Chapter 26: Surprise
"You, my dear, are a mess," Loki observes.
After their lengthy evening jog through the desert, his statement is truly accurate. Ellie puts her hands behind her head and slowly walks toward the cottage.
"I was trying to keep up with you!" she says through her panting. Every few feet Eleanor is forced to pause and double over in an attempt to catch her breath.
With the exception of the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead, Loki is totally unaffected by their physical activity. He also looks quite dashing clothed in the Asgardian equivalent of workout attire.
"Ever foolish, my songbird, attempting to keep up with a god," he says, giving her a smirk and a chuckle.
"Jane is a better jogging partner."
"Alas, it is me you are stuck with."
When Loki reaches out, placing a cool hand on the hot skin of her exposed lower back, Ellie groans.
"You reek," he says.
"You reek," she replies.
"There is dirt on your cheek," Loki continues with mild distaste. "Your hair resembles the home of a nesting bird."
Ellie turns and pushes her nearly naked body into his, dirt and smell and all. Loki may hate it when she wears so little in public, but for the first half of their run Loki hung back to watch her ass in itty bitty shorts. He only picked up the pace when she foolishly declared herself the superior athlete.
In this moment he certainly doesn't seem to mind her little shorts and sports bra.
"I need a shower," she murmurs, tugging his soft green shirt from he waist of his pants. Her hand presses into the bumps of his spine, his cool skin continuing to soothe her.
"What is the Midgardian saying? Shall we conserve water?"
Ellie laughs. The brain in this man's head is basically a sponge. It is truly amazing to see how quickly he picks up on the nuances of human culture, even if he considers it beneath his notice. Still, it amuses Eleanor endlessly to watch him struggle with other seemingly basic aspects of life on Earth.
An incident with the toaster was particularly hilarious.
"Our shower will be lengthy and is sure to waste this precious liquid rather than save it," he muses, sounding so serious it makes Ellie giggle again.
As Loki walks her backwards towards the side door, Eleanor runs her hands over the planes of his back.
"Will you kiss me?" she asks, pointing her chin to her chest and looking up at him from beneath her eyelashes as her back hits the door.
"You are a mess," he repeats.
"You like it."
His deep chuckle vibrates against her lips as he complies with her request.
Ellie is trying to get her God of Water Conservation out of his shirt as he gropes around for the doorknob. They nearly fall into the kitchen. It is only Loki's godly coordination that keeps them upright and Eleanor laughs yet again.
Today is proving to be a very good day.
Laura is gone. Eleanor passed his turning blue test, and ever since then, Loki's been something resembling happy. He hasn't had a panic attack in six days, a new record, and the bizarro behavior outside with the tree and the bird is only happening once or twice a week.
But Loki is kissing her and groping her and for the first time in years, Eleanor genuinely likes her life. Teeth sink into her lower lip and Ellie gets frustrated when he won't lift his arms to help her get his shirt off.
"Whoa."
The voice makes Loki leap away in terror as Eleanor turns to scowl at Darcy.
"Why are you in our kitchen?" Ellie snaps. She's aware of Loki's nerves. Dude really does not appreciate surprises, and Darcy in the kitchen is ruining all of Ellie's hard work creating a safe space for Loki.
"Umm…" Darcy looks into the family room. Loki and Eleanor follow her gaze.
There, standing in the organized chaos of their home, is the elegant and painfully royal Queen of Asgard. No one has ever seemed more out of place in such a room, and for the first time Ellie is embarrassed by their cramped living space.
For a long moment there is only staring and silence. Jane flutters around nervously at the queen's side, but Ellie ignores her apologetic looks.
Eleanor remembers that she was just really making out with this woman's son rather than rehabilitating him. And she's wearing basically nothing. And she is a mess.
Ellie turns bright red but the first person to break the stillness is Loki. Pushing away from the door, Loki storms around to block his mother's view of Ellie.
"Clothe yourself," he hisses as if this is all her fault. As if she planned this surprise visit. As if she wants to be half naked in front of his mother, also known as the freaking queen of the gods.
Loki struggles to right his own attire with shaking hands as he gives her the death glare. Taking a deep breath, Ellie steps around the irate god.
"Hello," Eleanor says with an awkward little wave. She is trying to sound cheerful, but her tone only serves to add to all the awkward. Under Frigga's warm gaze Ellie blushes again and she crosses her arms over her exposed stomach. "So good to see you. I'm just going to go change. Do you want something to drink? Jane, get her something to drink."
Ellie flees to the bedroom and wipes the sweat from her skin with a towel as Loki slams on in behind her. He sits on the end of the bed. In the closet she sheds her damp clothing. A dress is selected at random and Ellie pulls it on as she approaches Loki.
All the usual signs of an imminent panic attack plague him. The rapid rise and fall of his chest is accompanied by gasping, uneven breaths. He tugs on the collar of his long sleeved shirt with shaking hands.
"Did you know?" he manages to wheeze out.
"Of course not," she replies, keeping her voice gently despite his absurd question. "How could I possibly know?"
"Eleanor." She knows exactly what he's asking of her.
With sure, steady movements, she pulls the constricting garment over his head, discarding it on the floor. She moves to hug him, pressing their chests together so he can match his frantic breathing to hers. She strokes his hair and he holds on tight.
"Better?" she asks.
"Another moment."
He takes his moment and then a few more after that. When he lifts his head the exhaustion is back, etched back into his beautiful features.
"I detest this, Eleanor."
"I know."
"Will I be this way for all eternity?"
"Maybe," Ellie replies. "But I don't think so. It's getting easier, right?"
"I suppose," he grumbles.
Ellie kisses his temple and as painful as it is to see him like this he gets no pity from her. Loki loathes pity.
His gaze shifts from her face to the doorway, and he blushes violently, dropping his hands to his lap. Turning around isn't necessary for Ellie to know just who lingers behind her. His expression is enough of an indication.
Gathering her strength, Eleanor climbs off his lap and turns to look at the clearly heartbroken goddess. Mothers are certainly not Ellie's area of expertise, but this one is very obviously despairing for her son. In this moment Ellie is torn between resenting the woman for lying to him for his whole life and fully understanding her sadness and fear.
Loki clears his throat and speaks to the floor. "How long have you stood there?"
"Long enough," Frigga murmurs. "Eleanor, if you'll excuse us for a moment, I would like to speak with my son."
The goddess is clearly trying to stay strong, but her voice breaks at the end of her request and Ellie can do nothing but nod.
"Eleanor!" Loki says, protesting as she makes her way towards the door. She gives him an encouraging smile before slipping out of the bedroom and closing the door behind her.
"Jane! Don't go. You have to take her with you." Ellie pleads with her boss as she gets in her van with Darcy.
"She's not here to see me, Eleanor," replies Jane. "She's here to see her son."
"She can't stay here!" Ellie squeaks. "This is the freaking queen of the gods we are talking about. Where is she going to sleep? Jammed in my music room on the cot? On the couch?"
After watching Ellie deteriorate into hysterics for a moment Jane sighs heavily and puts both her hands on Ellie's shoulders. "You need to calm down, lady," Jane says.
"Could I give her our bed? I should probably give her our bed. Loki can have the cot and I can take the couch," Ellie continues, talking to herself.
From inside the car Darcy snorts. "Gross," she says.
"It doesn't matter where she sleeps," Jane says. "This is about her and Loki. Yeah, it's probably weird for her, but all these differences between realms is just going to take a backseat to Frigga visiting her son."
Ellie exhales and nods.
"You'll be fine, Ellie," says Jane.
"Let's take the queen of the gods out for margaritas!" says Darcy.
Eleanor sits on a rickety folding chair on the back patio with a guitar in her lap. She absently strums out a few chords and hums to herself, but mostly she frets over Loki. He's been locked away with his mother for nearly an hour now, and she worries.
The majority of her time these days seems to be spent fretting over Loki. That and playing music. And doing boring admin work for Jane.
When Loki silently appears behind her, Ellie misses those first few weeks after their return from Asgard when she could sense his every movement. Their magical connection faded and now he can ambush her again.
"You abandoned me," he whispers in her ear. As usual, she jumps about a foot in her seat.
"I did not!" The suggestion horrifies her.
He smiles ruefully but then pushes his nose into her temple so she knows she's forgiven.
"Are you okay?" she asks, threading her fingers through his dark hair.
Loki nods.
"Are you hungry?"
Loki nods.
Playing host to the mother of her lover/prisoner – the freaking queen – proves to be a surreal experience.
As she tries to figure out what they talked about for over an hour, Ellie makes supper. Loki hovers close behind her as she prepares salmon for the grill while Frigga peruses their shelves of books.
"Do you want to eat outside?" Ellie murmurs.
Loki nods and then sighs heavily when Ellie sets a stack of plates, placemats, and silverware in his arms. Still, he moves out to the patio to set the table without complaint.
Frigga looks slightly uncomfortable and totally out of place seated in a folding chair at the rickety old table on the concrete slab of Ellie's patio, but she does not say anything negative. She looks on in confusion as Ellie grills the fish, but unlike her son, Frigga does not comment on the lack of servants or Ellie doing work beneath her station.
Dinner is quiet and Loki is tense, but at least he seems much calmer now. Frigga asks Eleanor about their life here and then begins to tell stories of Loki in his youth that make the god adorably uncomfortable.
"This is delicious, Eleanor," Frigga says, gesturing towards the salmon. "You have a true gift."
The compliment seems to please Loki as much as it pleases Eleanor.
"You should hear her sing, Mother," Loki says, reaching out to rest his hand on Eleanor's knee. "Therein lies her true talent, although I do favor this dish also."
Both women gape at Loki for a moment. He doesn't seem to realize that he just referred to Frigga as his mother. It was said so casually, as if habit, but it also indicates something more.
It takes him only a few more seconds to understand why he is being stared at, and when he does Loki's jaw clenches and her looks down, removing his hand from Ellie's knee.
"Loki," Frigga starts, on the verge of tears.
"It was nothing, my queen."
Things are getting tense again, and Ellie can't stand it. She picks up her guitar and sings a song.
Unlike the night a month ago when her sister was their unexpected house guest, Loki – thankfully – makes no move to touch her when Eleanor crawls into bed next to him.
Frigga is settled on the crappy cot in the music room. Things got painfully awkward when Eleanor offered up their bed to the queen. She was equally unwilling to stay in the residential wing of the compound.
"Our sleeping arrangement is scandalous to my mother," he mutters in the dark.
Ellie rolls on to her side to face him, even if she can't see him.
"There isn't a lot of pre-marital hanky-panky on the Realm Eternal?"
Loki snorts, moving to mimic her position. She can make out his general shape, but no details of her gorgeous face. But his breath is on her cheek and she likes knowing that he is right here. There is no touching and the intimacy of the moment makes hers smile.
"Hardly," he drawls. "Sexual encounters are prevalent, but not discussed openly. Living together in this way before a formal union of marriage, it is simply not done on Asgard. It is taboo."
"Well, I don't want your mom to be uncomfortable, but we physically have to live together," Ellie points out. "What did she expect?"
"For me to have my own quarters, I image. Or at the very least my own bed."
"Do you want you own bed?" she teases. "We can get your own bed."
"A waste of both money and the very limited space at our disposal."
She giggles. "Money and space, huh?"
"Are you angling for compliments, my sweet songbird?"
"Maybe."
"I adore sleeping in such close proximity to your tantalizing body, but would rather not discuss it now with my mother just on the other side of that exceedingly thin wall."
Eleanor giggles again. She kisses his nose and Loki sighs dramatically, as if he is grossed out by her affection.
"You were alone with her for a long time," she murmurs.
"Indeed."
"Are you going to tell me what you talked about?"
"I was not planning on it."
"Can you tell me what you talked about?" she rephrases.
"No," he snaps.
Eleanor sighs.
In the silence that ensues she drifts off, so when Loki first starts whispering she mistakes it for a dream.
"She apologized. She cried. She professed her love, her regret. She sees my action in recent years as a result of her own failure and she desired to know what happened to me after the fall."
He is robotic and obviously uncomfortable. Ellie blinks at him in the dark.
"Did you tell her?" she asks.
"I told her that I would rather not discuss it for the associated pain is too great. That led to tears and the whole thing was quite unseemly. She attempted to embrace me, Eleanor."
His incredulity makes her smile.
"Did you return her hug?" Eleanor asks.
"I patted her back once."
Her impulse to laugh is totally inappropriate, but there is something so adorable about his befuddlement.
"I'm glad she's here." Eleanor says it because Loki never would. "It's a good thing, I think."
"Perhaps," Loki admits. "I know not. She…" He goes quiet.
"She what, Loki?"
"She claims to be proud of me, of the progress I've made here on Midgard, but I cannot understand what she means," Loki confesses. He rolls onto his back, sighing in frustration.
"Well," Eleanor says, cuddling into his side. "You have no plans to take over the world, right?" He is silent. "Right!"
"Not at the moment."
"So at least there is that."
"You do have a fondness for gardens."
This kind, amused voice takes Eleanor by surprise, and she drops her hose, nearly drowning a tomato plant. She scrambles to retrieve it as she turns to the golden goddess.
"Did I startle you, Eleanor?" Frigga asks, concerned now.
"I'm fine. You'd think I'd be used to you silent Asgardians by now. Your son seems to live to sneak up on me," Ellie says, smiling ruefully.
"He enjoys frightening you?"
"Oh, he thinks my jumpiness is just hilarious."
"This sounds like my son, the way he once was, before my family fell apart," Frigga murmurs, looking towards the evening sky. In every gesture of the goddess, Ellie sees Loki, but there is no convincing her God of Stubbornness of these similarities.
Eleanor can relate to Frigga's sadness in this moment. She too has a broken family and there is so much she would do differently if going back were an option.
"What was he like?" Ellie is aware that this may very well be the wrong thing to say to the clearly distraught goddess, but she is still not very good interacting with people – Loki being the glaring exception – and she has been dying to ask this question for months.
"Brilliant," Frigga says with a sad smile. "Quiet and somewhat awkward in his youth."
This is absolutely impossible for Ellie to imagine.
"He was almost shy, but ever so enthusiastic, especially regarding all things magic. He was ever the trickster and some of his pranks were legendary, although earned him few friends."
Ellie can't help but smile as she thinks of the incident a week ago when all the songs on Darcy's iPod were replaced with some truly bizarre monk chanting.
"He struggled to live up to Thor and the expectations placed on him as a prince, but I did not see the extent of his envy. There was always a sadness to my youngest that troubled me so, but this rage and bitterness is a recent development, as are his bouts of terror."
"Yeah, the panic attacks are scary," Ellie murmurs. She is drowning her vegetables again, so she turns off the water. Frigga starts to walk and Ellie falls into step with the much taller goddess.
"Has he told you of his time spent lost?" Frigga asks.
"Not really. But from what I've gathered, it was bad. Really bad. Mental and physical torture kind of bad."
Frigga takes a shaky breath and they walk in silence down Ellie's dirt driveway.
"I must admit, Eleanor, that when I heard Loki call out for you in his cell, when he was unable to understand what was truly around him, I was envious," says the goddess.
"Of me?" squeaks Ellie. Her shock is two-fold. Loki called out for her and it made The Queen of Asgard jealous. It seems too absurd.
"He saw you when he did not know me. He needed you as he rejected his own mother. I could not manage to help and in my frustration and grief, I resented you."
Their pace is slow. They walk just for something to do and Ellie tries to gather the right words.
"You should tell him you visited," Ellie says.
"He knows not?"
"Reality verses delusion was pretty hard for him at the time. He is still trying to piece together what actually happened."
"Oh." Frigga lets out a large breath and struggles against tears once more. Her distress compels Ellie to share a theory.
"I think he saw what he expected to see," she explains. "He didn't think he deserved your attention, so he didn't see you. But it would be good for him to know now. It's huge that he's calling you 'Mother.' He gets super pissed when I refer to Thor as his brother."
Ellie is failing miserably at comforting the goddess, but this conversation still feels important.
"In two days he has referred to me as such only six times," replies Frigga, sighing heavily.
"It's big," Ellie repeats. "I promise, Frigga. He's healing."
As they stroll, Ellie's dirty garden clothes don't see to matter that much compared to the elegant goddess. Both women want the same thing.
"You are kin," Frigga says. Ellie struggles to keep up with the abrupt subject change.
"Kin?"
"Your father is my kin," she says. The mention of the elusive Bragi makes Eleanor's stomach hurt. "And so are you. He was once a very dear cousin. Would you like to know of him?"
"Nope." Ellie's answer is too harsh.
"Truly? You are not curious?"
"He seems like a selfish asshole to be honest. If he's still alive. Right now, I just can't bring myself to even care. I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I'm not really human and then Loki is here, so I just don't have the energy to give a shit about the dude that left my birth mom to die."
Frigga is frowning, but she nods and doesn't push.
"You would be more comfortable discussing my son?"
"Yeah."
"Here he has a chance to heal, and I would hate for him to be robbed of this," Frigga says.
"What?" Eleanor's heart seems to stop in her chest, just like her feet in the dirt. "Are you here to take him away? Does Odin think I'm doing a bad job? I'll be better. What do you want me to do?"
"No," Frigga says, reaching out to take her hand. "Calm yourself. Thus far your performance in this role has not been seriously questioned, but there are whispers. Since the renewal of your… intimate relationship, Odin has grown to doubt your capabilities to sufficiently punish our son for his crimes."
Ellie turns bright red and curses the all-seeing Heimdall, God of Creepiness. She starts walking again, her pace somewhat more furious, just because she has no idea what to say.
"I thought Heimdall couldn't see me?" Eleanor says, suddenly feeling like she's being studied. She even glances over her shoulder.
"He cannot. He could see Loki before my son once more cloaked himself from the gatekeeper's sight. Loki's father is most displeased about this change."
Eleanor relaxes, but only slightly.
"You're saying I have to hurt him, make him suffer," Ellie snaps, remembering her original cause for concern.
"Productively so. You have to make him see the error in his ways."
Eleanor snorts and resists the urge to ask Frigga if she's ever met her son.
"Do you love him?" asks the goddess, easily catching up with Eleanor.
"Wha—" Her shocked response is cut off when she smacks into an invisible barrier. It feels like running face first into a brick wall, and Ellie falls backwards, hitting the ground with such force the breath is knocked right out of her chest.
For one ridiculous moment she thinks it was the shock of Frigga's question that's done her in, but the throbbing of her veins and her bones is painfully familiar, even if it's been awhile.
"Fuck," she wheezes, trying to catch her breath. Frigga's concerned face fills her vision and she lies still for a few moments.
Eleanor really needs to curse less in the queen's presence.
"You attempted to exceed the boundary of your bond," Frigga guesses, reaching out to lay a hand on Ellie's forehead. The motherly gesture makes Ellie smile.
"Not on purpose," she replies. "One hundred yards really isn't that far."
As she sits up on her elbows Loki appears at her side, crouching in the dirt across from his mother.
"What did you attempt to do?" Loki spits out. The arms that come around Ellie are gentle despite his anger. He pulls her to his chest, away from his mother.
"Sorry," Eleanor mumbles, already comforted by his presence. Being close to him again soothes her tensed muscles. When she opens her eyes, she surprised to see Loki glaring daggers at his mother rather than Eleanor.
"I did nothing," Frigga insists. "We conversed only."
"You attempted to steal her from me! You caused her pain!"
The shrieking is really not helping her body feel better.
"Dude," Ellie says, trying – and failing – to wiggle out of his firm grip. "It was my fault. We were talking and I didn't realize we'd gone so far."
Loki does not appear to be listening. Continuing to glare at his clearly upset mother, he hauls Eleanor to her feet.
"You are no longer welcome here," he says to Frigga. Loki's contempt and cruelty has Frigga cowering. Ellie may be somewhat familiar with his violent mood swings, but his mother is clearly horrified to see her son lashing out this way. "Leave now and do not return. If I never lay eyes upon you again it will be far too soon."
He tries to drag Ellie away, back to the safety of their cabin while she stares at the elegant goddess, broken and crying in the dirt.
"Hey!" Eleanor is yelling and digging her heels in. Her resistance garners Loki's ire, but she will not let Loki hurt his mother for no reason. "Stop!"
"Is that a command?" He is yelling now too but he stops pulling at her.
"Don't you tempt me." This is so far from her typical response Loki actually gapes at her as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him.
"Eleanor?"
"You are being a total dick," she informs him.
"Dick?"
"Yeah. You are acting like a spoiled ass and I don't appreciate you throwing a hissy fit!"
"Mind your tongue, Eleanor." His low and dangerous voice no longer fazes Eleanor. Behind her, Frigga gets to her feet. Loki tracks his mother's movements with narrowed eyes, ready to combat any perceived threat from his own mother of all people.
As Eleanor sees his fear, evidenced by his pale lips, wild eyes, and shaking hands, her anger drains.
"Loki." She waits for him to look at her before continuing. "I know you are just reacting like I was almost taken away or hurt, but that's not happening, okay? I screwed up. I wasn't thinking. It was an accident."
He relaxes fractionally, reaching out to rest a hand against the side of her neck. "You are unhurt?" he whispers.
Ellie nods.
"You will not be taken from me?"
Ellie tries to nod, but then thinks back to her conversation with Frigga and she can't quite manage it. Seeing her hesitation, Loki freaks out all over again.
"Explain!"
"I just have to get better at the whole punishment part, apparently," Ellie mutters. The thought is sickening.
"Banishment to this worthless realm and placement under the control of a lesser being does not constitute adequate punishment?" Loki asks his mother.
"Loki—" Frigga is pleading with her son, but he turns on his heel and storms off.
Ellie turns to look at the goddess and starts walking backwards, following Loki. She knows his destination is over one hundred yards away and she gives Frigga an apologetic smile as she backs up.
"I do hope you love him," says the Queen of Asgard, following Ellie towards the cabin. "For he truly loves you."
Frigga's words are ignored because Ellie knows the gentle goddess could never understand. She doesn't think on them again.
She scrambles up the bluff to Loki on the rocks. The sun has to be making him horribly uncomfortable, but he sits anyway, refusing to look her way even as she makes enough noise to wake the dead as she tries to stay on her feet as she makes the climb.
When she reaches the edge of the ridge Loki simply studies his hands, even as Eleanor stands in front of him, hands on her hips.
"You called me a dick in front of my mother," he mutters, pouting.
"You were a dick to your mother. She's probably more upset about that," she replies.
Loki sighs and Eleanor isn't mad anymore.
"You were worried about me," she murmurs.
"Hardly," Loki drawls, rolling his eyes. "My motives were purely selfish. Who would prepare my meals if you were stolen?"
Eleanor shakes her head and fights a smile.
"Also it fucking hurts," she adds.
He frowns, running his hands over her arms.
"Indeed. Are you quite all right, Eleanor?"
"Yeah. Are you okay?"
"Yes. I've endured far worse."
She knows this to be true and hates it, so Ellie kisses him tenderly, because they do this now. Loki sighs as she reaches up to cradle his face.
"Am I right in assuming that you are no longer cross with me?" he asks, smirking slightly.
She shakes her head.
"Why were you so cross with me? You are no great fan of mothers in general."
"I like her. She reminds me of her son."
"Thor's eyes are similar in color. As are yours, but that is a fact I'd rather not think on."
"Other son," Ellie says. She doesn't want to think about any physical resemblance between herself and his brother, either. "And I don't mean looks."
"Oh."
"Look," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You have a lot of legitimate reasons to be angry with your mom, but this isn't one of them."
Gaze back on the sky, Loki is silent for a drawn out moment. He picks at the back of his left hand.
"Do try to be aware of the distance between us in the future," he murmurs, standing and placing his hands on her shoulders. Before she can promise, Loki is wrapped around her and the world is dissolving. Her stomach twists as their living room clarifies around her.
"Oh, I hate that," she mutters. "Why didn't you warn me?"
"When I give you warning, you refuse."
"Better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission, huh?" Ellie muses.
"What an apt statement. I approve of this outlook."
She neglects to tell him that this saying is definitely not an original thought on her part.
"And while on the topic of forgiveness," he turns to Frigga who stands by the front door, looking stoic and solemn. "I overreacted."
This is very nearly an apology and Eleanor's eyes go wide. For the first time she thinks he might actually have half a chance at succeeding in this crazy difficult quest for redemption.
"I am not like I was," Loki admits, shrugging. "I've lost my capacity to be rational, it would seem."
This is the very worst part for a man as fiercely intelligent as Loki. As much progress as he's made since coming to live here with her, he is not fully recovered.
"Oh, Loki." Frigga cautiously approaches the troubled god. When she gives him a tentative hug, he doesn't flinch or jump. Instead he closes his eyes and returns the hug in a way that makes Eleanor inexplicably miss Maureen.
Loki steadily sips his wine, watching Eleanor and his mother enjoy each other's company.
The Queen of Asgard is actually griping about the lack of variety of music on the Realm Eternal.
Eleanor is bouncing with excitement, selecting album after album to play on her record player, detailing nuance of style and musical theory for his mother who nods in encouragement.
In this moment, Loki is struggling to recall that this is act only.
In the months since the return of his magic, Loki's played the part well. He appears to be following Eleanor's road to atonement while he continues to seek ways to ensure escape from the Isle. He distracts Eleanor with ease, being kind to her ridiculous female companions and feigning an interest in their work, but he still toils to free himself from this oppressive arrangement.
It is not going as well as he hoped. Breaking a conjured bird out of a dome of entrapment is an inadequate test environment. Daily it seems as though a bit of his sanity is returned to him, and with this reclaimed rationality comes a doubt in the viability of the plan that is still tucked into his pocket.
All Loki can do is practice breaking his own spells, an experiment that is inherently flawed, and he is somewhat at a lost for how exactly to proceed.
He will think on it at a later date, when his mother is no longer here and Eleanor is no longer smiling at her.
It is an old thing, observing the blooming relationship between Eleanor and his mother but he finds the cadence of their combined voices to be entirely soothing. Eleanor's bright-eyed enthusiasm for the current topic of discussion is endearing. The patient and eager questions of his mother remind him of how she would sit with him for hours, encouraging his early fascination with magic.
This circumstance for their meeting is peculiar. He imagines how this would occur if he were a true prince of Asgard.
He thinks of it often; a life lived with Eleanor at court and Loki unpolluted by the blood of monsters. Courting Eleanor as a prince of Asgard would be a formal and tedious affair, and when they reached the stage where it would be appropriate for Eleanor to meet his mother, it would be nothing like this – his mother relaxed in a lumpy easy chair, Eleanor sprawled out on the floor at Loki's feet in her night clothes, albums spread out around her.
There would be a lavish feast. Conversation would consist of proper, dull topics. Eleanor would need to learn how to be charming and she would wear a beautiful dress of colors here own. There would be no green covering her body.
For the first time, he is glad that this meeting occurs here, in Eleanor's Midgardian shack where she is comfortable enough to truly speak to Loki's mother.
He is missing the conversation and Eleanor laughs, smiling up at Loki. She lays her head on his knee, wrapping an arm around his calf in a very odd embrace.
If this meeting were occurring in an alternative reality on Asgard, there would be absolutely no touching, save for a formal dance or perhaps a kiss on her hand.
Even here with his mother smiling on, Eleanor's touch is assured and knowing. She touches him with such ease, as if he is an extension of her own self. She touches him as if it her right.
And perhaps it is. He gave her that, at least. It was not forced upon him by the bond Odin wrought.
"He's not even listening to me," Eleanor says to his mother, smiling fondly. "But he hates this stuff."
He focuses on the current record filling the room with music.
"Twang," he says with disgust. "I do loathe it so."
"I think it is wonderful," says Frigga. "There is nothing so fascinating and strange as this on Asgard. Loki, you must at least admire the uniqueness and variety of Midgardian music."
"I prefer the classical selections," he says.
"I'll put that on now," Eleanor replies, getting up to change the record. "It's beautiful."
On her way back to her position on the floor she fetches yet another bottle of wine from the kitchen. This is his mother's last night with them on Midgard and Eleanor insisted they celebrate.
He looks forward to once more having Eleanor all to himself, but part of him - a lingering, foolishly sentimental part - would have Mother stay.
Eleanor refills his glass, pressing a kiss into his temple. Frigga is looking at him as if she is on the verge of crying once more. It makes Loki uncomfortable and he clears his throat before glowering at Eleanor.
"You are far more talented than any musician you have played for us thus far," he mutters.
"Thanks."
They settle back down, Mother dramatically clutching her heart and closing her eyes as Mozart swells.
He wonders what Frigga will think of his eventual departure of the Isle.
As of late, he has barely found the inspiration to develop the necessary spells to ensure escape. There is no real way of knowing what he could encounter there, and although he is confident in his ability to out-do Odin, the Isle is ancient and the magic that surround it is ancient also.
This arrangement with Eleanor cannot stand, but trapping himself on the Isle for a century is equally unacceptable.
Perhaps there is an alternative.
These conundrums are often set aside for reveling in Eleanor's presence, attempting to soak up enough of her to last him through the coming isolation on the Isle.
If he decides to take part in the coming isolation. The plan in his pocket be damned.
I have the best readers in all the land. To my beloved anons: THANK YOU.
We are nearing the end of what I have written. Originally, I planned to close this out in 30 chapters, but I don't wanna! I want to keep going and fanfiction is supposed to be fun and with the new movie coming out I am just going to want to write even more, so I will.
I would really, really, really love to hear your thoughts, be they good, bad, or ugly.