Chapter 22: Family Dinner
"This is by far the strangest thing I've ever done," Darcy declares, following Ellie around the rows of menswear section in the only sportswear store in Puente Antiguo. Various under cover SHIELD agents loiter around the store, waiting for Loki to get his violent rampage on.
Unfortunately, this trip is necessary. Because everyone around him is an idiot – Ellie included – he has only a pair of pants, a tunic, and some odd soft slipper-looking shoes here on Earth. Somehow Ellie doesn't think Loki is down to wear Steve's clothes.
Thus the shopping trip.
"You work for SHIELD," replies Ellie, selecting a package of black Hines t-shirts. "You've tasered the God of Thunder."
"Well, shopping for the God of Lies is way stranger than that," Darcy says, just continuing to follow Ellie around.
"I did not ask you to join us," Ellie says. After the meeting with Fury broke up, Darcy buckled herself into the backseat of Ellie's jeep, refusing to get out of the vehicle even with all the deathly glares Loki was shooting in her direction.
"Maybe I didn't want to leave you alone with him."
There are at least four SHIELD agents here as far as Eleanor can tell. She is far from alone.
Ellie grabs a package of boxer briefs, also in black, and cranes her neck to see Loki over the shelves. He studies a selection of crossbows while a group of townsfolk study him. Several years ago he leveled half this town in an attempt to kill his fake brother, but the people staring don't know that. All they see is a beautiful man in odd clothing.
"Darcy, don't be ridiculous."
"What? I just don't really believe that this spell of Odin's is going to do its job," she continues. "I think he's just going to lull you into a false sense of security and just when you start to trust him he'll murder you in your sleep."
Ellie rolls her eyes.
"He blew up this town you know," Darcy says.
"I know."
"Dude seems pretty unstable to me."
Ellie sighs and moves away, hoping Darcy will just stay in the clothes section as she makes her way to Loki's side. He's still staring at the weapons, seemingly unaware of the crowd he's attracting.
Not much happens in this small town. Loki will be the gossip for weeks.
"Hi," Ellie murmurs as she slides up to him. She can feel a ripple of surprise go through the crowd at the sight of someone so seemingly normal easily approaching someone so strange.
"Eleanor," Loki murmurs in greeting as he turns away from the wall of weapons. She wonders if he is even aware of the way his body tilts towards hers whenever she is close. He looms over her in a way that is equal parts protective and threatening.
"I got you your own sweatpants," she says.
Loki just nods absently. Ellie wonders what is going on inside that head of his. He reaches out to pull out her hair tie. She takes it from him as he pushes a hand through her messy blond mane.
"I garner too much attention," he murmurs, eyes searching her face.
"It's because you're so damn pretty."
Loki scowls at her. "Make your purchases. I wish to leave this place."
When Ellie turns towards the cashiers, she can feel Loki trailing just behind her.
"May we leave the chatty brunette here?" he asks as Ellie hands over her credit card. "So many leagues trapped in a metal box with this incessant irritant is unbearable."
"Consider it the first part of your punishment."
A shiny silver sports car is parked in Ellie's usual spot at the side of the cottage after they drop Darcy off at the compound. As Ellie pulls in next to it she groans and lets her forehead drop to the steering wheel. The wail of the horn makes Loki jump and Ellie immediately feels guilty.
Loki is very good at pretending to be totally fine, but he isn't. He is doing a fabulous job keeping it together for the sake of the Avengers, but his confusion and jitters are apparent to Ellie.
"Who is in your home, Eleanor?" he asks as if she planned this.
"Tony," she murmurs, scowling at the sports car. "Definitely Tony and probably Steve."
Loki hisses under his breath.
"Again?" he demands.
"You're tired," Ellie murmurs, taking in the bags under his eyes.
This is his first day out in the real world after months of rotting away in a dungeon with his lips stitched together. So far she's forced him endure Fury's interrogation, an hour in the car with Darcy the chatterbox, and a shopping trip amongst ogling townsfolk.
Wow, she's such an asshole.
Loki frowns but lets her stroke his cheek for a moment anyway.
"I'll get rid of them," she assures him, grabbing the bags from the back and opening her door. She senses Loki following her up the front path less than a pace behind her.
Tony is lounging on her couch, beer in hand, while Cap sits stiffly in an easy chair, hands folded in his lap. Ellie scowls at the pair of them.
"How did you get in here?" she snaps as Loki continues to stand just behind her in the small entryway.
"Who has two thumbs and installed your security," Tony says, pointing to himself with two thumbs. "This guy. Hey, do you have anything a bit stronger?" He shakes his near empty bottle in Ellie's general direction. She snags it out of his hand.
"Haven't I seen enough of the pair of you for one day?" she snaps, totally at the end of her rope. The affronted expression on Steve's face makes her feel a little guilty, but then she remembers Loki's extreme exhaustion.
"I'm only in town for a few more days," Tony says with mock hurt. "Don't you want to hang out with me before I leave?"
"No."
"Just like that?" asks Tony, pouting.
"Yes."
Tony sighs heavily, exchanging a sidelong glance at with Steve.
"First Darcy, now you two," mutters Ellie, stomping off to the kitchen. She dumps what little remains of Tony's beer down the sink before tossing the bottle in the recycling bin. "Get out now, please," she says, leaning against the counter and scowling into the living room.
"Okay, okay, you want your alone time. I get it," says Tony, standing and coming to the island counter opposite Eleanor. "Really, we just stopped by to drop off this."
He slides over a small black remote on a keychain. For a moment Ellie thinks he is handing over the keys to his fancy silver sports car.
"It's a panic button," murmurs Tony. Ellie looks beyond him to Loki who still stands by the front door, his body rigid and face hard. "Push that and you'll be swarmed with security, where ever you are. It's a direct line to SHIELD. You keep this on you at all times, Eleanor. Do you hear me?"
He is so serious and intense Ellie can't think of anything to do but nod. She slides it off the counter and into the purse. Tony lets out a low breath and he relaxes slightly. Abruptly he leans over the counter and kisses her forehead.
Loki takes a step towards them, but then Tony is pulling away, nodding at Steve who stands.
"Family dinner tomorrow night, okay?" Tony says. "We promise to leave you alone until then if you promise to show up. Right, Cap?"
"Right," mutters Steve, glaring daggers at Loki.
"Loki and I will discuss it," Ellie says, surprising all three of the men posturing in her living room. "Now off with you."
Ellie holds her breath as Steve and Tony puff out their chests and stare down Loki. He passively stares back and suddenly Ellie is so thoroughly exhausted.
"You hurt her," murmurs Steve, his voice low and dangerous, "I will rip you apart." And then he grabs Tony Stark by the elbow, dragging him out the front door. The sound of Tony's car turning out floods Ellie with relief. She can breathe again.
Without a word Loki moves into the bedroom. Ellie just stays in the kitchen, trying to decide whether or not to follow him.
He is shaking, sitting on the end of her bed because his legs won't hold him anymore.
She follows.
Loki sits with his head in his hands, stripped down his tunic and leather pants. His posture makes him seem just so incredibly lost. It breaks Ellie's heart a little. He just radiates pain.
With tentative steps, Ellie approaches him. She folds her legs under herself and sits on the bed, being careful not to touch him. Ellie wonders if he can sense her like she can sense him.
"Here are your clothes," she says, putting the bags on the bed between their bodies.
"Thank you," he murmurs, still not moving. Ellie stares at him with wide eyes, surprised by his manners.
"Where are you right now?" she summons the courage to ask.
"Here," he replies. "With you."
"It's better than spending a century alone, isn't it?" she whispers. This is the worst part. His anger at her is the only thing that makes her question this decision that has forever altered both their lives.
Slowly, he raises his head. He looks right through her and Ellie searches his gaze, trying to understand. If she can't understand then who else is there?
"Better for who?" he asks.
The question knocks the wind out of her for a moment because it makes it seem like he cares. The question makes it seem like her wellbeing is the reason for his anger, not her power over him. He is a burden to her now. She's once more changed the course of her life for this.
She knows he cares in his own limited way. She knows he wants her safe, but beyond that and Loki's strange dependence on her when he loses his mind, he's never given any sign that he really likes her at all.
"For you," she whispers. "It's better for you."
"And you?"
Ellie is quiet for a long moment, really thinking about what he's asking. It's been such a whirlwind and she acted so quickly, there has not been much time to process what all this actually means for her life and her wellbeing.
"Well," she finally manages, reaching out to rub his back. "You certainly aren't making my life any worse."
Ellie can feel Loki's chuckle.
"Do you want to go to family dinner?" she asks.
"Dining with your fake family do you mean?"
Continuing to rub circles on his back, Ellie smiles slightly.
"No, Tony was talking about dinner with everyone in town associated with the Avengers. Thor, Jane, Darcy, Steve. Probably Natasha. Fury if we are really unlucky."
"Steve?"
"Yes, Captain America. He was just here. You might remember him," she teases. Loki does not return her smile but he doesn't shake off her hand either. Their bodies are once more angled towards each other.
"I do not wish to attend this event," Loki murmurs, dropping his face to his hands once more.
"Yeah, me neither. But it might like our lives easier. Tony might never leave if we don't at least show up," Ellie says.
"These mortals you have surrounded yourself with do not understand magic."
"No," she says with another smile. "They don't get it, but neither do I really, so there you go."
His head snaps up and the intensity of his glare has Eleanor dropping her hand.
"You willingly bound your life up in forces you have no understanding of?" he hisses.
Ellie just shrugs.
"You are even more of a fool than I originally thought, Eleanor Tate," he mutters, turning away from her any lying down on the bed. "Will you sing to me?"
It is the first time it is actually a request rather than a demand.
"Yes," she says, already walking out the door. "Guitar or banjo?"
"Guitar."
Dinner is terrible and awkward, not that Eleanor thought it would be anything different.
On the way, she hopes her friends and colleagues will show some understanding towards the fragile God of Mischief, but Loki does a wonderful job of coming as arrogant and sullen rather than confused and jittery.
The persona is so convincing Eleanor wonders for a moment if his mental breakdowns have all been a rouse designed to play on her sympathies and savior complex, but then she remembers the fear in his eyes when he finally understood that she was really with him, that she would be for the foreseeable future.
She's seen this before. It's rather amazing, his ability to be this super villain around the Avengers and everyone else.
They arrive late to Tony's suite in the compound, a purposeful strategy on Eleanor's part. Drinks are always a prelude to dinner with Iron Man and there is no way in hell she will be subjecting Loki to mingling with his enemies.
He lets go of her hand just before they enter the dining area, and Ellie tries not to pout about it.
"Ah, the Lady Eleanor," says Tony when they appear. He sits at the head of the table, chair tilting back on two legs and tumbler of whiskey dangling from his hand. He looks like a drunken royal, presiding over his own little dominion, but his eyes are sharp and calculating. "And her faithful poodle. We were just talking about you. Glad you could join us an hour late."
"We just sat down," Jane says, shooting Tony a glare that is totally ignored.
"Brother." Thor's booming greeting alarms Loki. Ellie can feel his body jump in fear and his heart rate pick up, but his face betrays nothing and no one seems to notice, with the exception of Eleanor. "Here," says the thunder god with a sweeping gesture. "You may dine at my side once more."
Loki shoots Ellie a glance and she stifles a sigh as Loki holds out the chair next to his brother, silently demanding Ellie sit. The gesture makes Tony snicker, Darcy swoon, Steve huff, and Thor pout. Natasha is her typical stoic and scary self.
Ellie is already exhausted.
Loki has no choice but to sit next to Steve, but it hardly matters because there is no one here Loki wants to be near, including Ellie. There are a couple very tense moments of silence, but then Darcy starts chatting with Jane, Tony says something to Steve, and Eleanor relaxes slightly.
"How do you find your new home, Loki?" Thor asks as conversation continues around them. His uses a tone one would use to address a child and Ellie feels Loki bristle. To get a good look at Loki, Thor leans close to Ellie, draping his arm over the back of her chair.
Loki does not respond to the question but glares at Thor's offending arm with an intensity that could melt steel. Ellie is going to need to explain some pretty obvious things Thor seems totally oblivious to. He still doesn't see the intensity of Loki's jealousy.
"Brother?" Thor pushes, blinking with confusion and hurt.
"Oh, he thinks it's a hovel," Ellie replies, finding the tension unbearable, "but he loves the music room."
Loki doesn't look away from the arm on Ellie's chair, but his glare softens fractionally.
"Hey, we've worked hard on that hovel," Steve says, failing to sound good-natured. Something about his tone is proprietary and Loki has something new at which to glare.
"But it's tiny," Ellie says, trying to salvage the situation. Thor finally takes his arm off the back of her chair.
"I never minded," continues Steve. The aggression he's displaying seems so out of character. Ellie thought she did a good job killing his little crush, but this conversation indicates otherwise. "How's my cot treating you?"
The question is extremely odd and all conversation dies out to watch the drama unfolding at the end of the table.
Loki doesn't respond – he seems determined to ignore them all – but a wicked smile stretches across his face. With deliberate slowness and drama, Loki reaches out to place a hand on Ellie's knee. Steve has a perfect view to watch Loki drag his hand up her thigh.
She tries not to let it affect her, knows that this is all a game to taunt Steve, but her body reacts anyway. It is a great struggle to keep from wiggling close like the shameless hussy she is.
When Loki's hand starts to move inward, Ellie laces her fingers through his. She shakes her head in silent disapproval and he rolls his eyes.
The first course is served, preventing anyone from replying, but Loki doesn't let go of her hand.
"I'm stuffed," declares Darcy, leaning back in her chair with a contented sigh. She opens one eye to ogle Ellie's half-eaten chocolate lava cake. "You gonna eat that?" she asks.
Chuckling, Ellie hands over the desert. Now that dinner is over and Loki no longer needs his hand to poke at his food, it is once more resting on Ellie's thigh. She is unsure if the contact is from a desire to touch her or if he's still trying to fuck with Steve, but she's had four glasses of wine and he is drawing slow, steady circles on her skin with his thumb, so she can't bring herself to care.
"The meat was most satisfactory, Man of Iron," Thor decides, patting his belly. "Did you slay this beast yourself?"
Loki sighs, but no one notices.
"Sure," answers Tony. "Here on Midgard I am known as a great bovine slayer."
"He's teasing, honey," Jane says softly. "It's like at the grocery store. Remember? We've talked about this."
Loki rolls his eyes and gives Eleanor a significant look. She nods in understanding, as ready to go home as he is. She is about to stand and start the whole goodbye process when Tony speaks.
"So did Commander Tate order you to be silent or what, Reindeer Games?"
Not one word has passed Loki's lips since their arrival, and now he slowly looks up from his lap as if he is unsure if he's being addressed at all.
"Yeah, I'm talking to you there frosty. What gives? The whole point of this night was to get to know the megalomaniac under the direct control of our Ellie," Tony says.
"Bullshit," Ellie declares, scowling at her employer.
Tony chuckles. "Such a smarty pants, Madonna. Except for the taking you on thing. Still trying to figure this little bit of lunacy out."
"As am I," Loki murmurs.
Everyone is shocked to hear his voice and Ellie gives him a sad smile.
"Can she really make you do anything?" Darcy asks as if the question has been on the verge of exploding out of her all evening. "Like, anything?" She waggles her eyebrows.
It is now Loki that is shocked to be addressed with enthusiasm rather than hatred, and he turns to Eleanor for help. She is not amused.
"I've given my one and only command, thank you," she replies primly.
"Boo, you whore," Darcy replies.
Loki stands up so fast his chair topples to the floor. He glares at Darcy, who lets out a little squeak of fear.
Natalie, Steve, and Thor all jump to their feet as well. The assassin has a gun trained on Loki's forehead while Thor's arm is extended, ready to summon his hammer while Steve shields Darcy with his body.
Eleanor looks at Loki, watching her command at work. His body is frozen and he grimaces as he fights against invisible bonds. It is exactly as it was on Asgard when she finally screamed at him to stop.
Tony remains seated. He nods as he watches Loki, and Ellie understands the whole point of this ridiculous evening. Iron Man wanted proof of magic and now he's got it.
"Wouldn't this guy make an excellent ballerina?" Tony asks.
Ellie drags Loki out of the room.
"You are angry," Loki observes when they arrive home after a very silent and tense car ride. "Because your acquaintances are fools, no doubt."
Ellie gives him a withering glare.
"I am incorrect," he muses, actually stroking his chin. "Before my fall I was rarely incorrect. My mind is very apparently not what it was but even in my usual intellectual state, I believe you would baffle me, Eleanor."
She rolls her eyes before stomping off to the bathroom and slamming the door in his annoyingly perfect face.
A moment alone. Her task will be less daunting after a moment alone. Her cheeks are heated, a combination of wine and rage. She splashes cool water on her face and tries to calm down.
"You are totally in over your head," she says to her reflection. There is a brisk knock on the door. The knob turns, but she had the foresight to throw the lock. His inability to give her a moment has her anger returning full force.
"Surely this tantrum is not a response to my actions," he calls through the door. "I have done nothing to cause such an undignified tizzy."
At her wits end, Ellie throws open the door.
"You wanted to hurt Darcy!" she says, scowling up at him and hands fisting at her sides. She knows that this should not come as a surprise. Hurting people is what Loki does and nothing really has changed, but she's furious anyway. "My command was the only thing that kept the whole dinner from turning into a brawl."
Loki frowns and leans against the doorframe, studying his left hand. It is always the left hands.
"Yes," he agrees.
"And you don't get why I'm mad?"
"I find your anger misplaced."
"Oh no," she replies, shaking her head. "I'm pretty clear on the direction of my anger. You almost hurt Darcy."
"A punishment to fit the crime," he says. The cruel grin on his face makes her skin crawl.
"What were you going to do?" Ellie demands. She feels cornered in their tiny bathroom but despite his casual stance there is fire in Loki's eyes and she doesn't dare get close to him, even to escape. "Stone her? Send her to a brothel? Brainwash her into actually becoming a whore?"
He hisses at the word.
"Does the word really offend you so much?" she asks. "Damn, the God of Lies is quite the feminist."
Except back at Stark Tower he definitely called her a whore. Maybe this is exactly why the word offends him so much.
"The term does not offend me when accurately applied," he murmurs, staring at the floor like a scolded child. Ellie tries and fails to hold onto her mad as she feels the anger drain out of her.
Given her history, whore is something she's been called a lot, right along with slut, but she's always had to defend herself from such attacks. Although misguided, Loki's intention here was somewhat gallant. No one has ever defended her honor before, and Ellie is a little shocked that Loki of all people is doing so now.
"Loki," she says quietly, approaching him. She fiddles with the tie of his tunic as she forces him to meet her gaze. "Darcy wasn't really calling me a whore." He flinches and scowls at her. "It's a quote from a movie and just the way Darcy talks. She doesn't think I'm a wh— She doesn't think I'm like that."
"A meaningless distinction, I assure you."
She cracks a smile. "Not to me and not to Darcy."
Even his snort of disgust is elegant.
"And even if she meant it, even if she called me the most horrible and vile and offensive names imaginable, you can't try to attack people like that," Ellie continues.
Loki scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "Who are you to attempt to instruct a god?"
She doesn't even bother to answer this ridiculous question and instead pushes on in the same quiet tone.
"If there is some loophole you discover or the command doesn't hold and you hurt someone, then Odin is going to take you away," she says. Loki opens his mouth but Ellie holds up a hand and keeps talking. Miraculously, he lets her finish. "You know he can, Loki. Even when you get your magic back, you know he'll be able to do it, as long as we have this freaking bond thing going. And then you'll be all alone for a century."
"A blessing for you, truly," he mutters.
"No," she insists. "I would never be alright again."
Ellie is embarrassed now by this unpleasant and inexplicable truth. She studies her feet.
"Why?" His question is a strangled whisper.
"I wish I knew," Ellie replies, shrugging. It's a fight to keep from crying. "But you feel it too. Beyond this crazy mystical connection, you feel it too. You wouldn't be okay if something like that happened to me either."
He is quiet for a long moment, and when he speaks again, Ellie is relieved to hear his light and teasing tone.
"Well, I do not feel the urge to slaughter you in your sleep, if that is what you mean to say. And you're the least vexing Midgardian I have yet to encounter. In summary, I find your presence tolerable."
Ellie grins. "Tolerable, huh?"
Loki nods.
"Lies," she insists, making him smirk. "You like me."
"A preposterous notion."
"You like me." Her voice is singsong now as she beams up at him.
He scoffs.
"You really like me. I'm your best friend in all the twenty-seven realms."
"Nine," he corrects. "And I revise my previous statement. You are in fact the most annoying on Midgard and I find your presence decidedly intolerable."
"You like me," she says. The teasing makes her grin. "But please, please don't try to hurt anyone."
"No."
Eleanor blinks.
He is calm and sane. Somehow this is so much worse than the panicked, heart wrenching fit he had on Asgard when he finally understood the reality of their situation.
"No?" she repeats.
"I will never stop fighting this, Eleanor," he says. "This power you wield is misplaced and will not stand. Despite my great lapses in sanity, I will never passively accept the control you have over me. Never again will I play the pawn to any. Not to the Allfather. Not to the titan. And not to you."
The words hang heavy between them as they stand together in the doorway to the bathroom. Suddenly her actions on Asgard feel so very selfish because this power dynamic is something he will never be able to accept.
She thinks of Jane's advice.
"Okay," Ellie manages, frustrated by the hitch in her voice and the tears in her eyes. "You're not my pawn. Not at all, but okay. Odin always thought I would give up anyway, but if you want to call it than I'll let you. We'll go back to Asgard. We'll undo the bond, but you have to give me two week first."
"Two weeks?"
"Fourteen days where you try to heal. Fourteen days, and then you can choose to leave me."
"You could do anything you like to me in fourteen days," he says, picking at his hand again. "In fourteen days you could easily extract your vengeance."
Eleanor takes his hand – the left one – and traces his knuckles with her thumb. "In fourteen days I'll prove to you that it's not about vengeance."
"Do I have the option to refuse?"
"After everything, you can't give me fourteen days?" she mutters, pouting at him.
He sighs heavily but reaches out to play with a lock of her hair.
"Fine. I graciously accept."