A/N: Here's next chapter. I hope you all like it.

Also I have a question for you guys concerning the course of this story. I have a lot planned for this story with all kinds of twists and turns, but there's one thing I would like to know from you all. Would you like to learn more about JJ's past, her family, and how her career could unfold? Or are you more interested in seeing JJ with Hotch?

The thing is that I have a lot planned for this story that will reveal a lot about JJ and where she came from and what defines her, but Hotch's presence will decrease if I explore those aspects. If I do explore those aspects Hotch will of course still be in the story. It's after all a JJ/Hotch story.

So please let me know what you guys would like to read so I can continue this.

Special thanks to jenny crum, snuggleUP and 2Addicted2YourLove!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 23: Alone time

That same day, JJ stood outside of Chemicaltech Industries with her clothes packed to go away for an entire week with Hotch. She had managed to talk Warren into giving her the week off since she had been working non-stop for over five months. She was finally going to relax and have some time to herself. But mostly importantly, she was going to have uninterrupted time with Hotch, which was all that she needed to feel happy and alive. Being with him, as wrong as it was, was everything JJ wanted to do. Her drive for work had been diminished by him, and that was something no other man would've been able to accomplish.

JJ suddenly turned her head at the sound of a motorcycle coming her way. It seemed out of place in the vicinity she was in, but when it stopped right in front of her, she quickly realized the mystery met on it was actually Hotch. If he could become more perfect, handsome or insanely irresistible he did in that exact moment as he stepped from the bike and took off the helmet. Her heart sped up and her brain went completely numb. The sight in front of her was a perfect picture. He was out of his suit, which she knew didn't happen all that often. He was wearing jeans with a dark blue shirt and leather jacket over it. He was simply the epitome of hotness.

JJ started to walk towards him and stopped once he was close. She jumped into his arms, putting her arms around his neck for support. ''You look damn good on that motorcycle.'' she whispered into his ear. ''I never thought you of all people would have one.''

He put JJ back down on the ground and took a hold of the bag she had in her hands. ''I don't ride if very often since I don't have much time outside of work, but I thought today would be the perfect opportunity to take it for a ride.'' he explained simply. ''I hope you don't mind.''

''No, I don't. I like it.'' she smiled out as she followed him towards it. He handed her a helmet and she immediately put it on.

''Now, that looks adorable.'' he commented as he put his one on as well. He put JJ's bag in the underseat storage and closed it when they were ready to leave.

Hotch got on first and then JJ climbed up behind, immediately enclosing her arms around him and holding onto him tightly. It was one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Once they were on the road, JJ was feeling freer than she had ever felt in her entire life. The wind was blowing through her hair as they drove down the road. But it wasn't the fact that she was sitting on a motorcycle. It was because of the man she was holding onto as tightly as she could. Something about him made her feel free and real. She was herself around him. Not Jennifer Jane Allen, but simply Jennifer Caitlin Jareau. Her real authentic self, and that was something she hadn't felt in years. With Hotch she didn't have to pretend to be someone other than who she was. Everything with him was real and honest. She hadn't experienced that since her childhood before everything became dark. And after that darkness she went to college and joined the CIA, never truly being herself which was perfect for her job. But being with Hotch made her long for more, so much more. She could envision a normal life with him. Just plain normal, like some people had. But she could never have that, and that fact brought tears to her eyes.

As her eyes began to water, rain suddenly started pouring down on them and Hotch increased his speed. It was as if the rain were her own tears. Crying for a life she might never be able to have. She held onto him even tighter and a few minutes later they pulled up into the driveway of a modest beach house. JJ instantly jumped from the motorcycle, and before she knew, she was being pulled inside the house by Hotch. Their clothes were completely soaked but at least they were finally inside.

JJ leaned against the door as her bag slipped from her hands onto the ground. The tears were still in her eyes, and she quickly started to wipe them away before Hotch would see her. She couldn't exactly explain why she was crying, but she could feel his eyes on her once he turned around after taking off his jacket.

Hotch walked towards JJ, his heart beating in his chest because she was actually crying. He stepped right in front of her and cupped her cheek gently, his touch filled with love and care. ''Are you alright?'' he asked with concern.

JJ nodded as she gazed into his calming brown eyes. Just his touch could calm her down, and take away the pain she felt, but in that moment she didn't feel pain. She was crying because she conflicted. And she was only conflicted because she had never felt so happy, so safe, and so loved. And she couldn't believe she had only known him for six weeks. It seemed more like six years. ''I'm more than alright.''

''Okay,''

''It's just…'' she stumbled. ''…when you look at me, you really look at me!'' she said as another tear slipped down her face. She felt his finger wipe it away softly as he pulled her closer, his arms settling around her body.

''That's a good thing, JJ.'' he managed to croak out. He was completely overwhelmed by their moment. He was finally noticing how much their relationship meant to JJ and how it affected her, maybe even changed her. He felt the same way. Something with her was different. His life was so much better with her in it. He couldn't imagine his life without her anymore.

''I know.'' she whispered, breaking away from his embrace. ''I don't think anyone has ever loved me the way you do, and you've only known me for six weeks.''

Her words caused him to take her hands. ''JJ, you have no idea how special you are. You are so amazing.'' he consoled. ''And what about your family?'' he asked, realizing they had never talked about their families before. His past wasn't exactly a great memory. It was filled with doubts and fears, but that didn't mean that JJ's family was the same as his.

Oh god! This isn't where I want to go. I can't tell him. I can't. She thought to herself in complete panic. Hiding her past and family wasn't just to protect her identity and cover, but also to protect herself. It wasn't something she wanted to relieve. At one point in time her entire life changed forever, and her family disappeared from her life. Until the age of eleven she was happy, and she lived an extremely happy life, but with one second that all ended and altered her life. ''It's not worth talking about.'' she stated simply as she pulled away from him. She walked to the other side of the living room, hearing his footsteps right behind her. She just knew he wasn't going to give up on the subject. It wasn't like him.

''Why not?'' Hotch asked curiously after he saw a change of behavior in her. Her walls came back up after he asked that question and it didn't take a profiler to see that. ''JJ?'' he repeated as she still had her back towards him.

JJ turned around with a calm and almost cold expression. She couldn't give anything away. Nothing real could be said about her past, so she was just going to lie. ''My family died a long time ago.'' she lied. ''I just don't like talking about it.''

''Yeah, of course. I understand. I am sorry for asking.'' he apologized. ''I just want to know more about you.''

JJ stepped towards him, her expression softening when she realized she had come across a bit harsh. ''I'm sorry about that. My past isn't something I like to dredge up.'' she went on. ''I live in the now.''

''I get it, believe me.'' he assured as he looked down at their clothes. They had gotten so caught up in their conversation that they didn't even think to change out of their soaking wet clothes. ''Let's get changed and then I'll get us some food to make dinner.''

''That sounds like a plan!'' JJ agreed as she took his hand.

After a nice candlelight dinner the two had retreated to the couch to end their night together. Both of them had been feeling better than ever. Their time away would proof to be monumental in their relationship. There were no calls that could possibly interrupt them, and no other people. It was just them. And only them.

''Do you ever think about the future?'' he asked, breaking the comfortable silence in the living room of the beach house. They were settled on the couch, both with a glass of wine. Their legs were intertwined as she lay against him, side by side.

''Hmm, all the time.''

His fingers were tangled in her long blonde hair as he pulled her closer. ''How do you see your future?''

JJ got up and decided to sit down straight next to him. She looked up at him after putting her glass down on the coffee table. ''Honestly?'' she asked and he just nodded. ''Before I met you I envisioned a carefree life. Traveling around the world, meeting exciting people, being free, you know. That's all I wanted, but…''

''But?'' he asked with hope and eagerness.

''But it changed after I met you.'' she explained. ''I can't help but think about a future we could have together.''

Hotch put his arm around her and pulled her closer against his body, feeling his heart beat a mile a minute. That moment, together with her, couldn't be described as anything other than happiness, the perfect moment. He was happy. He had a smile on his face. His hopes for the future were bigger than ever and he felt excited about life. And it was just happiness he had never known before, and it was because of one girl. One amazing girl he loved so much.

''I feel the same way, JJ.'' he whispered sweetly. ''I know I don't talk about my relationship with Haley very often, and maybe I should.'' he went on. ''Haley and I were very happy at one point in our lives, and we both wanted the same things. Careers, nice house, marriage and kids.'' he said with sadness in his voice. His past with Haley sometimes still snuck into his heart and hurt him. ''We were halfway there went it all went wrong and our lives just fell apart.'' he continued as JJ looked at him in vain. ''What I am trying to say is…what I'm saying is that I still want all those things in my future, but now I want them with you, and only you.''

JJ leaned in and brushed her lips against his in a fierce kiss that showed him exactly how she felt. Her arms were around his neck as they leaned in closely to each other. She opened her mouth to say something that would put her heart on the line. ''I…I lov…'' she tried to say but then she suddenly stopped. Somehow her heart and brain weren't aligned. Her heart wanted to pour out how she felt. But her mind, the one thing that was in charge stopped her. So she pulled away from him and settled back onto the couch, realizing for the first time that her job was truly holding her back from fully committing to her relationship with the man beside her.

Hotch watched as she pulled away, her entire body tensing up and changing within just a second. He had a feeling about what she was about to say to him, but he decided to let it go. Something was holding JJ back, and he didn't know if it was good or bad. He knew she was a person with walls. She had even told him that, but every time they talked about personal matters, she managed to pull away from him. He didn't know why, but deep down he couldn't help but feel a little scared. He loved her, he truly did. But if JJ couldn't give him more than she had their relationship could never work.