Chapter 21

Imagine Darkness.

Mind and Soul crushing Darkness.

The kind of Darkness that doesn't go away when the lights come on. The kind of Darkness that worms its way through your skin, past the layers of flesh and sinks deep into your bones. The kind of Darkness that rips the words right out of your throat.

The smells from your nose.

The sounds from your ears.

The sights from your eyes.

Leaving nothing behind but mind-destroying silence.

The Darkness that only comes from the embrace of Death.

Except in this case, you are not dead. You are still quite alive. Your heart is still beating, but you can't feel it. Your lungs are still breathing, but you can't feel8 the air inflating them.. Your eyes still work, but there's nothing to see. Your ears still work, but there's nothing to hear. You are floating in a limitless void. With no reference as to where you are, or when you are. You have no idea of how long you've been here. There are no clocks or calendars to mark the relentless passage of time.

One thing you do know. That you are going to be here for a very long time.

You are alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. And nasty, foul thoughts indeed. Thoughts of betrayal, and vengeance. Thoughts of hatred and the desire to destroy and replace the ones who put you here. To rip them from their holy and lofty places and grind them under your feet. For them to grovel for a mercy that will never be granted. A forgiveness never to be given.

To be alone with nothing but such thoughts to occupy your mind would drive most people insane. That's why they called this place The Living Death. Those who entered, if they came back out, did so irrevocably changed, damaged. You'll be no exception.

At one time, you were at the top of your game. Within reach of the pinnacle of your world. You had the power to make the dreams of millions come true, or you could dash those dreams just as easily. They had to come to you to advance in rank, and only you could approve or deny them.

There were only a few who superceded you, and even they learned to tread lightly when you were around.

You could walk into Kami-sama's throne room without requesting an audience. And he listened to what you had to say. More often than not, he went the other way, but at least he listened.

When you appeared at a gathering of the high and mighty, all heads turned when you walked in. All conversation stopped. Those in power may not have liked you, in fact, most of them despised you. But at least, they respected you. Metuant dum Oderint. Let them hate, so long as they fear was your motto. You had it good. You had the juice, the clout, the stroke.

Or so you thought.

Something happened. Kami-sama did something that you didn't approve of. He allowed something to happen to the most popular and powerful of her kind. It seems that he overstepped his bounds, violated one of the unshakable truths. And even worse than breaking one of the most sacred laws of the Realm, he did something that offended your sense of order.

A most unforgivable sin, indeed.

One that cannot warrant forgiveness. What was this offense that caused you such anger, that caused such vile rage to build up and corrode your soul, and eventually land you here in the Living Death?

Kami-sama allowed the human consort of one of the shining stars to become like her, or worse, like you. A God. What madness. What cheek! A feat that was unheard of. Thought to be impossible. After all, it had never happened before.

But just because it never happened before didn't mean that it couldn't happen at all.

You had always thought that the Supreme Ruler was getting a little "past it." You thought some of his recent decisions were starting to show the signs of a weakening mind. That maybe it was time for the old boy to step down and allow a younger, more capable God to take charge.

And of course, you had the very successor in mind, if those in power had the intelligence and forethought to simply come to you and ask. Respectfully, of course.

But, as you so carefully observed, they didn't have the sense to seek you out. To ask you your thoughts. They just simply went along with the status quo. They liked the current Ruler. He treated them nicely. He ruled with a firm but a fair hand, when he had to. He was compassionate and effective, if a little distant. A little too laissez-faire for a man of action like yourself. He smiled at the right times and to the right people, said the right things. He ran the place competently, and no one really had grounds to complain.

You, however liked to stay on top of things. To let those under you know that you were watching them. You had no problem with underlings inundating you with reports on who was doing what, and to whom. Who was petitioning for advancement. Who were their family? How prominent were they? What kinds of positions in the administration did they hold, and how could you somehow benefit from it.

Your style of leadership was what the world needed. At least in your mind. You would take charge and remind people who was in control. You'd run a tight ship. Made sure that things were done quickly and decisively. Away with the laissez-faire crap. You'd let the people know, without a shadow of a doubt, who was running things around here. If they only had the sense to seek you out.

But they didn't. They didn't come to you. They didn't ask your opinion. They didn't seem to care.

So you decided that if the people didn't want to come to you, you would go to them. You pulled some strings, called in a few favors, made a few threats, and got elected to the Council. That would be your bully pulpit. Your voice would be heard by the people who pulled the strings and pushed the buttons that make society run.

And you started speaking out. Of course, being a man of action, you didn't do things by half measures. You're an all or nothing kind of guy. You didn't know the rules of decorum, you were young and a hard-charger. You'd make them listen to you. Grab them by the scruff of the neck, and shake them into following you. After all, you had their best interests at heart. If only they were smart enough to listen to reason.

So you started disrupting Council meetings, threw the agenda out the window. Just spouting off about the latest inefficiency in government you observed, or the slightest issue that demanded the Council's attention and putting the blame squarely on Kami-sama. You ranted and railed for hours on end. Any problem you saw, either real or perceived, would make it onto your agenda, and you made damn sure that whatever was on your agenda deserved the top space on the Council's. Surely you'd get those old fools' attention by employing this strategy. Impress them with your no-nonsense, straight ahead style.

But it didn't work.

Instead of being scared or cajoled into action, instead taking on your causes with renewed vigor, instead of agreeing wholeheartedly with your ideas, they just sat there quietly and politely let you say your peace, and once you had finished, just picked up where they left off. No matter how much screaming, and hollering and bluster you spewed forth, arguing the rightness of your cause with all the fury of the young and idealistic, they didn't censure you, or shout you down, or command you to sit down and shut up. They just smiled, nodded their heads at the right times, and went about their business.

You were dumbfounded, How did these fools get anything done? How could they not see that the future of the world was standing before them speaking righteous truth. How could they not fall in line and allow you to lead them into the future? They just sat there looking like docile sheep.

Such questions puzzled you mightily, until after a meeting where you laid into the council for an hour straight. Your latest screed echoing off the walls, a veritable barrage of righteous indignation that impressed even you. Truly your best work yet.

And they still just sat there and heard you out. And then once you were done, just kept right on doing what they wanted to do. Leaving you to look like an idiot once more.

The Council Leader, a older more distinguished God named Ragnar pulled you aside. You braced for a withering dress-down, that the Leader had enough of your bluff and sputter and that it was time to put you in your place.

But he didn't yell or scream. He didn't chew your ass, or dress you down. His approach was calm and collected. His words measured, and his demeanor unruffled.

"Your problem," said Ragnar. "Is that everyone on this Council has been serving in that capacity for at least a hundred years. They've seen hundreds of hot-headed firebrands like you come and go. And you're no different from the rest of them. They come onto Council spitting fire and lightning, causing all kinds of fury and commotion, but in the end, they're all talk and no action. Their words are hollow. A lot of form, but no substance. Yelling at this bunch won't get you anything except tired and winded. You need to settle down, think about what you want to say and calmly explain it instead of acting like you've got a dragon breathing on your butt. Eventually they'll start listening to you."

You had to admit that Ragnar made sense. Maybe your approach was all wrong. Maybe you were better off coming across in a more civil tone, cutting down on the harsh rhetoric.

So you decided to change your strategy, to be more rational and reasonable, and slowly, the Council started to pay attention, really pay attention instead of just nodding their heads and acting like they were listening. You were able to bring up issues that you thought demanded the Council's attention, and they listened. And in many cases, they agreed with you.

But there was still that one incident that never ceased to get your back up. Kami-sama allowing him to become a God. What was so great about him? Sure, he had won the love of a Goddess. And not just any Goddess, mind you. But the greatest of all the Goddesses. And a Norn at that. The Goddess of the Present.

Belldandy.

At one time, the most eligible Goddess of them all. She had potential suitors from all over the Realm. She could have had her pick of the most powerful Gods. The games she could have played with them. Playing one against the others. Double and triple crossings. She could have had a different lover every night. But politely and respectfully, she turned them all down. She said that her greatest joy in life was the desire to make others happy as a field goddess in the Goddess Assistance Agency.

Even you considered making a play for her. Oh, how the tongues would wag and the heads would turn if you walked into a high society function with her on your arm. And in bed?...

But then you thought about it. It wouldn't have worked out. Your ego couldn't handle the fact that she would have had a higher status than you. She was too nice. Too well loved. She would have stolen your spotlight. And that would never, ever do.

But what was it about that human, that man, that caused Belldandy to fall head over heels in love? For one, he was human! He could never love her like a God could. He could never take her to the heights of ecstasy that only one born of Heaven could. If she would have turned herself loose on him, there would be nothing left. But there was clearly something that she found attractive. He wasn't much to look at. Gangly, very average appearance. A bumbling fool. It wasn't like she took pity on him. She was only fulfilling a contract. She had never felt so strongly about any of her other clients.

Nevertheless, the fact that Belldandy allowed herself to become so smitten with that Morisato fellow caused you no end of grief. It ate at you. Became an obsession that refused to go away.

Then it happened.

Belldandy's hearing. Her fellow Goddesses testifying in support of her and Morisato. How she brazenly told Kami-sama that she would refuse to follow a valid recall order. How she said to Kami-sama, that she put her contract with that human above her calling as a Goddess. Her defiance of his orders. Her threat to fight any Goddesses that Kami-sama sent to bring her into custody. And how Kami-sama backed down and offered a hearing so that Belldandy could explain her actions before Council and the entire company of Goddesses.

If that wasn't enough to prove that Kami-sama had finally lost it, nothing was. If you were in charge, you would have never let it comes to this. A hearing! Not on your watch. You would have dropped the hammer on Belldandy the moment those words of defiance came out of her mouth. Surely, you thought that it couldn't possibly get any worse than this. But, as you saw with your own eyes, and still couldn't believe it, it did.

Kami-sama sat back and allowed the Song of the Goddesses. The rarely used incantation that required every Goddesses' participation to cast. And once cast, it would allow the unspoken wish of one Goddess to come true, no matter what.

The Song of the Goddesses had only been invoked once before in the history of Heaven. It was an exceedingly rare occurance because there were very few occasions in which every Goddess could be brought together and agree on much of anything long enough to invoke the spell and there was also the potential for things to go really pear-shaped if the combined magic of all those Goddesses got out of control.

This time around, it was Belldandy's turn. She must have wished that Morisato could attain Godhood, so that she could show him the fullest extent of her love for him. After all, he proclaimed his love to her in the presence of every Goddess present, not to mention, Kami-sama and the whole Council. And that, above all, was what she desired more than anything.

Kami-sama had the authority to stop the Song of the Goddesses from being completed. One word from him and the spell would have been broken. But no, he decided to let it happen. What was going through that senile old man's mind? Didn't he understand the far-reaching ramifications of his actions? Didn't he have a clue of the danger to which he was exposing Heaven by allowing a human to become a God?

And the Council just sat there and let it happen, in fact, the Goddesses on the Council were singing along as loudly as any of the others in the vast hall. The enormous wave of Power that coursed through that room as the Song reached its climax, was all but impossible to resist, or to stop. Kami-sama alone had the Power to do it, but like so many times before, he chose to let the situation play out, and deal with the consequences later.

That settled it. You finally realized that you were not going to get anywhere with Council or Kami-sama. They weren't going to listen to reason any longer, at least, not your interpretation of reason. Desperate times called for desperate measures. So you decided to take your chances with the other side.

Hild.

Part of you had to be wondering why in God's creation you would resign yourself to asking the Daimaikaicho for help. What were you thinking? If you thought that Kami-sama was going around the twist, what the hell were you doing? You knew the consequences of your actions should you be caught. After all, you're suffering them right now.

You knew that even if Hild was remotely interested in talking to you, that any favor you asked of her would require some form of reciprocation. Demons didn't do No Strings Attached wishes like Goddesses. If you wanted something from a demon, they expected something in return for their trouble. And their price was very high indeed. But still, you thought that your cause was right. That you had to save Kami-sama from himself, and save Heaven from a misguided Supreme Ruler. And those in charge would laud you and praise your name on high as the one who brought sanity and order to Heaven. Finally, they would see the need to firmly remove Kami-sama from his throne, and place you upon it.

And it only took the breakup of a Goddess and her hybrid mongrel of a lover.

So you mustered up as much respect and humility as your inflated ego could stand. And through some clandestine connections that you made with certain people who knew certain people who knew other people who were carrying on very unauthorized liaisons with certain highly placed demons in Niflheim, you made contact with Hild.

And surprisingly, she granted you an audience.

Now, you were a God that was well traveled in the lofty circles in Heaven. You had plenty of experience around beings that occupied the highest levels of Divine society. You rubbed shoulders with the heads of the major departments, you were a member of the Heavenly Council, and in charge of one of the most influemtial organizations in Heaven, The very powerful Department of Examinations. You decided which Gods and Goddesses were eligible to take on First Class Powers.

You hob-nobbed with the movers and shakers. You knew their dirty little secrets, their forbidden vices. Who was doing what with who. And you weren't afraid to use that information to put a feather in your cap.

You also knew that oftentimes, it was more important and effective to hold on to a particularly valuable piece of information and to let its target know that you had it, than to actually use it. So you knew how to play the game, and you were damn good at it.

But nothing that you did or knew in Heaven could possibly prepare you for facing the CEO of the Infernal Realm, Hild.

Hild took treachery to a whole new level. She could lavish affection on her hapless subject one minute and cut them to pieces the next. Often without the poor victim even knowing that they were being fleeced. She was ruthless, merciless and utterly unpredictable. Lust personified, she was beautful, but deadly. Those who mistook her playful manner and stunning good looks for weakness, learned the hard way that she was anything but weak.

You met Hild in her conference room, and the first time you laid eyes on her, it took all the restraint you had not to ravish her where she stood. Raw sexual power radiated from her like deadly beams of energy. Fighting the urge to have your way with her on the conference table-or would it have been the other way round- you told her your problem. You spoke about how you thought that Kami-sama was getting too old and needed to be replaced. You complained bitterly about how Belldandy and Morisato had become the new power couple in Heaven and how his newly created Godhood would threaten the very existence of Heaven itself. Of course, you might have exaggerated a little for effect, but she didn't need to know that.

Hild listened to your dilemma patiently, nodding at all the right times, giving you the impression that she understood the problem completely, or at the very least, that she cared.

"You know, Baldur. You raise some interesting points." Hild said. "I've been trying to chase those meddling Goddesses off of Earth for years, and I haven't had any luck. They always seem to get the best of me, or at least, my bumbling assistant, Marller. She can't be trusted with the simplest of tasks.

"But enough about her. This latest defeat by Morisato, off all people, really hurt. I don't know how he was able to raise that Lava Wind Barrage spell from out of nowhere. But he clearly has tapped into some kind of Power that allowed him to cast that spell. It completely took me by surprise, and it pains me greatly to admit that to anyone, especially a senior official from Heaven." And as she glared at you she said in a menacingly low voice, "So what do you propose we do about it? You came to see me. Surely you must have a plan."

Initially, Hild's question caught you at a loss. You were expecting her to come up with a solution, but she threw the problem right back into your lap. Quickly recovering before she could see you sweat, you propose that you use your authority at the Department of Examinations to fast-track Morisato into taking the First Class Exam. You knew full well that he had just acquired Second Class Powers and was having a great deal of trouble learning to control them. Surely any attempt to use First Class Powers without adequate preparation would result in an embarrassing defeat at best and massive damage to property and his psyche at the worst. And that maybe it would be enough to dislodge those Goddesses from the Temple.

Hild asked, "Is there any way that I can propose one of the challenges of the exam? I have an idea."

And as she told you what she had in mind, your face broke out in a twisted smile. Her plan was perfect. Put Morisato into a situation where he had to choose between his Godhood and his Goddess.

"Well Hild, my dear." you said, disregarding the nasty look on her face as you added the 'my dear'.

"I have a certain amount of pull at the Department of Examinations, and while it would arouse suspicions if I were to make a change in the rules to allow a demon to directly pose a challenge to a candidate, I can slip in a caveat that would allow a demon to pose the challenge with the proctor's permission. Such a change falls within my authority to act without Council approval."

"Very good." cooed Hild. "You might be of some use to me after all." as she suggestively ran a hand across your chest. "Make it happen."

You could have said the same thing to her.

But unfortunately, as you saw, both you and Hild overlooked the resourcefulness of one Keiichi Morisato. Neither of you expected that Belldandy's partner had the presence of mind to use Hild's power against her and to take Belldandy's greatest weakness and turn it into her greatest weapon. An embarrassing defeat, it was. Hild was not happy at all. She wasn't mad at you, and while she was the one who underestimated Keiichi's ability not once, but twice, she took out her frustrations on her hapless assistant, Marller. It was going to be a while before Marller's skin would return to its proper color, and the third leg would fall off eventually.

Her anger not fully quelled, Hild kicked you out of Niflheim and told you not to come back until you had a better idea than her's. You returned to Heaven, and found that no one had missed you. Hell, no one even knew you were gone. Breathing a sigh of relief, you set to work trying to find a solution that would impress the Daimaikaicho enough that she'd let you back into her good graces, if not into her boudoir.

Yeah, you had to admit that Hild had what it took to put the lead in your pencil. You had been in the beds of some of the most powerful and alluring Goddesses in Heaven. Getting laid was never a problem for you. But to have had the head of the Demonic Realm as a conquest, that was a challenge worth pursuing. You had heard stories about Hild and her insatiable appetite for the lusts of the flesh. But for obvious reasons, you dismissed them as mere fantasy, because no one in Heaven who had Hild for a lover would dare admit to it.

Supposedly, there were a few who tasted of that forbidden fruit. But they kept their accounts to themselves. Even casual conversation with Demons at the wrong time or in the wrong place were grounds for at least a suspension of a hard-won license. To engage in sexual contact with one was right out, and doing the nasty with Hild herself? You shuddered at the thought of facing Kami-sama for that offense. Then again, here you are now floating in the Living Death for the act of treason. Maybe you would have been better off nailing Hild.

You were going about your business, splitting time between your Council and Department head duties, until you remembered something that someone told you about an obscure magical artifact called the Eye of Heaven. You had heard about it before, but like so many in Heaven, you heard merely rumors and speculation about what it was and did. You asked around to those whom you knew in very high places, what did they know and when they knew it. But like so many others, all they could offer were wild rumors of varying states of outlandishness. Some said it held the Divine Spark that created the Universe. Others said it contained the one thing Kami-sama truly feared. But despite the wide disparity of the rumors, one thing was made clear. That whatever the Eye of Heaven was, it was very powerful indeed. And maybe just enough of a prize to dangle before Hild to let you back into Niflheim.