." Luke explained. "You must train; all of you. Learn to work together with your gifts. Perhaps in doing so, you can help Ash learn her gift."
Ash deflated slightly in her chair. "So, I'm useless until we figure it out?"
"I wouldn't say useless-" Luke began.
Kylo Ren visibly stiffened in his chair. "She's not useless."
"She's not." Rey said more in Luke's defense. "She just needs help unlocking her potential."
"He didn't have to say it like that." Ren argued back.
"He's doing the best he can with what he has to work with-" And the two were back at each other's throats. That moment of peace; that failed truce was over.
With an exhausted sigh, Ash stood from her seat. "Unbelievable." She muttered before excusing herself and leaving the room as it fell silent. After Ashlyn left, Luke frowned at his nephew. "You know what I'm going to say, Ben." Kylo Ren rolled his eyes as aggravation took over. "You need to learn to control your own stones before we can even help her. That goes for both of you."
"I'm doing just fine, thank you very much." Ren practically growled.
"Really now?" Luke replied knowingly. "Tell me; how long have you been feeling it? The drastic and devastating pull down into the darkest depths, darker than you had ever imagined?"
His lips formed a tight, thin line as he folded his arms over his chest. "You assume so much of my inabilities and not my capabilities."
"I'm not the one trying to hide."
Ren's brow quirked upwards. "Says the man who ran away to an uncharted planet to get away from his problems."
Rey's attention turned from one man to the other, and back. Her mind putting the pieces together; pieces to a puzzle she wasn't sure he wanted to have. Pieces that began to make sense that the darkness she had been feeling; the pull downward that she had, in her mind, assumed was Snoke, was actually Kylo Ren. The feeling was eerily similar. "How long has this been going on?" She asked, her tone surprisingly patient. Her concern was displaced; she wasn't exactly worried for Kylo Ren, but more so their mission and of course, Ashlyn.
"Nothing is going on." Ren snapped as he stood from his chair. "Except the fact that my wife can't use her stone properly. Instead of pointing fingers at me, how about we figure out a way to solve the problem."
"We can't if you're not balanced either." Luke tried to explain.
"I'M FINE." Ren shouted, his entire being tensing as the surge of darkness pulsated through him. He shut his eyes tightly, his body stiff as he balled his fists. He sensed it. Fear. Fear was growing from within Rey and Luke… and ultimately within himself. A small and troubling part of him that was slowly beginning to be afraid of what he could do. He inhaled sharply, focusing to push out the negative wave of energy as his voice quieted. "I'm fine." He said again. Who was he trying to convince?
Rey stared at him, horrified. Now that she could sense things just a little more clearly, she was ashamed at not having known this struggle pulsating through him beforehand. Sure, she was dealing with a strange and new heightened sense, but Kylo Ren? He was dealing with something much more sinister.
Without another word, Kylo Ren turned and left the debriefing room, leaving Luke Skywalker and Rey alone to take in what had just happened. While their concerns were necessary over the state of Ashlyn; they had another problem coming to light. Kylo Ren had really been the one unravelling all along.
Ash awkwardly stood in the main entrance of the Crait base, watching as new pieces of equipment were being installed, something she wasn't too entirely sure how that whole ordeal came to be. Yet, at least the Ascension and the Resistance were getting along unlike some people she knew. "Ms. Novafall." General Hux addressed the girl as he walked over to her. He had noticed her hanging out and looking, truthfully, a little lost and uncertain.
She continued staring at the new equipment being installed as General Hux stood next to her. "Hux, its Mrs. Solo now."
He smirked, clearly teasing. "Right, how could I forget?" Ash side-eyed him. "I trust your mission went well?"
Hesitantly, although, she knew she shouldn't have done so. Hux was someone who could easily catch any tell-tale sign from a person. It was in their mannerisms, he could tell a lot from a person. "It did."
His brow quirked upward. Damn, she knew what was coming. "I expect Kylo Ren to keep secrets from me, considering it's all he knows how to do. However, I didn't expect it from his wife. What happened?"
Ash frowned in disapproval at his insinuation; the fact that he was comparing her to her husband in such a negative way while also bringing back to light his consistent need to keep secrets from everyone… including her. "We've been getting along so well lately, Hux. Don't ruin it now." Ash retorted with a sigh. "We found our stones." She answered truthfully.
"From what I understand that's a good thing."
"It would be if mine worked." Ash answered; Hux's expression dropped.
"Well, that is quite the problem."
"No kidding." Ash retorted. "It could be a factor of many things. I'm unbalanced with the Force; I'm exhausted, Snoke, stress… I don't know."
Hux's lips pursed ever so slightly. "So, the stone is working, you're just not using it properly?" Ash fully looked at him now. "There are many things to be stressed about, Ashlyn. Trust me. I'm leading a rogue army, I've aligned myself with my enemies whom clearly hate me, oh and your husband is a dick. Stress is only part of the job. However, I've learned to live with it. Maybe you need to learn to live with your stress too."
"I'm trying." Ash explained. "I've learned to let go of a lot of things these past few weeks."
"You do seem-" He tried to find the right term and only found one. "Happier."
She snorted at his reply before nodding back at the new equipment. "So, what's this all about?"
"Are you not happy that I've made friends with the Rebels?"
"No, this was actually a breath of fresh air. I just wasn't expecting it." Ash tried to reason. "Last I heard, Leia didn't want you guys to even come here. Now you're walking amongst them without much alarm on their part."
Hux grinned. "It's because I'm not your husband. I can be civil."
"He can too." She argued as Hux gave her a knowing look. "He just doesn't want to be… ever."
"There we go." He agreed with a chuckle. "Will you both be returning to the destroyer? I'm told we have much better sleeping arrangements than down here. To be fair though, Brass did fall asleep on a table…" Ash made a face, trying to understand what backstory came with that one. "You missed one hell of a Sabacc tournament between the Ascension and Resistance. Well, between my Lieutenant and their pilot."
"Why do you all keep calling him that? He's their Commander, you know?"
"I'm fully aware of his rank, Mrs. Solo. I also am fully aware of what Mr. Solo thinks of him and this is my only attempt to keep some peace in this. Downplaying Commander Dameron keeps Kylo Ren happy."
Ash nodded, getting a better understanding of how Hux worked. "You play his game well, General."
"It's the only way I've survived this long. Once you learn to play the game, even if you'll never win, you at least have a shot of survival."
She exhaled sharply at that notion. "Good to know I'll forever be fighting in some sick and twisted power struggle."
Hux scoffed. "My dear, you're the only piece on the board that even stands a fighting chance against him." She smiled at his sentiment. "I've always said, if anyone could beat Kylo Ren at his game, it would be you."
"Are you done corrupting my wife, Hux?" Kylo Ren asked as he walked over to the ginger and fiery redhead.
The two turned to face him, both snickering ever so slightly. "Corrupting your wife? I'm merely just reminding her how powerful she truly is."
Ash rolled her eyes playfully at the man. "Have you both decided to stop arguing yet?" She was clearly talking about Rey; although, oblivious to the bigger issue at hand.
"To an extent." Ren agreed dryly. "We begin training tomorrow. Skywalker recommends we meditate and clear our heads until then."
"Does this mean I can actually go to sleep in a real bed again?" She asked excitedly.
Kylo Ren chuckled. "Yes, we can return to the destroyer tonight and sleep in a real bed." That was probably the best news she had received that day. After sleeping, or rather barely sleeping, on a twin sized bed in the Falcon for almost two weeks, a real bed sounded wonderful. "We'll take the shuttle now, there are a few things I want to take care of up there anyway. If we hurry we can get on the ship before Hux does and leave him behind." He smirked evilly as he began to walk towards the Ascension transport.
"He wouldn't dare." Hux grumbled.
Ash beamed a she began to follow her husband. "You know he would." Hux swiftly followed after them knowing Ashlyn was disgustingly correct. He would get left behind if Kylo Ren had the opportunity to do so.
Being the wife of the Leader of the Ascension had its perks when Ashlyn really sat and thought about it. Their shared room was bigger and better than anything she had ever slept in before, even Kylo Ren's old apartment on StarKiller. Their new room she barely got to enjoy considering they only spent on night there before flying to Crait. The other perk was the food. She swore either the food was just better on the destroyer or they really went out of their way to please the Leader and his wife. Then again… it was probably out of fear if things were not up to par. Ashlyn decided she was going to change that stigma over her being just as much of a tyrant as her husband.
A mission for another day, however, as she lounged around in her shared apartment with Kylo Ren. A fruit platter on the table in front of her as she reclined on the couch. Okay, maybe she could get used to this. However, she knew more than anything she didn't want to just be the wife of a leader. She wanted to actually do something. That was when the boredom set in.
Ash sighed, noticing it had only been twenty-minutes and the rose colored glasses of being just his wife shattered. She was used to doing something; being useful. So, Ashlyn Solo was going to be useful.
The destroyer was huge; with winding halls that felt like a maze as Ashlyn wandered them. She was slowly beginning to hate the constant stoppage of personnel as they saluted her before carrying on in their business whenever she passed them. How Kylo Ren dealt with it, she'd never know.
That wasn't going to stop her on her mission from finding something to do, however. She knew Kylo Ren was in a meeting, or rather, it was more of a debriefing from Hux, Phasma and Brass over what he missed out on while they were on their own mission. Hopefully, if she disrupted him, he wouldn't be too mad.
She found the room where they were meeting in and stood outside, her stomach beginning to swarm with nerves as to what she was actually allowed to do and not allowed to do. She never had to deal with this kind of thing before. Ashlyn was always a second or third class citizen when it came to ranks, especially on StarKiller. She never needed to go to any meetings or knew exactly where she placed in all that. Did she just walk in? Did she knock? Stars, this was turning more into a thing than she had ever planned for.
'Yes, Starshine?' Oh good, he felt her panicking. Of course, he did.
'Hi.'
She could hear the chuckle in his voice as he replied. 'Hi.'
'Am I allowed in?' The door slid open, answering her question as she peeked into the debrief room, the same room she first sat in when she found out about the Ascension. Kylo Ren was smirking as he sat at the round table with Phasma, Hux, and Brass.
Ash finally walked into the room as the door closed behind her, Brass was beaming when he saw her. "It's the Missus!" He exclaimed. "Good to see you again, love."
"My wife appears to be bored." Ren explained coolly.
"I can guarantee you this is not any better." Phasma complained.
Ash decided to ask, what harm was there in asking for something to do? "I need to keep busy." She explained quickly. "Otherwise I get into all sorts of trouble."
"Brass-" Kylo Ren said, knowing exactly how to curb this need for some sort of action from his wife. "Can you show Ashlyn to the maintenance wing? I'm sure she can entertain herself there."
"I'd be delighted." Brass winked at Ash before jumping up from his seat and walking over to the red head. "Shall we?"
She looked at Kylo Ren, somewhat thankful that he was willing to give her something to do. He was still smirking just as smug as ever as Brass lead Ashlyn out of the debriefing room.
"I'm sorry for taking you from your meeting." Ash said. "You don't need to come with me."
Brass laughed. "Please, I hate meetings. This was such a relief. Besides, now I can get to know you a little better."
She liked Brass, even if they did start off on the wrong foot. Granted, it wasn't his fault. He was just following orders. He wasn't the one hiding a secret army from his wife. She also found it curious how flirtatious Brass naturally was and how that didn't seem to upset Kylo Ren, considering he called her 'love' and all. "I realized, and I'm sorry for not asking sooner, but, I don't actually know what your name is. I assume Brass is not your actual name?"
He grinned. "Nyennis. Lieutenant Nyennis Brass. But, your husband and the gang have been calling me Brass since the Academy. It's stuck since then."
It made sense. None of the Ascension higher-ups seemed to call anyone by their first name, only last. Then Ash realized she didn't actually know Phasma's full name either. That was something she'd have to pester the woman about, considering she had a feeling that was information Phasma did not so willingly give out. "You were at the Academy with them?" Ash asked.
"Yes ma'am." Brass smiled fondly at the memory of what felt so long ago. "I've got a ton of dirt on your husband, so let me know when you want to hear any of it."
Ash smirked. "I'll keep that in mind."
"So, you don't like to sit still, huh?" Brass deduced. "I kind of figured that out when we first met. You're a wildfire. I didn't know that also came with maintenance duties?" Brass asked. "How did that all work out?"
"I've been working on ships, engines, cooling units; you name it, since I was fourteen. Roughly thirteen years now. I've had a knack for it, I guess." Ash explained. "I was hired on StarKiller as freelance, which eventually turned into being head of maintenance after a tragic accident on sight. It was a difficult decision, but I'm glad I stayed."
"Believe me, we all are." Brass informed her. "I was stationed to keep an eye on the Finalizer, but Phasma would keep me in the loop on her visits there. She also kept me up to speed on what Kylo Ren was doing as well as his new apprentice."
"I'm sure that was a scary notion, it came from left field for you guys. I know I wasn't expecting it." Ash laughed.
Brass laughed with her. "I'm glad it happened. The Finalizer is a dull place and nothing made me happier knowing there was a woman who could tame our fearless leader. Stars know that Hux and Phasma couldn't keep him at bay." He grinned mischievously as he looked at Ashlyn. "It was also really interesting finding out just how smitten he was."
Ash blushed. "I doubt he was so obvious like that."
"You really didn't see it?" Brass asked incredulously as Ash shook her head. "He couldn't stop thinking about you. When Phasma found out, she did everything in her power to keep it from public knowledge. She deliberately disobeyed direct orders to even tell Hux what was happening. When he did find out, she begged him to not out you two. Then, it just so happens they needed your help anyway. Guess it all worked out for the better."
Ash bit her lip. "I never knew that."
"Apparently, you also didn't realize just how much you meant to our fearless leader."
"You guys seem to know Kylo Ren a lot better than I do."
"Nah-" Brass cheekily smiled. "We've just known him longer. You get to see a side of Kylo Ren that we never imagined existed." Ash let that sink in for a moment. Sure, Hux, Phasma and Brass all knew Kylo Ren for a very long time, they watched him change and become who he is today. They knew him better than she did. But, Brass was right. She knew him in a way that no one would ever understand or possibly even see. She knew Ben Solo, or rather, what was left of Ben Solo. "Here we are!" Brass exclaimed as the two entered a rather large work area. It was empty at the moment, but there was a ton of gadgets and tools Ash could use. Ash smiled brightly at the sight before her. Even StarKiller didn't have such a collection of tools. "Alright, can you tell me what half this stuff does? I really have no clue."
Ash rolled her eyes as she continued to smile. "Come on, Brass. Let's go over some Maintenance 101."
"Our eyes on the inside of the Finalizer has told us that Snoke and the Supremacy have been moved in formation together." Phasma explained as she pulled up the hologram of the Supremacy.
Ren frowned at the image. "Paranoia?"
"Or they're getting ready to attack." Hux added. "As of yesterday, they've begun building up and preparing their fighters. We can expect them on our doorstep sooner rather than later."
"You think they'll come here?" Kylo Ren asked.
Phasma nodded. "I'm certain of it. Our location is still unknown, but it's only a matter of time."
Ren's lips pursed as he continued to stare intently at the hologram. "Then we need to get ready; same as the Resistance."
Hux leaned forward, looking at Kylo Ren. "Do you want to tell her or shall I?" He gave him an uncertain look, not sure where this was going until he spoke again. "Ashlyn's stone doesn't work."
Phasma's expression was hard; unmoving as she looked at Kylo Ren. "For certain?"
Ren glared. "It works. She just hasn't figured out how to use it yet."
"We are running out of time, Ren. She needs to figure it out sooner rather than later." Phasma said. "The First Order could move any day now and Snoke-"
"I know." Kylo Ren snapped. "I am well aware of the pressure we are under." The room fell silent as the weight of the situation began to horribly sink in. If Ash couldn't do what she was supposed to do, then how the hell was any of this supposed to work? There was no way they could defeat Snoke without the power of all three stones. "This does not get out." His voice dark. "No one is to find out about Ash and the stone. As far as they all should know, there are no problems. Are we clear?" They didn't respond at first. "Are we clear?" He repeated with a much angrier tone.
"Sir." Hux and Phasma responded simultaneously.
Kylo Ren did something he typically did not do, especially in front of others, he showed a sign of weakness. He propped his elbows onto the table, his head resting in his hands as his fingers found his long locks and began to tug gently.
Phasma and Hux exchanged concerned glances, Hux being the first to drop their professional facade before speaking. "Ren?"
"I need to go away for a while." He mumbled bitterly towards the table; the overwhelming sense of dread filling the room over his new revelation began to swarm him as he exhaled. "I have things to sort out before I can go any further with this."
While Hux panicked over the sudden revelation, Phasma took a more nurturing approach. She had seen Kylo Ren fall apart a few times now, the last being over Ashlyn. This was an entirely different beast. "What's wrong?" When he didn't immediately answer, Phasma grew sterner. "Ren, what is wrong?"
He sat up then, no longer using his elbows for support as he looked at the duo before him. "I need to clear my head." That was not comforting in any sense. "I need to adjust to the power the stone is giving me and I need to do it alone. I shouldn't be gone long."
"Ren-" Hux began. "We don't have the time."
"We need to make time." He snapped; inhaling to calm himself down. "If I don't do this, I can't guarantee the safety of everyone else." If he could say anything to make the situation worse, it would have been that. "Keep Ashlyn out of trouble, make sure she trains with Skywalker."
Hux snorted. "Keeping Ashlyn out of trouble is not as easy as you think." He was desperately trying to lighten the mood. Kylo Ren may not have been his best friend, hell, Kylo Ren may not have been his friend… but, Stars, he respected the man. He had followed him this far, the least he could do was try to bring some lighter spirit to all this.
It barely worked as Ren smirked ever so slightly. "Do what you can."
Phasma, still didn't care for this plan. As necessary of a plan it was, at least in Ren's mind, it was still worrisome to her. Was Kylo Ren okay? Or had he finally spun out of control like she had always predicted he would. "Will you be okay?" She asked.
He frowned, abruptly standing from the table and making his way to the door, but not before grumbling angrily. "Everyone keeps asking me that. I'm fine."
"Should you need us-" Phasma began, causing Kylo Ren to stop. He never knew a half-finished sentence could have such weight that would resonate through him. He looked back at the concerned eyes of Phasma and Hux, nodding in understanding at her sentiment before finally leaving the room.
"Okay, let me see if I get this…" Brass began, skeptically, as the two sat at a workstation with parts scattered all over. "My blaster is not working at its optimal potential so… You're enhancing my blaster by doing what now?"
Ash grinned as she unscrewed his blaster; messing with the repeater. "First Order issued blasters have a faulty repeater in them. They don't function as well as they should; they overheat faster which causes them to jam more frequently. It's why most Troopers never use the option."
"And how did you figure this out?"
She shrugged. "When you're living with a bunch of scavengers and pirates, you learn a few things. They used to modify a lot of standard issued weapons from the First Order; Resistance too."
Brass watched in awe as Ashlyn carefully worked on his blaster; tweaking the inner bindings just enough to bypass the failsafe within the repeater. At least someone on this destroyer would have a more efficient weapon. "We should have you fix all our weapons." Brass joked, yet was a little serious.
Ash chuckled. "It would keep me busy. That's for sure."
"I'm sure you have enough to do with all that Force stuff going on." She didn't answer him; instead, she kept her focus on the gun as she removed the cooling gel and replaced it with a newer fill.
The door opened swiftly, revealing the other Force User as he stomped into the maintenance room, clearly annoyed about something. Brass was the only one to look up at him, as Ashlyn was still pretty busy. Kylo Ren's angry expression dropped as he looked from Brass, then to his wife as amusement spread across his face. "What is she doing?"
"Apparently my blaster could be functioning better." Brass replied with a shrug.
He walked around the workbench and sat down next to Brass. The two staring across the table at Ashlyn as she worked. "How?" Although, Ren felt like he probably shouldn't question his wife's maintenance capabilities at this point, all things considered.
Ash sighed, having to explain things over and over again was not exactly something she enjoyed. "When standard issued blasters tries to use the repeater function; they overheat. It's a design flaw. I'm fixing it for Lieutenant Brass."
Brass smirked. "She's good."
Ren hummed in reply as he watched his wife work meticulously on the blaster. She was in her element; focused and relaxed. Something he hadn't seen from her in a while. In fact, it was something she hadn't really been experiencing for the last two weeks. So, Kylo Ren did what any good Force capable husband would do… and tried to get into her head. Okay, that was probably not the best idea. Yet, in her focus, she was too busy to really scold him. Or at least, that's what he thought.
But there it was, the balance. Right now, in this current moment, Ash was perfectly balanced as she tinkered with the blaster. However, even with that balance, Kylo Ren couldn't sense any changes within her. She wasn't radiating any special Force ability; there was no sign above her head flashing saying 'This is it!' or anything of the sort. No, she just felt at peace to him. While relieved that his wife was at least happy, it still left the burning question of how the stone could help Ashlyn.
"And-" Ash began as she sealed the blaster up. "Done!" She beamed as she slid he weapon across the table to Brass, whom gladly snatched it up and began aiming it at random things.
"I need to go try this out." He said, looking at Ashlyn and Kylo Ren, as if asking their permission. Ren just nodded at him, Brass taking that as it time to go and swiftly left the room to play with his new toy.
Ash began to clean up the workbench then, avoiding being the one to start the conversation between her and Ren. "Did you cure your boredom?"
"I did." She smiled slightly as she returned the tools to their place, but not before swiping some extra parts and sticking them in her pockets. Kylo Ren gave her a funny look as she did it. "Don't judge me, I promised a droid on Crait I'd give him some sweet upgrades. Besides, what's yours is mine now, right?" She teased.
"Pretty sure this is actually just you becoming a kleptomaniac."
"Take it up with my husband." She grinned. "He's the Leader of this whole thing, surely you've heard of him."
"Oh no-" He groaned playfully. "Is all this power of being my wife now going to your head?"
Ash thought for a moment, humming as she did. "I learned this power trip from you."
"I'm a bad influence on you." He was, just not in a clear and obvious way. His darkness was slowly becoming hers and Kylo Ren was beginning to realize that as the balance within Ash began to dissipate. He knew something was not right, something inside him was beginning to break and bend. It was shaping itself and forming to his being. Something he drastically ignored and allowed to manifest. Something that meshed with the anger and hatred he had always had. It was killing him, it was killing the last of Ben Solo, and stars, it was going to kill Ashlyn too if he didn't do something about it. He had a plan. Not a solution, but a plan. "I need to go away for a while."
Ash nearly dropped the parts in her hands, fumbling awkwardly as she tried to regain her grasp on them. "What? Why?" He didn't speak as Ash walked back over to the workbench, dropping the spare parts on the table as she looked at him. "We have to train and learn how to use the stones and-" She paused; feeling it. She felt it. She felt the dread and fear that was lingering in his eyes. Something she felt awful for having missed in the first place. "It's the stone, isn't it? It's becoming too much."
His golden-brown orbs stared at the mess of parts that Ashlyn had dropped on the table. "I need to control it before it controls me."
She slowly began to nod; trying to make sense of it all. She needed him, they all did. But, at what cost to his sanity? Time was running out, but did that matter if Kylo Ren couldn't keep the darkness at bay? "Where will you go?"
"I'm not sure." Before she could ask; he answered. "I won't be long."
She forced a small smile on her lips, she had to be supportive of this, she knew she did. But, in typical Ash fashion, when something upset her, she tried to deflect from it. "You owe me one good night's sleep, Ben Solo." She teased softly. "We've yet to have one since our wedding."
His small smile matched hers as his eyes trailed back up to the comforting, green ones opposite him. "When this is over, we're going to spend a week in bed."
Ash sat down across from him again, her hands reaching across the table for his; her smaller hands resting on top of his larger ones. "When do you leave?" His deafening silence gave away so much and so little. Ash was becoming a pro at decoding them. "You're leaving now."
"Think of it this way, the sooner I go, the sooner I come back."
She squeezed his hand gently. "And I'll be here when you do."
"Train with them tomorrow; work with Luke. He's the worst person but-" It almost pained him to say it. "He knows what he's talking about."
Ash's smile widened. "That might be the nicest thing you've said about your uncle."
"Don't push it." He frowned with a smug smirk on his lips. He removed himself from his seat, rounding the workbench and kissing Ashlyn on the top of her head. "Get some rest, Starshine."
"Be safe." She was answered with silence as Kylo Ren left the room without another word to share with her. Instead, he preferred it this way. It wasn't a 'goodbye'; it didn't feel like he was leaving forever. He wasn't. At least, he hoped he wasn't.
He didn't care that Phasma and Hux didn't understand the situation, and believed that this was against their best interest. They knew nothing about the power that was threatening to break through Kylo Ren. It was better that way; the duo were already skeptical of his leadership skills. The last thing they needed was any reasonable doubt that their fears were warranted by any means. Kylo Ren would never give such satisfaction to anyone.
He took an unmarked single pilot starship. Something not so easily traced, but could also get him in and out of a sticky situation should it arise. It didn't take long for his thoughts to wander; piloting a starship was something he truly never believed was in the stars for him. Or rather, it was something they didn't give him the opportunity to explore.
Ben Solo wanted to be a pilot, like his father. Even though the man was absent for a lot of his childhood, he'd be lying if he said he didn't at least look up to him. At lot of that changed; drastically and so suddenly. He never got the opportunity to learn as much as he wanted from Han. Sure, they had gone on adventures with the Wookie, but he needed more; craved more. He was a child, for crying out loud. He needed his father.
Even though he'd never say it out loud, she wasn't innocent in all this either. He had heard them. His parents tried to keep it a secret, but he was a curious young boy back then. He listened to their quiet and private concerns. They were scared of him. Hell, he was scared of himself. He had raw and unlimited power even at such a young age, it was a lot to take in. What made it worse though was hearing that from his parents and knowing they feared him. It only validated his own doubts that maybe he truly was a monster.
They sent him to Luke without any debate or second thought. He was suddenly shipped across the galaxy to learn how to fix what was indubitably broken. He wasn't broken. He was just different. He was darkness; he was always destined for darkness. However, what no one told him then was that even if he was destined for the dark side; that didn't mean he was going to be an awful person. There was still good within Ben Solo. He was still good.
Luke Skywalker was just as afraid of him as his mother and father were. And even when the whispers from a creature across the galaxy began; Ben Solo had needed help more than ever. Help that his family was too scared to give. Luke Skywalker tried to end it there; he saw what Ben was capable of; no, what Kylo Ren was capable of. He just couldn't bring himself do it. He couldn't go through with killing the then seventeen-year-old. That was when everything fell apart and instead of embracing the darkness within Ben Solo and helping him adapt to it; Luke Skywalker had pushed him away and to the evil that he tried to smother. Luke Skywalker helped create Kylo Ren. They all did.
All wasn't lost for the young boy. Even as he took on the Kylo Ren persona, Ben Solo still existed. Yet, the angrier he became and more hateful he grew, the remains of Ben disappeared more and more. Sure, parts of that person was still there, even when he became friends with three unlikely people at the Academy. They kept him as grounded as possible.
Years after he destroyed the Jedi Academy under Luke Skywalker; much after he finished his training to become who he was, Ben Solo didn't die. In fact, his ideas were still there within that dormant part of Kylo Ren. While corrupted by Ren, it was still a sense of good; a corrupted good, where he realized just how evil Supreme Leader Snoke was. The creature and voice that reached to him through the darkness so many years earlier. Yet, he would be lying if he said his reasons for taking down Snoke were purely for the greater good. Kylo Ren was an agent of chaos. He liked watching regimes fall. He wanted that power too.
Even through all his planning to end Snoke; even when bringing on Hux, Phasma and Brass to his plan, he was Kylo Ren. The man who killed his father just so he could sink further into the darkness. It was the only way to beat Snoke. He knew that, and somehow, so did Han. And even though it destroyed Ben Solo in a way, even after all the awful things that had happened from his childhood, he still regretted it in some capacity.
But, Kylo Ren was cunning, he was smug, and he was dangerous. While others saw him as ruthless and a murderer, only certain people knew why he did the things he did. He knew he was sinking into darkness, he knew there was no coming back; so he took it upon himself to take the responsibility of killing and dominating his way to victory. As awful as he was; the man was still caring in some facet. That was the tiny piece of Ben Solo coming through.
Then she came. The unexpected wildcard that shattered every piece of his newly built walls and reconstructed them into something better. The red-haired girl who mirrored his soul. The girl who saw right through him, battled the monster and didn't flinch at what he was. She wasn't blinded by the Kylo Ren persona. She, even from the beginning, always saw Ben Solo.
And by the stars, was he crazy about her. Even from the beginning, even when he was so convinced he hated her, she brought him to his knees. No matter how hard he tried to deny it and push her away; even that brief time where he tried to get her killed… she never went away. She was always there in his head, in his heart… everywhere. While she couldn't sense it just yet, he did. She was his person. His counterpart to help push back the monster he became. Ben Solo could live, but only when she was there to guide him.
But that was the problem. She wasn't there as the ship landed on Maridun; covered in the darkness of night as he stomped towards the abandoned hut. The same hut they had met in so many times, the place he took her on their first training mission. Stars, the damn hut looked exactly how they left it. Yet, there was no warmth here. There was no warmth because she wasn't there to bring that certain feeling that tamed Kylo Ren and brought Ben solo back.
The red lightsaber fizzled and hissed as it ignited the room with the fiery glow. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo couldn't exist together. He hadn't perfected that balance, he didn't need to. He wasn't Ash; he could live in chaos and feed from its disastrous flame in all it's fiery glory. The stone only extended that need; that lust for carnage and power. A desire to take what was his and leave nothing standing in his wake.
The room was destroyed within mere minutes as debris flew from shattered furniture that barely stood a chance against his defective lightsaber. Humming and whizzing with a lawless delight, he destroyed everything around him. The darkness was winning as it extended through every nerve and every fiber of his soul. His eyes turning to the darkened pools of empty blackness as he laid destruction only to stop when the book caught his eye.
His chest rising and falling rapidly, his breathing trying to catch up to the energy he just exerted. He retracted the lightsword, his eyes adjusting to the darkened room lit by only the bright moon of Maridun. Crouching down, his fingers grazed over the book. His book. The book of planets that his wife was so fond of. Slowly, as though it were a snake that would bite him had he moved too quickly, he opened the cover. 'Property of Ben Solo'.
Was Ben Solo truly gone? Maybe. At least, he wished he was. It would make this fight much easier if he didn't have that one thing pulling him back. But, no. Ben Solo couldn't die as long as Ashlyn existed. No matter how hard Kylo Ren wanted to bring Ash to the dark side with him; it wouldn't matter. Ben Solo would still be gnawing at the back of his mind because Ben Solo wanted to live. The two parts of him wanting to be in control, they wanted to be with Ashlyn in their own way, they wanted to exist. They just couldn't coexist. At least, they couldn't coexist when both sides didn't want to.
He felt it then; that tug of uncertainty that always came when she was around. That middle ground he was almost jealous that she could exist in and he couldn't. The corner of his lips turned upward ever so slightly. "You're projecting again."
"I'm sleeping." She admitted sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to be alone. I can try to wake myself up."
"Don't." He said softly; hating the fact that he needed her. That he wasn't strong enough to do this without her.
"I think I could feel you-" She began. "Or maybe you were unintentionally reaching out to me. But… I just-" She watched him stand up, turning to face her. His eyes were dark still, but she wasn't afraid. "Are you okay?" He didn't answer. "Ben?"
"You still deliberately call me that even when I've told you not to." He said; slightly annoyed. He didn't want Ben Solo to exist right now. Ben Solo wasn't going to save anyone in this state.
"I do it because it's the only time you ever let me in; you show me exactly what you're feeling." He glared at her; mostly because she was right. He gave away so much, but only for her. If she truly knew the power she had over him. She changed the subject as her eyes skimmed over the destroyed hut; frowning in disapproval. "We're going to have to clean this up." His brow quirked upward at her statement. "I had a vision we lived here after all of this was over. If we are, we're going to-"
"You know we're not going to live here." He snapped; stars, the darkness made things even more awful than he intended. There it was, Ben Solo, coming through. Knowing he had done something wrong and wanting nothing more than to comfort the girl in front of him. His weakness; the girl that brought him to his knees and humbled him. "I don't think I know what's me anymore." A curious sentence, but, Ash seemed to understand it. If she didn't, she didn't show as much. "Kylo Ren; Ben Solo… whatever this stone is doing to me. I don't know anymore." Frustratedly, he sat down on the hard floor, chucking his lightsaber across the room as his knees pulled to his chest. He rested his arms on the top of his knees and put his head down; trying to be as small as possible. Maybe it would help, even just a little.
No, what helped was the absent, but also very light tingling sensation on his arm. It was like butterflies swarming to one area; barely kissing his arm as the sensation fluttered under his skin. "You're my husband." Her voice soft; closer now. "You're Ben Solo, but you're also Kylo Ren. They're one in the same. The stone won't change that."
He lifted his head, peering at his wife as she rested her head against his arm. Her projection was sitting next to him, comforting as best as anyone who wasn't actually there could. "Whatever I choose to be-" He began. "Will you still be by my side?"
It was Ash's turn to lift her head then, she looked at him contemplatively. She tried to read his expression, but now he was shutting her out. Her lips parted ever so slightly, her breath caught in her throat as she nodded. "Yeah." She finally said. "I'm by your side for whatever." It was like she knew. He could sense that some part of her understood what she was agreeing to, but a need to continue a blissful ignorance was preventing her from saying it out loud. If she did, it would make it real. She was sealing her fate as an uncertainty as to what she was really settling in for lingered in the air.
"And if I continue to be a monster-"
"You're not a monster-" She tried to interrupt him as he glowered.
"I am." He practically sneered. "I am and I always will be. And when I become just like him and repeat the same path of destruction he caused. Who is going to stop me?"
She sat up, the sudden loss of contact felt the most devastating to Ren as he kept his glare, not showing how it affected him. "Ben, you're not going to be like him."
"Don't you fucking get it? I'm exactly like him!" He yelled now; snapped even. Ash sat back with force, feeling the radiating anger and rage from him. He was daring her; daring her to say something back. Give him a reason to continue down this spiral, this wormhole of self-destruction he wanted to hide in.
She didn't give him the satisfaction he was craving. Instead, she placed her hand on his knee and whispered. "I'll see you when you get back." Her disappearance left a heavier mark on him than he could have ever anticipated. He was wounded; weakened. He was lashing out at everything, nothing made sense anymore. Ben Solo was slowly fading away as Kylo Ren unraveled.
Final Thought: Well... that's not good. Remember to review and see y'all next chapter!