Chapter 21: Diplomatic Disaster
"So," she says, feeling unbearably awkward.
Loki has not spoken a word since he fell apart in her arms in his bedroom on Asgard. Not when Sif and the Warriors Three escorted them to the bridge, demanding answers and generally disapproving of his lack of chains. Not when Thor used the power source from Loki's scepter to blast them back to New Mexico. Not when she rushed him to her jeep pasted an extremely shocked Darcy and drove him to her home.
"This is it," Ellie continues, gesturing to her small home.
Loki looks around the cottage and she is brought right back to the night they met. He regarded her shit hole apartment with a similar look of disgust. It did not irritate her then because that apartment was foul, but this cottage is the first real home she's managed to build for herself in nine years.
The way he looks around as if the whole situation is beneath him makes her want to smack far to beautiful face.
But he's been tortured and his mind is a scary place and she'll never hit him like that. Not ever.
Ellie is somewhat stunned to realize it was just over a year ago that he abducted her.
"Living room," she mutters, turning in a circle. Instead of watching him she looks at the worn leather couch and walls lined with shelves of books. She takes in the perfect balance of organized chaos. "Kitchen," she says, pointing to the open area beyond the breakfast bar.
Steve put in that breakfast bar. Tony pays her an obscene amount of money so she can afford just a nice, albeit small, place.
Damn, they are going to be pissed when they hear about this stunt. She doesn't even want to think about Fury's reaction. She is not ready to deal with her friends and employers yet. When she thinks of them, of what her actions will mean for them, Eleanor is swamped with guilt.
Her inability to focus on anything outside Loki is the reason she dragged him out of the lab moment they touched down. She glimpsed Darcy's shocked face through the window and ignored Thor's protests and got Loki in the jeep as quick as possible.
"That's my bedroom," she mutters, nodding to a closed door next to the kitchen. The room just fits her bed and she barely managed to shove her dresser in the closet. The space was obviously designed to be more of an office than a master bedroom, but she has her priorities. The larger bedroom is stuffed full of her many instruments.
"I haven't really… um… thought this through," she confesses, blushing as she avoids his eyes.
Loki snorts at her the understatement of the century.
"You can sleep there," she continues. "Or on the couch. I have a cot I can set up in the music room. Steve sleeps there some—"
"Steve?" he spits out. She jumps slightly, shocked to hear his voice.
"Yeah, Captain American," she reminds him. It's been months since they been alone and Ellie wonders just what he remembers. "The man out of time. The residence wing of the compound is too modern for him so he usually crashes here when he's in town."
Fuck, she is stupid, bringing up Steve like that, but she's nervous and his silence is making her babble.
"I guess you're going to be here for awhile," she says, absently braiding a strand of hair as she glances around, as if the answers are hidden somewhere in her living room. "You can have the music room. I can put in a bed and get rid of the piano."
Loki moves to the door at the far side of the room so quickly it makes Ellie jump. She jumps again when he slams open the door, scowling into the depths of the music room as he loiters at the threshold.
She gives him time, well aware of the fact that she's essentially brought home a skittish animal. He's spent so much time alone in a cell, trapped with nothing but her voice.
He is incredibly unstable, despite this new mystical control she apparently has over him, so instead of rushing over to wrap him up in her arms, Ellie stays put, watching from across the room.
After a few minutes of strained silence during which Ellie adds four braids to her hair, Loki shoots her a questioning look over his shoulder.
Ellie clears her throat.
She is used to being the silent one who communicates in looks. Maybe he doesn't quite remember that he once again has the ability to communicate verbally now that the stitches are out.
"I badgered SHIELD into giving me a lot of the stuff they confiscated from the bunker. I got the instruments and the Midgardian books, but not the rest," she explains.
"And your wardrobe," he murmurs.
"Yes. It can be your room," she repeats, cautiously approaching him.
He shakes his head violently. Ellie wants to figure out a way to make it clear that he is welcome to sleep with her, but she doesn't want to assume. This arrangement is complicated enough without bringing him to bed, but Ellie doesn't bother pretending that she wouldn't welcome him with open arms.
"Okay," she murmurs. "Why don't you go lie down? Take the bed."
He fixes her with a stare that she has no hope of decoding. She shuffles under his gaze until he finally wanders over to the couch. When she understands his intention, she blocks his path. The death glare he gives her is one she's quite familiar with, but it never scared her. Not really.
"Thor told me where they've kept you," she whispers. "He told me… how you stayed under the bed. You've been sleeping on the floor for a long time. Take my bed."
Once more, he shakes his head violently.
"I insist. Take it. I think I can manage to shove a twin bed in the music room and that can just be my room from now on."
More head shaking from Loki.
Ellie huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to convey just how serious she is about him taking the bed.
Loki ignores her posturing and steps around her with ease. She tries to protest again, but he simply lies down on the couch, turning away form her.
"Do you want to wear something more comfortable?" she asks with a sigh, realizing that in the chaos of their departure no one thought to pack Loki a bag. "Or you could shower."
He doesn't move.
"Fine," she snaps, stomping off the bathroom. She grabs him a towel and then snags a huge pair of sweats Steve left here on his last visit. Both items are dumped on the floor by his head. "There is soap and shampoo and everything in there. H stands for hot and C stands for cold."
She was hoping to annoy a response from him with this statement of the obvious but he stays frustratingly still.
Ellie retreats to her room, not knowing what to do with herself now that Loki is really, truly here. Despite all the alone time that's been forced upon him lately, Loki very obviously does not want to be anywhere near her.
She tries not to let it hurt.
Ellie sits on her bed, staring at her book but not reading anything. Twenty minutes later she hears the sound of the shower coming on. The simple noise is a relief.
He stays in there for a very long time as Ellie tries not to picture the streams of water cascading down the pale planes of his chest.
Eventually the shower turns off and Ellie can hear Loki as he moves to the living room. She gives him a few minutes in case he is getting dressed before opening her own door, determined to force him to take the bed.
She stops suddenly when she see him laid out on the couch, curled on his side but facing her this time. He wears the sweatpants and for once he actually looks peaceful. He almost looks content.
Ellie smiles softly and covers him with a blanket.
When she goes to bed she leaves her bedroom door open. She sleeps sideways so she can see him until her eyes flutter closed.
Cool arms around her waist wake her and she fights the urge to open her eyes, pretending to sleep as he settles in behind her.
The situation is entirely fucked up. Try as she might, the tethers pulling her towards this troubled god seem impossible to sever, but it's not just her. Loki crawling in to bed with her like this proves that it's not just her. It's him too. This is not a one sided connection and neither of them are particularly good at fighting their bond.
And she went and made the bond magical, made it physical. He is calm behind her. She can feel his even breaths as if they are in her own chest. According to the Allfather, this will fade. This awareness will not last forever but the bond will remain even after the feeling goes.
Loki slips his hand under the fabric of her t-shirt, spreading his fingers over the skin of her stomach. Ellie waits a few minutes before moving to hold the hand.
The sleep is divine.
For once she's able to shut her brain off and really, truly sleep.
Since leaving Stark Tower, Loki's wellbeing was constantly in the back of her brain. Thinking about him became like a nervous tick, something she couldn't eradicate no matter how hard she tried.
But with Loki's long frame wrapped around her own, it's all quiet now.
Until it's not.
She startles awake with the unpleasant realization that Loki is her responsibility now. He might be here and safe and not alone, but ultimately Ellie is responsible. Adequately punishing him, preventing him from hurting anyone else, helping him heal – it's all on her.
Ellie can't breathe.
Loki is all around her, his body curled around her back and thoughts of him in ever corner of her mind, and Eleanor can't breathe.
By some miracle she maintains a shaky calm as she carefully separates from the god in her bed and quietly crawls out of bed. On the way out of the room she grabs her cell phone and shuts the door behind her, making as little noise as possible.
The phone is ringing as Ellie stumbles around the living room. It is too dark. The room is too hot and too small, but she's magically connected to the sleeping, sick god in the other room and she didn't think to ask his father how much distance is allowed between them.
But the phone is still ringing and Ellie can't catch her breath so she risks opening the front door to crouch on the stoop. The phone goes to voice mail and she dials again. Her limbs get twitchy so she gets up to pace.
Between the panic and the pacing, she might as well be Loki.
Is that part of the deal? Is this magic going to change her? Make her like him? Surely, that would have been part of Odin's disclaimer.
Fuck, how the fuck is she going to do this?
The phone rings and rings while Eleanor paces around on her small front patio. She wants to go further, but doesn't. She assumes that there is some maximum distance allowed between them, but now – as she is placing a panicked phone call – is not the time to test it.
"'Ello?" Jane's answer is garbled and sleepy.
"Jane?" Ellie squeaks. She doesn't have the words for this, just strangled breaths and racing thoughts.
"What? Jane says, fully alert now. There is a rustle of sheet and Ellie can picture her boss sitting up in bed. "What happened? Are you all right? What did he do?"
"Jane." Yup, that's all she's got at the moment.
"Thor!" Ellie winces, pulling the phone from her ear at the screeching. "Thor, wake up. It's Ellie."
"Jane! He's asleep," she says, talking about her god, not Jane's god. Thanks to Eleanor, Jane's god is now up and bellowing incomprehensibly on the other end of the phone. "He didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I'm just.. this is all kinda hitting me right in this moment."
"Lady Eleanor?" Thor booms.
"Hush," Jane says. "She's finally freaking out."
"Freaking out?" asks Thor.
Jane sighs. "I'll explain in the morning. Go back to sleep."
There are a few more whispered words and the sounds of Jane moving, a door closing. Ellie continues to silently "freak out."
"Okay," Jane says, talking at a normal volume now. "What's going on?"
"What did I do, Jane?" Ellie murmurs, collapsing down on her front stoop.
"You do realize that this is an extremely delayed reaction, right?" Jane says, yawning.
"What did I do?" she repeats. Her hands won't stop shaking and it's difficult to hold the phone to her ear. "When I fell asleep I was so steady and sure about this but then I woke up and he was right there! I was so focused on getting him out of a hundred fucking years of fucking solitude that I didn't think this through."
Jane snorts. "That's a rather mild assessment."
"This is insane!" she says, putting her head between her knees. "What was I thinking. I don't know how to help him. I've very obviously seen too many bad-boy meets good-girl and falls for her and it changes him type movies. It's a ridiculous literary trope. I've turned myself into a ridiculous literary trope."
"You see yourself as the good girl?"
The snarky question somehow makes breathing a little easier. Ellie even almost laughs.
"No," she says with a slight chuckle. "I nearly as big of a mess, just less murderous and power hungry. It's like the blind leading the blinds over here."
"You were a mess," Jane corrects. "So lead by example."
"No one can save anyone," Ellie says. "You can't save anyone who doesn't want to save themselves."
"That's true," agrees the astrophysicist. "But you can give him a change, give him the proper environment for healing to be a possibility."
For a few beats Ellie is calm but she thinks about going back inside to her occupied bed and the panic stirs up all over again.
"He's here. With me!" she squeaks. "What am I supposed to do with him now?" Ellie needs to get this out, even if Jane isn't totally necessary to this conversation and it's after four AM. "What kind of pathetic person goes to a different realm and forces a criinal god to come home with her?" Ellie asks.
"Hey, that's not fair," Jane says. "Your heart is in the right place here."
"Stop," Ellie replies. "Don't defend me. I'm no better than he is. This is just what he did to me last year. I've kidnapped him and taken away his choice and exerted my control over him. I'm as bad as he is. What is wrong with me?"
You are not like him and this is hardly kidnapping. The whole thing is crazy, but even Loki's got to see that you did this because you love him."
Ellie's heart stops and she drops the phone. When she manages to pick it up with shaking hands, she has still not recovered from her shock.
"I, um, no. That's not a thing that I do. Uh, shit. No. Yeah. I don't do that. I can't do that. I don't do those kinds of feelings things. Fuck."
"Eleanor—"
"Just don't give me anything else to freak out about!" she manages.
"Okay," Jane agrees. "Look, this is a bit of a mess, but there is not much you can do. You don't want to be like him? Fine. Then don't. Keep your promise and don't use that freaky power over him. Let him recover. Talk to him. Be careful and give him the choice. If he wants to go back, to serve his time alone, you let him."
Ellie doesn't like that at all.
"I'm seriously, Ellie. Give him the choice. You let him."
"I let him," she repeats.
"What else can you do?" Jane asks. "Unless you want to change your mind? It's okay if you send him back."
"He's not a puppy I picked up at the pound on a whim!" Although whim is an unfortunately accurate term for it.
"Yeah, I know. But this doesn't have to be your life if you don't want it to be."
"I chose him, Jane."
"And now you've got to let him choose too."
Eleanor is silent and her heart rate slows.
"Better?" Jane asks.
"Yeah."
"Just, be careful, Eleanor."
"I will. I'm sorry I called you so early. Or late. Or whatever," Ellie says, suddenly embarrassed by her "freak out."
"Hey, I meant it when I said call anytime."
Ellie gets to her feat, leaning against her railing to keep herself upright.
"Go back to your god," Ellie mutters. "I'll get back to mine."
"Okay," Jane says with a chuckle. "We're here for you. You've got people."
Loki is still and sleeping when she returns, just as she left him. She crawls in next to him and it only takes Loki a few seconds to reach out for her.
The unconscious gesture makes Eleanor feel better, but only slightly.
The next time she opens her eyes, she is mostly calm. The situation doesn't seem quite so dire, but Ellie cannot deny she is overwhelmed.
She covets the peace of the morning and lets herself enjoy his solidness behind her.
In the night his hand migrated from her stomach to rest curled against the mattress right in front of her face. She plays with his fingers, admiring his hands. They are so beautiful and elegant.
His breathing changes and his heart rate picks up. She tenses slightly, anticipating his coldness and his quick departure, but he just pushes his lips into the skin at the back of her neck before settling again.
Ellie smiles softly when it becomes apparent that Loki remains sleeping, but then a loud knock from the front door threatens to wake him up. Even after a good solid chunk of sleep, Loki looks so exhausted.
And she has a pretty good idea of who is at the door, definitely not anyone that Loki is keen to see.
As carefully as possible, Ellie moves away from Loki. She crawls off the end of the bed, cursing her self as she trips, her feet thudding as she regains her balance. The knocking gets louder and Ellie grabs a pair of tights off the floor before carefully closing the door behind her.
She is totally unsurprised to see Tony Stark's stupid head bobbing around beyond her front door. He reaches up to knock again before Ellie can manage to pull on the tights, so she yanks open the door while still wearing no pants.
"Oh, this is just perfect," he grumbles, shaking his head as he stares down at her as she fumbles with her tights. "Looking good, Britney."
"Shut up," she mutters, finally fully clothed. "Nothing happened."
"That is not what I hear," he says, continuing to scowl. Ellie can't recall Tony looking this serious ever before. "Word on the street is you came home from Asgard with a new pet."
Ellie glances over her shoulder at her closed bedroom door, hoping that Loki sleeps on. He would really freak out about being referred to as a pet.
She really can't handle any more freak outs at this point.
"Word on the street is you threatened a terrorist," she shoots back, going on the defensive. "I'm not sure you are in any position to question my decisions."
"That worked out in the end," he says, waving a dismissive hand around his head. "And we're not talking about me. Where's lover boy?"
"It's not like that," she insists.
"Then what is it like?" asks a new voice that decidedly does not belong to Tony Stark.
Ellie sticks her head out of the door to see Captain America himself lingering off to the side of the doorframe. His hair is as perfectly combed as usual. The brown leather bomber jacket is equally as familiar and Ellie lights up at the sight of him.
Pulling the front door shut behind her, she moves to give Steve a friendly hug.
"I thought you were in London?" Ellie asks when she releases him. Steve studies the ground, obviously uncomfortable.
"We were both in Europe when we got a very interesting phone call," Tony says, peaking through the windows on her front door. "Less than an hour later we were on my jet, crossing the ocean."
"Did Darcy rat me out?"
"Did you really think we wouldn't find out?" demands Tony, actually stomping his foot as he pouts at her.
"I thought I might get a day of peace," she mutters. "Thanks for pounding on my door so early, asshole. Some people need to sleep."
"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," mutters Steve.
"Late night?" Tony asks.
"It's not like that," she insists again.
"And we're back to the fucking beginning," says Tony, dramatically flourishing his hands. "So tell us, Miss Tate. What is it like?"
"Hey, Tony, I am glad you're not dead." She is totally genuine now because those few days when the world thought Iron Man was gone were awful. "Really. It's good to see you in one piece. Try to be a bit more careful, next time."
"I saved the world, Madonna," he says, grinning. "Again."
"Can we focus here please," says Steve with a sigh.
"Right," Tony mutters. "And we're back t the fucking beginning. So tell us, Miss Tate. What is it like?"
Shit, there is no distracting them.
Ellie bounces on the balls of her feet, feeling horribly uncomfortable as the pair of superheroes scrutinizes her. These two men have done so much for her and bringing Loki back into their lives feels like a betrayal.
It is a betrayal.
The silence gets unbearable as the two just look at her until she cracks.
"They sentenced him to a century of solitary confinement, okay!" she bursts out. Both men groan and Tony Stark paces around in her front yard, hands folded over the back of his head. "That is a hundred years all alone!"
"Did you ever stop to think that he might possibly deserve it?" asks Steve. Ellie is somewhat shocked to see him so angry. "Do you remember what he did to New York last August? Do remember him kidnapping you, Eleanor? He, he…" Steve turns absolutely fuchsia. "Raped you."
These last words are whispered. They have Tony moving back to better hear.
Ellie just silently gapes at him, her mouth moving like a fish, for a long moment before she finally finds the words.
"No!" she shouts as the men stare at her in horror. Ellie glances over her shoulder, peaking through the windows to see her closed bedroom door. "That is not what happened. Is that what everyone at SHIELD thinks happened?" she squeaks.
"No one gets it at all to be honest, Elle," Tony says, his tones soothing now. "There were the bruises on your neck but also that whole bit with Hawkeye and the French toast."
"He put some sort of spell over you," Steve decides. "That's it. That's the only explanation for your behavior."
Ellie scowls up at the chiseled blond.
"No, that is most definitely not it. He lost his magic after Dr. Banner beat the shit out of him. And now I don't think he is mentally strong enough right now to magic anything. He couldn't even change his clothes."
There is silence for a moment as the men digest this information. Tony has a dreamy look on his face, as if he is fondly imagining Loki getting tossed around. Ellie doesn't like it.
"He deserves to be punished," Steve insists. "And he's from a different planet. What happens to him is an Asgardian matter. None of our concern any longer."
Ellie rolls her eyes.
"Of course he deserves to be punished," she says. "But he also deserves a shot at getting better. He's sick, okay? You might not get mental illness, but I do and a century of solitary confinement won't do anything but make him more insane and therefore more dangerous."
Tony and Steve just blink at her.
"Wow, that actually kinda makes sense," Tony begrudgingly admits. "You should really play up the whole more dangerous angle when you meet with Fury."
"I have to meet with Fury?" asks Ellie, wincing slightly.
"No shit," says Tony. "You zapped back down to Earth with public enemy number one. You are fucking meeting with Fury."
"He won't hurt anyone," she murmurs.
"Of course he will," Steve says. "Hurting people is what guys like Loki do. And you'll be the one to end up dead, Eleanor."
Shaking her head at Captain America, Ellie crosses her arms over her chest to properly scowl at him. He doesn't trust her and that stings.
"I'm not a total idiot, you know. He's hurt a lot of people, myself included. I remember that better than you two clowns. It's not going to happen again," she insists.
This time it's Steve who feels the need to walk it off around her front yard.
"Are you hearing how naive you sound?" Tony asks. "'He won't hurt me again.' That is like the catch phrase of abused women everywhere who don't have a way out. But you do, Ellie. You have us. Fucking won't hurt you again. What the fuck?"
Again, Ellie rolls her eyes.
"No, Iron Ass," she snaps. "I mean he is physically incapable of hurting me. I forbid him from hurting me or anyone else."
"You forbid it?"
"Yeah," she says, ignoring the way Tony is eyeing her. "It's how I got him out of a hundred years of solitude. They have this crazy old law in Asgard that someone can step up and take responsibility for the punishment and rehabilitation of the accused. They have some weird Old Norse word for it, but it's a bit like a mentor."
"You are his mentor?"
"This is not a conversation," Ellie says with a sigh. "You just repeating everything I say is not going to get us anywhere."
"You are his mentor?"
"Okay, so maybe mentor isn't the right word. Thor says there isn't really an equivalent in English."
"Try to explain," Tony requests, sounding a bit like he is choking. He actually tugs on the collar of his neatly pressed shirt.
"Odin worked some voodoo so now Loki is physically bound to obey my commands," she says, feeling completely ridiculous.
Tony smirks at her. "Kinky."
"It's not like that!" she squeaks.
"This could be really gloriously fun, you know," Tony says, stroking his goatee like an evil mastermind.
"No," she says. "No way. No. I've only given him one weird, mystical command and it kind of burns. I told him he can't hurt or maim or kill anyone and I'm not going to give him anymore. This is like his greatest fear, you know."
"Oh, it's ever so delicious," Tony says, continuing to snicker. "After what he did to Selvig and Clint. After what he tried to do to you! Oh. this is perfect. Just think of the glorious, glorious humiliation."
"You're an asshole," declares Ellie, glaring daggers at her employer.
"Let's command him to be a ballerina," Tony says, actually bouncing in his excitement. "He'll look great in pink."
"Stop screwing around, Stark," snaps Steve, stalking back to Ellie's front stoop. "Our only concern right now needs to be Ellie's safety and the safety of the public at large."
"Lighten up, Cap. You really—"
"Eleanor!" The muffled shout from inside the house stops the fight brewing between the superheroes before it can really even kick off.
"Excuse me," Ellie murmurs, slipping inside and shutting the door in the faces of two sixths of the Avengers.
He's standing in the doorway of her room, looking adorably rumpled but also painfully confused.
"Loki," she says, locking her knees to keep herself from rushing over to him. "I'm here."
He reaches for her and that's all the motivation she needs to cross the bit of distance between them. Loki wraps one arm around her shoulders and leans heavily on the doorframe to her bedroom for support.
"Where am I?" he asks into her hair.
"You are back on Midgard with me," she explains, hoping he doesn't completely lose it. "You are here in my home in New Mexico."
He nods and holds her a little closer.
"You're okay. You are Loki and you are safe and real. I am Eleanor and I'm safe and real, too."
"Not a delusion."
"Not a delusion," she repeats. "The real deal."
"I am angry with you," he says when the fog in his head clears. "I am furious."
Sighing heavily, Ellie takes a step back. She reaches up to tuck his hair behind his ear, smiling ruefully. "Yeah, I'm really hoping you'll get over that sooner rather than later."
"You have total control over my life," he spits out. "You. A little wisp of a nobody."
Ellie rolls her eyes. "I saved your ass, bucko."
Loki looms over her, looking absolutely murderous. Despite their past, Ellie refuses to show any fear.
"Well," says Tony. "This is far from encouraging."
Iron Man has no respect for the obvious message behind a closed door.
"Are those my pants?" asks Steve.
Ellie closes her eyes and rubs her temples as Loki stalks to the bathroom without so much as a word.
"This is hard enough without the two of you antagonizing him," she snaps. "Will you just lay off?"
Tony and Steve just stare at her with varying degrees of anger and bafflement. Tony is the first to recover, but he shakes his head a couple times first, as if he is attempting to clear it.
"Okay. Fine. I don't get whatever the fuck is happening here, but Fury is at the compound so I'll stay here with Reindeer Games and Steve can take you in, Miss Eleanor," declares Tony.
"You're not even wearing the suit," snaps Steve. "I'll stay. You take Ellie."
Tony opens his mouth to argue, but Ellie speaks up.
"He's coming."
"Do you really think that's wise?" asks Tony.
"It's not a choice," she says with a shrug. "He goes where I go. It's part of the deal. We can't get more than like fifty feet apart or something like that."
There is a beat of potent silence.
"What the fuck did you sign up for?" asks Tony.
Loki slams out of the bathroom at this moment, clothed in his standard Asgardian getup – a tunic and leather pants. He shoves the neatly folded sweatpants into Steve's chest and the world's first superhero is forced to take a step back.
Ellie latches onto Loki's elbow as all the men in her life scowl at each other.
"We may need to go shopping. You'll fry in this thing," she mutters inanely as she fiddles with his collar. Loki transfers his scowl from the boys to her and she drops her hand.
"Are you dragging me back to see my dear old friends, Eleanor?" Loki hisses.
"Unfortunately. If you're up for it. We're going to have to go eventually. I for one think we should just get it over with. If you're up for it."
Loki raises an eyebrow at her.
"What do you think?" she asks when he fails to answer.
"You ask my opinion?"
"Um, yeah. It's not like I can just go on my own. What do you think?"
"We will get this over with now."
"Cool. I have to get dressed." She's pulling on his elbow again, dragging him back towards the bedroom.
"We can wait with him while you change, Ellie," Steve says.
Ellie just shakes her head. There is no way she is leaving the three of them alone. They'll totally destroy her living room in less than five minutes.
She leans back against her door for a moment when she gets it closed, trying to collect herself.
"Are you all right?" Loki murmurs, voice soft.
Ellie just nods, letting her head fall back against the wood. She keeps her eyes closed, not quiet ready to deal with the drastic turn her life has taken. This is not something she really thought through, but even given a month to reflect on the pros and cons of becoming Loki's bot whatever, she'd do the same thing. There really was never a choice at all.
She can feel Loki hovering, only inches separating their bodies. Without even opening her eyes she can sense him.
His fingertips trail up her throat until his thumb strokes her jaw. The movement coaxes her eyes open.
"Shall I kill them for you?" he offers.
"No. I like them."
"They cause you torment."
"I'll survive."
"You made me wear that foul mortal's pants."
"At least they were clean."
"I am now clean."
Ellie smiles, leaning in to his touch.
"That's what we're working on," she whispers. Loki's eyes narrow in confusion, but Ellie slips away to rifle through her closet before he can say anything. She selects a simple halter dress that stops just passed her knees. She considers retreating to the bathroom to change, but there is nothing under this oversized t-shirt that he hasn't seen before.
With quick movements, she pulls the t-shirt off and slips the dress over her head. She takes off the tights from under her dress and then turns around.
"That is indecent," Loki says. Although he leans against a wall opposite her, he isn't quite able to pull off a casual feeling of indifference. Ellie gives him a measured look before grabbing a thin black cardigan. Loki nods his approval of her black and green ensemble, although he scowls again when she slips her feet into a pair of worn Birkenstocks.
Ellie pulls the sleeves of her sweater over her hands before taking Loki's arm.
"Ready?" she asks. He reaches out to steal her hair tie. She shakes her head as her hair tumbles down around her shoulder. Ellie takes the elastic band, slipping it onto her wrist.
"Absolutely not."
He puts up no resistance when she walks him out of the cramped bedroom.
"It is true and binding magic, Nick Fury," Thor insists, watching the Director of SHIELD pace along the curved row of windows lining the far side of the lab. Ellie sits between Darcy and Jane on the couch, while Thor stands nearby. Tony, Steve, and Natasha all gather by the sliding glass doors. "The power will hold Loki until our father sees him properly rehabilitated."
Ellie is super attuned to Loki, lurking in the shadows far behind them in the depths of the lab. She is aware of his every movement, his every shift and twitch and breath.
It will certainly take some time to get used too.
Except she won't have to because this will fade.
"I'm not trying to insult the Allfather's magic," says Fury, continuing his pacing. "My main concern here is that our Miss Tate is too lovesick to control your psycho brother. That silver tongue of his will get to talking and our Miss Tate will swoon, and the next thing we know we'll have another goddamn invasion on our hands!"
Ellie bristles. Director Fury obviously doesn't know her at all. Despite her inexplicable fascination with the God of Lies, Ellie is not weak nor is she soft nor is she stupid. Loki will not be hurting any one or taking over anything on her watch.
Even if it means she'll have to give up, sending him back to the tender mercies of the Allfather.
"My brother no longer desires to rule Midgard," Thor says as if it should be obvious. All eyes turn on Loki, save for Eleanor who stays facing forward. She feels him bristle with discomfort.
"That true, Reindeer Games?" asks Tony.
Loki stays silent. Ellie turns on the couch to give him a pleading look. When he does not respond she is forced to use her words.
"Can you help me out here, please?" she asks.
"Is that a command?" he snaps, his body tensed with hate and fear. He is so ready to distrust her, so ready for her to break her promise this easily.
"You know it isn't," she murmurs.
Loki sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping as he scans the notes scattered about on Jane's desk.
"Why I ever had any desire to rule this worthless spit of rock remains a mystery," he replies dryly. "With the exception of Eleanor and her voice I have encountered absolutely nothing worth while."
With the exception of Ellie's stifled giggle, there is total silence.
"Well, I feel so much better," quips Tony after a moment.
"Still think we're ants, Laufeyson?" asks Fury. "It was us who did the stomping back in New York, I recall."
The tension in Loki's body is so great it spills over on to Ellie. She is overcome with the urge slap the director of SHIELD. Thor even growls at the man. Fury stops his pacing to survey the room.
Ellie folds her legs under her body to prevent them from taking her across the room to give the God of Lies a hug. He certainly would not appreciate that, given their present company.
"We can go," Ellie murmurs, feeling deadly. "He's with me indefinitely and if you want Loki gone, then we'll go. We'll be fucking fine."
Maybe.
"May I remind you of our current diplomatic situation that places Midgard under my protection," Thor says. "I would not want anything decided here to change this, Director Fury."
The threat is clear. Ellie pales. The consequences of her actions keep getting bigger and bigger.
"Thor, it's fine. I'm sure Maureen would take us in." Ellie would rather stick pins in her eyes. "We'll be fine. We can go."
"Oh, that is not an option, Miss Tate," Fury says. "I'm keeping my eye on you. On both of you."
"Right," says Tony, drawing out the syllable. "Look, Nick, I don't think you are giving Ellie enough credit. She's not going to let him take over the planet or slaughter the townsfolk. Have you ever tried to convince Ellie to do anything she didn't want to do? Because in my experience that's just not going to happen."
Ellie gives Iron Man a grateful smile.
"Do you have any idea what you are doing here, Miss Tate?" Director Fury asks.
"Nope," she replies. "Not really. But he won't hurt anyone. He can't. I uh… commanded him."
The strangeness of that fact is something that Ellie will probably never get used to. She doesn't want to be able to command Loki. She isn't like him. She doesn't feel the need to bend anyone to her will, but in the moment she understands the necessity.
"Is it like what he did with the power of the Tesseract?" asks Natasha.
Loki lets out a rueful chuckle.
"Oh, if only Odin's power was as merciful as the Tesseract," he says wistfully.
"Merciful!" spits out Natasha, making Loki chuckle once more.
"Ah, yes. I'd forgotten your devotion to the Hawk. I assure you, Black Widow, your companion was free of all pain and fear during his time under the power of the Tesseract," replies Loki.
Ellie turns in her seat to look at Loki because she was there during the god's time under the influence of the Tesseract. Barton may have been free of all pain and fear, but Loki was just full of both.
Still is, actually.
"If it's not like the Tesseract what is it like?" asks Fury.
Everyone looks at Ellie but she glances at Thor. She barely understands herself and there is no chance of her explaining in a coherent way.
"The Tesseract exerts its power over the mind," Loki drawls as if he's totally bored. "Odin's bót mannaforráð magic manifests in the body. The Allfather bestowed the lovely Eleanor with the ability to control my movements at will."
"Bot manwhatnow?" asks Tony.
"Literally it means atonement authority," supplies Thor.
"I'm responsible for both his punishment and redemption," murmurs Ellie. The whole thing is still totally unbelievable. She glances around for a trash can, thinking for a moment that she my puke up all the nothing she's eaten since being back on Earth.
"And just how are you planning to accomplish that?" demands Fury, the leather of his trench stretches as he crosses his arms over his chest.
Ellie just shrugs. This is all very new to her. At some point she'll figure it out, but for now it seems like being here on Midgard with her in charge is punishment enough.
"Okay, so just to clarify," says Steve. "Eleanor commanded Loki not to hurt anyone. What happens if he tries?"
"It would be impossible," explains Thor. "He would be unable to move his form."
"My limbs would lock," Loki mutters, obviously miserable. "I would be unable to move, although my mind would stay my own. Eleanor has full control of my body."
Color floods Ellie's cheeks and she can feel Loki staring at her.
"What were your exact words?" asks Fury. "When you gave him this command not to hurt anyone. What did you say?"
"Um… I don't really remember," Ellie confesses, feeling flustered. She glances once again back at Loki. He clearly remembers every word but has no interest in sharing.
"Stark and Rodgers both think you can handle this, Miss Tate," Director Fury says, obviously reaching some sort of decision. "Given that this has the potential to become a complete diplomatic disaster, I don't really seem to have much choice but to trust that. But the least you can do is give him a command not to hurt or kill or try to take over the planet that is worded by us. It's got to be iron clad so that there is no way to for him to weasel around it. No loopholes."
Ellie once more turns back to Loki. It is a fair request on the part of SHIELD and she didn't put much thought into her last attempt at giving a command, but she made a promise to Loki, that she would never control him further than that.
Loki glares at her.
"What do you think?" she murmurs.
Loki raises a single eyebrow, cocking his head to the side to study her. She's somewhat pleased to see that she's surprised him.
"You're asking me?" he whispers.
"It seems like a fair request," she says, shrugging. Loki's eyes dart around, taking in all those watching their conversation but Ellie just looks at him. "I promised it would be just this one command, but really this is the same command just worded differently. And you have no desire to rule our worthless little planet, so it shouldn't matter, anyway."
Those piercing green eyes of his find hers again. He scowls at her for a moment before begrudgingly nodding.
"I would like a provision to defend myself," he murmurs. "And to defend Eleanor."
"That sounds fair," Ellie agrees, turning back to Fury.
"You want to defend her now?" Steve yells, startling everyone with the level of his anger. "You think you can protect her after the bruises you put on her neck? You're going to kill her!"
She feels Loki curl his hands into fists.
"Steve," Ellie says, struggling to remain calm. "He can't and he won't. His body won't let him hurt me. And given the kind of shit SHIELD exposes me to, can you really get angry at his desire to have a provision to protect me?" She turns back to Fury. "It sounds fair," she repeats.
The director of SHIELD glares between the two of them for a long moment.
"I'm keeping my eye on you. On both of you," he says again.
An hour and a half later Ellie gives the new, perfectly worded command.
This sucker was betaed by Marie Allen. Big thanks to her!
I am just having a blast writing this. That's most the doing of my lovely, enthusiastic reader. Maybe I will just do it forever and ever.
Working on the next one. Should be up soon.
Thanks for reading!