...And Other Pointless Endeavors. If you're curious about this statement, I couldn't fit the entire title inside the given parameters.

Thank you for all the reviews! A couple of you asked about the magical contract, along the lines of 'would it still work?' The answer is, no. That's why Gabriel didn't hesitate to sign it.

The Goblet took effect for one reason - first, because of only names being dropped in, I'm guessing that the goblet has the ability to 'sense' a person based on their name, because otherwise it's picking based on which names it likes best. And that's stupid. So it was able to find 'Harry' [because it's still his body even if it hasn't been him in it for a while] and chose him because who better or more competent to compete?

Anyway. Now a contract would most definitely not work, but it doesn't really matter since Gabriel's not planning on telling anyone.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Harry Potter

Their potions substitute was an older man with a truly impressively large mustache called Horace Slughorn.

Gabriel really wasn't sure what to think of him.

On one hand, he was a much better teacher than Snape had ever been. On the other, he was the kind of teacher who picked and collected favorites and was always talking about his old students and their accomplishments.

So Gabriel's opinion was almost evenly split between 'annoying' and 'eh. Forget him, there are more important things to think about', and he usually went with the latter, because the weird potions substitute was not the most important thing on his mind.

What was on his mind was that Snape was still not cooperating.

Honestly. He'd been in there for how long, now? And Snape still adamantly refused to say whether he'd figured out the point of it all or not. Maybe he had and was in denial. Maybe he was just blind to his own faults. Whatever the case, Gabriel was seriously considering just sticking him in some sort of fatal scene and letting someone find him in some corner of the castle a few months from now.

There was only so long a trick could go on before it got boring. Gabriel was reminded of why he'd never used the idiot box on anyone except the Winchesters, who were basically the only people he'd tricked that hadn't ended up dead.

But it turned out that the decision was, eventually, taken out of his hands.

It started with little things.

So-called 'magic traps' littered over the school, obviously meant to try and take the Trickster unawares. Luckily, Gabriel was not only much smarter than they seemed to think he was, none of the traps worked.

Then, the teachers started trying harder. They started keeping eagle eyes on the classes and Gabriel couldn't eat candy anywhere without someone swooping down on him suspiciously.

If only for the sake of his Twix bars, Gabriel decided to throw them a bone.

If 'stumbling' into one of the traps, Trickster disguise set and looking down at the trap in surprise wasn't enough to get them to stop, nothing would be.

As it turns out, stumbling into one of the traps was exactly enough.

It's only an hour or so, despite the fact that it's nearing midnight, before light starts shining in the distance and Dumbledore turns the corner, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout in tow. They were all holding lit wands, and the white light flickered over the corridor and Gabriel as they came to a stop, careful not to step over the edges of their 'trap'.

Gabriel gave them a slow clap, which was about as sarcastic as a clap could be. "Well done. You've managed to catch yourself a Trickster."

Sprout looked surprised at the American accent, but she didn't comment on it.

"So you are the one who attacked both Professor Umbridge and Professor Snape?" Dumbledore asked. His face could have been set in stone.

Gabriel shrugged. "I might be." He admitted, grinning. "Come on. Those two? How could I resist?"

"What in Merlin's name is that supposed to mean?" McGonagall demanded. "I hardly think that-"

"Come on," Gabriel said, drawing out the words and speaking over McGonagall. "None of you? Really?" He whistled in fake amazement. "How deep are you in De Nile?"

"I presume you are referring to Professor Umbridge's unique teaching method," Dumbledore guessed.

"Just hers?" Gabriel gave Dumbledore a slightly condescending look. "Really. None of you see anything wrong with the other guy's classes." Mentally, Gabriel frowned over Dumbledore's wand. There was something a bit off about it - but there was no way it would be that easy. Right? I mean, who would ever guess that he had Death's wand?

The four teachers glanced at each other, as if having a silent conversation. Flitwick was the first to speak. "Do you mean how he-"

"Never mind," Gabriel said airily, interrupting the smaller teacher. "If you don't know I'm not going to explain myself to you."

"I think we deserve an explanation, since you have stolen two of our teachers," Dumbledore insisted, his tone darkening slightly.

"So, what?" Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "You're going to force me to tell you?"

"You are in our trap," pointed out Sprout.

Gabriel grinned at her. "Oh, am I?"

He vanished silently and reappeared behind them, the teachers stiffening and swinging around to see where he'd gone, light swinging around the walls crazily until they landed on him again like spotlights. Gabriel noticed that the portraits were all watching avidly, like spectators to a show.

"Let's be honest," Gabriel said, still grinning at the teacher's now slightly worried expressions. "We both know that I'm beyond what you're used to dealing with. I'm only here because I wanted a quick chat. So, sorry," Gabriel affected a regretful expression that even the four teachers would be able to tell was fake, "But I'm gonna have to cut this short."

Snap.

He hadn't done anything to the four who came to confront him except give them a vague sense of deja vu which lasted for about twenty-four hours, and okay, maybe he'd switched out Dumbledore's candy dish. It wasn't his fault the man had abominable taste. Lemon candies. Honestly. There weren't even any other choices.

It took another week for anything interesting to happen, and that was only because Gabriel eavesdropped on the next staff meeting.

They were talking about him, of all things. Gabriel settled in to listen.

"I told you, he walked right out of the trap."

"But that's-"

"Impossible, so you have said already. But you were also the one who warned that it might not work-"

"It was a very small possibility, but I was sure that it would-"

"I think we should really bring someone else in."

"Like who?"

"I don't know! People more experienced than us, for sure! Doesn't the Department of Mysteries deal with things like this?"

"You're suggesting that we ask for Ministry aid?"

"I'm saying that someone there might have encountered one of these before."

"Hate to break it to you, sister, but I'm one of a kind."

Everyone in the room jumped as Gabriel spoke, whipping around to see him balanced on the windowsill.

"No need to get so excited," Gabriel said cheerfully. Several of the teachers had drawn their wands, but no one made a move to try and attack him.

Dumbledore had stood up from his place at the head of the table. "Why are you here?" He asked.

"Well, that's a loaded question. Why are any of us here? Some might say it's because God got bored and decided to create the world-"

McGonagall made an exasperated noise. "Why did you interrupt our meeting?"

Gabriel pointed at her. "Better question. What you mean is, why interrupt when I could have sat here and found out your exact plans for what to do with me. Right?"

"I must admit," Dumbledore said slowly, "I am curious as to why you announced your presence."

"Why do I do anything?" Gabriel asked rhetorically, swinging his legs onto the floor and damnit they barely touched it. He pretended he didn't care. "Honestly? I'm bored." Gabriel absolutely did not whine the last part. "Your Potions professor isn't nearly as interesting as I thought he'd be."

Gabriel could practically feel the atmosphere in the room sharpen - he'd landed on the right topic. Let's see where he could go with this.

"Professor Snape isn't...interesting?" Vector finally asked, when the silence had begun to drag on.

"Did I stutter?" Gabriel leaned back against the window, grinning slightly. "What, did you think I just straight up killed him? Nah. Quality entertainment. Or at least, he was."

"I don't suppose that means you'd be willing to bring him back," Sprout tried hopefully.

Gabriel gave her a really look. "There's a point to all these tricks, you know. I'm waiting until the dear ol' professor pulls his head out of his ass and realizes what I'm trying to get through his head."

"So he will come back eventually." said McGonagall, looking relieved.

"Well..." Gabriel let the word linger in his mouth. "It's been a while. He's getting boring. It's beginning to look like a lost case, honestly." And they were back to the tense atmosphere. "And who knows what could happen then." Gabriel put a hand to his chin in mock thought. "Sharks? I'm thinking sharks. Maybe sharknado. You ever see that movie? Don't. It was horrible."

He grinned at the horrified looks on their faces. "Don't be so dramatic. He'll survive." Gabriel paused. "Probably."

"You can't do that!" Gabriel turned towards the teacher who had made the outburst - unsurprisingly, it was the substitute Defense teacher.

"Actually," Gabriel grinned even wider, and Ackerly shrank back in her seat. "I can."

Absolute silence followed. None of the teachers seemed willing to draw his attention, and some of them seemed almost glad that he'd scared the shit out of the Ministry lackey.

Huh. Even the teachers didn't like her.

"If you'll excuse me," Gabriel said, hopping to the floor, "I've got places to be. Check ya later."

Snap.

He hoped they appreciated his redecoration properly.

By the next day the papers were already blaring headlines about how the Minister had been alerted to a problem at Hogwarts and was sending a team of Aurors to deal with it.

This was going to be hilarious.

Apparently they were also bringing along an 'Unspeakable', which was apparently the name for the people who worked in the Department of Mysteries. Gabriel was actually interested to see what they were like, because judging from people's reactions to the name they were a pretty big deal.

Still, however good these Unspeakables were, there would only be one of them and that definitely wasn't enough to deal with Gabriel.

The dark-cloaked figured hovered in the back of most of their classes, whispering and casting suspicious looks over teachers and students alike. The Aurors seemed mostly useless and spent most of their time prowling in the background of the school, investigating every single corner they could find.

Despite the worries from Hermione and basically everyone else who had been at the Hog's Head that their club was in danger, Gabriel was having a blast messing with the Aurors.

There was the occasional surprise left in dingy corners for them to find and freak out over [okay, maybe they weren't the nicest surprises].

Things progressed in this manner, Gabriel not giving anything away or giving them any reason to suspect Harry Potter [the ability to create doubles sure came in hand from time to time], and everything came to a head only a few weeks after they had arrived.

The Aurors, having gotten frustrated with their lack of progress and the fact that the things Gabriel left for them to find had gotten more and more mocking as time went on, had resorted to talking to students and looking for even the smallest hint that someone might unknowingly have of how to find the Trickster.

One of them, a pale, older man, had bypassed talking and gone straight into 'interrogation mode'.

"Look, kid, just tell me if you've seen anything!" The Hufflepuff he was talking to looked near tears, and out of the corner of his eye Gabriel noticed both McGonagall and two of the Auror's teammates moving towards him, with furious and concerned looks respectively.

Too slow.

Gabriel wasn't sure how observant they were, so he didn't snap but instead simply skipped the physical cue and went straight for his Grace, and the shouty Auror vanished, the Hufflepuff jumping and a few scattered candy wrappers drifting to the floor in front of them.

The occupants of the hallway - an entire class's worth of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws - seemed to freeze before everyone exploded into action.

Students hurriedly got out of the way of the other two Aurors, who were running toward where the third had vanished, one bending down to grab the wrappers off the floor. There was also one still-intact candy bar, with a long note attached which read 'Asshole Alert' in the fanciest calligraphy Gabriel had been able to muster in the few seconds he had to think of something good.

He really doubted that they'd ever think to look for the Auror in the Russian Antarctic research station.

"You sure that wasn't you?" Michael asked quietly as they were shunted to the side, more teachers arriving.

"Nah," Gabriel lied easily. "I was about to do something, though. The Trickster just beat me there."

"Honestly, I don't think the Aurors are going to help." Michael admitted. "Even Dumbledore was worried, you could tell."

Gabriel shrugged. "Well, maybe the Aurors will keep the Trickster distracted from everyone else."

That they certainly were - Gabriel had been having too much fun to even see what was going on with Snape. Speaking of which, maybe he should send the potions master some company.

Ah well. He'd just have to wait until another one of them did something worthy of retribution.

By dinner that day everyone was buzzing about the Auror, who was the only one so far to have vanished in front of witnesses. The Hufflepuff who had actually been right in front of the vanishing man was apparently a second year named Laura Madley, and she was absolutely swamped with requests to know what had really happened from anyone who wasn't there. The same was happening to anyone who had been in the hallway at the time, the rest of the school eager to know what had happened to make the Trickster act so blatantly.

The group of Aurors, now down to six, weren't at dinner, and when Gabriel actually looked that night he found them huddled together and whispering at the end of a corridor on the fifth floor.

Well then. Time to make things a little more interesting.

Gabriel left the by-now usual double in his bed, in case anyone came by to check [there was no way to tell what the staff might do at this point] and proceeded to put into action what he hoped would turn out to be a complete raging mess of chaos.

That was the whole point of a Trickster, after all, and what sort of God of Mischief would Gabriel be if he never caused anything big?

A door slammed down the hall from the group and they all whipped around, wands at the ready and peering into the darkness which the hallway was blanketed in, since it was nearly ten. The only light came from the torch on the wall nearest them, and whoever had their wand lit.

"Hello?"

"Don't greet it you idiot what if something's actually out there." An obviously senior Auror smacked the one who had spoken first on the head, and as he did so four more doors burst open and then slammed. Warily, the group of six froze, looking around for the possible cause as Gabriel grinned around a lollipop from his position standing on top one of the unlit torch brackets. And no, he was most definitely not pretending to be a ninja. Where on earth would you get that idea.

The same thing happened to the windows, as Gabriel created the illusion that they suddenly blew out, shattering and scattering glass among the group, who all quickly drew their apparently impervious cloaks over their faces.

"Where is it?"

"I don't know, Perkins, why don't you try doing your damn job and figure it out!"

Gabriel let loose the laugh he'd been holding in and the sound echoed eerily down the corridor, due to the effects he'd put in place earlier to generally make things a bit scarier than they would normally be.

"The damn thing is laughing at us!" The man in the middle seemed to swell with indignation. "You, Perkins - take these two and go see what's at the other end of the hallway." He gestured to two of the other Aurors as he spoke, and 'Perkins' hesitated before nodding and setting off, his two new lackeys following reluctantly.

Big mistake. Didn't they know that the number one rule of horror stories was to never split up?

Three hours later, there had been a lot of screaming, some truly horror-movie worth moments, an actual bad horror-movie romance moment between two of the Aurors [she slapped him and told him to grow up and concentrate on the damn job], and Gabriel was starting to get bored messing with them.

One odd thing was that Gabriel was sure there had been six of them earlier, but one of the six had vanished somewhere, managing to avoid the worst of the trick. Most likely they were the Unspeakable, because Gabriel was sure that they didn't teach 'negating trickster magic' in whatever pathetic training those Aurors got.

Looking closer in search of the mysterious sixth member provided no results.

Intrigued, Gabriel looked even closer, scrutinizing every facet of the school, but where there should have been one more person there was nothing. Interesting. He'd never encountered someone who could hide their very soul, and from an archangel no less. Gabriel pressed harder, letting his Grace blanket the nearby area to start off with, and heard a muffled noise behind him.

He turned around and saw nothing, only the shadows from the windows stretching across the entrance hall.

Frowning, Gabriel pressed harder, finding one specific spot that definitely felt like there should be something there, but there wasn't. These 'Unspeakables' didn't fuck around, it seemed, but Gabriel was an archangel.

The Unspeakable didn't move physically once Gabriel ripped off their cloaking device, but he could practically feel them panicking. Weren't they ever taught not to broadcast their thoughts like that? As if Gabriel had triggered a switch, the stream of thoughts and emotion from the Unspeakable practically shut off.

"Hey," he said, grinning. "Nice of you to join the party. I was wondering where Ministry lackey number six had gone off to."

The Unspeakable stiffened slightly. "You enjoy playing with us?" Her voice was totally androgynous, and if Gabriel hadn't been able to see her soul then he'd have been hard-pressed to guess her gender.

"Kind of in the job description, sweetheart." Gabriel rolled the lollipop around in his mouth. "You know, that thing you used to hide yourself - pretty impressive! Mind if I ask why you thought it was necessary?"

"It's a requirement when facing an unknown entity," she stated, voice steady. Her face was hidden under the hood of her robe, which covered basically everything.

"And I'm an unknown." Gabriel considered her words. "I thought they brought you because you knew what you were dealing with."

"They think I do."

"And do you?"

"The Department of Mysteries has knowledge of many obscure areas."

Gabriel grinned. "Ah. The Department of Mysteries. The name itself invites a closer look." He spun around in the wheeled chair he'd snapped up for comfort. Maybe also because he liked spinning in them, but he'd never tell anyone that. "Do tell. I'm eager to hear about it."

There was a moment's pause before she replied. "Are you stalling?"

"Mmmmmaybe I am." Gabriel spun in another circle and then stopped, heels dragging on the floor. "Look. I've had my fun here. Your colleagues are boring me. And I can't think of anything decent for you - not that I'd want to, anyway, since you seem like a generally decent person and I'd say I don't fight women but I've known too many women who could probably kick my ass."

"Where is this going?"

"Straight to the point. I like that. What I'm saying is, I can read the signs. So call this me offering...a favor, of sorts. Whatever you want."

She didn't drop her guard for a second. "A favor."

"No strings attached."

"Let me guess...in return, I look the other way while you leave?"

Gabriel shrugged, a small grin lingering on his face. "Something like that."

"I think I'll have tor refuse."

"Now, why would you go and say something like that?" Gabriel sighed. "Look. I'm perfectly willing to be on my way with no casualties, even if you did ruin my first trick. Is it so much to ask that you try not to kill me on my way out?"

The Unspeakable paused. "What if I ask that you return Professor Snape as my favor?"

"Why on earth would you ask me to bring him back? I'm offering you anything, and you go for the potions master?" Gabriel pulled a face. "You're thinking small, sweetheart."

"No, I don't believe I am." The Unspeakable took a step forward. "How about I make a deal?"

Gabriel stood, discarding the chair, which quickly vanished. "Negotiations with the Trickster? That's playing with fire."

"I think I can handle it."

Gabriel let a grin spread over his face. "Excellent." He clapped his hands together, looking at her expectantly. "What are you angling for?"

"Two things," she said. "One, you bring back Professor Snape - unharmed."

"That's only one," Gabriel said, arching one eyebrow. "In exchange for what?"

"That's for me letting you go freely. Two, you provide information on Tricksters for the Department files in case this happens again. Truthful information."

"And in exchange for what?"

"Me keeping my colleagues out of your way."

Gabriel snorted. "Honey, I don't think they could stop me if they tried." He took a few steps forward, noting that the Unspeakable didn't take any backwards. "And let's say you could kill me-"

"I can," she said. "Oaken stake, with the blood of a previous victim - Madam Umbridge was all too willing once we told her what it was for."

Gabriel paused, then nodded, shifting on his feet like he was trying to discreetly go backwards. "Okay then. You've done your research. And you know what you want, obviously."

"So what do you say?"

"No." Gabriel raised a hand. "To the second one only. I could keep out of the way of those muttonheads without your help, thanks very much."

"So you agree to the first term?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Why not."

Snap.

Snape did return, but he didn't show up to take over classes again until over a week later, and even then Slughorn continued teaching everyone under sixth year. Whispers abounded as to how he'd suddenly returned, or why the group of Aurors had left early that morning before anyone saw them, or how the Trickster had been kicked out of Hogwarts.

Gabriel feigned ignorance when Michael or Hermione asked him if he knew what had happened, because he'd been in the tower and why on earth would he be messing with a Trickster, Hermione, they're just demigods and nothing really to worry about.

Occasionally, Gabriel wondered how they would react if they found out that he was the Trickster. But that particular train of thought never lasted long, because of course they wouldn't find out. The only way that would happen would be if they deduced it - say, if they met his sons, and the only way that would happen would be if they both miraculously morphed into two of the people Gabriel actually trusted enough to tell about the three boys.

Like that would ever happen.

No, of course that's not foreshadowing. Why on earth would you say something so ridiculous.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tomorrow's my last day of summer.

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